Yikes! outed...

I live in fear of what just happened to me yesterday. A person from my real-life recognized me from my blog and reached out. Fortunately, he's very much a distinguished older gentleman and he will keep my secret, I am sure, as per his assurances. We exchanged a few emails and will no doubt exchange more. But there is a chance I may have to be spanked by him. It's very embarrassing for me that a man I know and admire in real-life knows so much about my secrets!

Cover from the ebook The Outed SpankO

I take pains to hide my true identity and to keep real life as separate as possible from blog life. Now I know that some enterprising hacker/sleuth could probably discover me, but I am hopeful that I have built enough goodwill, and that anybody with any interest at all in me would be a bit of a fan, that they would not do that. If somebody were to do so, with malicious intent, I would instantly delete all traces I could of Julie, including this entire blog, and never give in to any sort of blackmail, and likely involve the authorities despite the embarrassment. David Letterman was once blackmailed by a guy who threatened to reveal that he had been fucking some of his female employees. He handled it magnificently, fessing up to his audience and going after his blackmailer with the law.

However, I always knew that people who know me in real-life, were they to come across my blog, would be able to put 2 and 2 together. I change a few things about my life, including my own name of course, and some other details of my family and life, but I also need to include many things from my real-life if I am to recount my experiences with any degree of honesty and consistency. For example, in June of 2012 I went on a trip to the South of France and Spain and blogged about it. People who knew me in real life knew that my husband and I went on a trip to the South of France and Spain at that exact same time. So things can add up like that for people who know me and who also read my blog.

Honestly, it gives me a little thrill that people who know me in real life might secretly be blog readers as well. Imagine, for instance, if my Father were a blog reader? OMG! Or just some work colleague or neighbour, and I get an extra little smile from them each time we interact. Perhaps that's why I'm so free with certain life details, photos, even videos. I get a thrill from the possibility of discrete discovery. Like having sex outdoors in a park, for example, with the exciting possibility of discovery adding a certain frisson.

My first "outing" was at the hands of Mistress Violet.

She was turned onto my blog by a client and actually liked it and started reading it. As she was perusing back she recognized my quite detailed and accurate descriptions of a couple of scenes we did. She emailed "Julie" and called me out on it. Regarding my including the account of our scenes without her permission or recognition, she said,

I find myself surprised, delighted, irritated, amused, taken aback - a mix of emotions that will work themselves out over time into something more clear. In order to sort through some of my feelings about appearing on the blog without any kind of recognition, I am requesting another meeting. I have an idea of what I would like to do - this time to "Julie" as well as ████ - but welcome your input as well.

While the emotions she expressed were true, we put them to good use in a fully consensual and negotiated scene that was amazing. I left a lot of detail for Violet to work out. In the end, with her enlisting David's help, I was stripped, tied with my wrists above my head on a hook and thoroughly soaped, showered, and whipped. Then I was put across Violet's knee for a long hard spanking while my husband watched. Afterwards I was taken to bed and made to orally service my husband under Violet's direction. I had to lie on my back with my head bent back over the edge. David was made to insert his cock in the standing position deep down my throat and fuck me under Violet's encouragement. This position was new to me and made deep-throating easier than it had ever been.

For the finale, I was laid out nude on top of David on the bed, and Violet had intercourse with me with a strap-on dildo while David was instructed to hold my pussy lips open for her and play with my clitty until I came with her cock deeply in me. I remember clamping so hard around her cock as I convulsed in orgasm. I sure learned my lesson! ;-) It's all described in Outed to Mistress Violet! and Punished by Mistress Violet! Violet even tweeted about it after...

I was never at all worried about Violet, of course. She's quite literally kinkier than anybody I know and deals in secrets all the time. It's been fun that she knows my husband and I in real-life and that we can freely play together and I can blog about it afterwards with full credit.

Yesterday's shocking email was a bit different than this. It's a former work colleague who only ever knew me in a professional capacity. My first instinct was to keep this "outing" completely secret and rely absolutely on his discretion, but what the heck, it's a "Julie" episode so I may as well blog about it? He agreed.

