Fat Loss and Spanking

Spanking and humiliation assisting with health and fat loss is something I have long experience with. I had to give my husband a very humiliating spanking and corner-time punishment this past weekend to keep him on the right path, so the topic is very fresh in my mind.

image by 'lill jo

I also know this is a topic that many of my readers are struggling with and interested in. My most frequent ask from e-subbies is to help them with their weight loss. This blog post will have a lot of sexy bits, will describe a very severe punishment for my husband from the weekend, and will also be educational regarding exactly what you should do if you are interested in losing fat (I say losing fat rather than losing weight, as we want to maintain and even gain muscle mass).

I believe that for a submissive with a dominant partner, that spanking and humiliation can be an important part of a successful fat loss and health program, but not the way most people imagine.

People imagine that the spanking is somehow "punishment", and because of the desire to avoid said "punishment", the submissive will work hard at their program. Nonsense! The submissive craves the spanking, how can it possibly work in that manner?

In our case, the fantasy of my husband having his wife strictly correct him to keep him on the straight and narrow is what he really craves. Therefore I play with this. I play the strict wife keeping him on track. For him, it makes the program fun and sexy and interesting and keeps him at it when the going gets tough. It also means there's a lot of wifely attention on his program, which will make it go better.

Some people, I'm sure, are motivated by not wanting a spanking. I was a case in point. This was before I really got into my subby side at all, and I believed I was 100% dominant. I remarked to David that I really needed to lose 5 pounds. He, being a good husband, was incredulous, and said how terrific I looked and there was no need. But the scale (and my hips) don't lie. I needed to lose 5 pounds.

He offered to help. He asked me about my goals, and I told him it was 1 pound per week for 5 weeks. He offered that if I fell short of my goal at the end of any given week, he would give me a spanking. He said it would be a real, hard, over-his-knee, bare bottom, hand spanking to tears, for as long and as hard as he decided. I really, really did not want this! But I agreed to the bargain, exactly because I did not want it. And guess what? I was so terrified of that spanking that I lost 2 pounds a week and exceeded my target in a shorter time! I think David was disappointed he did not get to give me that spanking!

Imagine had I not been so successful. I would have been spanked, for real, and I did not doubt it for a moment. It is something I absolutely did not want, but would have submitted to if I failed in my goals.

that could have been me!

Isn't that sexy as hell? Total consensual non-consent. Can you imagine a completely reluctant wife spanked against her will as if she was a misbehaving child from the 60's? This should not be sexy at all. This should be horrible! But the sex appeal to us spankos is unmistakable. We crave realness in our scenes, and the ultimate in realness is not wanting it in the least. Cruelly paradoxical!

The only reason this worked for me was because at the time I was completely not into being spanked. Motivating somebody who craves to be spanked is a totally different story. For this, a much subtler hand is needed.

Let me now explain my husband's situation. Since the time I have known him he has gone up and down in weight. When I first met him, he was thin and trim, weighing in at around a solid 190 pounds (he is over 6 feet tall). Gradually, with the pressures of work, a very poor diet, and no exercise; he put on weight, and at his peak was around 240 pounds. I, on the other hand, keep my weight very tightly within a fairly narrow band, eat well, and exercise a lot.

For me it is not at all about how he looks. I love him every bit as much at 190 or 240 pounds. And I find him every bit as sexy. The excess fat does not "turn me off" at all. I understand women are less visual that way, and I know that is true for me. It's not that I don't notice and admire a tight bod, but it's just that the visual stimuli is not directly connected to my sex drive the way it seems to be for many guys.

But at 240 pounds he is not healthy. He is sluggish, lacks energy, gets sick more, cannot keep up with me in any sort of physical activity (even climbing stairs at some attraction, for example), and seems a bit down and stressed all the time. Plus there are definite health issues associated with too much tummy fat, such a heart disease, high blood pressure, and cancer. It kills me to see him that big, therefore. I love him with all my might, and I want him to be around with me until a ripe old age!

Generally, despite any impression you may have gotten from my blog, he decides himself when it is time to lose weight. He generally diets until he gets back to sub-200, which takes around 6 months or so. At anything around 200, he gets a lot more energy and I have trouble keeping up with him in physical activities. He also looks really good.

Then, despite his good intentions, when he's off his diet he has no sense of the proper kind or amount of food, and gradually his weight creeps back up again. That takes about 2 years or so, and he's right back where he started.

Just before New Years, he was hitting it at just under 230 pounds, and he made a New Year's resolution to get back to under 200 before the summer. So he started in on a very serious diet and monitoring kick on January 1, and has been doing great so far. He asked if I could help him out in my "usual way", and I was only too happy to do so!

