Saturday, April 28

Premie Training Time

As I mentioned in my last post, david's premature ejaculation issue, my husband has been a premature ejaculator, or "premie" as I will now start calling him during training, for quite some time now; and it is time he faced up to his problem. I am planning on putting him through a strict and embarrassing training regime in front of my sister Sue (assuming she agrees).

I thought it would be more meaningful to him if his training regime was well established before it is witnessed by my sister. As a result, I broached the subject of his training this evening.

The reason I chose to do it in this order is that I want the full magnitude of it to hit him all at once when Sue is in the room and I tell him that she has been made aware of his problem, and that due to his poor progress to-date, I have decided he will be punished by being trained in front of her today. When I say that, I want him to know exactly what "training" implies, having gone through it a couple of times at least.

I gave it a lot of thought beforehand, exactly what my "training program" would be like, and even wrote it down and edited it a few times. Such a stickler I am. But hey, attention to detail, right? It's my forte. Rather than tell you all about it, I thought I'd explain it the way he heard it.

I sat him down on the couch, and said I wanted to talk about his premature ejaculation problem. He was extraordinarily sheepish and humiliated about the whole thing. I pretended I wasn't playing. Rather, I convinced him that it was affecting me more than I let on, and I wanted to talk about what we could do about it, together.

"I thought you didn't mind so much?" he said.

"I try not to baby, but yeah, I do mind." I answered. He looked a little sad at that. "But don't worry," I told him to perk him up, "I've been reading about some ideas we can try, and they seem to be very effective, so I'm sure that if we tackle it together, before long you'll be giving it to me nice and hard and for a long long time."

Seeing his face still sad, I thought I'd better quickly repair some ego bruising. "But your mouth and touch are the best, baby, better than anybody else's, and that's most important. I love your tongue on my tits, and my pussy, and my ass. I cum so hard for you. Harder than anybody else ever. It's just I miss the other thing a teeny tiny bit too, and so I want you to try with me, ok?" As I said this, I rubbed him through his pants and pressed my breasts up against his arm, my hot breath in his ear. How could he refuse? I was hoping my touching would subtly remind him of the time he disgraced himself into his underpants when he was in high-school when his pretty date touched him the same way.

"ok" he said. "how does it work?"

I told him that I was surfing the Internet today doing a search on premature ejaculation and happened on a support group for wives whose husbands suffered from his problem. I told him there were many great ideas for how to deal with the problem that had proven to be very effective for them, and maybe they would be for us also. They were all based on gradually extending his staying power. I told him I would be taking a mixture of the best ideas, adding some of my own based on our particular lifestyle (and gave him a wink), and creating a little training program for him that he might even enjoy.

I said that he would be using his hand on himself, lubed and vigorous, and I would be timing. Each day he would rub himself without cumming for more and more time. I would increase the challenge by adding things that turn him on, like dirty talk, light spanks on his ass, a sexy peek-a-boo from me, or having him hold toys inside his bumhole. "Doesn't that sound like fun?" I asked him.

"What if I can't make it?" he asked.

I told him that if he thinks he's going to cum, he can ask my permission to stop rubbing. If I think he's done enough, I'll let him stop for ten seconds, hands at his sides, to regain his composure, and then we'll start from the beginning again. If it's really bad, he can ask me to clamp him with my hand at the base of his cock. But each time he stops, I'll add up the seconds he had left, and at the end he'll get a paddling with my hairbrush for as many strokes as all the seconds remaining. If he needed a clamping, the seconds would be doubled. I told him that spanking was my own idea. He could have guessed that, he said.

"But what if I really can't make it?" he asked, looking nervous but knowing the answer before I even spoke it.

I told him that the whole idea was that he control himself. If he can't: it's the strap. david groaned at that. He knows a strapping from my leather tawse is no laughing matter (see my post Strapped! from back in November).

"Nooooo..." he whined at me.

"And whatever comes out," I told him, "you'll be holding in your mouth during your strapping without swallowing. Afterwards you'll spit it out into the sink, and it better all be there, or else!"

