Wednesday, December 11

The Importance of the Strap-On Dildo to a Marriage

I consider the strap-on dildo to be an essential tool (pardon the pun) amongst any dominant wife's belongings.


We have all been genetically shaped and then nurtured to the traditional sex role models where the male is dominant and the female is considered submissive. Not even david and I can completely escape it, because those images and ideas are so culturally pervasive. So instead of escaping it, I use it. If the female is supposed to be submissive, rather than fighting that I make david assume the female role, and I the male role.

It starts with feminine lingerie such as panties, bras, stockings, and garters. I force david into those sorts of garments.


He is made to look ridiculous, but inescapably "the female" despite himself.


I myself tend to dress in a fairly conservative, business-like manner (it's what a woman needs to do to be taken seriously in business).


The mixture of me in my work clothes and david in his frillies uses those traditional sex role stereotypes to my advantage when dominating him.

It continues with his spankings. He must come across my knee, and I make sure he is hoisted into a very sexually submissive posture.


Also, I insist on vocalisations from him when it starts hurting. He is not allowed the dignity of the "male" stoicism when being spanked.

When he is in his frillies, and when he is being spanked, I refer to him in female terms. I remind him that he is carrying on like a little girl, for instance. Or if I see an erection, I tell him what a little slut he is.


This has the effect of using all those millenia of evolution and a lifetime of cultural programming as an aid in dominating him, whereas one might have thought it would be a disadvantage.

The effects are even more profound when there is a second woman there, such as my sister, to witness him and laugh at him in all his "femaleness".


While this "panty training" or "petticoating" is very effective, nothing beats the strap-on dildo to mess with those sex-role stereotypes and turn a hulking man into a very afraid little girl!


There is little better for reversing roles than making your husband  kneel at your feet, take a large lifelike dildo into his mouth, and perform oral sex on it, the deeper the better, with a hand on the back of his head for encouragement.


The only thing better is to flip him over, put his submissive pantied ass high in the air, rip off his panties, and force him to receive anal sex from the strap-on dildo.


As with other women, I will refer to his asshole as his pussy, and his penis as his clit, as in "reach behind and spread your pussy lips for me you little slut". Or, "do you like your little clitty rubbed as I fuck you, huh?" Or, "I'm going to pound this naughty little pussy so hard you won't be walking right for a week, bitch!"


I say things like that to reinforce that he is "the female" and I "the male" according to the traditional sex role stereotypes. That way I have all the evolution and all that cultural conditioning on my side, where it belongs.


57 comments:

  1. I agree. In my case another small but handy implement is a rubber pacifier. My subbie tends to wail and weep rather loudly after a severe discipline session. I slip the nipple into his mouth and reduce the decibel to mere whimper and sniffles. I keep one in my handbag and have warned him that next time I hear any backchat or smart ass comments from him in public, I will insert it in his mouth for everyone to see. Now he has learned to think well before opening his mouth. I still intend to surprise him at home in the presence of my sister or neighbour. I can imagine his face when I make him suck his rubber nipple in front of them. Luv. Aasha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh that would be fantastic! I can only imagine the little tear in his eye as that pacifier comes out in front of the neighbour. Ha Ha!

      Delete
  2. wow!! and the fact that the male is often getting sexually excited about being feminised, abused and demeaned adds to the humiliation!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That definitely adds to my fun. I call her a little slut whenever I see that erection poking up!

      Delete
  3. Julie,

    I have to give you all the credit for giving me this idea. If you remember it was the punishment you decided on for bob back in the beginning.

    It was a first for me as well but certainly wasn't the last. And your right it definitely gets a males attention.

    Dianne

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not to co-op Julie's blog with a question for Dianne (but she did comment here...): Dianne, you've also received sexual pleasure from pegging Bob...do you continue to peg him purely for the reason to get yourself off (i.e. an exclusively sexual pegging), or do you only peg Bob (and perhaps get off) when punishing Bob for some infraction (i.e. a disciplinary pegging)?

      Delete
    2. Anon,

      Ive done some sexual pegging a couple of times if the mood strikes me. He doesn't enjoy it very much so I mainly reserve it for punishment.

      Delete
    3. For me, I don't ever orgasm when I'm fucking him, but it does feel nice down there and it does get me very well worked up. After I've fucked him hard and long, then I make him eat me out and then I cum. I feel really dominant during that, so I cum quickly!

      Delete
    4. The harness I have has a little button vibrator that goes in it so that is what does it for me. That's probably the reason he doesn't like it as well as far as a sensual pegging. Because once I start getting worked up gentle and slow usually goes to hard and deep so I can grind that vibrator against me. That takes any fun out for him plus he's so homophobic.

      Delete
    5. Ha ha! That's funny... He has to keep taking it until you are 'satisfied'. Poor boy!

