Saturday, July 28

Real Life versus Scening

I received an anonymous comment on my last blog entry "Husband Taught His Place in front of Sister and her Girlfriend" that gave me pause, and I wanted to blog about my thoughts.


Sorry if this post won't be up to my usual standard of kink. My special apologies to my loyal follower who is playing a denial game with my blog and not allowing himself to jerk off until my next post. I have a little something something for you at the end, but it's sweet, not nasty. I give you permission to jerk off to an earlier, nastier post, just this once!

That last blog entry described the most intense scene I have played out to-date with my husband. It involved me, my sister, and her girlfriend; an enema for david (with a public "expel" - yuck!); deep-throat cocksucking lessons for him while dressed in girly clothes; a cropping from my sister and a hard strapping from me; a very public ass fucking, hard and long and humiliating; and then corner time with his fucked up asshole spread wide for us. Very intense, yes!

The commenter suggested I was making it all up, was sick to the head, that my readers were sick and how would they feel if it was a woman treated that way, and that I needed to think about the negative impact of what I was writing before putting it out there. Now I'm feeling the blog police breathing down my neck! Is this step one in getting removed? I'm surprised I've lasted this long!

Am I making it all up? Argggghhhh I hate that question!!!! It's a "when did you stop beating your wife" kind of question. Any answer you give is a bad one. I would love nothing more than give you all my address and declare next Saturday "open house". I'll have Sue and Trina there of course. Trina will be getting a spanking over Sue's knee the whole time. david will be serving cocktails in his schoolgirl outfit with a butt plug shoved up his ass. Sound like fun? Not going to happen! I have a career, as do david and Sue, and goodness knows Trina may want a bit or privacy while pulling espresso shots. For me, the only possible way I can blog about these things is if I do it pseudonymously. Besides, even after the open house, these types of people will assume that was all made up as well, and all the commenters were clever deceptions. You really can’t win at this game!

But ask yourself, is every single person who is blogging about a kinky real-life situation making it all up? How ridiculous! And how enraging to think that the only "acceptable" way to live is by some vanilla standard, and every other lifestyle described is some perverted imaginary-only fantasy indulged in by "sick" people. What a dreadful world that would be in which to live. I read other people's blogs and believe them. Maybe that's because of my situation. I know what's possible. I know how freaky people are behind closed doors. There is no limit. And even if it is a fantasy, I'm the richer for having read it and believed in it.

The vast majority of my readers tell me david is a very lucky guy. A small minority (all men) feel the need to tell me that it's all made up. I personally believe that those men have these fantasies as well (why else find and read my blog?), but sit there at home doing nothing about them, not acting on their fantasies for whatever reason, or even imagining that they possibly could, and then lashing out in jealousy and frustration at those of us who do live out our weird-ass fantasies.

Whenever my readers tell me david is a lucky guy, I counter by saying I am lucky as well. I know why men think david is lucky. There are more subby men than dommie women. I could probably snap my fingers and have ten guys bending over for a hard whipping tomorrow. You poor guys snap your fingers and nothing happens. Boo!

But you guys seemed to be wired a bit differently than us women. Wired for indiscriminate sex, sewing your seed all over hell's half-acre if you could!  So, while I'm generalising and I apologise in advance to you sensitive guys out there (pen-pal david with the nice butt I am thinking of you amongst others! Write me soon!), I think any technically proficient woman who can act out your fantasies well would meet your needs. That is why there are so many pro domme women out there (and prostitutes, by the way).

My needs are more complex. Like you men, I need a compatible play partner. But I also need somebody I can trust completely, who is my best friend, that I am head over heels in love with and he with me, that is my soul mate. Without these things, the sexy playtime is blah, and just does not do it for me. And I mean, do it for me at all.

Don’t get me wrong, we all, men and women, want what I just described. The difference is that I cannot separate my kinky play from those things, and it does nothing for me in their absence. You guys can play (and fuck, and get blow jobs, …) with any woman you find attractive, be wonderfully fulfilled sexually, and then keep looking for what I just described. That's why you need to be taken in hand! Just kidding. I think it's wonderful that you guys can do that. Sucks for us women, though, as you play us for sex with promises of love, and then leave us looking for the same for yourselves, crushing our souls in the process, don’t let it bother you, though.

So I feel I am incredibly lucky that I can play with david. Now you can see why I say that.

On to the next point, what would my readers think if it was a woman those things were being done to rather than a man? What a naive question! Some of my switchy readers would love it; some of my subby readers would leave it; and other subby male readers would imagine they were the girl. It's all fantasy playtime for Pete's sake!

