Thursday, December 8

Tracy Asserts Her Rights

I just got owned last night. Tracy dropped in on me unexpectedly and gave me a spanking and a two hour room grounding!

And then, like a dummy, I did not follow the rules during my grounding, got caught, and needed to be punished again! And because of my own actions, the embarrassment factor was off the charts.

Tracy txt'd me mid-afternoon yesterday at work asking if I was going to be home that evening. It so happened I was and I told her so. She said only "expect me at 7" and that's it. I txt'd back with an ok and asking her why, but got no further response. Maybe she was in the car or something? Odd. 

I thought our next encounter would be sometime next week for my belt spanking in front of John (and sex after with Tracy!). I was not sure what this one was about. I thought maybe she wanted to discuss something about the scene with me? Maybe clearing some things up regarding her husband's possible involvement?

In retrospect, I was stupid not to suspect. I had hooked up Daddy and Tracy via email. So they have been emailing one another. I thought that Tracy needed some guidance on the whole spanking thing. Our first encounter would likely have been a disaster without the letter from Daddy. And I know Daddy can be a mean old bastard and would make sure I got a proper belt whipping from Tracy☺(there's a smiley there, Daddy! That's how young people say they're just kidding about something!) So, as I have now confirmed, Daddy had gone outside the box and suggested to Tracy that she pop in on me unexpectedly to make sure I knew that she now owns my ass. Thank you Daddy.

Tracy arrived at our place. Both david and I greeted her. She gave him her coat. She told david that she wanted to discuss something privately with me, and asked if there was some place he could hang out in the meantime? We have a finished room in the basement which is a home theater setup, and you can't hear anything from down there, so he said he would go there. "Before you do that," she said, "can you find that new paddle for me?"

What... Did she want to give david a paddling? But why would she send him downstairs afterwards if that was the... oh... shit.

david scampered to do as he was told (the little weasel!) and she and I went into the living room. She looked around the room and patted the arm of the sofa and said "this will do. Take your pants down."

"What?" I said, playing for time I guess.

"You heard me. Take your pants down. You're getting a spanking."

"Why?" I said, kind of whining, going into little girl mode.

"Because I say so. Now move, little missy!"

Geez! Ok. I unclasped and unzipped my jeans and pushed them down to the floor.

"Panties also," she added.

I felt myself blushing as I peeled my panties down to the floor as well and stood back up, my pussy on display.

"Get your bottom over the arm of that sofa," she said pointing to where she wanted me. I sort of shuffled over with my jeans and panties down around my ankles and bent over the arm of the sofa.

We waited there like that. How humiliating! david came into the living room and handed Tracy the paddle. He and I exchanged glances. He shrugged and smirked and then made himself scarce down into the basement. It was like we were subby buddies now. How totally humiliating!

She placed the paddle across my ass cheeks.

"No warm up?" I asked. Maybe she had just forgotten.

"I don't want anything out of your mouth except 'Yes Ma'am' and 'No Ma'am', or you responding to a direct question. Am I understood?"

"Yes Ma'am!" I guess she wasn't into any of my topping from the bottom. She sure shut that down fast. A good lesson to you wannabe Doms out there. And trust me, after a statement like that you don't argue when you're bent over with your bare butt sticking up and a strict woman is holding a paddle to it!

She pulled back and gave me a HARD swat!!! FUCK! She gave me another bunch in silence. She was silent that is. Not the paddle, that sounded like a gunshot. Nor me. I was screeching from the first.

She paused after the first few.

"Who owns this ass?" she asked me, rubbing it with Daddy's paddle.

"You do, Ma'am," I answered.

"Tonight is to let you know I can spank it whenever and wherever I please."

"Yes Ma'am."

I then got another bunch of hard swats. Fuck that paddle hurts! It feels like a hot burn every time it falls!

"I will spank you however I want, alone, in front of our husbands, or in public, and you will submit. Am I being absolutely crystal clear on that?"

"Yes Ma'am!"

Then more spanks. Ouch!

"You and I are going shopping together before your belting next week. If you do not behave yourself when you're with me you're going to be spanked out in public. In the change rooms. Bare bum. And I don't care who is there to see that or hear that. Clear?"

"Yes Ma'am!" I've always enjoyed public humiliation scenes with my husband. But being on the receiving end? Nerve wracking!

She ended my spanking with another dozen or so hard paddle swats to my bare heinie. She made me stand up. I grabbed my butt and rubbed. She did not seem to mind that. And she was not breaking character at all. She was good!

