I'd like to take a moment to reflect how lucky we all are to be kinksters as compared to our poorer, underprivileged, vanilla cousins.
As I bemoaned at length in I Need a Spanking, Bad, I still have not gotten my "real" spanking from my husband yet. Oh, he could and would give me a spanking if I asked for it, even a realistic roleplay, but it would lack the real reality that I crave deep down: a justly delivered punishment spanking, such as I've received on several occasions (all documented on this blog - I went back just now and made a list - I don't think I've forgetting any):
- Naughty Wife Gets an Outdoor Switching - Apr 2018
I screwed up by absolutely insisting on a wrong turn when we were out for a hike and got switched in the great outdoors. A bit of a joke, and before we really committed to our lifestyle, but was real and deserved. - Julie Spanked for Being Irresponsible - Apr 2020
First real real spanking - when we were all super freaked out about COVID I exposed myself needlessly and endangered my parents (old and my Mom has a heart comorbidity). - Monday Dinner + Politics = Nose in Corner - May 2020
Got to stand with my nose in the corner in front of my Mom and Dad and Sue after getting obstreperous at dinner. Got a spanking when we got home. I kind of did this one a bit deliberately to earn it, though... - Christmas Tree Spanking - Dec 2020
David wanted to buy the first tree we liked, and I insisted we keep looking. David said he'd spank me if we just wound up buying the first tree, which we did. A bit of a joke situation, I admit. - Belt Whipped Just for Watching My Show - Jan 2021
I told David we would leave the cottage after my show, and then I started the next episode, and then lied to him about it, and we were late for Sunday dinner as a result. - Wife Spanked and Neighbour Told - Feb 2021
I very stupidly left the cottage door off the latch in midwinter and when we left it blew open. The neighbour had to notice it and close it many hours later. - Spanked for Real for a Fender Bender - May 2021
I was distracted while driving and got into a little accident. I got spanked for real, real for that! - My Spanking - Jul 2021
I insulted David and my blog readers by saying foolish things about consent and homophobia involving him. Got my worst spanking to date for that. - Spanked For Forgetting - Aug 2021
Doh! I forgot to pack the trunk with a tool David needed at the cottage to help out my Dad and then assured him that I did pack it when asked as we were leaving.
I plotted each time I was punished "for real" above. I'm in a bit of a dry spell, but not by much. I expect I will misbehave before the end of the year, based on previous trends. I notice above that I have in fact, "egged on" a few of my real-feeling spankings doing stuff I knew I was going to get spanked for, but that I wanted to do anyways. Seems a bit like "irresponsible teenage girl behaviour" that I can get into. Will keep a lookout for opportunities.
It's just that I soooo much want to be taken in hand and given a well-justified proper barn burner of a spanking to tears.
Fortunately, while we wait, we have this amazing recourse to fantasy!!!!
I know I have many readers who crave a real disciplinary experience and are not so fortunate as I to have lucked into a willing partner. There are even many readers whose partners are not willing or able to indulge them even in some fantasy roleplay along these lines (vanilla wives mainly, though some obstinate husbands as well - see Jillian's story). I am super aware of that and am not comparing my situation to that at all. But one thing we do have in common, and readers in this situation can take sollace in that, even I go through dry spells where what I crave from my partner is just not happening (not his fault, in this case - just real life).
In these situations I can "fallback" to a very rich fantasy life unavailable to vanillas. I can spend endless hours surfing spanking porn, finding exactly the sorts of things that turn me on. I can imagine myself in the girls' situations, I can imagine what I would be feeling, physically and emotionally, and I can masturbate to those thoughts, and feel a great sense of shame at doing so.
This is a common masturbation position for me, bum up over pillows imagining a belt coming down on my ass, and the gyrations of my bumhole and pussy visible to my spanker and the assembled witnesses, as I rub myself off: "No Daddy! Please! Please! Not like this! Not... like... Ahhhhhhhhhh!"
As I runup to my climax I am not usually looking or listening to or reading anything. It's all in my imagination, primed by maybe even hours of looking at all sorts of spanking material, and then focusing in on one or two scenes which I go back to. Often it's pure written stuff. Sometimes I even masturbate to things I have written myself (my book, Julie's Spankings has multiple orgasms per chapter as I was writing it, which I think makes it extra special for my readers!)