I play safely and everything I do is with david's consent. He has no safeword, and we have never felt the need. We know each other well enough that I know the difference between "no" and "stop, stop, stop" by the way he says it. It shouts at me louder than a "PeachyFuzzBunnies" safeword would. If you’re new to one another, use a safeword. Sue and Trina have one (yes, that one (!), they apparently settled on it while in a drunken stupor).

He also rarely knows the scene in advance. Sometimes he knows the general outlines, sometimes not. I will scene with him completely spontaneously, sometimes when he least expects it. He loves that! I know what turns him on, and I know what turns me on (or may turn me on - I am open minded), and I only will ever scene things that I think will turn us both on. For example, I will not ask him to take a fucking in the ass from a guy, even though that would turn me on tremendously to see that. It does not (currently) turn him on, and he would not consent to it. I did set him up to take a hand job from a guy, but it was a great call, because he liked it and was surprised by that, and he was in a position to not consent to it (he could have told Michael to stop, he was not being forced at all).

After our scenes we come back out of character and discuss them. We are not "full time" that way. Most of our life is very normal. But when the time is right, and the mood hits me, look out, we are in a scene without any discussion! He could say "stop" and I would respect that. He doesn’t. He takes a deep breath, gulps nervously, and gets his ass into character! Good boy. He explicitly asked me to be spontaneous like this. He didn’t need to ask twice. If he ever wants me not to be that spontaneous, he will ask again, and I will respect that. That is our particular balance between consent (absolutely required) and acting out the fantasy of "being forced".

Did he really "consent" to having a rubber cock jammed so down his throat he gagged? Did he really "consent" to having his ass strapped so hard it seared him like a steak on the grill? Why, yes he did. Did he like those things? No he did not. Does he want me to do it again? Yes he does. Don’t even try figuring it out. I certainly can't!!! Did he "consent" to having Sue whip his balls hard with the tip of the crop? Ah, well, no, actually. I got told off for that afterwards. Sorry, baby! I owed him a bj and a "real man" cunt slamming for that, already paid in full. I am apparently responsible for Sue's behaviour during our scenes. "Strict Julie" indeed!

Here's the funny thing, though. If I unilaterally decide by myself on a scene, and spontaneously carry it out, and he invariably submits to it, then is it real life, or is it a scene? My lines are starting to blur.

Sometimes he initiates a scene. The other day he was very frustrated with our cable box not working, and him trying this and that to fix it, on top of an already rough day for him. I had come home late, had changed into baggy track pants and a T-shirt, and was sitting at the kitchen counter reading the newspaper and having a bite to eat. David taps me on the shoulder. I turn around to look at him. He is in his skirt with a red shirt tied up at his midriff, and holding a hairbrush. He said "I really need it…" I laughed and asked "and what's under here?" lifting his skirt. His black and purple panties, of course, the ones I had forced him to wear when Sue and Trina were here. I smirked a bit and looked back down at my newspaper. "Wait for me in the living room." I told him.

I finished what I was doing (no rush, mind you) and went to the living room. He was standing in his corner, his hands on top of his head. The hairbrush was in the centre of the sofa. "Come here" I told him. He settled over my lap with a sigh. I lifted his skirt, started spanking his panties with my hand, and told him off for being such a girl. He squirmed in pleasure over my knee.

I pulled his little panties up into his crack, grasping them with my fist, and spanked his naked cheeks.
I then pulled down his panties and gave him a long hard gentle caring hairbrushing.
Afterwards, he got on his knees and kissed my feet. Then he put his head in my lap like a little puppy, looked up at me with his puppy eyes, and asked if I might, well, fuck him with my strap-on? How could I resist those big puppy eyes! I took him upstairs and put him face down on the bed over a pillow. I lubed him and inserted my smaller dildo to stretch him. Then I put my strap-on harness on over my track pants with the larger dildo in it. I grabbed my crop and whipped him a bit. I like whipping the dildo which makes it jiggle up his ass and gets some delightful girly booty shakes from him. I pulled the dildo out, flipped him over so he was face up, ass still on the pillow. I then mounted him, his legs high, panties at his ankles, and gave him a slow fuck. I made sure he enjoyed this fucking. I played with his cock as I fucked his ass. He is not always hard when I fuck his ass, but he is turned on regardless.

After a bit, I pull out. I whispered to him "turn over, put your cock and balls behind your legs, I'm getting the oil."  I insert the vibrating dildo and turn it on. It slides in very easilly. He loves this position for a hand job.
He moans as I hand job his hard cock while playing with his balls and working the vibrating dildo in his freshly-fucked asshole. He cums hard all over the backs of his thighs. "Wait there" I tell him. I clean up the stuff and get a warm washcloth. I go to him and clean him all up. He thanks me over and over again. I want my pussy licked, but he is too sweet and spent, lying there. I tuck him into bed, give him a kiss, and turn out his light.