In his correspondence he made a request (that I feel 100% safe in rejecting, as he makes clear). He asked that given I am "out" to him if we could arrange for a tryst in a downtown hotel where he would give me a spanking. He's an older gentleman (in his sixties), and was a senior executive in a company we both used to work for. He was a bit of a mentor to me. This was before he found my blog at all and made the connection. There is a definite "Daddy" vibe I have about him, and I admired him professionally very greatly.

Normally I would never consider such a thing, to guard my identity. In this case, I cannot use that justification. I am tempted to receive a spanking from this Daddy figure. I would have to tell David and seek his permission. That is more for me than for him. I have automatic carte blanche as far as he is concerned.

What should I do??? Maybe if you read our correspondence you can help me decide.

This was his initial correspondence to me:

From: XXXXXXX
To: me (Julie)
Subject: Reaching Out

Hi "Julie",

I'm a fellow Torontonian who is a massive admirer of you and your blog. Whereas a lot of other written spanking resources seem to be in decline, I think your blog is one of the most entertaining and insightful such things on the web at present.

I was very conflicted over whether to reach out to you in this way at all, but have decided to make the leap. You may recognize my name from my email. If you are who I think you are, we have worked together and met several times in real life. We have worked together as professional colleagues in a past job, and you and your husband have been over at my wife's and my house for a work party. Unless I am very mistaken, your name is XXXX XXXXXX, you live on XX XXXXX, we worked together at XXXXX around XXX-XXXX, and we are connected on LinkedIn.

I want to assure you that your secret identity is 100% secure with me. I am a lifelong spanko, I switch, and I have had encounters with pro dommes and subs in Toronto and abroad. My wife is pretty vanilla, a refrain I'm sure you've heard many times. So I guess I have my secret identity to protect as well, which is why I am writing to you from my unmasked personal email account, to give you some level of assurance as to my intentions in reaching out.

Isn't it odd how we sat together in meetings, and you worked on a project for me, without us knowing anything about that part of each others' lives? I did, of course, admire you sexually, in that way men do, but hopefully without letting on at all.

How do I know it's you? The video you posted of you spanking your husband is a bit of a dead giveaway for anybody who has met you. As well, I know your husband is named David (you probably should have switched that up!). Also I knew where you live, where you traveled on vacations, and the fact that you have a family cottage. These are all things we discussed and that matched the narrative in your blog. Plus that bubbly vivacious personality shows through equally on your blog and in real-life. So, no, I can't be 100% sure, but I am 99.9% sure. And that slight doubt is the reason I'm reaching out to "strictjulie", not XXXXX XXXXX, in case I am wrong (imagine if poor innocent XXXX were to receive such a message?)

If you say, no, that's not me, you got it wrong, that is all you need to say and I will completely let it drop and never mention it again, and take whatever I may or may not know to the grave.

And if you "fess up", it will bring a smile to my face knowing I am one of the few people you share this secret with, and we need never meet or mention it again.

But the real reason I am reaching out is to confess, despite being considerably older than you, to a total puppy love crush I have on you. You ARE the perfect woman! We are both in loving marriages and I know neither of us wish to upset those apple carts. But so few people must know both you and your blog persona, that it would be wonderful to meet secretly and just discuss all the tremendous adventures from your blog, and, dare I say it, recreate one or two in the privacy of a downtown hotel room?

There, I said it!

Of course, I had fantasies of blackmailing you into accepting a spanking from me, but I admire you way too much to do that. But maybe as a roleplay?

Despite having almost a couple of decades on you and being essentially retired, I'm still fit and healthy and horny, and would love to engage as an occasional play partner. It would not be a stretch for me to play your Daddy. We did have a bit of a mentorship thing, I thought, at XXXXX. I hope I'm not imagining that now with rose coloured glasses, where in fact you think of me as a sexist pig or some such.

I could spank you, or you could spank me, or both. I would gladly accept a pegging from you, as I don't believe you've ever done this to another man? I know you were spanked (and other things!) by another man, John you called him, husband of Tracy? And you received a nice massage from a Spanish boy in Seville I believe. I even remember you telling me about that trip, but you omitted that part, you naughty girl! I would prefer to spank rather than be spanked, but have learned that my being on the bottom is a good way to build trust, and besides there are many more and exciting pro dommes than pro subs, so I have adapted.