As an afterthought, I also told him that he should expect teasing from me about his problem during his training, but at no other time. I said that one of the wives on the newsgroup suggested that if hubby is made to feel embarrassed and inadequate every time we train, it will motivate him to change. I told him that being domme, I enjoy teasing him, so he should expect that and not take it so personally. But outside of training, I would stroke his ego (amongst other things) not worrying about or commenting on his staying power at all.

I asked if he agreed to all of that and he said he did. Even though he is embarrassed by his problem, the training regime is designed to be something that appeals to his subby nature.

Of course, he has no idea that my plan is to have Sue witness the training. For now, he believes it is strictly between he and I. Poor naive baby. Having Sue there will really freak him out, as he is so embarrassed and guarded about his premie problem.

I told david that his training sessions will be on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays (nights we are both generally home). He was expecting a training session right then and there, but I thought I'd let him stew on it over the weekend instead. I'll try to get Sue interested in witnessing, and line her up for Friday if she's free and willing.

Aren't I just soooo naughty???


  1. Julie, Ma'am, Years ago, there used to be an advertisement for Micheline Tires with this big roley poley ghost like figure that was "Tough, but oh so gentle." you are not big and rolly polly, nor are you ghostlike; but you are just so very tough and oh so gentle. It is really wonderful how you are showing your tough side in such an oh so thoughtful and gentle way.

    If i were 30 years younger, I would be having your David's problem right now. actually, it is more likely it would already have happened half way thru you post. I repeat myself here in my admiration of your wonderful imagination. your David is so fortunate.

    1. Hmmmm... nice try, but despite your excuses, there is NO situation where you want to compare 'big roley poley' to any woman ;-)

      But I forgive you, and thank you for your attempt at a compliment!

  2. I feel like your a dream.....where does one find such a perfect woman as yourself? Your husband is a lucky boy!

    1. His dream may turn into a little nightmare when I put him through his training in front of Sue. Ha Ha!

  3. Maybe when you aren't dreaming up some new game to play with david you could write about your feelings when you first spanked him. I think it's interesting when a woman discovers she likes domination. Bill

    1. Nothing complicated for me there. He asked, and my attitude was "sure!". He thought it would be this huge deal that "his big secret" was finally exposed to me. I thought it would be fun, and in fact that first time I spanked him (with a hairbrush he brought me) I loved it. I got off on the power! Have not looked back. Will definitely devote a post to that. Thank you for asking! And here I thought all you boys were interested in was my next adventure!

  4. I hope david finds a way to deal with his problem. I find it sad that you are not a happy lady. He needs to work hard to make you happy.

    1. No worries, suffie. I am happy as a peach! I actually don't care about his staying power. In fact, I like that he cums whenever I want him to. I know he cares about it a lot, though, and is very sensitive about it, and so I am making myself immensely happy exploiting his vulnerability for my own twisted power reasons. besides, he needs to get over it, and I'm helping him.

  5. Funny, my wife is going the other route. I last much longer than she and she said if she could figure out how, would love for me to cum right when i enter her or with only a stroke or two. I told her if it could actually be done, my tool would be of little use, and all i got was a smile.
    How often do you have David wearing his girlie clothes? My wife has also requested i wear panties to bed everynight, without being told to.

    Submissive Husband

    1. Yes, as I mentioned before, it is fun for me that I can make him cum whenever I want. I think I would prefer that, generally speaking. It's a rush that I control his ejaculation so completely.

      Ever since the patio cleaning I have not had him dressed girlie. For his premie training I am definitely going to want to have him completely nude, so not then. But next time I have him clean the bathrooms I'll definitely put him in lingerie. I like a sexy bitch cleaning.

  6. Julie,

    You are such an awesome wife! David and I (Marc) are both blessed to have a wife who "gets him" and his needs. Truth be told, he needs help with this issue and you are helping him even though vanilla people would never understand your method of doing so. That's okay - vanilla people wouldn't understand how Cleo has helped me either. Just do what you need to do - or want to do!

    I want to think that Sue will play along, given the context of things.