That is what our weird-ass relationship is all about.

85 comments:

  1. To every point you made in this post, one comment. "Amen."

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    1. Thanks for the support!
      And I just followed your name to your blog. Stealthy indeed, but it looks amazing!!! Prepare to be linked!

      Delete
  2. Julie,
    Your blog is amazing. Please disregard the silly commenter.
    You and david are the lucky guys; the commenter is the unlucky one.
    No doubt he’s jealous of what you’ve got.

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  3. I agree 100% with what you've written, and we enjoy your blog immensely.

    I ran into the same problems with my blog, even with videos showing my Wife and Her G/F spanking me there were doubters.

    As to an open house, anytime you have one please remember my Wife and I, we'd love to attend, LOL

    Seriously though, don't let them get to you.

    james

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    1. That's amazing. Your blog is the last one I would ever imagine could be doubted as you are so open with your videos.

      As soon as I have that open house, you and your wife will be the first I invite!

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  4. Please continue to do what you've been doing! It's been an amazing read and is easily my favourite blog to read hands down. Don't change anything. I truly wish I was in david's shoes. To have someone like you who is so open and involved all at the same time is the relationship lottery ticket imo. Obviously you feel the same about david.

    I found it very interesting to see that david is now initiating scenes at times. I still would love to see you take more control of him even if it's just for a few days at a time lol

    Anyway keep up the great work please!

    Sandy

    BTW is david's porn habits mostly hetro in nature or does it involve submissive type stuff?

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    1. Thank you for your support!

      It's funny. It's all naked women. Some of the photos clearly depict the woman as dominant, others clearly submissive, and others are just hot babes with few clothes on and an attitude. He does not linger on photos of males, either dominant or submissive.

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  5. I also enjoy reading your blog does David's sister need or want her own slave?

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    1. Sue is my sister, and she already has Trina.
      david actually does have an older sister, and divorced at that, but we have never involved her at all.

      Delete
  6. It is a real thrill to read a blog simultaneously both so extremely erotic and so extremely intelligent. Julie, I love the different levels of reality you percieve in your interactions and elucidate and share. It takes a lot of courage. You must have spent much of your life waiting for others to get you. I think, at least, some of your readers do, and they find the person in there really cool.
    Didon

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    1. Thank you. I believe I have found a real outlet in this kink and the blogging that goes with it. One reason I push to do more and more outrageous things is that the more I push, the deeper I go into things. As a small example, without pushing so hard on this last scene, I would not have gotten the negative comment, and I would not have collected my thoughts and written them down, nor had all this wonderful feedback. I learn more and more about myself in the process and feel that is very worthwhile.

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  7. Your blog is delicious to read, and your relationship is "right on"! You are both FORTUNATE to have one another!

    Thanks for the wonderful explanation nonetheless!!

    Keep on having fun as we the readers enjoy your entertaining, hot journey of self-exploration!!

    Thanks so much!

    P.S. Ignore the haters and naysayers!!!!

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    1. Will do! It's nice when something clicks like this. before david introduced me to his kink, I can honestly say the relationship was lacking something. Not anymore. I feel very complete and completed by david now.

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  8. julie, i always look forward to your posts ,keep them up . Myself im more into the spanking part f/m f/f . Dont let the few get to you ,enjoy what you have . Im a switch but i do enjoy a long OTK spanking from a lady or ladies .again keep up the good work

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    1. I must say that I enjoy the "simple" act of spanking as well. I was first introduced to this by being asked by david to put him across my knee and spank him with a hairbrush, just like a naughty little boy. That act is actually what I fell in love with.

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  9. Thank you for sharing your intimate, private lives experiences.
    It's obvious you are both deeply in love with each other.
    May you both always shall.
    You made some comments on the differences between women and men.
    I am a straight man and would like to make some personal observations.
    First of all, I like women; I think women are the better half
    of the human race (I got that line from a movie, "The Green Years"), and I am not being patronizing; e.g., who makes a house
    into a home? etc & etc.
    I've always admired how women readily bond with one another: they
    talk, hug, and even dance with each other (no questions asked).
    Men don't; they're expected to be strong, aloof, self-confident,
    and authoritive.
    Well, kid, that's a helluva thing to pull off, let alone maintain.
    I believe that's why the so-called alpha males love to let go,
    and be helpless little boys again, in the control of another,
    who makes the decisions for them, even for just for a little while.
    Hope I haven't stolen your thunder.

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    1. Not at all. Very lovely thoughts and very lovely comment. I treasure it.

      I think you are right on about the "alpha" male. david's work associates would never believe how submissive he is with me.

