Saturday, March 16

Beating your man properly

For this post, I thought I would share some of my experiences on how to really beat a man, but good, without injuring him. I have had a few missteps along the way, and I got some feedback and coaching from david, but I have had a lot of practice now, and can give some good tips. Everytime I give david a very intense beating, it hurts him like crazy at the time, and for hours afterwards he is sore, but he is so much happier in the end! He is also very eager to avoid another such beating, and so is very attentive to my every need for at least the next week or two.

You need a heavy implement. Perhaps a large paddle, but I think a thick cane or a thick leather tawse works best (or all three for the variety).


Aim for the region from the middle of his bottom down to where the thighs and the bum meet. Too high and he feels it in his low back (even though you didn't actually hit there, it seems that way to him). Going too low is not a problem, as the backs of his thighs are well-padded, but this is for sure "extra" punishment.


Aim so that the very tip of the implement hits anywhere between the side-to-side midpoint of each cheek. I made the mistake of aiming the general end of the strap or cane, not aiming the very tip. As a result, the strap or cane wraps around his hips, and damages the thinner skin at his hips. That is no good. So just understand that the very tip is what is moving the fastest, and wherever that hits, that is where he will feel it most. Just aim that part for the fleshiest parts.


Notice the spanking concentrating beneath the midline of his bum? She went a little more over to the side, and a few smacks down low for extra punishment. Those thigh smacks tend to bruise up nicely and cause soreness for a while.

When I go hard, I like to have him flat on the bed, with maybe just one or two pillows under his hips to raise him up a bit. If I bend him over too much the skin stretches tight, he loses the padding, and it becomes too much agony (for david anyways, your mileage may vary).


I think you should restrain him so that you can really take your time beating him, and be confident that you are really in charge (he needs to feel that as well - and restraining him makes him feel completely in your power). A belt wrapped around and around his ankles is a good start. You need to pull extra hard as you are tightening it because when it settles back in it loosens, and as he wiggles around and kicks it loosens as well. You can also consider a second belt around his knees as well. This keeps his thighs together and prevents any chance of accidentally strapping his balls. Then some kind of restraint around his wrists as well. Perhaps one of those furry things from a sex shop. Fasten his hands in front of him, and either tie them to the top of the bed, or just have him lie down on his hands. I don't mind that he plays with his penis during the beating. If it gives him some comfort, then so be it, he needs all he can get! You don't want to restrain his hands behind his back, as they may get in the way.

I also like a ball gag. A nice big one.


Make him go out and buy everything you need. With a ball gag, again, you must fasten it down more tightly than you imagine, as it loosens up as it slides around. Be prepared for a lot of slobber, though, and perhaps put a towel down at his head.

Then just go to town for as long as you want on his derrière. Take your time with each stroke, but really aim it carefully, and use a full swing of your arm and your body. It is easy to practice this alone. Just set up a few pillows and beat the stuffing out of them (just like you will do with your man later). Honestly, five minutes of practice is all it takes. We're not talking rocket science here.

And if you miss and are a little off centre with a strike, don't worry about it, and DON'T apologize whatever you do. Just remind him that if he hadn't screwed up, he wouldn't be lying here now having to receive a beating.

Don't be concerned about the sounds that come out of him. You can easily smack him hard enough to get a spine-curdling scream from him without injuring him. This has happened many times with me. It sounds like you're killing him, and he's just fine as soon as the beating is over. Just something you need some experience with.

I personally like beating him until I see some bruising. Red is not even in question: he should be deep red. Beat him until you see him really sweating. If he is not stinky and sweating, you are not going hard enough. There should also be tears in his eyes. It's not that he cries exactly, it's more like the pain is just so great that the tears leak out on their own.

For a proper beating, keep at it for at least thirty minutes, something around 300 strokes or so should get the message across.

You need to get him past the first 100 or so, after that he numbs up a bit and can take the strokes easier, but that is where the strokes that will cause him the deeper, longer lasting soreness will be doled out, so don't skimp on these if you would like to see him in discomfort for the rest of the day, and maybe well into the next, which is fun.

Yes he will be a pitiful sight to behold, but he'll be just fine from almost the moment you stop, with just the residual soreness. But a beating like this can be very cathartic for a subby male, and he will love you even more for doing it to him. Even the soreness will be a badge of honour for him, and something you can tease him about for days. He will not be injured even though his bum will look very beaten up.

I don't like to just end a beating like this casually. I will put him against the wall, bare beaten bum showing, holding up a coin with his nose. If you beat him in the bedroom, then take him nude into the living room for this. The unfamiliar surroundings will add to his distress. Make sure to let him know that if he drops the coin, he will be beaten again. If he does drop it, you absolutely must carry through on the promise, and then start his timeout from the beginning again. Fifteen minutes can be a very long time to him, and is what I generally use for timeout.

After he is done, allow him to come out and make him crawl over and kiss your feet and thank you for beating him so severely. You may then take some pity on him, and perhaps rub some cream into his bottom. Despite the beating he is usually horny after I do this (especially if I let my hand stray when applying cream or lotion). I will allow him to jerk himself off while I watch so long as he swallows his mess afterwards.

You should aim for something like this.

Poor baby.

So that is how I beat my man when he needs it. It took me a while to get over the thought that I was hurting him, but now I really enjoy making him suffer for me, and, ultimately, so does he.

Disclaimer: this type of limit-pushing play is only for couples who genuinely wish to engage in it: both parties. It is immoral, illegal, and incorrect to ever do such a thing in any way non-consensually. Be safe, be sane, and be consensual always. And have fun!

199 comments:

  1. Educational, and how long is it till those bruises and the redness fade? I still think that strap is a formidable tool in your arsenal.

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    1. The redness goes away pretty fast (like, within a half hour), but a subtle dusky colour persists for longer (until next morning). After that it is just the bruises that remain, and those can last a week, easy. It's fun to inspect each night.

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    2. The pain ceases more quickly after 2-3 days at the latest, but the traces of the more serious beating disappear much more slowly. Bleeding after strong hits comes into existence and the absorption of the hemoglobin is though painless and harmless process, but there is a very slow one. The yellow patches may remain until 3-4 weeks. It is possible to forget the session after this much time, but the traces may reveal it.
      It occurred with me that an acquaintance of mine noticed my yellow patches in the swimming pool; she thought that I fell sometime.

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  2. I'm sure you look after your poor baby afterwards and all that, ;-)!
    If you don't my asking, after a day or two, when the major swelling has gone down, but his bum is still engorged and sensitized, does he ever want to come back over your knee for another, kinder, and gentler, hand spanking?
    To prolong the effect, that is.
    :-)!

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    1. I have not found him swelling up much. Perhaps he has a tough butt? And yes, he does request a mild spanking when his bum is still sore. He can cum from one of those, right across my knee. Ha Ha!

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    2. Crash!
      Oh, excuse me, I just got off the floor.
      What was that you said?

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    3. Well, I need to put baby oil on my thighs and on hs penis, but after that's taken care if then the spanking on his sore bum makes him cum. 'Natch he must lick it all up afterwards (baby oil or not!)

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  3. Good advice! This is pretty much my own M.O. when dealing with L.

    Even though we may differ on the choice of instruments, the 'end result' is very similar (as L. would undoubtedly agree)..

    J(2)

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    1. Fun to know we evolved in the same direction. Should give other wives out there confidence as well.

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    2. Proselytizing is not my game, but neither will I refrain from letting a few of my friends know (and occasionally watch) the way I enforce domestic discipline. I know it has encouraged three of them to use the same methods at home (but only in one case have I been invited to witness such 'action')

      J(2)

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  4. You are a sweetheart.

    Easytopick

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    1. Are you being sarcastic?
      'cause I think I am a sweetheart for giving my man what he needs, but your opinion may differ.

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    2. My apologies. In no way did I intend to be sarcastic. Now my I please get off the punishment stool?

      Easytopick

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    3. 5 for minutes. Now wiggle that bum! Whack!

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  5. I enjoyed your 'how too' thoughts, diagrams and illustrations. it left me yearning and cringing at once.
    I suppose I'd add one big unknown is pain thresholds for guys. I've seen guys in videos getting caned to a pulp and barely seeming to react, then there's other guys, at the wimpy end of the spectrum, who are dancing and putting there hand back from the first hit (babies). It's not one size fits (or hits) all I suppose. Ongoing Dom/sub relationships can develop a feel for the pain level thing - but always avoid topping from the bottom.
    There's other stuff going on here too. The spankee you just put through 'hell' is going to be floating, on a cloud of endorphins seconds after you finish beating him (notice that big sigh?). Make darn sure you get a good "thankyou ma'am" or three ladies, before he goes against the wall. You are earned it! lill jo.