And you can imagine how surreal and titillating it was for me to put 2 and 2 together. Fortunately (for my sanity), when we worked together I had not yet encountered your blog. And then I was a fan who thought it was great that such a woman lives nearby and cottages up North as I do. But when I saw the video, it was "I know that person!". With that knowledge I re-watched intently, especially the clip where your husband spanked your delightfully squirming bare bottom. How could I not imagine myself in his place? I also revisited the various clothed and explicit photos of yourself that you posted, especially the shower photoshoot and the Tracy photoshoots.

I was particularly excited by the turn of events over the past year where you became increasingly more submissive. I am impressed by the spankings you take, shocked and awed by how you involved your family, delighted how you improved your wifely cock-sucking skills and have learned to swallow without (much) complaint, and very impressed how you bend over and readily accept what you describe as painful and punitive anal intercourse from your husband. I was also delighted and enchanted by your fictional flights of fancy in your new e-book which I eagerly consumed. Your adventures as a church-goer were magnificent, though as a practicing Christian I would like to know what church you attended!

Knowing what turns you on, I hope you are embarrassed in a "tummy churning" way knowing that I have seen you present yourself both as a serious professional woman, and like that. And surely you need to be spanked by your old mentor for such promiscuity.

Regardless of what you decide to do, up to and including completely ignoring this email, 100% your secret is safe with me, and I am trusting you with same.

And just thank for being you. What a wonderful gift you are to this world!

 

Sincerely,

XXXX XXXXX

You can imagine the panic that set in when I first read that!!!! I re-read it multiple times, over and over again, over-analyzing it from all angles. Let me repeat the email again, with my thoughts as they are now.

From: XXXXXXX
To: me (Julie)
Subject: Reaching Out

Holy smokes! I recognized his name right away and then double-checked which email account I was looking at! Had I been discovered? Or was he just a fan reaching out with his real name????

Hi "Julie",

Oh shit. The quotes. I'm outed. Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

I'm a fellow Torontonian who is a massive admirer of you and your blog. Whereas a lot of other written spanking resources seem to be in decline, I think your blog is one of the most entertaining and insightful such things on the web at present.

Ok, a bit relieved - he is a fan at least.

I was very conflicted over whether to reach out to you in this way at all, but have decided to make the leap. You may recognize my name from my email. If you are who I think you are, we have worked together and met several times in real life. We have worked together as professional colleagues in a past job, and you and your husband have been over at my wife's and my house for a work party. Unless I am very mistaken, your name is XXXX XXXXXX, you live on XX XXXXX, we worked together at XXXXX around XXX-XXXX, and we are connected on LinkedIn.

Oh yes. Definitely outed. No question. I always knew this could happen, but here it is.

I want to assure you that your secret identity is 100% secure with me. I am a lifelong spanko, I switch, and I have had encounters with pro dommes and subs in Toronto and abroad. My wife is pretty vanilla, a refrain I'm sure you've heard many times. So I guess I have my secret identity to protect as well, which is why I am writing to you from my unmasked personal email account, to give you some level of assurance as to my intentions in reaching out.

Ok, that's good. It will be our secret. I know the gentleman and admire him. I feel I can trust him. He is a big old spanko like me that he holds back from his wife and also has something to lose. Feeling a bit more relieved after a time with this in there.

Isn't it odd how we sat together in meetings, and you worked on a project for me, without us knowing anything about that part of each others' lives? I did, of course, admire you sexually, in that way men do, but hopefully without letting on at all.

I didn't actually notice him admiring me at all, though would have been flattered had he done so discretely. He was a powerful executive in that company, and that turned me on.