      As a woman, I actually admire those manly qualities you mention. I think of my Dad, for example, and my husband too. That is why I don't begrudge him his spanking, or his craving to be put into girly clothes and humiliated. So long as he is a "real man" in the real world, that is great in my books!

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  10. Turn off anonymous comments? (ironic I know, coming from an anonymous commenter!)

    Or, better yet, don't publish the scornful comments YOU judge to be so...it's your blog after all!

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    1. I would feel guilty not publishing the negative comments, feeling that if i did it would be showing them I have something to hide. But you're probably right, the stupid ones such as "I don't believe you, nyah nyah!" I should just silently drop. I won't change their minds because I won't "prove it" to them, so what's the point?

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  11. Thank you Ms. Julie.
    I guess it held me off from JOing this time... but I will be back! :)
    Sara

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    1. Excellent! Hard to do that to a "thought piece", eh?

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    2. Ha ha! :D Yes, it was... Exactly!
      Hug, Sara

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  12. Why someone with these particular beliefs would be reading your blog in the first place is hard to understand, other than being some type of "do-gooder" that does not want others to enjoy themselves (except in ways that they do).

    Bottom line, you and your husband are consenting adults. Either one of you can discontinue this type of relationship, if you choose. My husband and I have enjoyed a bdsm relationship for over 30 years; we also are both professionals that need to protect our professional reputations - because of the ignorance and discrimination we would experience from commentators such as these.

    Your blog is enjoyable and liberating. Keep it up.

    Gloria

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    1. That's what gets me the most. He must spend vast amounts of time reading my blog and others like it, and then gives a comment like that (where I have no defence as I will not prove anything to him). Just shut up, read the blog, and keep your negative thoughts to yourself!

      I'm worried some people take role-play where the subby pretends to not want something, and imagine that is somehow non-consenting. To play safely, we need to know where the lines are drawn, and it's a bit complex in a BDSM relationship, where we want to push our subbies and they want to be pushed.

      I think a lot of people have been (quite correctly) taught that "no means no" in dating situations. Perhaps people like my negative commenter are too simple-minded to understand the more complex nuances in BDSM?

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    2. It's hard to know for sure what motivates a commentator like this, but I imagine an insecure male that is only familiar with traditional male/female relationships. A Femdom relationship would be beyond his understanding.

      Gloria

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    3. Likely so. He as been shooting little comments and emails to me, and they all say 'I care not a whit whether you publish this or not', so I decided not to, of course!

      Delete
  13. I am one of the people who enjoys reading your blog. I am also envious of your youth and of your level of energy.

    One of my regrets is not learning of my husband's need for dominance until later in life. Too many people have a way of hiding parts of themselves from the rest of the world, even from those who love them. How many men would love to wear a pretty little skirt for their wives, but will never have the oportunity
    to do so.

    The simple truth is that we are all sexual creatures of some type or another. A male who kneels at the feet of his wife, or who accepts a spanking from her hand is not being kinky, but only expressing a God given need.

    My husband loves to crawl on a leash by my side. Would denying him that privledge make us better human being. I have learned to enjoy having the power to make my husband drop to the floor upon the snap of my fingers. You might be suprised how attnetive this tends to make a man, and yes I like a man to be very, very attentive.

    While I have not taken the step of 'showing off' John to family members, he has been shown off to girl friends who are also in the life style. And yes, I have learned to take pride in having a man who is well trained as well as obedient.

    Most of us don't play enough. This is especailly true as we get older. Playing with your man is a way of keeping the romance alive. Disciplining your man is a way of showing him that you love him. Some times it feels good just to have your guy do silly things and laugh at him.

    There are times when I wish that my daughter was a little less serious about life, and more open to enjoying the pleasures of just being a woman.

    Love, Kathy

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    1. Right on, Kathy!

      I don't like to read in my e-mails how some men are married to women who won't "cater" to their kink. I'm a little angry at those women, actually. It's such a small thing, why make such a big deal. I guess they are dealing with their own insecurities...

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  14. Your blog is my personal definition of REAL freedom of mind.

    On a sidenote, I enjoy very much the way you write. And I noticed this again on the last comments you left on my blog: you have the EXACT humour and same way of writing as a friend of mine who lives in Florida. A pretty soccer mom by all appearances. Since she shares this wicked humour with you, could it be that her life behind closed doors is totally opposite to what she shows to her friends? Naah... too disturbing for me to picture this! : /

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    1. I have another sister in Florida, do I? Terrific!

      And thank you very much for the nice compliments. I see your recent output has gone up on your blog. I hope I am inspiring you at least a little! I love your stuff!