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    1. Good points. I have seen videos as you describe. I must say, I do not appreciate when the man just lies there and shows no reactions. But if he's behaving like the wimp, then my natural reaction is to restrain him and give him something to really cry about!

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    2. .Your very kind about my dirty little mind, :)Seriously I love your openness about all this. I love my wife mor each day but she's pretty vanilla. Its baby steps getting her to spank me more or boss me around. I love it when we take it just a little further but I don't want to freak her out. Most of the ideas above seem miles off. I hope they're fun for others. Maybe for me one day lill jo.

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    3. Well I can't relate to baby steps. It's not in my makeup, but I respect others' ways as well.

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    4. I wish I could find a women to do all that to me when i know i really deserve i or when she thinks i deserve it. Even tho im not a fan of the pain it really does help and i much prefer it on the bare butt for effects. My ex did this to me when i disrespected her or was rude and her favorite implement of choice was a paddle with holes and she used lubrication on my bare for the stinging to be even worse and it hurt like hell but it did make our relationship better and did it a couple times a week even if my bare butt was bruised.

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    5. I bet you acted even worse to her after she reprimanded you. Like you were being rewarded for acting like an a**hole to her. The more you act like an ahole the more spankings. Seems like a waste of time to me. Actually you should be getting spanked for being good to encourage good behaviour. Maybe you should be nice and respectful to your family and then the woman you are with will be willing to supply you with your kinky needs.

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    6. I agree!
      I only spank david when he is good.
      I PRETEND he's bad to stay "in scene". There's always some trivial thing I can find fault with!

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    7. Thank you Julie. My husband is constantly pestering me to be in a fem-dom relationship, but he is a pompous control freak often belittling me and family members. He insists he wants a female led marriage, but has to be in constant control. Plus I am not allowed to have an opinion about anything, he is always right. I have tried spanking him but nothing changes his behaviour. He insists this will make our marriage better and I will have more time for myself. That is a joke, he wants me to make up these extraordiairy scenes and then after he rates me on them. Imagine, rating me, talk about a blow to your self esteem. He does not realize he has just turned me off to sex completely, let alone his selfish desires.

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    8. @Anonymous 31 March 2014 at 12:46: My advice with your control freak husband is to give him more than he can handle; i.e. push him over the edge and out of his comfort/control zone. Restrain him for real, so he CANNOT escape, and then beat him to within an inch of his life. Taunt and scold him while you are spanking him. And, when you are finished after 45-60 minutes, or more if you feel like it, pause for something to eat, to rest, whatever, and then give him another session of the same. And then give him a third one if necessary. The key is to order him to submit to a spanking when he DOESN'T want one, and then shame him into taking one anyway.

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    9. A teensy tiny bit extreme.
      Play safe, everyone!

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    10. @juliesp: Yes, it's extreme, but her husband is a total JERK who's BEGGING for a spanking. The solution is to GIVE HIM ONE that he'll never forget! I'd be willing to bet his attitude and behavior towards his wife and children would change for the better... :-)

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    11. OR, he'll decide she's a psychopathic monster who violated his limits and any reasonable notion of his level of consent and either 1) (hopefully) leave her, or 2) retaliate in a remarkable way.

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    12. Call the cops on her ass!

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  6. Ooh! Great post, again... Obviously you have overcome your initial apprehensions on this topic, lol! :) Maybe I should share with my Wife, to improve her technique. Ooh, now that I've posted this, I absolutely cannot, lol!! :)
    Sara

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    1. bad girl, sara.

      Now that you have posted this comment, you absolutely must tell your wife, as anything short of that would be disobedient and deceitful, which should not be tolerated.

      Good luck with your subsequent beating, dear.

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  7. Miss Julie,
    Great post and I'm sure it will be a big help to many ladies out there. I for one can speak personally about how good your advice works as Dianne took everything you told her in the beginning to heart. The pictures you posted look hauntingly familiar. In fact I'm still sporting some bruises from spanking earlier this week.

    bob s.

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    1. I am very glad to hear that, bob. I read about your temper tantrum and am glad you were properly dealt with.

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  8. What' the worst is after hearing about this mt cock is hard wtf hearing and thinkng about getting the punishment you describe is awesome but the actual punishment sucks during it,Your husband is a lucky man my wife tries to spank me but dosnt like hurting me.


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    1. Yes. All you subby boys are the same. The thought of such a beating makes you hard and makes you want to jerk off. But the reality of it limpens you quickly, and makes you very sorry you ever asked for spankings in the first place.

      That is why a good beating is so effective. Some part of you wants it, so you submit to it, but then it really is punishment, and you will change your behaviour to avoid another one (for the next few weeks at least).

      I also enjoy doling out the middle of the road spankings, because it solidifies who is in charge, who wears the pants in the family. But I don't fool myself for one minute that it is punishment: it's more like woman-on-top sex, and something he wants, and I am happy to give him things he wants when he is behaving well. It's actually more reward than punishment for subby boys.

      Until a subby feels a real honest to goodness punishment beating that he does not want to repeat, he is just topping from the bottom. The true test of his submissiveness is whether he will submit to a beating like this, and kiss your feet afterwards.

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    2. Now what you have said here is so very true, Ms Julie. That is how our DD lifestyle sort of started out at first. Indeed I WAS topping from the bottom and not really letting her take the control she needed to have. Certainly can't say that now. Even though I did and/or still do get physically excited at the prospect of a spanking, she makes sure it goes away if it's for punishment and not pleasure.

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  9. As always another bulge inducing read Julie I adore the underlying theme that the more you inflict upon David the more he will love you for it. I sure do agree that if your going to administer punishment , it should not be forgotten readily.
    I think 300 strokes is an extraordinary amount and I know that if I was on the receiving end of such a severe spanking with the implements that I have , my ass would look considerably worse. Either I have a none so enduring ass or your implements are not as severe. What's your thoughts Julie and do you think I could withstand one of your famous thrashings ? Great post . Tks

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    1. It depends both on the implement and on how hard you go with each swat. I have gotten the job done with 50 strokes if I go full bore, but I like drawing it out more so not every stroke is therefore a scorcher.

      As to whether you, or any male, could withstand the thrashing, well that's the point of the restraints, isn't it? You would have to "withstand" it. You certainly wouldn't be injured from smacks to your rump, though you may be thinking otherwise as my strap sears your naughty ass. Ha Ha!

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    2. I know I couldn't "take it."

      Of course, when restrained, you'd have to lay there for it, for sure. But, if the pain is intense and prolonged enough, hopefully, your body starts to shut down and you go limp or lose consciousness, especially if breathing became difficult (as I'm sure it would, especially with the ball gag).

      If not, then I'd work really hard on learning how to dissociate. My wife was beaten severely as a child, and that's how she survived it.

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    3. I think you miss the point!
      This is for people who enjoy this sort of thing and really want to "take it". The restraints are there as a psychological aid to get the sub to imagine they have no control and thus go deeper. A good domme knows her sub's limits and takes him just pass them. If a subby but strong male jumps up in the middle of a beating they may later regret it, so they ask to have that choice removed from them.

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    4. As long as he truly likes it. I can never tell when I read some of these blogs quite honestly.

      I think I'm just too big a wimp. I've had many sessions with many dommes going back 25 years, but that would give me PTSD.

      I hope the women don't reading this don't feel the need to replicate what you've should their man ask for a spanking. I can assure you, we're not all looking for that.

      As long as everyone's actually enjoying themselves, carry on!

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    5. Correction: "replicate what you've done should their man ask for a spanking."

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    6. Actually, there is something I don't get.

      You said "This is for people who enjoy this sort of thing . . . " Yet, you also said that with respect to your intense beatings that your husband is eager to avoid them for weeks after receiving one and that "Until a subby feels a real honest to goodness punishment beating that he does not want to repeat, he is just topping from the bottom."

      So, how is it your husband is enjoying these beatings he would never want to repeat, i.e., the kind of beatings he must endure to avoid the stigma of a person who "tops from the bottom"?

      I mean, his bottom looks like it lost a gang fight. If that is not "past his limits," what could those limits possibly be?

      I really want to know this because it's unclear whether your husband wants the types of restrained, gagged, severe beatings you're giving him or not, and it seems breathtakingly cruel.

      I don't even know the guy, and I find myself concerned about his well being!

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    7. He actually does crave a repeat, but it's a love/hate sort of thing for him. The craving is counteracted by the pain and intensity of it for several weeks time, but his craving always eventually comes back and he wants another one to push his own limits. It's what we do, and is entirely 100% consensual.

      As for topping from the bottom, there are degrees of that. A submissive who always keeps his spankings within his own limits and stops you when you get close to them is a mild form of that. A sub needs to trust his domme to take him just beyond (but not too far beyond) those limits, as that is where the action really is.