He's had a new trainer who comes by the house for about a year now. Initially when he started with her, he lost some good weight, and she was very pleased, even bragging about him to her other clients. Then we went on a vacation and he gained 5 pounds, and then it was summer and he kept putting on the pounds, much to her chagrin and embarrassment. Since New Year's she has been very happy to see his weight drop off, and helps me in monitoring his progress once a week. She always asks, "so how are you doing?" the first moment she's in the door, and it's understood that is not a general question, it is specific to his fat loss program.

We have had kinky trainers for david in the past, but this is not a kinky one. We tried a few hints here and there, but she's having none of it. She shuts us down very politely by just changing the topic, and focusing on the work. That has its advantages also!

David has the most success on a low carb diet. It used to be called "Atkins" back in the day, but is now called "Keto" (with a few differences that are really not that essential - they are both carb restricted). David did all the research on this and shared it with me, and the results speak for themselves.

The way it works is that you keep your "net carb" intake to about 50 grams per day. Net carbs are total carbs less the fiber, some of the sugar alcohol, and glycerine. Only the net carbs spike your insulin. The other carbs tend not to so much (though it's a bit complicated). But for david, 50g per day of net carbs keeps him in a state of mild ketosis, which is what we are after. The things he needs to avoid is any kind of bread, pasta, pastry, sugar, potatoes, and so on. Those are all simple carbs that rapidly turn into glucose and spike his insulin levels.

Fruits and vegetables need to be handled carefully, as they have carbs. Most vegetables, however, are high in fiber, which is not a net carb at all, and so is fine, especially green vegetables. Vegetables to avoid are ones you might think of as sweeter, such as carrots or beets. Fruits are, unfortunately, generally not great for keto: too much sugar. Berries are the best, especially blackberries and blueberries. It's ok to have a bit of fruit outside of this, but generally just a half an apple at most, or half an orange (just keep an eye on total net carbs for the day).

It takes him about three days of mild misery to get into a state of ketosis. Also know as "carb withdrawal". He gets hungry and headachy and gets a very dry mouth. After the first three days, these things all level out, and he instantly starts feeling better than he even did before. What happens during those three days is that his body basically adjusts to living off fats and proteins as opposed to sugars. There are actually changes in the mitochondria within the cells that adapt. The adaptation in the cells makes the body much more efficient at burning fat, including his own stored fat. As "ketone bodies" are a side effect of this type of metabolism, they appear in the urine and can be easily tested for using "Ketostix".

One thing I do for him in the morning is to make him urinate onto the end of the test strip. I make him sit back on the toilet, make him start to pee, and hold the test strip there. He is not allowed to pee in the morning until I can assist him with this, which sometimes gets me some amusing begging and pidgeon-toed knee knocking until I am ready for him. Of course he could do this for himself, but what's the fun in that?

I check that he turns the strip some colour. We aim for the "weak" or better "medium", which are the third and fourth squares from the bottom. The second is "trace", which is ok. The bottom one is zip, which is no good.

If he has ketones in his urine, it means his metabolism is burning fat, and there is not excess insulin running around in his system.

The marvelous thing about ketosis is that when he is in it, it is biochemically impossible for him to store fat. He can eat 10,000 calories (but no net carbs or you get knocked out of ketosis), and he will not gain even one ounce in fat, because without insulin there is no biochemical pathway for storing it.

In order to lose fat, however, he needs to keep his caloric intake less than his caloric expenditure. He needs to be careful here, though, because if he lowers his caloric intake too much, his body goes into a kind of "starvation mode" which conserves calories by shutting down important mechanisms that keeps him healthy and energetic. If that happens, then he needs even fewer calories in order to burn fat, and his body then shuts down even more, in a vicious downward spiral that leads to an unhealthy "prisoner of war" kind of weight loss

The most David can reasonably lose, therefore, is about 1.5 pounds per week max. 1.5 pounds is a caloric deficit of about 5250 KCal per week, or 750 KCal per day. His sedentary weight maintenance calorie level is about 2550 KCal, so he is aiming for around 1800-2000 KCal per day to actually lose weight. So the rule of thumb is "keep it under 2000, buddy!". Your mileage will vary.

In addition to the daily morning pee test, he also steps on the Aria Fitbit scale which measures his weight and body fat and sends it up to the app. If I do not like what I see, either on the ketostix, or on his fat% or weight, he might get a scolding and a spanking on the spot. I am a strict marker, so he gets a lot of morning swats!