      Delete
  15. Well said Julie. I didn't take time to read the comments on the last blog yet but definitely will tommorow. Just would like to say the person sounds like a real jerk. Speaking personally I love your blog and am happy to know there are women like you out there to make their mens dreams come true. You gave me the courage to step up and take responsibility that I only dreamed about for years. Without you I would never have made contact with my old classmate. So don't get down on yourself because someone else has a problem and needs to get a life. Keep up the great work and blogs for the other 99.9% of us that truly admire what you do
    Bob S.

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    1. Tomorrow is the big day, isn't it? For all you readers, bob has taken it upon himself to contact an old classmate he had a crush on and ask her to spank him in panties. She seems to have taken the bait! Can't wait to hear what happens!

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    2. Yes Julie, tommorow is the big day. I am a nervous wreck. I know I deserve it but just wonder how bad it is going to be.
      Bob S.

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  16. I don't know how anyone would even question the truthfulness of your blog. I have had sub fantasies since the early 60's when I was in grade school. All the teachers were female and corporal punishment was still allowed. I saw many a boy get spanked or paddled by a female teacher. It was a turn-on for me even at such a young age and I so much wanted to be on the receiving end of that discipline (especially if it was in front of the whole class). Unfortunately, I was never in trouble and never got to receive a spanking in school. In the 7th grade I became aware of the girls allowing boys to look up their skirts. I developed a huge pantyhose fetish from getting beaver shots. I developed great fantasies about being punished for looking up skirts either by the teacher or the girl herself. Sometimes the fantasy would be a spanking by the teacher in front of the offended girl. I used to write out these little scenarios and jerk off while I read them. Maybe those were a primitive blog. I guess I knew I was "pussy-whipped" and wanted a girl to call me that. My writings included spanking, worshiping a pantyhosed pussy and ass and facesitting. This goes back to 1965 when I was 13 years old. Fortunately I married a woman who was into exploring my kinks and dominates and humiliates me on a regular basis. There is no greater turn-on than dressing in a plaid skirt, pantyhose and panties, heels, etc. and being publicly spanked by me wife in front of her girlfriends. She lets them participate as well. I have become a good cock sucker (on her strap-on) and have learned to routinely take the strap-on up the ass. She promises me I am close to sucking a real cock and getting a real butt-fucking. I have no male underwear - only "training panties" as she calls them. I constantly look forward to new ways to be punished and humiliated. I hope I have given you more reassurance that what you are doing is very real and so many of us crave and live this lifestyle. Keep up the great work!

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    1. I know! If you kindle that magic of having a woman "into it" as I and your wife are, and couple that with a loving, trusting man who is also "into it", the sky's the limit. Why stop at a simple spanking? That seems absurd. the nature of our kink is to escalate things, to always push to the next thing. It is SOOO much fun to get other women that you trust involved with humiliating your boy. It's a bond in all directions, which is always beautiful.

      Delete
    2. I attended a private coed high school. If you were sent to the headmistress a spanking would follow. She had a room off her office with a glass panel. When you entered she had you take off your pants or skirt by leave underpants/panties on. You stayed that way until she was ready and were bent across a table. It held four people. If more came in they sat behind you waiting their turn. Anybody coming into the office could see you through the glass panel. When she and her assistant arrived, the headmistress began your spanking with a yardstick. You couldn't see each other but you heard the sparks, moans and sobs. If you had been in her office more than three times a quarter, you had to pull your own underpants/panties down to your knees and bend over again. Those waiting behind you saw everything.

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  17. Forget all the haters, they will never understand and the person who wrote those pathetic comments is just jealous he doesn't have a Goddess like Yourself in his pathetic life!

    Cheers!



    Mr. Beth

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    1. Harsh words, Mr. Beth! Harsh, but true...

      Delete
  18. Ms. Julie, I don't think I've ever seen a femdom blog that showed any life that didn't in short order attract a negative response based around either "you're not really doing this" or "how can you do this, you terrible person".
    As you note, if you either don't believe it's true, or you object to it, why are you here reading it?
    I enjoy your adventures and do believe they are true and more widespread than most would care to accept. You are all having fun, you are all adults, and no one need be the wiser.I've been married 40 years and have spent at least 35 of them trying to get my wife to indulge in half of what you have done. I think the times have really changed and woman have too. I think I was way ahead of the curve.
    Keep up the great work.

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    1. Why indeed are they reading it?
      If I happen across a blog I don't like, I click onwards, and don't give it a moment's thought.
      Curious.

      I agree with you 1000% that the times they are a changing. I am meeting so many woman who are tickled pink at the idea of dominating a man it's not funny. I would have playmates galore if I wanted them.

      My sister wanted a relationship with a subby female. She went online and found a bunch in very short order. Mind you, she is super attractive, so I guess that does not hurt!