    We just want you to know we are in your corner rooting for you and anxiously waiting for the next chapter.

    Marc and Cleo

    1. I think Sue will go along. As far as I recall she never explicitly said no ejaculation, just no sex, and if he does ejaculate during training, it will be against our strictest instructions and he will suffer for it. Besides, I think it is the sort of thing she will enjoy. She has so far enjoyed it every time I up the humiliation factor on david.

      But you are wrong on one point, marc. While I might help him with his problem as a side-effect, my main purpose is to give him a balls deep mind fucking!

    2. I see where you are going with this. At least in this case it is a side-effect that should prove beneficial to both of you. Sometimes "unintended consequences" can be a good thing!

    3. In this case, it would be nice...

  7. Julie,

    Glad that you are still happy. There are however many men out there who don't have such problems. They might make you even happier ;)


    1. Are you volunteering, David?

    2. Well, now that you mention it....


      Not that you're doing a bad job with your david...on the contrary. However, the presence of an Alpha Male might enhance things.

      And make you happier :)


    3. Only room for one Alpha under my roof, David, I'm afraid, and it's an Alpha Female. A nice studley fuck toy might be nice, but he needs to come house trained...

  8. I was going to recommend that you tell David to go to a tshirt shop and have them make one that reads "I'm a selfish premature ejactulator". Then when he fails to satisfy you can send him to the store in it. But you may have ruled that out. Hope sue agrees to you plan. craig

    1. Embarrassing T-shirts - I like where this is going! The one you suggest is a little too obvious for my taste, however. I was thinking just a slightly more version of those "She's the Boss" T-shirts. Maybe a "If she wears the pants in the family, where does that leave me????" or "I bend over for attractive women". Ha Ha Ha! I am thinking of getting Photoshop out and making up a few of these tees for a post. Thank you for the inspiration!

    2. Plenty like that on line.

    3. I did a quick Google search and found you are correct, however most of them are too obvious for my taste. I would like one that is more subtle, that could mean more than one thing. Do you know where any of those may be lurking?

  9. Julie,

    Having gone through the same thing David is going through I can sympathize with him. One big help for was, many years ago a very experienced lady told me that 90% of my sex organ was in my head, and that if I forced my brain to think of other things while having sex I could last longer. It was very difficult, but it worked, after a lot of practice. I have raced cars for many years, so I would force my brain to think of what the race car needed as we were having sex, then when things got really hot I would return my thinking to present happenings.


  10. You’re clearly a very attractive and immensely exciting woman, but that’s still no reason why you should tolerate behavior like this. Premature ejaculation is usually due to a history of excessive masturbation – the need to be quiet and, unfortunately, quick – but often subsides in marriage, assuming that the frequent and secret masturbation stops. It’s about as acceptable as bed-wetting and almost equally immature. Along with your supervised training, you might also witness his own masturbatory techniques (including any porn or other stimulus used) to see if it gives you any clues to its continued causes, if you don’t already. No doubt someone who can come so quickly can provide self-satisfaction the instant you blink!

    If you have access to a hypnotherapist, they might be able to help, even to the point that he would instantly but only get hard on one command and ejaculate on a second. Much more convenient, though it sounds like it only takes a whispered threat even now.

    Something you may want to consider is that when he’s not saying his times-tables, he is most likely mentally pursuing a “go-to” fantasy or fetish. It may be a feature you don’t possess (shaved, ridiculously abundant, or red pubic hair, six toes, or beachball-sized breasts) or activities he hasn’t revealed (like, previously, being whipped on his anus, or age play, sodomized with a hairbrush handle, etc.) or further witnesses you haven’t considered (that girl from that one TV show). He may feel that revealing these would hurt your feelings in addition to meriting the most severe of punishments (though your tawsings sound pretty severe already). Perhaps punishing him first – or half – and then letting him reveal something would help, if you were able to reassure him – truthfully – about your feelings being able to stand it. Still, he’s pursuing his own pleasure in his head while sacrificing your own, so there’s no reason to hold back. Genital “play” may be a more suitable approach, under the circumstances.