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    8. Thanks for explaining that. It actually makes sense. I like being pushed a bit past my limits too, but they are way far south of your husband's limits. My limits would be his warm up. He is one tough dude.

      Having said all that, the part about kissing your feet afterward rocks.

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  10. Julie my wife is keen to rub tiger balm into my cheeks after a similar dose of punishment,as described above with David. Do you think that would be wise in your experience?

    I hear that a strong spanking after the male has been milked makes the beating even more unbearable. Is there any truth in this do you think ?

    Keep up the great work !!!

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    1. Definitely making him cum first considerably increases the punishment aspects. But I enjoy mixing the two aspects, so like his balls nice and full during his thrashing.

      I have never tried Tiger Balm. I will get some and let you know.

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  11. "...Honestly, five minutes of practice is all it takes. We're not talking rocket science here..."

    A most awesome quote. You need to take a picture of david's reddened ass (I'm assuming none of the above are him), and have it and the quote printed on a Tee-shirt. This could be your uniform (maybe also your strapon w/ Adam poking out) when beating your man!

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    1. I was all like "I need to practice" and so tried it out beating the pillow, but honest to goodness I got bored after 5 minutes and felt there was not a lot more to learn on the physical end. I was hitting as hard as anything and was dead on accurate. Maybe I'm a natural, or maybe it's just not that hard!

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  12. Julie,

    I love this post and your doing a great service for those who might be a little timid in the beginning.
    I can recall that first email I sent you asking for advice since this was new to me. And your reply was something like you described here. I do remember you saying though a good rule of thumb was to aim low on his butt because that's where the most padding is. And if I miss and hit his thighs that he'd scream like a wild banshee but it wouldn't cause him any harm. You also told me to ignore his pleas and crocodile tears and give him the spanking he deserved.
    As bob stated above I took your advice to heart and haven't looked back since. And his behavior has improved dramatically. At first I was spanking him 2 to 3 times a week and now it's about once or twice a month on average. So your right a good ass blistering is very effective and not something they want to repeat.

    Dianne

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    1. I like to think his behaviour improves because you are now giving him what he so obviously needs.

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  13. Your post inspired me to give L. an unscheduled beating (with our trusty carpet beater), even though he had already been soundly paddled and birched over the weekend.

    Nothing like "un cul bien fouetté" as we say in France!

    J(2)

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    1. A "well whipped backside" I take it.
      It puts a smile on my face that L had to suffer because of my blog post.
      Ha Ha!

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    2. Well, his derriére was sore for two days after that - but guess what? He failed to pick up my dress at the dry cleaner's today... and he got six dozen with the martinet (which i had him count out) - followed by 15 minutes of corner time.

      J(2)

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    3. Wonderful! My finger went into my panties as I read that!
      ;-)

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    4. After the whipping he got on Thursday, L. has been exceptionally well-behaved - but, this being the weekend, he was put through his usual paces, which involves bringing me breakfast in bed wearing the summary attire (nothing from the waist down except for a short apron) , and having the list of his morning chores 'printed' on his derrière with the martinet. His performance of those domestic chores was pretty good, and he needed only a couple of reminders over the two days - one with a switch and the other with the kitchen spoon. Good boy! - and he was duly rewarded...

      J(2)

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    5. Oooh. What was his reward?

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    6. I'll leave that to your fertile imagination... Let's just say that a good spanking (or whipping) generates some surprising priapic results... for our mutual satisfaction.

      J(2)



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  14. well u can alway rub baby oil on his butt before you do a good spanking to him it will help with the pain i heard people say might help you get your lesson across to him faster and make him submbit faster too like if you trying get him to admit and say sofrry about something that he refuse to do untill you have him over your lap for the spanking

    second thanks you for this adivce on how to beat your man

    i read whole blog it is very good information to have i think there some female who will refuse punish thir man with good spanking casue scare they will hurt them if course spanking is suppose to hurt

    third some female just may not be into spanking or want spank their man they should read this blog to get idea how to do it i think some mens worried asking there female to punish them

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    1. I agree, mike. Many women I correspond with seem to be squeamish about giving their men what they clearly need: a hard spanking to show them who's boss from time to time!

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    2. true alot of female need to learn how to properly punish there man half time that what the man in their life want is to be punish or spank by the female who love them i think if she really care about him she would take her man over her lap every once awhile to give him a reminder to behave

      iam sure once female get warm up to idea of spanking their man then they will see whole realtionship change and how well behave their man is

      every female is the boss no matter what and show be shown that if men dont understand or think otherwise desver have their butt spanked property as female show she the BOSS

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    3. You are so right mike, we are the boss and you boys better not forget it!

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    4. iam sure if us mens forget who boss THE BOSS will have us over knee with pants down getting A PAINFUL SPANKING AS REMINDER lol

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  15. Wow, very well done ma'am, explicit and direct to the point, ouch!
    I will say, not that it matters, but I just do not like the wording beating. Comes to remind me of beatings with the fist, not what I want to think about. Spanking is the best but I certainly understand the point you are making here and making it crystal clear!
    Thank you
    Always
    Ron

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    1. It's funny, different words trigger people in different ways. I am turned on by the thought of giving my man a "beating". It's so incongruous that 'lil 'ol me could beat my big strong man!

      But I respect the fact that different words may turn you on or off. Rest assured, ron, if we ever were to meet, I would never beat you, i would instead give you such a spanking that you would not sit down for a week, young man!

      ;-)

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    2. Well growing up many spankings I got from my mom were to protect me from a beating from my dad!

      Wow, breathless ma'am and I know you would give me the spanking of my life.

      Alternative, strapping, tanning or the good old whooping from the southern.

      Wow, those words are amazing!!
      Always and with much respect
      Ron

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    3. Thank you ma'am!
      Always
      Ron

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    4. I love "tanning" myself.
      As in, "you've earned yourself a good tanning, young man!"

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    5. Julie
      When I read that...wow yes and very descriptive.
      Always
      Ron

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    6. I had a teacher who always said she would "tan your hide" or "take a stick to ya." I witnessed her applications, and she was quite effective. Today I wonder what it would have felt like as I was too scared of her back then to challenge things directly not that some of my actions deserved "attention." An opportunity lost? Julie, do you support retroactive spanking to correct past behavior?

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    7. Interesting comment, I too heard the tan your hide, alot and it happened alot. I have one neighbor who said it once and to this day wished she did!
      Ron

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    8. I support any kind of spanking of males, you know that!

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    9. Neighbour lady should have tanned your hide, ron, as I'm sure you deserved it!

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    10. It happened a few times growing up but not this lady.....which I must tell you I did take a look in her panty drawer one day when I was feeding her dog! She never knew, she threatened the tanning over my bad lawn mowing...made me do it over!
      Always
      Ron

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    11. If she threatened you for just a bad lawn mowing, just imagine what she would have done had she found you snooping in her panty drawer!

      Oh... but I suppose you have already imagined that...

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    12. Yes ma'am many times, she was the hot lady in town, married no kids and I tended to their house when they were away....many times and especially if she knew it was more than one time and if she ever realized some of her panties were gone!!!

      Always
      Ron

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  16. For me it us always a beach sandal similar to yours that my wife uses on my bottom

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    1. Those can hurt puh-lenty!

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    2. She sometimes uses a wooden soled sandal that hurts like hell

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    3. Mmmmmmm...
      I will have to buy one.

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  17. Hi Julie, when is David up for his next leathering and what is his most common misdemeanour that stokes your ire ? Will it be over the knee or across the bed or subjected to the stool?
    I'm in serious trouble, I've bought a motorbike without my wife's agreement . In your punishment tariff how would that rate ha ? Regards J

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    1. david behaves himself very well. If he does not, then he knows I will give him the ULTIMATE punishment and NOT spank him for a month!

      What he does do to get me lathered up is try to be dominant in bed without permission. He knows saying something like "bend over, slut, you need a good fucking" will earn him a super hard leathering followed by a long hard lesson in bending over and fucking! Ha Ha! I love it when he tries that!

      Delete
  18. from spanked true and hard

    great post wife liked it

    i like extreme spanking over beating

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    1. What's your favourite term to describe getting a leather implement?
      1) a belt whipping
      2) a leathering
      3) a tanning
      4) a strapping
      any more?

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    2. A belt whipping. It sounds the most serious and I associate the phrase with you taking 30 minutes to discipline and derive your pleasure from David's punishment. He gets his 30 minutes of pain and pleasure and then another day of delightful arousal from being belt whipped by his wife.

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    3. I like that one too. I use it a lot. It seems incongruous for a woman to "belt whip" a man. Love it.