      Delete
  19. An excellent and thoughtful post, Julie. How unfortunate and sad that someone felt the need to comment on your lifestyle in such a negative way. It seems pretty clear from the comments above and in response to other posts that you have a number of folks who appreciate and welcome your accounts (I know I look forward to them) as well as understand how fortunate you and your husband are to have found each other. Thanks for sharing a small, but incredibly intimate piece of your lifestyle with us. No one knows what goes on in your private life unless you're leaving the drapes open. It's eye opening to read accounts such as yours (and others with similar blogs). Thanks for a wonderful blog.
    Rob

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    1. I feel the same way reading others' blogs. It has given me "the permission" to take it further than I otherwise would have.

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  20. you didnt owe us a reply or affirmation. it is great what your doing and most of us fully understand the need for anonimity. im really looking forward to how hollywood screenplays shades of grey. up until now noone has taken up the subject of dominance and submission in the main stream without making it humorous and not taking it seriously, essentially doing it a grave injustice.

    keep up the good work and i will opine on my own relationship in an effort to increase our discoveries down this forbidden path.

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    1. I know, but I want to put my little fists up and take a pathetic ineffective swing at the guy, while I stifle back tears.

      I have not yet read "shades". Everybody has told me I must. I understand there is a >girl< on the bottom??? What wierdo freaks, eh?

      Actually, Nine and a Half Weeks wasn't so bad... Even though it was a girl on the bottom. I got to learn a thing or two on how to be a domme by watching it!

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  21. I am envious of David. I wish my wife would do the things to me that you do to David. Do I want you or anyone else to do them. Not really. Part of it is I feel a building of connection.

    Consent is one of those flavour of the month politically correct topics. It seems in the vanilla world that in the middle of consentual sex when a man has penetrated a woman with her encouragement that she can say "no" and from then on it's rape and she takes him to court and wins. Now I have to agree that in the context of FLM, having my wife say "No" just as I am about to cum is utterly fantastic. What I am trying to say is though that to me "consent" is big picture stuff. I would not want the option to say "no" in the middle of some activity. I want her to be in control. Total control. I want her to hurt me / challenge me. Are there limits - yes of course. Perminant damage and being ignored but actually I want my trust and love in her to be so total and complete that I do not need to worry. I do need to endure and see if I can come through. Stronger. More loving and more loved.

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    1. I think the notion of consent is most important on those first dates. Where if a man is indeed with a woman for the first time, then even if she does say "no" in the middle of it, he better damned well pull out, and fast!

      In a new BDSM relationship, I would think it would be so important to have a safe word, so that the sub can play at saying "no" all he/she wants, but the real "no" is the safe word.

      In a long-term relationship built on trust, and where BDSM is involved, consent is a much trickier subject. david may not say no to me. On the other hand, as his wife I will not put him into a situation where him saying no is best for him. Complicated!

      Delete
  22. Mistress Julie,

    I think what the commenter was picking up on is the same thing I do. He just came to a different conclusion then I did. When I read your blog, the account is anomalous from the experiences I read on other blogs. However, different is good. Every mistress is a different woman. This differences is something I enjoy embracing, as it helps me appreciate those unique qualities in my own mistress/wife.

    Take care. Thx for the post.

    Sincerely,

    -SH

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  23. anne rice wrote a great novel called exit to eden about a guy that goes to an island run by woman. it was a delicious read, actually when i read it on an express bus going into manhattan a girl actually commented on my choice of novels and it got me laid :). however my point here is that it was made into a movie with rosie odonnell of all people and it was totally horrible.

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    1. Nice! Did it get you spanked as well?

      I love Anne Rice and have read all her stuff (including the Beauty Trilogy), but have always passed over Exit to Eden because the movie was so bad. I will have to go back and read it.

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  24. Ms. Julie

    I can not imagine how hard it is for you to figure out all the comments you get and who is real and who is not. You are amazing to me, forget anyone else, you have a true love and partnership with your husband and you take him places he truly loves; like many of us would love. I cherish the first part of this blog, it is you raw and real, the same way you are with your partner. Amazing is the only word. I think you feel some jealousy from the comments as many of us would love to be there but you again are amazing. I love this commentary and thank you for sharing with us your feelings. I know what you are about and you have an amazing marriage, good luck and keep making him happy as no doubt he makes you happy.

    Now oh my, what a sexy ending, otk, hairbrush spanking, my first love and wow what an amazing ending. Yes ma'am this is what your relationship is all about; keep it going. Yes you are lucky to have him but wow, he is sure lucky to have you to spank him this way, this was a hot hot ending. You know I love otk spanking.

    Amazing lady, thank you for being an inspiration to us all.