    Also, if you want an alternative to clamping the base of his cock, pushing his scrotum back between his legs is frequently more effective. Sounds like it might be worth a try.

    As far as Sue, you are way beyond naughty – you are deliciously and terrifyingly evil! You really must make david take you out to dinner where you can broach your proposition with a glass or two of wine! Expressing concern about helping his progress along (especially since he “can’t” ejaculate in front of her) while secretly being the uber-bitch!

    1. I like your thinking, john. He does spend an awful lot of time looking at Internet porn, and that is no doubt a contributing cause. I think Sue should hear all about that activity while we are training him.

      I love our suggestion of how to broach it to him. I amy well arrange that! Thank you.

  11. "Premature ejaculation is usually due to a history of excessive masturbation – the need to be quiet and, unfortunately, quick –"

    Sorry but I must respectfully disagree. While I have never been quick on the trigger frequent masturbation as a teenager actually helped me to learn how to extend the experience. I was able to practice and experiment with ways to last longer and longer. The key was just being patient and stopping before the big event...wait...wait...then start up again until I could feel it welling up again...stop...wait...start again. Finally I would allow myself to experience the reward. KABOOM! A huge explosive orgasm would follow. It was well worth the extra "work" - instead of feeling great while stroking for a few minutes, I felt great while stroking for a lot longer - and the orgasms were far more intense. It was a great trade-off. But it was masturbation that helped me to learn how to control my dick instead of letting my dick control me. My .02 worth.

    When it comes to intercourse, I love being inside my wife so much why would I want to rush to the finish line? The longer it takes the better (up to a point, anyway - LOL). It's too special.

    I feel badly for men with this problem. No doubt Julie will have LOTS of fun training him.

    1. In your case I am sure that is true, marc, however with david's Internet masturbation I sincerely doubt it has anything at all to do with him learning better self-control!

  12. This is a great scenario and will certainly add to david's humiliation. My Wife has also used t-shirts with me. Sometimes i am required to wear one in public that has just "PW" on it. She also had a pink t-shirt and matching nylon panties made for me. They both say "pussy whipped" on them and She uses them to discipline me in the presence of Her girlfriends. If david is successful with this training (doubtful) he could be "rewarded" with a facesitting of a prescribed duration.

    1. Perhaps "P.E. Graduate. Class of 2012"
      Won't he have fun explaining how and why he took a "Physical Education" course.

  13. Hi Julie,
    Congratulations for your blog.

    I found it rather recently, and it happened because of one of your recent posts: “David´s Premature Ejaculation Issue.
    I read all your blog, and in a past entrie: “A Real Man” there is something else that you added today in the first training session that I find interesting:

    “As I spanked I scolded him for being a bad boy. A bad premie. Not a real man at all. Not able to use his cock properly to please a woman. That's why you're being spanked like a little boy,”…. “A real man wouldn't let his wife spank him like this. A real man would throw his woman across his knee and spank the shit out of her”

    I am a “premie” myself too and I find it is an excellent approach the one you are using with David. In my case, with my past girlfriend we didn’t know how to address my issue and everything developed in the wrong way. She was so frustrated, and demanding at the same time, and I couldn’t satisfy her at all. At the end of these two years with her I was suffering of “Performance Anxiety” not being able to hold an erection.

    I agree with your definition of “a real man” and the consequences within the relationship of “handing the pants”:
    In your post “A real man” you state “If his fondest desire is to be spanked, which I associate as a very unmanly thing, suitable for a little boy or a submissive girl, I'll treat him like a submissive girl in bed also.”…..
    “He handed his pants over to me when he first asked me to spank him, so he does not get to wear them anymore.”…… “As for my pussy, as far as I'm concerned he's not allowed to claim that anymore.”

    Now that I see it, I would have happily handed them (the pants) in my past relationship. The point is that my former girlfriend didn’t want to accept them. Once, she made the point: If she spanked me, she would have lost the respect towards “the man”. My point is that Premature Ejaculators are not “real man” in bed (independent of the outside world context where I adjust to the definition of man). Somewhere in your blog appears the comparison with bedwetters. And the “first station” to overcome any problem, has to do with acceptance and facing it considering it can be very humiliating.