"Strip," she said, still holding that paddle threateningly.

I hurried up and got out of my clothes. Nudity is so much more embarrassing when it's under these circumstances.

"Go to your room."

I gathered up my clothes and carried them upstairs. She followed me with her paddle at the ready. I climbed the stairs with her behind me. I can imagine the sight my red wiggling ass and pussy was presenting to her as she followed me up the stairs. Were we going to my bedroom to have sex??? I hoped so. I was feeling very turned on!

She made me lie on my bed, on top of the covers, face up, still totally naked.

I thought she was going to undress and get on top of me. Yummmy!


"You're grounded for the next two hours. No TV, no phone, no internet, no music, no radio. Nothing. You will lie there naked on top of the covers for two full hours and think about what just happened and what's going to happen next week. No napping. And no touching yourself. At all!"

"Ohhhhh!" I whined.

"Shush! Would you like another spanking?"

I did, but I thought I should be respectful of the scene. "No Ma'am."

Tracy then went around the room gathering up all the electronics. The remote for the TV, the iPad, my phone, the laptop. She even unplugged and took the clock radio!

"David will be up here when your two hours are over. Remember. No touching yourself!"

And then she left. What?

I could hear her getting david and speaking with him, though I couldn't make out all the words. Then I heard some goodbyes and the front door open and close again.

Shit! No sex with Tracy. And I thought for 100% sure that was why we went into the bedroom. Instead, I was grounded to my room! Arghhhh!

What was I going to do for two full hours with nothing to do??? I thought that this was ridiculous. That the scene was over and I could do as I pleased. I'm a grown woman. I don't need to lie here like this. But then I thought that david would certainly rat me out to Tracy. He was probably told to, and he wouldn't disobey (it was for my own kinky good after all). Fine. I'll play her little game, alone in my room. But I was hot and horny! I thought I could disobey to the extent of giving myself a little orgasm or three, surely? Pass the time. Nobody the wiser.

I reached into the bedside drawer and pulled out a silicone dildo. I thought the Hitachi would be breaking the rules of "no electronics" from Mrs. Bossy Pants. And I didn't want to be breaking two rules (and be heard by david!). So I got the silicone dildo and I pushed it up into my already wet pussy.

I started rubbing my clit and fucking myself with the dildo. I was imagining Tracy on top of me with a strap-on, fucking me like this. It's just getting good. I am sopping wet and slippery and approaching a nice one. Then...

Boom! The door opens! It's Tracy! She's still here.

"I thought I would catch you up to no good!" she said.

How incredibly embarrassing. Caught red-handed with a dildo up my cunt! I kinda froze.

"What is it you have in there?" she asked as if she didn't know.

"A dildo, Ma'am," I answered. "May I take it out, please?"

She considered for a moment and then said, "no. Keep it there," just to spite me I bet. She only said no because I asked her if I could. She must know how embarrassing it is to be caught naked in your bed, red-handed, with a dildo up your puss! Especially when you're grounded. Then you're just a naughty misbehaving teen with a dildo up her puss, caught by Mommy. And with a spanking quite likely in your immediate future...

She scolded me for about a minute or so. Saying how naughty I was. Saying how I could not follow even simple instructions. And so on. The dildo was still up my cunt.

She opened up the bedside drawers and rummaged through them and pulled out the Scottish Tawse.

"This will do," she said. I was sure she was going to make me roll over and get a strapping with the dildo still inside me.

Instead, she made me stand up and hold the dildo in with my one hand while I had to hold out the other turned upwards and flat. She was intending to give me a hand strapping.

It was horrible standing there having to hold the dildo inside of me. I should have just taken out the damned thing without asking when I had the chance. Now I couldn't take it out until she told me I could. I was both excited and scared.

SMACK! I got the tawse to the palm of my hand! Ouch!

I don't know how many I got. I think three and then switch hands and then another three. And maybe another round of that. It hurt! My feet were dancing as I held my palm out for the strikes. As I danced I could feel the dildo filling me and fucking me. And my boobs were bouncing up and down also as I got my hand strapping.

The strap gave a sharp cutting pain on my palm, followed by an intense throbbing. I had never done this to david before, and it was a first for me. Apparently Daddy suggested to Tracy to do it. Certainly my google image search shows it's a pretty common thing for naughty girls and boys to have to go through. But I had never.