How do I know it's you? The video you posted of you spanking your husband is a bit of a dead giveaway for anybody who has met you. As well, I know your husband is named David (you probably should have switched that up!). Also I knew where you live, where you traveled on vacations, and the fact that you have a family cottage. These are all things we discussed and that matched the narrative in your blog. Plus that bubbly vivacious personality shows through equally on your blog and in real-life. So, no, I can't be 100% sure, but I am 99.9% sure. And that slight doubt is the reason I'm reaching out to "strictjulie", not XXXXX XXXXX, in case I am wrong (imagine if poor innocent XXXX were to receive such a message?)

The video. I re-watched it. Yeah. It shows my full figure walking around, and there's a bit of my voice in a few places as well. And, as I surmised, from a bunch of other details that match up to real-life. I remember us discussing European trips and cottaging. And he did have a work party at his house that I brought David to.

If you say, no, that's not me, you got it wrong, that is all you need to say and I will completely let it drop and never mention it again, and take whatever I may or may not know to the grave.

Ok. That's option 1. Ignore the email.

And if you "fess up", it will bring a smile to my face knowing I am one of the few people you share this secret with, and we need never meet or mention it again.

Option 2. An email back acknowledging he found me out and requesting we never speak of this ever again.

But the real reason I am reaching out is to confess, despite being considerably older than you, to a total puppy love crush I have on you. You ARE the perfect woman! We are both in loving marriages and I know neither of us wish to upset those apple carts. But so few people must know both you and your blog persona, that it would be wonderful to meet secretly and just discuss all the tremendous adventures from your blog, and, dare I say it, recreate one or two in the privacy of a downtown hotel room?

There, I said it!

You certainly did. Oh my gosh. You're a powerful man. A "puppy love crush" on me??? He must easily be in his mid to late sixties now. I get it that he does not want a relationship per se, just a bit of play. I am feeling pressured though. Is this a subtle, implicit, blackmailing? I am a bit taken aback. The tone of the whole message has changed suddenly from completely non-threatening, to a bit threatening.

Of course, I had fantasies of blackmailing you into accepting a spanking from me, but I admire you way too much to do that. But maybe as a roleplay?

Fuck you! If I thought the blackmail was implicit before, it just got a bit more explicit now. Starting to not like where this is heading at all.

Despite having almost a couple of decades on you and being essentially retired, I'm still fit and healthy and horny, and would love to engage as an occasional play partner. It would not be a stretch for me to play your Daddy. We did have a bit of a mentorship thing, I thought, at XXXXX. I hope I'm not imagining that now with rose coloured glasses, where in fact you think of me as a sexist pig or some such.

Ok. I know what he wants. I don't know if I'm being blackmailed or not. Actually, I don't think so. He has a lot to lose as well with his admissions in this email and his situation with his wife. But he could damage me by sending a little anonymous note to my professional colleagues saying, "check this out - http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com - isn't that XXXX XXXX?"

But he is right that we did have a bit of a professional mentorship thing going on. He was a lot above me in the company but I was assigned to a special project with him, and we worked fairly closely for a couple of weeks, during which time he gave me a lot of valuable advice and also greased the wheels for a key promotion for me. I was and am grateful. I do not think he has any desire to harm me at all.

Other than the spanking that is ;-)

I could spank you, or you could spank me, or both. I would gladly accept a pegging from you, as I don't believe you've ever done this to another man? I know you were spanked (and other things!) by another man, John you called him, husband of Tracy? And you received a nice massage from a Spanish boy in Seville I believe. I even remember you telling me about that trip, but you omitted that part, you naughty girl! I would prefer to spank rather than be spanked, but have learned that my being on the bottom is a good way to build trust, and besides there are many more and exciting pro dommes than pro subs, so I have adapted.

Ok, clever. He preempted me saying that I would never engage in anything like that with another man. He also opened the possibility that I could be the one in control during our meeting, and spank the shit out of him for putting me through this!!!!!

And you can imagine how surreal and titillating it was for me to put 2 and 2 together. Fortunately (for my sanity), when we worked together I had not yet encountered your blog. And then I was a fan who thought it was great that such a woman lives nearby and cottages up North as I do. But when I saw the video, it was "I know that person!". With that knowledge I re-watched intently, especially the clip where your husband spanked your delightfully squirming bare bottom. How could I not imagine myself in his place? I also revisited the various clothed and explicit photos of yourself that you posted, especially the shower photoshoot and the Tracy photoshoots.