    Nowadays I am in this stage. I searched for help and I started some time ago with Tantric massages that have helped me a lot improving my performance. Breathing is the main key. It is a slow process though and I believe I am in the beginning. I am also working within the psychological consequences of my “premie problem”. I hope to be able to get something of the man inside me sometime in the future, or at least be able to satisfy my next girlfriend even if she holds the pants.
    My idea for David (I recommend this one once a week) is to hire a Tantric Masseuse to go home (first time has to be a surprise for David). She should understand your context and at the same time teach David some breathing techniques. Something like Yoga will also be useful to help him Control. The part you will enjoy is that especially at the first session he won’t be able to control himself(they touch so nicely :-) so you will have the opportunity to punish him in front of a nice girl. About the punishments, in the first session I would consider that you “clean the mess” and diaper him as a baby in font of this nice girl. That will end killing the last remains of his “macho ego”.
    Good luck Julie and thanks a lot for your commitment with your blog.
    Best regards.

    1. Hello antony,

      Thank you for well-thought-out comment, and for coming to visit me here!

      Of course a man who asks his wife to spank him is less of a man. I don't understand why some people argue against that point. It seems surprisingly obvious to me, and to you as well. But it's not an insult. It's a fact. A submissive woman is also "not a real man". Nobody would argue with that!

      The same logic applies to premies such as david and yourself. Obviously less of a man in bed. Again, not an insult, a fact. A premie can have many wonderful traits about them, as does my david, and I am sure yourself as well. Being a "real man" in bed is simply not one of them. No argument possible.

      Males like that can be safely treated as the stereotypical, old-fashioned, "woman" role. Dressed accordingly, submissive in bed, spanked for bad behaviour, and subject to kitchen, laundry, and housecleaning chores as their Wife commands. I mean, if we don;t get a real man in bed, at least we can get a real old-fashioned "wife" out of it!

    2. Hello Julie,

      Following the logic of your argument:

      1st of all, I don´t feel insulted at all and I agree with you in the facts that "a man who asks his wife to spank him is less of a man" and the same goes for premies as David and myself. I am an assumed premie..)-:

      I understand that you consider "the man" as the one who is in charge independently of his or her sex.

      I believe that within sex, and a relationship has a lot to do with a"power strugle" and within the assumed roles; what can a male do if he can use his penis properly? In a traditional relationship the female expects to be dominated by the male and satisfied sexually while being dominated(kind of compensation). And a strong penis is the tool..

      So, are you getting a kind of compensation for what you are not obtaining from the male in bed by dominating David?

      As I see, you are enjoying treating David as the stereotypical, old-fashioned, "woman". Am I wrong?

      In my personal case, though I am at the present moment an inadequate man I am working to overcome my premie problem.

      I insist to rebel to the old-fashioned "wife" role.

      I want also to tell you that you haven´t considered another reason of why a male can end as the "wife" in a relationship. That is the intelligence and talent needed to tame "the man"..

      I would also kiss your feet if I were in David´s position..


    3. The word "compensation" implies I am missing out on something. At this stage in my life I actually don't desire a "real man" in the bedroom. I am definitely taking my pleasure. While his penis is not quite up to par, his tongue is very talented indeed.

      And yes, I do enjoy treating david as my wife. In the bedroom and outside of it. In the bedroom I show him what a dominating tool a penis that stays hard for a long time actually is, much to his bumhole's discomfort! Ha Ha! Outside of the bedroom he is expected to obey, and gets punished if he rebels, which includes feminine lingerie for him, corner time, childish spankings across my knee, and the strap for more serious offences.

      You say you rebel at the old-fashioned wife role. I would enjoy nothing more than taming such rebellion in a naughty husband. And if you were mine, antony, you would be kissing a lot more than just my feet! A particularly filthy part of my anatomy comes to mind...