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  19. Just some Ideas. Apologies Ms Julie, this might not be the right place for this. Is it possible to email off-topic stuff somewhere else? You just got my juices flowing:
    1) Pink ribbon in david's hair. for when he's just being a big girl about something. Maybe with bubblegum pink lipstick. minimal clothes otherwise.
    2) make him eat something out of a bowl on the kitchen floor, no hands. for when he's like a naughty puppy. Ideally with a puppy tail butt plug. Clothing minimal maybe a collar. Spank before during and after. Can he wag his tail?
    3) spanked every hour on the hour. For when he needs to learn to be punctual. Use cards or dice for numbers of swats. Work from kindest to meanest implement, maybe 6 hours. If he,s late in position, well use your imagination.
    4) apron time. Time in 'just' an apron, for when he's slack with housework. Little while satin apron with scalloped edge and big bow + a list of chores. See if u can resist adding: pink bow or maid cap , maybe a pair of pumps - not too much additions though, he should feel exposed. Tease him mercilessly about that tent in his apron. inspect chores with the list at the end (Well, that's not a very good job is it david? No Ma'am. Sorry Ma'am. ...).
    Enough for now. lill jo.

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    1. You may always email me. Address is next to my 'lil picture top right. But if you did that, my women readers would miss out on your wonderful ideas on how to punish their men! I love them all. Thank you!

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    2. My wife likes to have me wear bra panties garter belt and hose plus 4" heels and a bib apron that ties behind my back and neck when I cook and serve her dinner.

      Leighanne

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    3. Oh does she now?!
      You are a saucy little minx, aren't you?

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  20. Hi Ms Julie,
    I must show this post to my Wife. She is still pretty tentative when giving a punishment spanking.I keep assuring her that I am well padded and can take it. I am a big, tough guy. But D is also strong. I know if she cuts loose,I will be dancing around!
    Thanks for sharing!!

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    1. Hi!

      What shall we call you? I followed your name to your spanking new blog. Welcome! I added you to my blog list on the right, and also got the very first comment up on it. Yeah!

      Yes, please send the link to your wife. I was in her position just over a year ago and in retrospect could have (and should have) spanked david a LOT harder than I did. Give her my email also if she needs a few additional tips on handling a submissive male!

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    2. Thanks for the comment. I am honored that it came from You!
      You can call me Mike.
      I will give her your email,with the fear that she will contact you(or is it the fear that she will not contact you?).I can't promise anything.

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    3. Looking forward to doling out some advice. You are sure in for it now, little mikey!

      Delete
  21. Very interesting post, thanks for writing it. I just now finished reading all your entries, I like your writing style.

    Me and my wife are just now getting into spanking, always with her the giver and me the receiver. She's let me know that she has no interest in getting spanked. This is more play for me, as I'm fairly alpha in real life, so the giving up of power during our scenes is exciting to me. Maybe that is "topping from the bottom"?
    Anyway, not sure I want her to read this. She's fairly restrained in how she spanks me but it still hurts like hell, I don't know if I could handle the intensity that you dish out and describe. I can also very much identify with the statements about not enjoying it as it happens but needing it regardless, its crazy but true. Interestingly, as vanilla as she once was, she's admitted that she enjoys spanking me very much and is very surprised by that fact. Once she realized it didn't have to be reciprocal I think it empowered her to enjoy what she was doing without fear.
    So, thanks for all the good entries and keep them coming!

    Dave

    PS. This is the strap from hell, I've only taken it lightly from what I've been told and its incredibly painful.
    http://www.cane-iac.com/items/rubber~vinyl-toys/curseofdana-detail.htm

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    1. ALL my entries? Really? I hope you studied them all carefully because there's a quiz afterwards, and anything less than 90% gets you a strapping form the "Curse of Dana!"

      What you speak of is not topping from the bottom. It's very healthy to be a perfectly normal couple, and for you to be a good strong alpha male provider, and then to submit to having your wife scene you whenever she feels like it. That is my M.O. as well.

      Topping from the bottom would be if you are in scene, and she's spanking you happily with her hand, and then you say, "oh please oh please oh please don't use a hairbrush on me!" With me, that would earn an instant stop to the scene. Pants up. Sit down at the dining room, and write out 1000 times "I must not top from the bottom". Ha Ha!

      I'm glad your wife has no interest in being spanked and is starting to enjoy whipping your butt, david. That's exactly how it should work. You males need to be put firmly in your place.

      Absolutely send your wife to read this. The thought of not sending her here, after you said that, means it would be deceitful for you not to send her. A lie of omission. A lie that should earn you exactly the strapping I write about above even for just considering it.

      For david's wife: go ahead and beat the dickens out of his little butt! Big strong man can take it. Get him to agree to take fifty as hard as you can with his doubled-up belt. Then just swing that thing and don't worry about it. He'll be back for more within the week no matter what you do to him. Have Fun!

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    2. Ha well I would probably pass that quiz, I have a pretty good memory. To be clear I didn't read them all in one day, but I did start from the beginning because I like the story it tells.

      I will consider having her read this, and while most of your commenters are men I think you do the most service to women (such as Dianne) looking for answers.

      (I still don't think I could take anywhere close to what you prescribe) :)

      Dave

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    3. I'm confused. What does what you think you can take have anything to do with it??? You'll be tied up silly, and ball gagged. You won't be given much of a choice, muffin pants.

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    4. Dave your right Julie does give great advice and I learned a lot from her.
      And I love her reply to your comment. She's right once you've screwed up and are going to get punished your choices are over.

      Dianne

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    5. Julie and Dianne, I appreciate your perspective. I did have my wife read this, she appreciated the advice and the responses. She's mentioned that she might respond on here and I told her she should, I like her being able to talk to other women in similar situations. She did her best last night, even tried to tie me down with straps but I was able to get up. I didn't want to, but I really could't help myself. So, she didn't get anywhere near the intensity she wanted to. We've agreed to try different strategies. I don't want to resist but in the moment I just can't stop. I've told her I have hyper sensitive nerve endings in my butt (only half jokingly).

      Dave

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    6. Were your wife to ask, I would suggest a nice long drawn out spanking, taking her time, gradually building up the intensity, and then backing off, and then building it up again, and then backing off again. Each time she builds up during the session, you will be taking more and more. Mix in a few little fondles of your naughty parts to keep your body confused, and then at it again. Pain and pleasure.

      Oh, and follow my advice. Use two belts on the legs (real leather belts, with buckles, the best are the ones that you can fasten anywhere on them) - one at the ankles, one just above the knees, and tighten them very soundly. Pull extra hard on the belts to get them buckled as they will loosen. And then wrist restraints as well. Sex shop cuffs should do it (I have some leather ones that buckle around each wrist and then fasten together). And then a ball gag. Tight! There is no way your man should be getting up.

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    7. Webbing type belts can be drawn up tighter and they won't slip or loosen. Also, velcro straps can be drawn up very tight and will not slip. velcro can be bought in many lengths and widths. The wider, the less apt to slip. If the "prisoner" is strong enough to break the bond, just use a few more wraps. Velcro can be applied rough side in or soft side in. your choice.
      Observing

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    8. Excellent tips. Thank you!

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    9. Dave's wife here -
      As Dave mentioned, I am new to all this. I am very surprised by how much I enjoy spanking him (especially with all the new toys he has purchased). My hands could just not do the job. In the beginning, Dave hand made some paddles for us to use which reinforced to me how much he wanted this to happen. That knowledge helps me when I see how red his bottom is getting and how much he is whining about the pain. One of the first times we used a paddle I was not in a good position and I managed to injure my shoulder muscles. I ended up with more pain than he did. But he is a sweetie, and took me for a massage that day to work out the muscles. It ended up being a funny memory that we laugh about now. So - one of the first lessons I learned was to make sure that Dave is in a position that makes the paddling motion easy to perform.

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    10. Hi Erika!

      So pleased that you decided to drop in and leave a comment.

      You must not neglect to mix the strict with the softer side of spanking as well. I like to put david across my knee and have him clutch onto one of my ankles, and I even allow him (actually, make him) fondle my ass if we are on a bed or a couch. Then I go nice and long, hard and soft, and teasing as well. No need for any shoulder injuries.

      Then, as you say, for those times when you want more intensity, absolutely put him in exactly the right position so you can swing in an ergonomic manner. But do be sure to fasten him down until he learns to never, ever, get up on you.

      Alternatively, make an agreement with him beforehand that if he gets up he must write lines. About 1000 should ensure that the second time he tries real hard to stay down for you! Consider it all as part of the scene, and that scenes are played how you like them to be played, and end when you say they end - after 1000 lines are written to your satisfaction, for example.