Oh my gosh... Yes. The realizing that this distinguished older gentleman. An admired elder colleague, had seen me like this!

This is legitimately the most embarrassing thing, to me, that I have ever put out there. It's my husband giving me a 3-minute long spanking and scolding across his knee, with my pants pulled down and my cute little watermellon panties following. I squirm and try to protect myself as my husband reddens my naughty bottom for me. My embarrassment at points during my lecture is palpable. The video of my spanking is linked here and an abridged version with some audio left in linked from it.

My colleague, my distinguished older colleague, a senior executive, a mentor to me, my boss's boss's boss, has seen me spanked like a shrieking child across my husband's knee, and has suggested doing the same to me!

I was particularly excited by the turn of events over the past year where you became increasingly more submissive. I am impressed by the spankings you take, shocked and awed by how you involved your family, delighted how you improved your wifely cock-sucking skills and have learned to swallow without (much) complaint, and very impressed how you bend over and readily accept what you describe as painful and punitive anal intercourse from your husband.

Oh no. It's going from bad to worse. He's referred to my training in sucking cock and swallowing, enforced by my husband's belt. Will he want to assess for himself how much I learned????? And he's also referring to my requirement, on demand, to receive anal intercourse from my husband. Normal wives can and do refuse this. Spanked wives cannot. Will he want to see how compliant I am with him in this regard as well??? Can a mid-sixties guy keep it up for that? Will I have to bend over for that after my spanking? He suggests I may...

my shame
He has seen me like this already!
What will I be required to let happen???

I was also delighted and enchanted by your fictional flights of fancy in your new e-book which I eagerly consumed. Your adventures as a church-goer were magnificent, though as a practicing Christian I would like to know what church you attended!

Awww... he's a good Christian man. That book contains all my dirty secret fantasies in the realm of submission. He knows what I want and crave.

Knowing what turns you on, I hope you are embarrassed in a "tummy churning" way knowing that I have seen you present yourself both as a serious professional woman, and like that. And surely you need to be spanked by your old mentor for such promiscuity.

He even references my turn of phrase when describing my embarrassed feelings. This argument for my spanking seems to be the most compelling to me...

Regardless of what you decide to do, up to and including completely ignoring this email, 100% your secret is safe with me, and I am trusting you with same.

Yes. I think I get this. In the end I feel free to do or not do with equanimity. The note was a roller-coaster, but this was a good summing up.

And just thank for being you. What a wonderful gift you are to this world!

Now you're just trying to get into my pants :-)

 

Sincerely,

XXXX XXXXX

 

What a note, eh? What a roller-coaster of emotions as I read and re-read. I decided to answer failry promptly:

From: me (Julie)
To: XXXXXXX
Subject: Re: Reaching Out 

Hi XXXXXX,

Oh my gosh, your email practically made my heart stop! I live in a certain amount of fear at being "outed", and have my finger on the "delete blog" button were that to come to pass. But your message was sufficiently reassuring regarding your discretion that I ended up somewhat relieved that I was "found out" by such a gentleman as yourself. I always humoured myself thinking that if I were discovered by someone who knows me in real life, they would be a spanko also and would understand and keep my secret. Nice that turned out to be the case.

And yes, you have indeed got it right. Oh blush! And of course I remember you, a very tall, handsome, distinguished, incredibly bright senior exec, and I absolutely considered you to be a mentor and basked in whatever attention you lavished upon little old me from your well-deserved exalted perch in the company. I do admit to having been a bit turned on in your presence. Ha ha! As a professional woman I am well aware of sexual thoughts colleagues have for us, but ignore and bluster on, and count on the men to do likewise, and I never received any overt hint of it from you which is more than I can say for some.

I was a bit dismayed that your goal in reaching out seemed to be to engage in some sort of play. I don't generally play with other men, and certainly not behind my husband's back. John and the massage guy you mentioned notwithstanding.