This sort of morning ritual, where I am paying attention to him and his program in a sexy way that turns him on is really powerful motivation for a submissive partner. I "roleplay" a strict wife upset with him for not making enough progress. He does not mind that I am always critical. He knows it is a game we play. Sometimes randomly in the middle of the day I'll praise him on his progress so that he gets some of that kind of encouragement as well.

In the past, I have extended this sort of play to other women as well. Once I hired him a regular fitness trainer who was an aspiring dominatrix on the side. Swear to God! I have many blog entries concerning her and the trainer after her, who was a young lady readily corrupted. I had 'lill jo illustrate some of the many scenes we had together.

For instance, this illustration below captured only the second meeting we had with the aspiring domme trainer (she and I had met, and planned it out in advance). Yup, he got spanked in the living room by his brand new trainer to set the tone! Ha ha! He had literally no idea. He thought she was a normal vanilla trainer (I told him so, in fact). This was after a week of recording food and exercise, and presenting her with a (frankly horrible) written report. She scolded him for his bad habits, made him drop his pants and shorts, took him over her knee, and gave him a very solid hand spanking as I looked on! He had no idea! (see Personal Trainer: getting interesting!)

Sometimes we did his "weigh-ins" together, and scolded and punished him together afterwards!

And she kept him hopping with some "creative" exercises, such as "pants-down plank".

Or stair runs where  he bends over for the whip at the bottom for his recovery time.

Or a switch across the backs of his legs when on a treadmill or elliptical. This trainer was particularly fond of stripping him to his panties for many exercise sessions (he was required to wear panties for every session).

Once even my kinky sister was present when he was made to exercise in his panties and a sheer baby-doll nightie, with OTK hairbrush spankings from his trainer between sets, fully witnessed by her and I!

And of course, if he is not putting in his "all" during his training sessions then we have to show him we are in this together...

We had and have lots of fun with his health and fitness, as you can see, and this is just the tip of the iceberg. It's a consistent problem for david, and I help him to make it sexy and fun, and am happy to do so. We put two things together in his mind: kinky embarrassing submission which he craves, and diet and fitness. Because he loves the one, the other comes along.

It's fun to involve other women in his shaming. Even fairly vanilla women can be brought a bit into the play. As in, "he's on a diet - he's not allowed it..." in front of another woman is mildly shaming. And if he complains? Well that's a sign, "do I need to give you a spanking?" ha ha ha.

But getting back to the issue at hand, let's see how my boy is doing this time round. First, here is his body-fat to-date:

You can see that he started out at a near obese 29.5% body fat on Jan 1, reached a low of 27% near the end of Jan, and bounced back a bit to 28%. We are aiming for about 18% body fat. His lean body mass is currently around 160 lbs. At 30% body fat he's 230, which is about where he started. At 18% body fat he's 195 pounds, which is his target assuming he does not lose any muscle, which is the goal during any type of weight loss: maintain muscle mass!

The way I maintain his muscle mass is to not starve him: 1800-2000 calories does that; to have him do exercise, especially weight bearing exercise which his trainer does with him; and to feed him a minimum of 100 grams of protein per day (1g per kilo of body weight) to rebuild those muscles.

Here is how the weight went:

He started out at nearly 230 pounds on Jan 1, and has dropped down to just over 215 pounds. You can see the big initial weight drop of just over 5 lbs is water weight as his body acclimatizes to the ketogenic diet. After that we saw a steady steep decrease followed by a plateau at around the 218 lb level. The plateau is cool. His body fat percentage kept dropping during that plateau, so I knew his weight would catch up (likely water retention or such). Ignoring the initial 6 lb drop, he went from 224 to 216 in 5 weeks, or about 1.6 pounds per week, which is right on track!

When he's dieting, he uses an app to track all of his food choices. He uses MyNetDiary. He absolutely must do this religiously!

If we look at his caloric composition, averaged over the past 7 days, we get a sense of what he is eating.

The bar on the left is his target. The second bar from the left is his daily average for the past 7 days of recording. The other bars break it down by breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks.

We can see by comparing target to average that he's eating a bit less than the target, which is good, but please not too much less or, you know, starvation. His net carb target is 50g, but he's coming in at around 60g. Actually, for the first 5 days of the week he was tracking well, less than 50g, but for the last couple, which we shall get to shortly, he was hitting 100g, which is a GIANT NO NO! That's why his average was 60g. His protein intake is right on target at just over 100g. The rest are fats and alcohol.

Now let's get to his caloric intake history since Jan 1.