      Delete
  4. Wow... It's hard to be anything but submissive in a pair of panties. And you... with that menacing "tool" would make anyone tremble, especially when your own pales in comparison. I would be putty in your hands...
    You bring new meaning to the term "butterfly effect" .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I think it's important for my cock to be just a little bigger than his own. Establishes the pecking order!

      Delete
  5. A few months ago, we purchased a rather funny looking "share" double dildo - it took a bit of experimenting to get workable body positions right, but Irene did have a very nice orgasm (is there any other kind?) while violating and humiliating me.

    Best,

    Rosco

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Does not sound comfortable to me. I like thrusting... HARD! But I guess I should give it a try...

      Delete
    2. The three most popular models are the Feeldoe, the Fun Factory Share and the Happy Valley Tango. Feeldoe & Tango have a vibrator, Feeldoe is (to some) very rigid/unforgiving, the Share is described as somewhat 'floppy', and the Tang (again, to some) is a happy medium between the three.

      Delete
    3. Sounds like you've done your (hands on?) research!

      Delete
  6. I`m sure there are many submissive men that agree with those roles. When I`m all sissied up in my finest lingerie for my wife......it is soooo deliciously humiliating . I don`t want the dominant lead .....I relish the submissive role. The only thing I would change is to have her want me dressed full time at home......well maybe also have her dominate me in front of others.
    I would love to be a full time submissive sissy wife and never have to make any decisions as the man. I can`t explain it but the feelings I get when I`m being dominated feel natural. I like when she is the man of the house.
    I`m the one that asked for punishment in the beginning and she was just a bit shocked. When I told her I needed to dress for her.....she was blown away. I guess even though I have a girlish figure ....she never thought I`d want to be dressed like one.
    It was many years ago that she first took me with her strapon ......the strapon that I had to purchase at the local ABS . I can`t seem to get my fill of the spanking, strapping ,paddling, and ass fucking she can dish out.....even when it brings tears to my eyes.
    My ideal love making session .....is wearing gartered stockings with a baby doll nighty. Her in jeans & a shirt that shows who`s the boss. I`m placed in the doggy position with my deep Red Disciplined cheeks in the air for her taking .Tears running down my face as she fucks me like I deserve .....me promising her I`ll be a good girl while that big dildo slides straight up my sissy fanny. I never tire of being her naughty little " Sissy Ass Whore ".... that`s her title for me and am often referred to as such. I will always want to be the in the " woman`s roll " in our marriage.....I think in her eyes she will never see me as anything but !
    I don`t care what society thinks....but unfortunately she does.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is a very exciting description! I will keep my fingers crossed that your wife will invite another woman to see your humiliation. Imagine having to be ass fucked in front of another woman!

      Delete
    2. Yes I do imagine it.......all the time. I can imagine the degree of humiliation would be unbelievable....but don`t care. I just want it badly & would submit no matter how many were watching . I`m sure I would be very scared and have second thoughts at the time..... but wouldn`t try to stop it . It is what I truly need .....that and a man dominating me. Wow , it`s getting hot in here !

      Delete
    3. Clearly you need cock up the ass in a bad bad way. I sincerely hope your wife lets you have it!

      Delete
    4. mmmmmmeeeee too.........thank you !

      Delete
  7. That does seem rather large, I'm guessing that to be about twice his size?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not twice as large (circumference-wise). But noticeably larger.

      Delete
    2. So...length-wise?

      Delete
    3. Yes, longer also. He complains like a woman getting her cervyx poked when I go in deep!

      Delete
  8. guess strap on is big part of every one day or life lot of female go for it too mostly cause bf or husband into it or something female force them to david iam sure love it when you do it to him remind him who in charge but lot of mens want wife or gf take total charge

    mike
    madison ohio
    age 42

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do it to remind him who wears the pants in the family, for sure.

      Delete
  9. I loved this piece Julie!
    I often use various uniforms to trigger moods in him as well as fear
    Yes one look at his school uniform and he instantly knows whats coming lol
    making him polish his saddle shoes in preparation is wonderful for anticipation
    Allison

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I take it the school uniform means a spanking and then a pegging?

      Delete
  10. I used to be embarrassed when Kathy introduced me as her "wife" but now we are both quite happy in our new roles. She is my strong, loving and strict husband and I am her devoted and obedient wife. Our gender role reversals are virtually complete and we are both very happy that Kathy wears the pants in our marriage

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You gave me an idea. I think next time we are with some vanilla women I will praise him for what a good husband he is, how he does the housekeeping without complaint, and end with a joke that he "makes a great little wife!"

      Delete
    2. Thank you for replying Julie. He'll probably blush and his embarrassment will be all the more delightful if you ask him why he is blushing. You can mention that what every woman really needs is a wife and that maybe someday the other women will be able to borrow him.