    Always
    Ron

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    1. Yes you do love a nice domestic scene, don't you ron? I've had somebody else tell me the same thing recently, and it made me realize, so do I. I think I want to get more back to basics with david. There is a dead tree branch that has needed to be taken down for months now. He gets one more reminder from me tonight, and if he's not on it on Saturday, he'll be cutting me a switch from that tree!

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    2. Ouch but that is hot...making him find a nice switch but yes ma'am as wildly erotic the scenes are, the spanking you gave him was just so grounding and well lovely from all sides.
      WOnderful

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    3. I switched him good! See my next post!

      Delete
  25. Ah and sorry, nice panty spanking to start, amazing. You are the best

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    1. Oh man, yes ma'am, it is as sexy as hell especially if my panty bottom has been well spanked first, it is an amazing feeling and David is so right....it brings all the senses togther while getting a bare bottom spanking, espcially if the panty is a nice nylon, very hot.
      Always
      Ron

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    2. I enjoy the feeling of dominance. He always sticks his bum up nice and high when I wedgie him like that, practcally begging for his next spank.

      Delete
    3. So do I ma'am, it is an amazing feeling and I so love the way you vary your spankings of your wonderful man, very hot.

      Delete
    4. Mmmmmm.... wedgie spanking....

      Delete
    5. I love how you described being a caring brushing, that is what otk spanking is all about ma'am.

      Delete
  26. Sorry I'm late to this post, Julie. And what an excellent post - a passionate articulation of the most natural and most complex things in the world: human love and desire.

    I can only echo the amazement of commenters that anyone could accuse you of all people of fabricating the accounts on your blog. I personally get people asking if I'm really a woman*, but never yet anyone questioning the veracity of a spanking I've written about. I mean, fuck! Why would anyone spend their valuable time doing that? Is there a brownie point system I wasn't told about? Do we get prizes?

    I think commenters above are on the right lines by questioning your anonymous friend's motivations: some people just do have narrow minds and so they can't understand things that fall outside their own parameters (i.e. a lot of things). Add in some projection and you get people who i) can't believe that others do things just for the love of it, and ii) can't resist the urge to publicly register their disapproval about things that are none of their concern. Your writing is, as you state, an outlet: your blog is an exploration (and celebration) of life, love and sexuality that others are kindly invited to share. What could be more positive than that?

    Not that you need me to say so, but you're quite right to disregard any 'haters'. We only get one life, and there's no point wasting it trying to please the narrow-minded. We should love, simple as that: kink is simply an expression of love.

    *I'm actually a team of writers and SEO experts.

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    1. I never realized you are a team of writers, Penny, and "Search Engine Optimization" experts to boot (I had to google that!). Ha Ha!

      I think it's the 'sitch with Sue and Trina that is straining my credibility with the guy. Three women??? Impossible!!!

      I did enjoy sorting out my feelings about the comment, though, so thank you for that, negative 'fella!

      Delete
  27. Just to say love the freedom, creativity and eroticism of your blog. It is exciting and inspiring. Thanks for sharing it.

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    1. My pleasure! Thank you for the kind compliment! I shall kip it (and him ;-) up!

      Delete
  28. OK, first, I can't even begin to describe the tummy-flipping thrill you gave me by mentioning my little denial game, so thank you very much.

    Second, thank you for giving me permission to use an earlier post for my pleasure, but honestly this post was really excellent. I absolutely loved the description of how your relationship flows, the normal times punctuated by these intense exchanges of love, lust, and pure fun.

    Third, I just want you to know there is a guy out there somewhere (me) who is so achingly horny right now. I'm regretting my decision (a delicious, subby, bittersweet kind of regret ) to tie my chance at relief to your new posts but I'm determined to hang in there. My days are filled with sexual daydreams, I'm a little bit of a wreck at work. So much anticipation when I check for a new post. Lots of edging at night and thinking of you!

    Thank you, Miss! Please post soon!!!!

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  29. Julie,

    I've been a lurker on this great blog for a while but felt compelled to address the issue of this type of relationship being fake. I am a sub (or as Sir likes to say a pussy). I see similarities between David and I though for me this has been going on 22 years this month. To the outside community my wife and I are successful professionals yet in this realm of sexual identity we are a submissive couple to a man we worship yet in the eyes of the community he is a laborer with simply a high school degree. Originally that was my view of him. I the successful businessman with a MBA and "Sir" a employee doing renovations in the home of a newly married couple.I won't bore you with the specifics but needless to say We have endured many hours of humiliation/excitement in the privacy of our home and while away on vacations (Your vacation story really stuck a chord). Like you he is considerate to our limitations due to our positions in the community yet he has on occasion allowed others observe/participate us in situations that make me blush.(I too am a panty wearer)
    Continue the great writing as I will be following it.

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    1. That sounds very fun and kinky! I would love to hear more. Do you ever have to, well, bend over, like a woman I mean, for him?