But as I re-read, I was relieved that you seemed entirely capable of accepting no for an answer. And I recall some words of advice from you regarding career advancement, "if you don't ask you don't get". So good for you for asking. And I am certainly tempted, as you would make a wonderful "Daddy". I will consider it, but please don't hold your breath.

You are absolutely right that after the terror wore off, thinking of you in particular having seen all those images of me, and knowing everything I engage in and my innermost sexual thoughts, fantasies, and behaviours, I truly have massive embarrassed butterflies in my tummy (and a bit lower as well). The thought of being spanked by you for it makes me a bit wet...

Thank you for keeping my secrets, and could you please delete this email chain that links strictjulie to my real name in case someone else gets access? Thank you!

"Julie"

P.S. As I post most everything in my Julie-life to my blog, may I post this with all identifying information removed? Might amuse my followers that I've been "found out" by a former boss's boss's boss that I worked directly with!

A quite true summing up of my emotions. I certainly did not agree to anything, but I certainly did not completely shut the door either.

He wrote back,

From: XXXXXXX
To: me (Julie)
Subject: Re: Reaching Out

Hi Julie,

You shall be Julie henceforth and I will immediately delete all traces of this thread and confirm with a fresh email with no mention of your real name.

I can absolutely live with a "no"; and yes, I have lived successfully by "if you don't ask you don't get." Your response was quite coquettish however, so while I will definitely not hold my breath, I will hold onto a modicum of hope!

And by all means publish our correspondence with the appropriate redactions. I would expect nothing less and will look forward to your self-assessment of your own feelings in the matter, as you are wont to do.

Cheers!

So there it is. He confirmed back with a fresh email that he had "taken care of that matter", and now I have as well from my end, having only preserved it redacted here.

What shall we call this gentleman for the purposes of this blog? I'm running out of fake names. How about "Mr. Stevens"? I would not feel comfortable referring to Mr. Stevens by his given name. He is very senior to me after all.

I am sure Mr. Stevens is reading this blog post with some measure of interest. Perhaps trying to detect which way the wind is blowing with me regarding his request. I am grateful that he is being such a gentleman about it. And he correctly surmised that I would be equal parts terrified and titillated by the exchange. But I'm blushing so hard knowing that Mr. Stevens, Mr. Executive Vice President Stevens, knows my true nature and seems to know the type of disciplining that I need and crave from a legitimate father figure. Oh dear.

I went looking for an opening image for this blog entry, google imaging searching "outed". I came across this one, which is from a book cover.

Cover from the ebook The Outed SpankO

Oh my gosh, it's sort of perfect, isn't it? If we do it, will he insist on me being dressed as a schoolgirl for our rendezvous? He did reference the photos from the Tracy/John episodes.

And we all know what happened then.

I see him in a suit in a big hotel suite. He would be my mentor of old, a senior executive, a Christian elder, "disappointed" in me that I had developed and displayed such perverted sexuality. I had clearly not been properly "seen to" when I was a schoolgirl. He will revisit that phase of my training. I will be obliged to show up in schoolgirl uniform for my dressing down. He will take me across his knee and in no uncertain way teach me the errors of my ways, directly on my very bare bottom. He will have me stand and bend over, "Spread Your Feet, Girl!", for a paddling, a leathering, and a caning.

While it would be bad enough being exposed to Mr. Executive Vice President Stevens like that, better that than being exposed for the depraved slut I am to the entire company!

Will Mr. Stevens not take "no" for an answer from me? Will he require me to show up for my spanking in this way???  And after my spanking, will I be sent on my way, or will I be required to demonstrate to him my proficiency with the wifely skills beaten into me by my husband during my disciplinary training period? I am supposing that it is not an accident that he brought those up in his email to me, my cocksucking training, my training on how to receive anal intercourse from a man. Will he require that of me as well?

What shall I do? Shall I subjugate myself in all the ways a woman can to Mr. Stevens in order to ensure his secrecy? Limping out of his hotel room afterwards with a sore behind, inside and out? Or shall I defy him, and risk public humiliation?

What's a girl to do???

"The Perils of Pauline" indeed. Blog readers, help me out!!!!! ;-)