Get it at amazon |
It will come as no surprise that my most frequently used text and images center around domestic discipline applied to females.
I can (and have) masturbated to the photo above. Imagining the situation that led me to be standing there like that, and imagining what would happen next.
Before my interest in spanking, I masturbated from time to time, but it was purely physical. There was nothing much going on in my head at all. To be honest, I thought about licking pussy more than anything else. But now. NOW my fantasy life is so rich, and detailed, and intricate.
A reader can send me something, like maybe this:
Or this
and my imagination will run wild.
I get abnormally excited by fully nude OTK spankings.
I absolutely imagine witnesses. It is one of my most persistent fantasies. I'm always let up and I absolutely have to rub at the end.
Then, realizing what I am displaying, I cover up, completely ashamed.
Of course I am made to put my hands on my head as I fiercely blush.
They are always benevolent witnesses who have a good laugh at my punishment and shame. They know I deserved it, and know that I got exactly what I deserved, shaming and all.
I will weather the storm, and I will continue surfing my porn, and reading, and masturbating, until I earn my next spanking.
Bear with me people!
FORTUNATE to be a spanko.
What are you thoughts on being a fetishist? Would you trade it to be a vanilla if you could? Are you like me, do you surf for hours and then close your eyes imaging a scene? Do you get off most on text, photos, or videos? Inquiring minds want to know!
Thanks again for your post Julie. I get off surfing for pics and videos. I haven’t lately but if I want any kind of sub scene I top from the bottom and always seek out a professional.
ReplyDeleteIt's not topping from the bottom to see a pro. You need to negotiate a scene up front and then I hope you are a good boy during your scene and don't try to steer things other than through restrained use of safewords.
DeleteHi Julie,
ReplyDeleteI don't feel like a fetishist. When I was very young I started to imagine scenes before I fell asleep where the sisters of my school friends were humiliated, spanked and much more. I must have been 8 or 10 years old. It never stopped since. Sometimes I masturbate while taking my bath. I don't need pictures, I just need to imagine. It suffices that I mention a friend who comes with her husband to see a colleague in order to attend the spanking which he is going to give to his daughter. She is so excited when he takes off her daughter's panties and spreads her ass that she runs a finger over her husband's tight cock and kisses him for a long time on the mouth.
What a wonderful rich fantasy life! I love it that it started so young for you.
DeleteHave you thought about getting a playful spanking from Sue and Amanda behind David's back? You could write up about it here and get a real spanking for playing without him!
ReplyDeleteMy guess/hope is that your bladder gets you into trouble and David finally puts you in diapers! And I can't believe I haven't thought of this before, but I hope he sends you to the store to buy proper adult diapers, and it happens to be the pharmacy Amanda works at! She knows it's not just a medical issue because David's making you buy baby food and a pacifier too! You know Sue will hear all about it!
I'll let Sue initiate any further play with Amanda, but I will ask her for more feedback.
DeleteI think she's behind the counter on drug duty, not doling out diapers to silly wives ;-)
are you planning to take advantage of Halloween this year for hubby and turn him into something sexy and fun or even baby. Even do the whole sexy lesbian couple costume for a night of fun and go on a double date with your sis.
ReplyDeleteEmily
No, we will likely run away up North during Halloween!
DeleteAs always thanks for the thoughtful essay. You are unfortunately unique in your openness and willingness to explore your fantasies and have the luck to actually live them out.
ReplyDeleteOf course I only occasionally have an opportunity to live out my fantasies with escorts. Here in the states it isn’t so easy to find a good one who is intelligent to actually understand fantasies and be able to provide excellent service and to be honest when can one really live out their desires with an escort. I mean after all would I really kneel down in front of her and lick her pussy or have her ass or other erotic actions…-hmmm no not really. So mine is like yours, surfing the internet to find some triggers to get off.
I find that I have a period of time durning the month that I am much more captivated by my sexual needs. It is a physical change making me really horny. I’m in the beginning of one of those periods. This morning I fantasied about a woman I was briefly involved with recently (although it never got to to stage of sex, just flirting and kissing but it ended there - another story as to why). I was with her in her house and we were engaged with oral and touching when her daughter came in (she is in her 20’s and very hot) She was with her boyfriend and she went up stairs to take a shower. My friend was pretty excited being a bit of an exhibitionist and teased her daughters boyfriend if he wanted a blow job. Of course he said yes and got naked. She dragged me to him pushed me to my knees and told me to get to it.