      And please feel free to drop me an email anytime - strictjulie at gmail.com

      Delete
  22. Hi Julie, in your experience is it better to start a spanking with an intro spank to pave the way for what is to come . In other words light to medium strokes before the gasp inducing ones arrive. Or do you prefer straight into harsh punishment mode type strokes? When I'm spanked I seem to cope with a warm up initially before the ass blisterers meet up!
    Once I was paddled with my pyjamas on for the first twelve and the she lowered them for the ensuing twenty four.
    Would you entertain spanking with say pants or pyjamas ? I think I know the answer but I enjoy your response so much .
    Avid reader TH

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I usually do a warm up as well. That is merciful. When I am not feeling merciful, even the very first will sear his bum. Pure hellfire in that case for the first 100 until he numbs.

      I would entertain spanking over pyjamas. Say there is a new woman over, and he misbehaves, I would spank him like that to get his hopes up that he won't have to take it on the bare in front of her.

      Delete
  23. Great post, Julie, and a solid primer for those women who are just starting out or desirous of escalating things.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, mitch. Far too many women take it way too easy on their subby husbands. A bum is the place God intended for a husband to be spanked.

      Delete
  24. Hi Julie,
    Over the past few years I've introduced my wife to spanking and initially it was I that spanked her lightly during sex and although she enjoyed the experience she wasn't so taken with it that she wanted me to do it regularly and certainly not with any vigour. She did however begin to accept and enjoy spanking me. This involved paddling,caning and strapping and quite a repertoire has been acquired. I personally have been drawn to spanking for as long as I can remember.
    My issue is that I want my lifestyle to change more to a stubby lifestyle so that I am regularly punished and threatened to be spanked when I do things wrong or misbehave. My wife knows this and basically says I will get a hard spanking when I do this right but it doesn't seem the same to get a red ass for being good. Do you think it's possible to reverse this or will I have to shut up and put up or can you advise an alternative route.

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    Replies
    1. I don't actually give david spankings and humiliation for being good, strictly speaking. If he genuinely is being an ass, I'll just not play with him, and if he asks why we aren't playing, I'll tell him. So most of the time he is a decent considerate husband (as a result, or anyways, or a combination of them both).

      Given this basic state of being decent, I play with him by finding fault, and punishing strictly. I will never tell him "if you're good, I'll give you a hard spanking." That runs totally counter to his fantasies. Rather, if he has done the laundry, for example, purely spontaneously, then I'll want to play because he has been such a good boy. So I'll take one of my blouses, point out to him some wrinkles in it, become livid with him, and spank the crap out of his sorry ass! Along the way I will scold him and act very angry with him. That is what he wants. After his spanking, he can be forgiven and cuddled, which is also part of what he craves.

      Delete
    2. Julie, I fully agree with you! L. gets his comeuppance when he has deserved it - but I must admit it doesn't need much in the way of "misdemeanors" to get me in the mood to wallop or to flog his derrière!

      I rather enjoy to keep him guessing as to when he has crossed the line - and is likely to end up across my lap - but, then again, he will, often enough, understand that he deserves to be spanked or whipped, and willingly lower his trousers and offer his bare backside to my not-so-tender mercies...

      J(2)

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    3. Hmmmmm....
      I like the way you put things, J(2)!

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    4. Thanks, Julie!

      L. has been unusually well-behaved lately -which means there has been no occasion for him to "volunteer" by offering his derrière for a whipping (and/or by spontaneously bringing me the martinet)

      This doesn't prevent me from spanking him 'in the manner to which he is accustomed' (i.e. twice a week at least) - not to mention the 'reminders' he routinely gets over the weekend while performing his domestic chores!

      And, now that weather permits, we are resuming our hikes into the woods - with the ever-present prospect of an open-air switching!...

      J(2)

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  25. Hi Ms Julie, I couldn't agree more with the above statement , the ass is for punishment and fun of course!
    I've been so so bored at work that I spent many hours trawling the net on my phone and found something that looks very appealing to me and I wondered whether you had heard of it. Or better still used it. It's called a humbler. A wooden vice like object that is curved in shape,hinged and with wing nuts either end to trap a mans (David's) ball bag in. It is approximately 13 inches long and once the bag is secure into it, it sits at the back of the thighs pulling the balls backwards and towards his ass. In an all fours position or bent over it is bearable however if the recipient tries to move or get up the 'humbler' pulls dramatically on his jewels and is immensely uncomfortable. In fact once on it is impossible to stand unless of course he has a ball bag like a deflating air balloon! What do you think and would it be a good addition to your box of tools . Moreover shall I get one because I think in those positions and being so disabled I would have to take a tanning of a lifetime ? Avid reader TH

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I know of the humbler and have seen photos, but have not yet used a real one on david. I would like to. I get pretty close by making him put his cock and balls behind his legs, and then securing his legs together with a belt, very high on the thighs, so that the belt helps keeps his cock and balls behind him, but it is mainly his closed legs that keep the there.

      As for a humbler, he really cannot stand. When I make him try, he looks silly, and it looks like he has a pussy from the front.

      From the back, his cock and balls are right out there. I have given him strappings and belt whippings like that, and he is always very afraid that his balls will get busted by my strap. But I am a good aim, and the strap may whistle very close, but I haven't hit them yet!

      It is also a good position because in between strokes, I can play with him and get him very close to cumming. He says the pressure makes it harder for him to cum (which is good, as he has a little problem in that department), but when he does cum, it's very explosive (I've seen that first hand - it jets out much farther when he finally cums).

      Sometimes I will alternately play with him and whip his ass for a long time. Get him very excited, then whip it all out of him, and then repeat.

      Delete
  26. Julie, I was always told that if it's intended for punishment, it's intended to hurt. One disciplinarian even promised that the first stroke would be the worst, and she was right. It was pure hellfire for the entire spanking.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stop saying those things and turning me on so much, mitch!

      I find I often moderate my behaviour because of my responsibility to my subbie. I've seen some videos where the subbie takes what I can only imagine is an extreme amount of pain without hardly reacting. I don't think I would want a subbie with that much pain tolerance. I would want a subbie with a low pain tolerance, and then what really turns me on is the thought of going super hard on them from the very first stroke until the very last, and make them really suffer for me under my strap. OMG I am such a bad woman!

      Delete
    2. ooooooooooooooops. I'm sorry, Julie. Are my comments spankable? Then again, is anything not spankable? :)

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    3. Yes. Definitely! Making me dampen my panties is always a spankable offence!

      Delete
    4. thought you didnt wear panties would my comment be a spankable offence and should i drop my pants and assume postions

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    5. Sometimes i do, sometimes i don't (in winter I generally do!)

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  27. if i bought you pair of sandal or hand you pair of sandal and said miss julie i been Naughty boy would you spank me hard or give me good spanking what would you do?

    do you ever look at pair of sandal or see sandal any where do you think about how you use it to spanked david

    do you even think what awesome spanking implement these sandal can be?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ever since I've gotten into spanking david, I am always on the lookout for "pervertibles", everyday items that can be used to give a spanking. So yes, definitely!

      Delete
    2. that funny i do same thing i look around and think who this could be something good to spank with bet it would hurt

      few times i been inside kitchen gadget store in mall i seen female salewomen i wanted ask her to spank me with wooden spoon or spatula even want tell her looking for some to be spanked with

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  28. Hello Ms Julie, I earlier spoke a out a humbler and franklyy curiosity is getting the better of me. I'm going to order one tonight. Upon arrival I will test it and give you my verdict . The thought if my balls poking out the back and being very vulnerable is too much ha.
    What do you think your next topic will be about ?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When it arrives, please lock yourself into it and send me a photo. I doubt anybody will be able to recognize you from that angle...

      Delete
  29. What I'm not clear about, and I think I've read all of your posts, is when does David get this type of beating? Is it solely for something he does wrong (like masturbate) or is it simply to keep him in focus and centered because you feel he needs it?

    leigh

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    1. Good for you for paying attention, leigh. I don't blog about every spanking I give him. He will get a harder spanking like this when there is something he has done that I would rather he not do.

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    2. Now that is a well blistered ass & deserving???

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  30. Dear Julie,
    I read the fantastic 'good boy spanking' post and was wondering whether this was the 'bad boy' version or are there other details required for one of those?
    Julietv xxx

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    Replies
    1. This is pretty much the "bad boy" version. Perhaps add in a ginger root up his butt and some time sitting on the sandpaper stool!

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  31. L. got a lot of "proper" whippings over the summer while we were (as usual) vacationing in Europe, and he has been regularly (and frequently!) disciplined over the past few months - but, as my sister is currently visiting (having flown in on the day before Thanksgiving to spend ten or twelve days with us), L. was instructed to fetch a fresh batch of maple switches which are being put to good use every day- along with the martinet, the kitchen spoons, the strap - and the rattan cane!

    J(2)

    J(2)

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    1. Excellent! A well whipped young man!

      Delete
    2. Not so young, I'm afraid - but surely "well whipped"!

      B. (my sister) stayed with us until St. Nicholas' Day (Dec.6), which is - in N. France. the Low Countries and Germany - the day when St. Nick brings toys and sweets to good boys... and whippy switches to the naughty ones.