• The green level (< 2000) is where we are aiming. Any time there is only green it is good, but not less than 1500! He has had 18 days out of the 33 so far in the green, so over half.
• If the green has some yellow on top it means he's still losing, just not as fast as we want. There's another 11 days like that. So together that's 29/33 days where he's losing. That, along with the 50g or less net carbs, is why he's doing so well on dropping body fat.
• When there's also some red, it means he's not losing at all (but not gaining either, because of his being in ketosis). There's only been 3/33 days like that (likely 4 if you count the missing day - which was a bad one!)

If we look at the last full week he had a great run, every day between 1500-1800 (I would actually prefer he eat a bit more, but that's ok). However, the last two full days! YIKES! Not only were his calories high, but even more damaging, his net carbs (not shown) were 100g on both those days!!! That's a complete destruction of his diet. He risks going out of ketosis, losing his ability to efficiently burn his own fat (which got him such great progress to date) and actually gaining fat!

The first day, whatever. Get back on the horse and keep riding. One day over 50g won't knock him out of ketosis. But after knowing he had such a shit poor day, doing it again????? No self-control, that boy, and he knew it, and felt really bad about it. He wanted and needed me to correct him for it.

The first bad day was a Friday. We were out for dinner with another couple and he got carried away. After that, on Saturday morning we drove up North to the cabin for some cross-country skiing. We got two good days in, Saturday and Sunday (which helps to mitigate his dietary mess, somewhat).

[N.B. In general, I don't anymore net out his exercise calories with his eating calories, as his fat loss seems to be much more correlated with his eating calories only, regardless of the amount of exercise he does. This is not to say that exercise is not critical. It is. It helps keep muscle mass, and it helps keep the metabolism running hot all day long to burn more fat.]

It so happened that we were in a hardware store buying some weather-stripping on the Saturday to stop a draft in the cabin. Coincidentally, while in that store, we noticed some "Souvenir of Muskoka" hardwood paddles!

Amazing as I had broken our old one on his ass about a year ago and hadn't found a good replacement of the like since. So we bought one, together with the weather-stripping. The checkout lady was an older, grey-haried woman who was humming a little song to herself as we went up. I thought I'd play a bit. I said, "the paddle I'm using on him". David visibly blushed and the lady smiled and said "oh, well, my, my." She knew I was serious. But at this stage it was not yet a spanking for two bad days, as one of those days was the Saturday in question.

We had a neighbor over at the cabin on Saturday evening, and that is day 2, when David over-indulged again. He had not realized quite how badly he had screwed up until Sunday morning after we returned from our early morning ski, when he retroactively logged his food and beverage choices for the previous evening.

He came up to me with his app and said, "I was bad..." We looked at it together, and I agreed.

"Do you need to be punished?" I asked him.

"Yes Ma'am," he said.

I told him to wait while I set things up, and to come when called.

I went up to the TV room couch, and laid out some things on a little coffee table in front of the couch. I placed it near the left end of the couch, where he would be able to see the coffee table as he was spanked. After I laid it all out, I took a picture for you guys:

As you can see, there is his app with the two horrendous days clearly visible. There also was the new hardwood paddle, and his belt. He'd be getting a hand spanking first, and then the paddle, and then the belt, with some embarrassing corner-time in between.

I had him remove his socks, pants, underwear, and outer shirt, allowing him to keep his red sports shirt on. His penis was a little hard. I sat in the middle of the couch with a pillow behind me. I had him drape himself over my lap and told him to look at the coffee table as he was being spanked, and think about what he did wrong, and what he still has coming.

I started in with his hand spanking while scolding him the entire time. I wanted to warm up his butt for what was coming next, and for his corner time. I then asked him to hand me the paddle. He reached over and handed it to me. I rubbed the cold hard wood on his ass. I told him that he would be doing his corner time before his paddling and belting, but I wanted him to know what to look forward to, so I was giving him 10 good ones with the paddle first, and then he'd get another 100 after corner time followed by 50 strict licks of the belt. Then I lifted the paddle and cracked it down full force on his ass, 10 times total. He howled like a baby - that paddle is very effective!

I then hustled him into the corner. I made him put his hands behind his back, lifting his shirt, and his nose right in the corner touching both walls. There is a little box thing (like heating ducts or something?) at his feet, so he had to stand further away and sort of arch into the wall, sticking his butt out. I told him to put his cock and balls behind his legs, to humble him. I told him to pidgeon-toe his feet to conform to the countours of the floor. He looked ridiculous. For good measure, I made him hold the paddle between his cheeks, the handle end resting on his balls. I told him 30 minutes (that's quite a long corner time, especially in so uncomfortable a position!). He groaned. I felt like changing it to an hour because of his groan, but chose to be merciful instead.