I didn’t want to but she grabbed my hair and pinched my nose and forced him into my mouth and kept pushing my head down. When I was in the middle of it her daughter came down from her shower with a towel on and was shocked to see her mother’s boyfriend giving her boyfriend head. They both were now partially naked and teased me about what I was doing. Calling me cocksucker and wanted to see me take a load of cum. He grabbed my head and started to face fuck me then came in my mouth…I was a ashamed at my behavior but also excited and so turned on to be performing in front of these two beautiful women. They laughed about the cum dripping down my chin. Of course that humiliation was enough to get me off.
Later in the afternoon I was browsing bdsmlr.com (thanks Julie that link). And was surfing for humiliation topics and other hot buttons for myself and found a number that got me excited again and then abused myself for the second time today LOL
So I guess I spend lots of time surfing various sites to get me off. Sadly, I don’t have that much in the way of real life experiences anymore to just create my own fantasies so the internet is my substitute. Unlike you, who has many life experience to call upon us older guys don’t have the same opportunities. I think back and regret the opportunities I had and didn’t take advantage of for whatever reason. As I got older I realized my shyness with women prevented me from really taking advantage of opportunities.
You are an incredible woman, sexy, beautiful body, unbelievable mind and a gift to all of us.
Love
billie
What a great fantasy, billie. Something very hot about Mothers and daughters together. So taboo!
DeleteAnd thank you for the compliments. Just remember, we're all living in a simulation anyways!
Sometimes I yearn to be spanked long and hard. It hurts so much and feels so good. After Irene will tie me to a wooden chair in her dark closet for who knows how long, then eventually return so I can lick her pussy and finally fuck her. She’s always on top.
ReplyDeleteRosco
That yearning is real!
DeleteThere was a song by The Cars in the late 70s (!) with the lyric, “It takes a fast car to lead a double life.” For most of my adult life, I have attempted to have two lives, one vanilla and one kink. Since those two lives have always included different people, I have had varying degrees of success, including some real disasters from discovery. Sometimes, my car was literally not fast enough. Although obviously, it would be simpler to have one life and live it, I try not to have regrets. Vanilla is comfortable. Fetish is exciting. Both have given me many wonderful memories with many great people. Written word is how fetish exploration started for me, with The Happy Hooker biography by Xaviera Hollander. Text is still my default setting, augmented with magazine photos in the 80s and video, first from sleazy video booths and now, thankfully, from the internet. But most of all, I cherish the memories infrequent live experiences I was able to have when I drove faster cars. -david
ReplyDeleteBest way to live!
DeleteThat doesn't seem much of a trade to me. So I can trade being a fetishist and being able to enjoy kinky or non-kinky sex, for being vanilla and only enjoying non-kinky sex? No way!
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to finding porn to wank to, I have always enjoyed artwork the most for some reason, then photos, then videos, then text (boys need visual stimulus!). I also enjoy when I come across kinky/filthy scenes in mainstream literature. It's amazing how much cuckolding and corporal punishment you come across when reading!
My thought exactly. Vanillas are just "lesser", poor things.
DeleteI also like artwork a lot, often more than photos. And yes, finding a spanking gem in a mainstream stuff is always fun.
That girl humping the bed is my favorite masterbating position also. I'm lucky to have a wife that indulges some of my fetishes, and she alows me to play with another friend to engage some of my other fetishes. Each person has needs and desires, and rare it is if they be completely fulfilled by each other. Part of the fun is the pursuit of, or at least the discussion of the pursuit of the next unique orgasm.
ReplyDeleteThe hard, witnessed, humiliating caneing by my wife and one of her friends, followed by a prostate milking ranks high on my secret fantasy list. There are a couple other additions and scenarios that go into the fantasy as well. We get a little closer in acting them out, so time will tell.
I very much enjoy your writing and the great pictures that go along to illustrate a position or a scene.
Sounds like great scene to work towards! A nice humiliating prostate milking after a good thrashing. Make sure they make you eat it afterwards, or at least hold it tightly in your mouth as they give you a final touch up with the cane!