      Guess what L. got - and from both of us!

      But, pretty soon, it will be time to honor another "tradition": the Twelve Days of Christmas, during which L's derrière will be treated to a different tool every night - from Dec. 25 through Jan. 6...

      J(2)

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    3. L's derrière got a well-earned break after that series ended (and he was also particularly well-behaved!), but the time has now come to resume his disciplinary sessions - and he got the martinet last night. This coming weekend, the usual routine will again be in force...

      J(2)

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    4. ... with an "advance delivery" two hours ago this Friday night (for a good reason, I must admit!)... Fifty with the leather belt! And, tomorrow morning, the usual weekend program!

      L.

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    5. L. was exceptionally diligent while performing his usual weekend chores, and required only two floggings (with the martinet) - but he got a serious paddling last night (under the eyes of my friend P.) followed by a 30 minute spell of 'corner time' - which P. and I both enjoyed!

      J(2)

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  32. Sissy Jamieanne5 March 2014 at 07:18

    Miss Julie! You are truly an amazing woman! The world needs more women who know exactly how to control a man! Your disciplinary methods are severe and painful, but not abusive...I love the way you discuss it so "clinically"...so matter-of-factly! Thank you, Ma'am for sharing your lifestyle and methods!

    Respectfully,

    Sissy Jamieanne

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wrote this blog entry because a number of women were emailing me wanting to spank their men. I thought some more step-by-step instructions would be helpful.

      Delete
  33. I really enjoyed reading about how you spank David.
    My wife and I have been involved in an FLR for about 4yrs now.
    She practices domestic discipline in its true sense.
    When I am spanked, it hurts. A lot!
    There are 2 types of spanking. The first is disciplinary.
    Disciplinary spanking is done without restraints and I am required to maintain position until told that it's over.
    Her preferred implement is the rubber strap.
    It's called the "curse of Dana". I can assure you of its effectiveness.
    The second is punishment spanking.
    This type of spanking always involves being fully restrained.
    In our guest bedroom there is a queen sized bed that has restraints already in place so that I can be easily secured within minutes.
    When I am punished, there's no warm up.
    She goes right to it hard and severe.
    The pain is extremely intense and I have a healthy fear of being punished by her.
    Every Saturday morning we do what is called
    "Journal inspection".
    That is a review of the weeks behavior. Anything that's been put in the journal has typically been dealt with already.
    But it's also used to see patterns in my behavior that she might want to focus on.
    The primary reason is to keep track of how often my behavior warrants being dealt with.
    The more there is in the journal. The worse the mandatory punishment spanking will be.
    I have been on the receiving end of some pretty brutal beatings that leaves my behind with many welts and bruises. Even a little blood.
    But the truth is, I consider myself very fortunate to be able to experience that level of control and dominance by my wonderful wife.
    Every time it's hurting so bad I can barely endure. I tell myself that I'd rather be here than not.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I know that rubber strap. I've used it on david before and he HATES it.

      Sounds like you're kept well in hand by your wife, which puts a great big smile on my face. If you want to be spanked less severely, try behaving yourself better!

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    2. Thank you, if you would like I would be more than happy to email a photo of me on the bed during a beating.

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    3. Oh YES please! strictjulie at gmail

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  34. Hi Julie. My wife has finally started spanking me a little bit, but I think she is afraid to really go for it. I have trouble feeling like she is really in control. I fantasize daily about bawling like a child over my wife's knee, but she just spanks until it starts to hurt, and then she let's me whine my way out of it. I truly think she likes it, but is just hesitant. I think men who look like a little boy "down there" should be easier to treat like one. I would ask her to tease me about that too, but I'm way too embarrassed. Please help us.

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    1. Happy to help! please send me an email.

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  35. Hi Julie.
    My wife enjoys spanking me, and I enjoy being spanked by her.
    In fact, it was an integral part of our first date, at a dungeon party.
    We tried having a Female-Led Relationship with Domestic Discipline, but gave it up, after concluding, we do better in a share-and-share alike relationship, and figuring out that DD doesn't work on me as punishment; but rather, withholding spankings would be a punishment. AND we both concluded, 'punishment' is not something that needs to be included in our real, adult, relationship.
    So, we engage in FUNishments.
    AND we started video-recording our sessions, and selling them on clips4sale, making a few extra bucks of side money, too.
    So, you might say, she spanks me for fun AND profit.
    I could send you a pic, or pix of 'during' or after, if you're interested, but I wouldn't send any without your permission, first.
    Best!
    Shilo

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    1. A lovely evolution of a relationship!

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  36. Following is how my wife and I started a spanking femdom life style. She was reluctant at first but has learned not to hold back. I wait on her had and foot and do all the house work - As it should be.

    A Proposal

    I plead with you, and I beg you to accept this proposal. It is a way to satisfy my needs to be controlled and submissive to you with little effort on your part.

    You have beat my ass with your whip in the past and you know that it does no harm to me. I sincerely need you to discipline me. It is a necessary feature in my need and commitment to serve you. Most important it provides a release valve for my built up stress and frustration. I always feel so good in the days that follow a whipping. A whipping from you is not just a punishment, it is an act of love and a provider of therapy. I would be greatly pleased if you find it to be a creative and satisfying activity.

    I will put a shot glass in some inconspicuous place. I will put a penny in the glass and note why anytime you are displeased with me for any reason - Bringing a weed in with the parsley is a fantastic example. The following list provides a guideline. I will try my very best to avoid any infractions. When there are five or more pennies in the glass, at the first opportunity of privacy, I will inform you and present your whip to you. You will give me five strokes on my bare ass for each one of the pennies in the glass. Therefore, five pennies would amount to 25 strokes. I will count them for you.

    List of Infractions

    1. Any back talk, argument or unkind word to you.
    2. Empty, or near empty, soap dispenser, toilet paper, paper towels or tissues.
    3. Anytime you find the toilet in an unclean condition.
    4. Anytime the house is not cleaned before the week end. Or needs additional cleaning - Leaves on the floor.
    5. Anytime you have to remind me to take out the trash.
    6. Forgetting to replace the trash bag.
    7. Anytime you have to remind me to take out the garbage.
    8. Conduct unbecoming of a slave. Anytime my actions or behavior annoys you or displeases you in any way.

    I promise that I will do my best to fulfill my obligation to you and this list. A severe punishment of 25 or more strokes will be enough to ensure that I try to avoid whippings as much as possible. However, I do need them to keep me on my toes as your slave and to provide the stress relief that I need.

    With all of my love and desire to serve you. Your slave Husband.

    Note: She has grown into this and has increased the number of strokes significantly. I often am sore for a couple of days and black and blue for longer.
    I have never loved her more than I do now.

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  37. If you like spanking ,wich ads "pepper in man/womans relations",Why don't you use a MARTINET with their 10 thick leather tails it really stings your ass,And it make's you remember your chilhood when mummy use to spank us with the house Martinet ,every mum had one in France and put on aswell a nice "NYLON BUTTONED OVERALL too try it it's TERRIFIC!.Especialy whe it's your wife buttoned up in her nylon overal and holdind the MARTINET READY TO SPANK YOU WITH IT !!

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    1. I have some pretty fierce instruments myself, and would love to try a martinet!

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  38. Thank you Anonymous for your comment ,but you must be french like I am too!Because up to 1984 the Martinet was reserved for mothers who used to whip their boys and girls with it and even sometimes up to the age of 17 or 18 like in our home!.And since them the french leather Martinet has become a pleasure spanking toy between men and women,but the sting on your ass is allways there!and after receiving 15 hard stokes it hurts so much that you can hardly sit down for a couple of days,so when I wip my wife with it she knows that she's going to have problems siiting down,and visa-versa,when it's my turn to get whipped it's the same for me but as you stated it's does add more pleasure in our relations !As for the nylon buttoned overalls that too I agree with you there are still ( fabricant de blouses en nylon) in France and actualy a very big one in the PAS DE CALAIS in northen France,but you've got others else where in all the regions of France.Me and my wife we still have our old school nylon overalls ,but they are getting a bit small for us now,so going on the french site " EBAY.FR BLOUSES EN NYLON" ( I beleive you can write to them in English ) we found lovely nylon overalls especialy long one's buttoned in front-on the side or in the back with it's true those big 3 cm plastic buttons ,and when you have a row of 14 to button up ,!...But you would be surprise of the number of couples who like wearing nylon overalls at homme and speaking of the Martinet ,not so long ago i went to our freinds house and what did we see hange up in the corridor a superb long Martinet alltogether it was 1meter long ! the wooden handle wae 4 cm in diameter and 40cm long and the 25 red bright leather tails 1cm large were 60cm long !!,I took it in my hand and asked my freind and his wife what do you use it for ,their faces became red and told me oh! thats for our girls when they are not good and aswell for the flies ans wasps in summer!.but I was not fooles ,and a matter of fact my wife taking it in her hands too asked our freinds where did you get it it's a superb one ,and thet started to blutter again oh,well :well I ,i think on "EBAY.FR3 and what did you write oh oh hem ,just long Marinets §Well my wife answerd that's good to know!A matter of fact my wife did find it on the site thet told us on, EBAY.FR and wrte long Martinets and we received not lond ago as for the price a being "second hand,we paid only 16 euros !!.Now coming back of the pleasure of putting on nylon buttoned overalls ,2 months agi I orderd 2 lovely long yellow nylon overalls with buttons on the side ans in summer or when the weather is good we go down on our lawn just wearing them with nothing underneath ,wow ,try it it's unbeateble!