I left the room, but came back every few minutes to be sure he did not move. On one of my trips back I got the evil idea to take a photo of him standing there like that. With his nose so buried in the corner, he would not see me do it at all, and I would make sure the phone made no flash or noise as it took the photo.

After I got home, I cropped and blurred the photo, and decided it could be posted without fear of anybody identifying him. Also, in the off chance that he is a secret blog reader, he can consider it as added punishment that his ridiculous corner time is now made public. So without further ado, blog world, please meet my slightly overweight husband david!

Oh Ha ha ha ha ha! Can you even imagine having a wife who makes you stand like that for 30 full minutes, cock and balls out, red ass showing, holding the paddle you're about to be severely beaten with between your ass cheeks like that? And then to take a photo of it, and publish it? Even his penis and testicles humbled and on full public display, fully photographed. Look how absolutely pathetic a grown man can be. I ought to feel bad for publishing it. I absolutely don't. All you male blog readers, I want you to imagine yourselves like that, put there by me, knowing that when your corner time is up you'll be paddled with that thing between your cheeks 100 times, and then belt whipped 50 times. You will stay on your diet after that!

Imagine if the neighbor from last night knocked on the door when he was like that. Would I release him, or keep him there and let them come in? To me, this would be a sign from above. If he was so unlucky as to have unexpected visitors for the relatively brief time he was being punished in the corner, it would be serendipitous and he would deserve what he got. I would explain that he is being punished for being badly off his diet for two days in a row. Imagine how much he would blush as our neighbour and I discussed his misbehaviour and its consequences. His cornertime might be elongated while I make us some tea. They would of course be invited to stay and witness his spanking.

Lucky for him, no such neighbours showed up during corner time. When his time was up I went to get him. I went up behind him and put his testicles in my hand and squeezed as I took the paddle.  I made sure my nails dug in as I squeezed his balls. He cried out softly in pain. "Get over here," I told him. I pulled him away from the wall by his balls, turned him, and walked him to the sofa, sat down, and pulled him over my knee, entirely by his balls. I told him he better hide those things away unless he wanted them smacked, and he very quickly did do!

I rubbed the paddle across his cheeks as a tease, and then started in on his punishment paddling. Each time I did another ten I announced where I was. He was really in pain, and he was getting very red! He was really in distress as I hit the 70s, 80s, and 90s. The last ten were the hardest of them all. I put the paddle down and soothed his angry looking cheeks with my soft cool hand.

"Do you think you deserve the belt as well?" I asked him.

"Yes, Ma'am," he said resignedly. I would have stopped had he done otherwise.

We both stood, and I arranged three cushions for him to lie on in the middle of the three-seater couch. and then made him drape himself over them, ass high. I picked up the belt, doubled it, and gave it a snap.

His right hip was touching the backrest of the sofa, so it was not possible to wrap-around onto his delicate hip skin, which is a blessing. I think this is the first time I've used this exact position for a belting, and hence realized that it had this benefit.

I whipped the belt down hard across his mid ass-cheeks. He screeched. "Which one's worse, the paddle or the belt," I asked. "The belt!" he immediately said. Excellent, made me feel better about the 49 additional licks he had coming, and more determined than ever to not hold back. I fully intended to sizzle his ass so thoroughly that he would have trouble sitting for the next two days: long enough to get himself back on track with his diet!

The next 49 licks were an absolute marathon ordeal for him. About half way through the begging started. He started begging me for forgiveness, and promising he would not have a bad day ever, ever again. Promises, promises. 50 hard licks is what I promised, and 50 blistering, weal-raising licks is what he got.

After his last lick I put the belt down and comforted him with a "there, there, it's all over now, baby." All he could do is thank me over and over again.

I gave him a bit of alone time to recover and get dressed, but then we had to pack to go home. I noticed him walking a bit funny. As we were driving home in the car, I teased him by asking how his bum felt every now and then. "Still sore!" he replied happily. "Good!" I said.


So, you can see that our playing is a bit of fun mixed with a bit of real contrition - more about self-discipline with an external assist rather than externally imposed discipline. But most of it is more about just having this as an excuse for some kinky fun. By associating the fun thing with the not so fun thing (for him at least: the dieting and exercise), it makes the not so much fun thing way more fun. It's also about giving him more than usual shame-oriented female attention around his program. Most men who diet with the appearance that their wives are in charge look very pussy whipped indeed!

When david next sees his trainer, she will for sure notice and ask about the double-spike days. David will have to admit his screw-up, and she will look sooooo disappointed with him. I will ensure that david tells her that "Julie blistered my butt for that already - I mean literally blistered my butt - I was, like, sore for two days." She will smile a little and change the topic.