DeleteJust LOVE the over-the-arm-of-the-sofa spanking (w/ a belt?) photo. Just sexy. And when the belt has done its job, she's in the perfect position for me to help her "take the pain away."
ReplyDeleteThe masturbation gif? Love that too. Used to make my GF do that in front of me, often with a small strap to give her some light "encouragement." (Not too hard!!! Just enough to keep it going.) And her reaction after? The same as that slut Julie!
A.J.
Yes - I pick my photos for a reason! I love it too.
DeleteAnd the masturbation gif is just so... embarrassing for me!
Forgot to answer the questions.
ReplyDelete"What are you thoughts on being a fetishist?"
A spanking fetish at a VERY early age, I thought I was a pervert worthy of PRISON! So I buried it. And then in my 20's met a woman who loved being spanked and that turned me around. Not open to the world, but accepting it was out there and just fine. Some years later at a small party, someone said something about spanking being kinky and one of the WOMEN responded THAT wasn't kinky at all; something along the lines with 'What girl doesn't like a little bottom slapping?'
So I no longer think of spanking as a fetish, perverted, or even kinky.
My favorite line:
"Kinky is when you use a feather. Perverted is when you use the whole chicken!"
"Would you trade it to be a vanilla?"
No. I'm comfortable with who I am and who my girl friends are (most of whom are not into spanking as Julie describes it.)
Let me add - spanking does not define me. As much as I like playing, if I never get to spank or get spanked ever again - I'm OK with it.
A.J.
There's a "little bottom slapping" and then there's fantasizing that you've been a naughty girl and that Daddy needs to spank you bare naked in front of your brothers and sisters until you cry! The latter,I think, still qualifies as kinky :-)
DeleteTrade it for vanilla? Actually... probably yes.
ReplyDeleteYou said that before you got into spanking, your masturbation (and I assume orgasms?) were purely physical, with at most a fantasy of cunnilingus. Now, you get these elaborate kinky fantasies, but... are you even ABLE to achieve an orgasm from purely physical vanilla intercourse anymore?
I am not, and if I could change that, then I definitely would. I am blessed with an accommodating husband who is willing to play out the things I am interested in and enjoy (or, probably, occasionally, fake enjoyment in) them. But, like for you, kink and sex are a bit disjoint for me, where I need specific stimulation for an orgasm (cunnilingus does it, penetrative sex with no additional clit-rubbing doesn't, and neither does strap-on play, at least so far). At the moment when I orgasm, I always end up in my own head playing out an increasingly extreme fantasy (if there was kinky foreplay leading up to sex, then building on that). And I wish I could just cum from my partner's physical touch without these additional psychological complications.
Bottom line: it's not about the contents of the fantasy (that's a spectrum, and I agree with your previous poster that there is no clear point where non-kink ends and kink begins). It's about physical versus mental space requirements for sexual gratification. And on that front, I do envy "vanilla" people.
I see exactly what you mean, and it's a solid point. I have a sister-in-law who got pretty drunk once when she was just with David and I, and we were talking about orgasms and how I needed my pussy licked, and she looked a little sorry for me and blurted out that she just cums "in the normal way". It was funny, but I know what you mean!
DeleteStill, I would not trade it!
Kinky or not, as you know my wife is the head of this home. Recently she has decided that she needed to insure I behave, and spankings do work, but more was needed. I mentioned jammie punishment, well I was forbidden computer time for about three weeks. She said I had gone to far, and for those three weeks I would be in my jammies after work, on weekends, no matter who might drop in. I would be doing the housework, would be going to bed early, and to add to this be given a bath each night prior to bedtime. What I did as mouth off to her and her mother in a store. Oh I was soundly spanked when we got home, but when told of Jammie Punishment I protested, yes another spanking happened. Kinky or not, I'm glad that is over, was allowed to get back on the computer. My wife just reminded me, best be good, she found some little boy jammies that would fit me. Jack
ReplyDeleteYou have a very specific, and very persistent, fetish, jack. I admire your stamina with it!
DeleteWC here
ReplyDeleteBare naked in the living room
Young lady or young man
In front of whom ever may be there!
Bare naked wailing over Dads knee as he spanks the mischief out of one or both of you
With his bare hand!!!
Just better hope Dad never catches you with your bare bottom up in the air masturbating like that!!!
It would be the belt for sure……..:)
Yummmm! Exciting!
Delete