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    1. Have you felt that martinet across your ass yet?

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    2. J(2) uses her martinet at least once a week - and other "tools" the rest of the time - and so did N., my (late) first wife. Both of them bought their martinet in small drygoods stores in two different parts of France ... with me in tow, in both cases - and rather embarrassed by having to pay for it after hearing them tell an approving (female) store owner how it would be used !
      L.

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    3. Very humiliating for you!

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    4. Yes indeed - and I admit I was red-faced ... but that was nothing compared to the color of my derrière when the martinets were put to use! J(2) had heard the story from N. and, fifteen years later, thought it would be "fun" - at least for her - to repeat the scene (albeit in a different location)
      L.

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    5. Yes indeed - and I admit I was red-faced ... but that was nothing compared to the color of my derrière when the martinets were put to use! J(2) had heard the story from N. and, fifteen years later, thought it would be "fun" - at least for her - to repeat the scene (albeit in a different location)
      L.

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    6. N's martinet (and some of her other 'tools') were still around when L. and I started dating -and I used it for a while, until I felt I should acquire my own - which, following N's example, now hangs of the kitchen wall, where it can be noticed by some of my close friends - just as I had (in earlier circumstances)

      J(2)

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    7. J(2) has lately been using the bathbrush - a recent addition to her already extensive panoply - but the cold weather thus far has delayed any forays into the woods (and their usual consequences)

      L.

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    8. Well, the weather is still too cold for an outdoors switching, but your weekend chores (indoors) will begin tomorrow morning in the usual way - and with the usual consequences if you don't perform them to my satisfaction!

      J(2)

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    9. Two beautiful weeks in a row, and two ventures into the woods - with some nice switch marks on L's backside - but, indoors, the kitchen spoon and the martinet are still busy!

      J(2)

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    10. Two beautiful weeks in a row, and two ventures into the woods - with some nice switch marks on L's backside - but, indoors, the kitchen spoon and the martinet are still busy!

      J(2)

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  39. In one of your posts you mentioned that "A sub needs to trust his domme to take him just beyond (but not too far beyond) those limits, as that is where the action really is."

    In your husband's case, what are the "limits" and what do you see and hear with him restrained and ball-gagged that tells you whether you should not go any farther?

    You're advocating some fairly extreme punishment on here without much guidance on safety, and some of your readers may take it literally, to their husband's severe detriment.

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    1. First of all you need lots of experience with your man. Experience playing with safe words, and experience when he is not gagged and restrained. And after each and every session you get feedback from him. Once you've done that a hundred times or so you know how much he can take, and you you know where he's at from his body's reaction.

      Specifically I use my eyes to see the extent of the marks. I know where to strike him. I watch his body o see its reactions. there is some "shaking" when it is far along. And there is sweating. And there are tears. And there is the odor of his sweat. There are many such reactions which you learn along the way.

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    2. Here and elsewhere, I've seen the dommes exchanging tips on how to inflict pain. Here are some pain control strategies for subs who are overwhelmed by their beatings and whose cries fall on deaf ears:

      Eleven specific imagery and chronic pain control techniques that are effective for pain control include:

      Altered focus

      This is a favorite technique for demonstrating how powerfully the mind can alter sensations in the body. Focus your attention on any specific non-painful part of the body (hand, foot, etc.) and alter sensation in that part of the body. For example, imagine your hand warming up. This will take the mind away from focusing on the source of your pain, such as your back pain.

      Dissociation

      As the name implies, this chronic pain technique involves mentally separating the painful body part from the rest of the body, or imagining the body and mind as separate, with the chronic pain distant from one’s mind. For example, imagine your painful lower back sitting on a chair across the room and tell it to stay sitting there, far away from your mind.

      Sensory splitting

      This technique involves dividing the sensation (pain, burning, pins and needles) into separate parts. For example, if the leg pain or back pain feels hot to you, focus just on the sensation of the heat and not on the hurting.

      Mental anesthesia

      This involves imagining an injection of numbing anesthetic (like Novocain) into the painful area, such as imagining a numbing solution being injected into your low back. Similarly, you may then wish to imagine a soothing and cooling ice pack being placed onto the area of pain.

      Mental analgesia

      Building on the mental anesthesia concept, this technique involves imagining an injection of a strong pain killer, such as morphine, into the painful area. Alternatively, you can imagine your brain producing massive amount of endorphins, the natural pain relieving substance of the body, and having them flow to the painful parts of your body.

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    3. Yikes. No doubt effective, but for my part I wouldn't want to take my sub that far that they needed to escape.

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    4. I came across these when some subs posted on another blog about how they were about to have their first adult spanking asked how people endure it and how they were afraid.

      Maybe your sub doesn't need to escape. I don't really know. However, this original post on how to beat your man was reprinted on "someonesgonnagetit.com" and was also undoubtedly read by some people, including FLR-DD wives, who don't use safe words and don't have any "limits". They don't do the things you said you did to read your sub safely and make sure he's OK.

      The original post advocated the type of beating where I'm sure many subs would want to use the types of techniques I've quoted here. In particular, you said:

      "Don't be concerned about the sounds that come out of him. You can easily smack him hard enough to get a spine-curdling scream from him without injuring him. This has happened many times with me. It sounds like you're killing him, and he's just fine as soon as the beating is over. Just something you need some experience with.

      I personally like beating him until I see some bruising. Red is not even in question: he should be deep red. Beat him until you see him really sweating. If he is not stinky and sweating, you are not going hard enough. There should also be tears in his eyes. It's not that he cries exactly, it's more like the pain is just so great that the tears leak out on their own.

      For a proper beating, keep at it for at least thirty minutes, something around 300 strokes or so should get the message across."

      That is a very severe beating that many cannot tolerate. When you are restrained, you are forced to "tolerate" it. However, at some point your mind looks for a way out. The dissociation technique is one that sometimes kicks in involuntarily. I know because my wife taught herself how to do it to deal with her stepfather's beatings.

      I'm seeing posts on FLR-DD sites about pretty vicious beatings without safewords or any agreed upon limits. These are not skilled dommes. Anyone who is not fairly masochistic and an experienced sub would benefit from some way to escape the pain.

      I got these from a website on managing chronic pain, although I was already familiar with the dissociation technique and the rest of them made sense to me.

      So, for any subs who find themselves having great difficulty with the beatings you are getting, I hope these techniques help.

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    5. I had one of the more intense spankings I've received from a pro today. The dissociation technique worked really well. When I looked at my ass afterward, I couldn't believe how beat up it was, yet I got through it without safewording, screaming, or crying.

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    6. I hope there was at least some little tears and begging?

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    7. Sorry to disappoint, but neither of those happened. It was a very unique session, one that no one has asked her for. It wasn't nearly as intense as what you do. It would take a lot of practice for me to "check out" for what you do. However, it did get intense for a while, and I was able to use the technique well. I was really surprised at the level of marking when I saw it at the end.

      Turns out the Navy Seals teach people how to do it to withstand torture.

      The other technique is to focus your breathing on the site of the pain, as if you're breathing in and out at that location. It helps to keep you from fighting it and to accept it, which ultimately makes it more tolerable.

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    8. Actually, no matter how bad it is, I don't beg. I have yet to read about any domme who heeds pleas for mercy, so I don't bother. I will scream, groan, shake, hyperventilate (even pray out loud) and do those sorts of things that I'm sure you enjoy seeing. However, in this particular session, I was able to avoid all of that.

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    9. See, that's disappointing to me. I insist that my partner vocalize what he is feeling, and we both enjoy him begging for it to stop, even knowing it might have the opposite effect on me!

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    10. I often vocalize, but there's a huge part of me that does not want to "give in" by doing so. So, even when I groan, scream, shake, breath really rapidly, etc., I don't beg.