      Delete
  11. Dear Ms Julie,

    When my strict wife decides that I require a severe discipline paddling she will order me to stand facing the wall wearing only my satin thong with a large steel butt plug inserted and then she buckles my ball gag tightly into my mouth. When she returns and I am ordered to assume my discipline position of bending over and holding the seat of a wooden chair. At this point if I see my strict wife wearing her strap-on dildo and black, leather under bust corset, I know that my butt is in for extremely hard paddling and then when my butt cheeks are bright red, I will be ordered to lower my thong and remove my butt plug and hold my cheeks apart for a dildo rape.

    In terms of keeping me submissive, my strict wife's requirement that I wear satin thongs, an anal plug, and a CB chastity device has been so effective that she has recently reduced the frequency of my maintenance spankings from daily to weekly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And I'm sure you deserve each and every hard stroke from the paddle, and the ass raping as well. It's what little subs get!

      Delete
  12. Dear Ms. Julie,

    I wrote this Haiku for my Domme Wife

    I bend and submit
    Strokes set a fire in my loins
    You own – I love

    ds

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How sweet. Can you write another with a pegging in it?

      Delete
    2. Another Haiku for my Beautiful Domme Wife

      You order me - Bend, submit!
      You thrust gifts of Dominance
      My Devotion Soars

      ds

      ds

      Delete
  13. Reminds me the days when Lilly used to peg me......

    Well written and right to the point again Julie.

    Dan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pretty much yes, I guess she got disinterested in the whole FLR/ taking charge thing.

      Delete
    2. Send her back to me. I'll talk some sense into her!

      Delete
    3. Almost tempting Julie...... and scary at the same time.

      Delete
  14. As it should be , but there comes a time when all true submissive sissies need more. By that I mean all sissies should submit to a real man. Experience a real cock taking them from behind . Experience the humiliation in front of their dominant wives . They may deny there desires of wanting this, but they know as well as their wives that it is inevitable. Only a matter of time before they give in & speak the truth. Deep down they want to be humbled , but are afraid of what you may think of them .

    ReplyDelete
  15. My wife and I have two dildoe scenes we both love.

    The first is the virgin bride. I have a lovely gown with a mega full crinoline and all the accessories, including a veil. I get fully dressed and made up. I wait demurely for my well endowed lover. She lifts my veil, puts me on the bed doggy style, lifts my rustling skirts over my back and takes me gently. I moan, squeel, and sigh like a virgin bride as I get taken.

    The second is the lord of the manor. I wear my traditional french maid outfit. I have been flirting with the lord of the manor for months. I get put on the bed doggy style. My skirt and petticoat get flipped up and over my back. The lord of the manor mounts me and takes me. I talk dirty for this scene and get taken more forcefully.

    There is something SO sexy about having your rustling, feminine skirts lifted when you are on the bed doggy style. Being mounted and taken when dressed super feminine, prettily and sexy is fun for both of us.

    We have other scenes but these are, year after year, our two mutual favorites.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Have you experimented with the timing of david's orgasm relative to his being pegged? In other words, have you fucked after as well as before he's cum? Maybe you can save the post-cum pegging for punishment fuckings (just as post cum spankings are more painful...). One can almost picture him on his kness, jerking his small cock looking at yours being waved menacingly above his face. He knows that once he cums (and licks it all up, naturally), that cock will be then raping his ass...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like that! His own cum will be the only lube I use!

      Delete
    2. Julie, I luv your ideas, it looks like David doesn't have any body hair? Was he waxed or shaved by you or taken to a beauty salon? He has a terrific body? You must keep him in shape! "Leotard and tights" hee, hee, Cassandra.

      Delete
    3. I make a point of shaving his chest, underarms, tummy, back, genitals, and bum (crack especially!). He is allowed hair on other parts of his body (for now, anyway). He has an ok body, getting nicer. There is still fat around his tummy that I am trying hard to rid him of (it is VERY unhealthy). The Yoga we are having him do is having a pleasing effect on his muscle definition and posture.

      Delete
  17. My Mistress has become expert at using a double sided dildo to peg me and have it inside her simultaneously. She can orgasm using that dildo and I'm so happy for that. I am made to clean both sides of the dildo with my mouth also.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Be careful of health risks, silly. Cleaning off one side with your mouth should be plenty. The other you can clean off bare bum at the kitchen sink.

      Delete
  18. Yes, the female strapon is an important part of today's marriage. Many men, including me, are expected to submit to regular obedience training in marriage by their spouse. I submit to the strapon in doggy fashion at least 3x weekly when she commands and wants it. This includes pantying, chastity denial, regular genital shaving and waxing, and discipline. This has become an essential part of our marriage and helps greatly with our lovemaking. It breaks male ego and male anger, and provides my wife the control she needs,

    ReplyDelete