      Delete
  30. i absolutely love wedgie spankings. my wife does that to me all the time. last month she made me go into lane bryant and buy myself the biggest panties they have, 5 totally girlie pairs. the sales girl came over and asked if i needed assistance showed me where the large sizes were. when she checked me out she told me to keep the receipt in case whoever i was buying them for would need to return them. i about soiled myself as she probably knew damn well who they were for. when i came home my wife made me model them and giggled hysterical. the reason for the large size is we have a chair at the foot of the bed. she will make me put on a pair and hang myself off the back of the chair by the panties. she then lounges on the bed with her feet in front of my face and i must worship them while she watches t.v. when she feels her feet are fully attended too she will slide down to the edge where i must service her. most times she likes to attach a rope around my balls so she can pull them forward which usually makes the wedgie tighter up my ass. there have been cases where the panties are so tight against my cock that by pulling them consistently she can make me cum without touching me. in any event i love wedgies as part of play and they are something you donot often see across the blogs.

    love your blog very much. please keep it up.

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    1. A fellow wedgie afficionado! I should have known I was a domme when I saw a boy given a "sand wedgie" by his "friends" in the playground when I was in grade 7. I kept my pleasure to myself, but I was unusually pleased having seen that. His white underwear was up around his armpits, the poor boy, and that was after those mean boys dropped a handfull of sand down the back of his undies.

      Delete
  31. It's good to read what people think of your blog, but no matter what you do, this is the internet and people can be jerks. I think it's great that you have this type of relationship, my girlfriend and I have one very similar (albeit not as extreme (yet!)). If you're not engaged in this type of relationship than it is hard to imagine, but it certainly does exist! I bet if I told my friends about what we do they wouldn't believe it.

    So moral of my post is you have a great blog and a great, loving relationship that I'm sure lots of readers are envious of. Keep on doing what you're doing because you do it fantastically.

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    1. Thank you very much!

      I would love to hear more about your relationship and how far you're girlfriend has taken you.

      Delete
  32. as long as its consensual between the adult parties involved who cares what others think. Submitting to your partner in my opinion totally intensifies the relationship. for that matter having a relationship where your not afraid to tell the other person your wants and desires is probably more of what is needed in the world today.

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    1. Very true. And the 'consensual' part especially. But calling what david does 'consensual' does not even begin to cover it. Not only does he consent to it, he begs me for it, what a bad boy!

      Delete
  33. Ms Julie,

    We are all consenting adults here and I guess here, just like in the other world their are folks who seem more interesting in tearing down rather than building. I for one know that I am receiving valuable information about this lifestyle and would hate to lose this resource. Let the naysayers fall by the wayside.

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    1. Thank you jakey!
      I think I fall at one extreme of the kink-train, though!

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
  34. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. My pleasure dan. Thank you for commenting.

      Delete
  35. VS here.

    I commented on your previous post before reading this one. I now have a better picture of your D/s relationship.

    Over ten years ago I approached my wife about BDSM role play. She wore leather and used a crop on me (reluctantly). She said she could never understand how a man could take punishment from a woman unless she loved him. Your distinction between the sexes and their approach to kink is spot-on.

    Victoria said she was uncomfortable with the role play and we stopped. I've put the kink back in the closet but enjoy reading your ( and Dianne's and Ivey's) blog.

    Carry on and remember: Illegitimati non Carborundum.

    Viktor Strelnikov

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    1. The bastards shall never grind me down!
      Go get your kink elsewhere, viktor.

      Delete
  36. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on what you are hearing as feedback. I am slowly catching up with all your blog entries and so far it has been interesting, scary and exciting.
    I am glad to see the 2 of you have worked out your limits so far and the fact you have taken to it so well is amazing.
    I will admit a lot of what you have done is a little and sometimes a LOT farther than what i would like to experience with my wife but it is fun to read about and imagine if I could do it in real life.
    Good Luck in the future and since it looks like you are still sharing, please continue.

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    1. The point is to understand what is "too far" for your partner and not go there. A tiny little but beyond the line is good. Too far beyond the line is not. Each time you go a little over the line, the line seems to move a bit, for the both of you. That's how you get to where we are! Sigh...

      Delete
  37. In the words of the Camp North Star camp from the movie:Meatballs, "It just doesn't matter!" In my heart and mind, you are who you say you are and do what you say you do. As someone with some experience, it just rings true. But if I'm wrong, does it matter? No! You provide amazing, erotic, free content. Am I someday going to meet you and find out who you are for certain? Highly, highly unlikely. So accept it at face value, or don't. But quit trying to ruin the party. . It's fun, stimulating and exciting. Thank you! My bottom, balls, penis, and BRAIN appreciates you very much!

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