      This was a pretty different role play. I'm using it as a kind of therapy. I said a lot while it was happening. I expressed what I was feeling, but it was by projecting how I felt being beaten in what I said to her. I told her how I processed what she was doing, and in some ways goaded her. I was "pushing back" verbally. I know that probably makes no sense. I was lucky to find someone who had the brains and the interest to do it, and she nailed it. For some reason, I find it therapeutic.

      I wasn't too worried about her disappointment. She got paid $350.

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    11. As another strategy for husbands who are subjected to the type of beatings advocated in this post, try taking copious amounts of aspirin. It will cause an earlier onset to heavy bruising, and at least if the skin breaks, the bleeding will be more intense. At least in some cases, this may make your wife discontinue the punishment, at least if she has any real concern about harming you.

      http://rwddhw.blogspot.com/2016/09/flr-husbands-use-of-aspirin-during.html

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    12. Well that's just cheating!

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    13. A guy has to do what a guy has to do in the face of a merciless wife and restraints that prevent escape.

      If you work at hyperventilating, I am told you can make yourself pass out, which also forces your wife to consider whether to keep going or stop and revive you so she can continue.

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  40. In France back in the 60's,70's and 80's it was'nt a fun instument,all our mothers had one hung up generaly on a nail on the kitchen wall ready to use on our asses!(boys and girls ) and up to the age of 18 sometimes too!Letting alone that we were allways wearing those long Nylon overalls with big plastic buttons,and for the boys it was heads shaved with the beret to hide your baldness !Our mothers too of course were allways too in their very long and large nylon overalls +a plastic cap on their heads and underneath their long nylon overalls they wore coutil corsets laced and with large suspenders to hold up their stockings!Because when at home and receiving a Martinet whipping,you had to get on your mothers knees,so as their nylon overalls were thin you could feel their corsets and their large suspenders to hold up their stockings,and after the whipping you was put in the corner bending down with your hands on your head and if you moved as the Martinet was still on the table mum would pick it up and straighten you back again with her damned Martinet ! Concerning where our mothers bought them ,they were sold in ironmongers-Toy shops-or on the Market places,where I can remember the merchants selling them ,they were hung high up with their leather atis blowing in the wind,but that's the way it was in France in those days It was just the norm!

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    1. "Good old days" for kinky boys and girls!

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    2. Those "good old days" live on! I didn't experience it as a kid, but (later on) N. got hold of a sturdy martinet some time after we were married - ans used it often enough! Later, J. (who had watched it being used) made sure to get one of her own, which means that there are two of them in our household, although only one of them is 'on display' on the kitchen wall. Those were purchased in France (and paid by me!) -the first one ca.1978 and the second one ca. 2005. Both N. and J. have made sure to pack the martinet in their suitcase when we travel - to be used (if needed) in our hotel room.

      L.

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    3. Rest assured that the martinet (and the hairbrush) will again be packed in my suitcase when we travel to Europe next month! They will almost certainly be used - along with some of her own "tools" - while we stay at my sister's vacation home in Burgundy... and later in several of the inns where we will be putting up for a night or two - as has been the case on a number of earlier occasions!

      J(2)

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    4. The martinet and the hairbrush were indeed used a few times in hotel rooms this Summer, but the most 'memorable' occasion was in Burgundy when B. (my sister-in-law) retrieved an old, thick, paddle of the sort used (in the past) by village women to wash their laundry at the community 'lavoir'... I had been given a brief taste of it five years ago, but this time I got the full treatment from the two of them - and couldn't sit without wincing for t hree days...

      L.

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    5. I am glad you appreciate B's expertise (and mine!) Be thankful we only used it once!

      J(2)

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    6. Whether B. comes to visit for Thanksging or (more likely) over Xmas, I hope she doesn't pack that paddle in her suitcase! Meanwhile, she has heard (over the phone) how you apply the kitchen spoon or the hairbrush - both more sonorous than the martinet or the rattan cane, or even the leather strap!

      L.

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    7. Well, it seems that B. will not be coming to visit for Thanksging (as she told me earlier today - after listening to the way you whimpered while I smacked your derrière with that wooden spoon!) but rather for Xmas... and that means you will (again!) have to endure the "twelve days of Xmas" experience - as you already did a few times :-)

      Meanwhile, of course, we will observe Thanksgiving* as we have done many times before...

      J(2)

      * aka "Spanksgiving"

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  41. A couple of comments/questions..suggestions. Cornertime called "nose and toes" with the toes and nose against the wall is very uncomfortable holding a paper or coin against the wall with nose while hands are locked behind his back. Is a warmup something that goes with an erotic spanking but not a serious punishment one?
    Also, when his bottom is spanked to the point of being numb, what point is there in continuing? Maybe run some oil or lotion, let it cool and resume when it can be felt?

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    1. I like "nose and toes", although sometimes I do "nose box and toes" where I put a banker's box on the floor and make his toes touch that. This forces him to arch his back and jutt out his butt.

      I think warmup can go with more serious punishment play, in that it allows me to go longer and harder than he otherwise could tolerate.

      And yes, david has described the numbing to me. He says it's a relief when his ass gets that way and then he can take more. So any ideas on staving off that numbness are much appreciated! Thank you.

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    2. That last but one sentence... Wow! David is a very lucky boy!

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    3. I'm a lucky gal: I have my love I can beat!

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    4. We have actually used say a 15 minute corner time to allow my butt to reawaken before she continues the spanking with a different implement. This along with some firm massaging by her seems to work on me anyways.

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  42. I showed my wife this blog post and she loved it and totally agrees and uses your methods when she punishes me.

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    1. Thank you for the thumbs up.
      I'm sure you're bum is made quite sore as a result!

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    2. Yes it is >> http://sissyandwife.blogspot.com/

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    3. Thanks for the link! Will check it out

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  43. Dear Strict Julie,
    Let me begin with a thank you.
    Now, for a little background, I have been married to my wonderful wife for over forty years. I discovered spanking later in life and began my journey with self-spanking. I did not disclose my activities to my wife because I knew for certain that she would conclude that I was somehow defective, not a real man, maybe even mentally ill. I should mention here that those fears were completely unfair to my wife. What I was really doing was projecting my own uncertainties about my desire to be spanked onto her. She is the love of my life and an extraordinary human being. If I had had the courage I might have discovered that she is capable of understanding this desire and embracing it. I was self-spanking for three years before I had the dreaded conversation with my wife.
    She was, as expected, wonderful about the whole thing. She made it immediately clear that she was not willing to be spanked and I made it just as apparent that I was not willing to spank her against her will. Then I made it easy on both of us by stating that the only reason I was telling her about this was because I did not want to hide this activity from her any longer. I told her that I was not adding another thing to her list of responsibilities by expecting her to spank me on demand (or at any other time.)
    That is where we left it and I went on self-spanking for quite a while. Then one day I worked up the courage to contact a professional disciplinarian and, with my wife’s permission, arranged a session with her. As you can probably imagine, being spanked, paddled, and caned by a pro was a completely different than anything I had experienced previously. That was nearly eight years ago. I have been visiting the pro on a somewhat regular basis during that time.
    Now the reason for the thank you: For years, I have been wanting to share an intimate spanking experience with my wife. So, I approached the subject with her and asked if she would be willing to take on spanking me from time to time. She said yes. I sent her the links to your “Advice for wives” and “Beating your man properly”. We have had two spanking sessions, one in early November and the second on this past Tuesday. We are on our way to incorporating spanking into our relationship on a regular basis and you share in the credit for our success. I’m fairly certain that this is a common theme in the correspondence you receive but I wanted to say, Thank you.
    Respectfully,
    Domhnall

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    1. Well that warms my heart!!!
      Thank you for sending this along.

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  44. Many people, it seems, have animosity toward God and the Scriptures, but you don't seem to. So I'm going to share a few gems with you -- and more if you're interested.

    As one who has studied the Bible for 60 years, I can confidently tell you that there is NO scripture that justifies a husband spanking his wife. NONE. In fact, discipline is plainly prohibited to be done by the husband -- but encouraged to be performed by the wife. And just as plain in the Bible are the 4 biblical reasons a wife should discipline her husband. I'll share them if you're interested.

    God does give a wife authority over her spiritual head (her husband) and she is to "rule in domestic matters" (I Timothy 5:14).

    You have a great blog, Julie.

    -- Ken

    -- Ken

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    1. Hi Ken, I'd love to know more re your take on this subject. I knew that about there being nothing there re beating wives. And even children I understand is a bit suspect ("spare the rod" can be interpreted as not giving guidance?). Did not know wives were given authority to beat their husbands, though! Love be it. I'd love to collaborate on posting a blog article on the subject. Can you send me an email with your thoughts? strictjulie at gmail.

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  45. "I'd love to collaborate on posting a blog article on the subject. Can you send me an email with your thoughts?"
    Sure, Julie. You're speaking of a religious article in your blog? Sounds good. Will get off a email to you today. -- Ken

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