But seriously, was there ever a more fitting punishment for a crime? I was all naked and had to hold the dildo in my puss. And then I had to hold out my hands, which I had been using to play with myself, for them to be strapped. Even I have to acknowledge how fitting it was.

After it was done she put the tawse away.

She looked down at my pussy. She said I was probably filthy down there with my own juices. (BLUSH!)

She told me to follow her to the ensuite bathroom. The dildo was still in my pussy and I didn't dare pull it out or even ask her if I could, so I waddled along behind her with that stuck up there.

She put me in front of the sink and told me to take the dildo out and to wash it. I did. It was pretty embarrassing! This whole evening was nothing but embarrassment after embarrassment, mixed in with pain. I guess that was Daddy's plan for me. After I dried it she made me hand it to her. She told me it was confiscated and that I would get it back next week. Geez!

Then she told me to dampen a washcloth with cold water and to wash myself. I knew where she meant. She said "maybe this will cool you down," and chuckled. Ha ha. She watched me in in the mirror as I used the washcloth to clean and cool my vagina, and then a towel, under her direction, to dry myself off.

She grabbed my ear and pulled me out of the washroom back towards the bed. She sat on the side of the bed and pulled me across her knee. "There, now you won't stain my outfit you little whore!"

She picked up the paddle which was on the bedside table and paddled me again. It hurt like hell. Another 30 or so strokes (I didn't count, but it was around that I figure). I kicked and wiggled and cried out, but she was relentless. I felt my eyes tearing up and my nose sniffling.

She put me face up on the bed again, with a hot bottom and cool vagina this time, and a tear stained face. She told me my grounding starts over from the beginning. She reminded me of the rules, and again said that my husband would be in after my two hours to release me.

"And I don't want you playing with yourself," she said.

"Yes Ma'am," I answered.

"This time I'm leaving for real and there will be nobody to monitor you. But I want you to do this for me. To prove to me that you can. I expect you to be honest with me. If I can't trust you to obey me we can't play like this anymore. Do you understand?"

"Yes Ma'am," I answered, a bit sheepishly. She was laying on a guilt trip. But I also thought she was right. I would obey her this time. It wasn't directly because of the spanking, or the threat of another. I had agreed to be her subby, and while a little bratting is ok, it is not ok to disobey. It is not ok to do as I pleased contrary to her wishes. I kind of saw that now.

So she left, and I spent the next two hours totally alone with my thoughts. I did not play with myself at all. I lost all sense of time. I spent the time going back through the events of the evening. I was really anxious to blog about them, so I typed up the whole blog post in my head essentially, trying to remember exactly what happened when. I also thought about our upcoming shopping trip, which I was now sure would be some kind of public play, and about the belting I would receive in front of her husband, and the long-hoped for sex with her afterwards. Given Tracy's dominance, and my enhanced submissive state of mind, I was more inclined to allow Tracy to decide the extent her husband would be involved, up to and including whatever. As I type this much after the fact, I still think that is what I will tell her.

Finally david came in. He apologized for the subterfuge regarding Tracy's phony exit before. Said it was not his idea and she made him do it. But he had a smile on his face and was not really sorry, I could tell. And I wasn't mad with him. I was glad he was obeying Tracy. He also said he had an interesting chat with her, but left it at that.

He told me Tracy told him he needed to do one more thing for her.

He started taking off his clothes. He got a pillow and put it under my hips and told me to spread my legs. He then stroked his cock with his hand and made it hard. He got some lube and put it on and into my pussy.

"She told you to fuck me?" I asked.

"She did," he said.  "Missionary style. She was very specific. She also said, and I quote, 'her cunt's ready for you'."

Then he mounted me and he fucked me.

I imagined it was Tracy fucking me!

Before too long he ejaculated deep up into my pussy passage as I squeezed his cock with my vagina.

"What about me?" I asked. He always goes down on me if I have not yet cum, regardless of his own cum in my pussy.

"Sorry, baby," he said. "Tracy told me to tell you that you can't cum until next time she sees you. She says it's part of your punishment for disobeying her. She says she wants you hot and ready for her."


"Is that so?" I said, standing up. My man had just seen me dominated by a woman, and then was told to give me a fucking by her, as if he was a regular husband. I needed to correct that immediately.

"You know," I told him, "when I don't cum regularly, I get mean and bitchy."

"It's not my fault!" he quickly said.

"Maybe not, but you're fucking enjoying it too much and you're going to get to be the whipping boy regardless." I picked up the thick leather tawse that Tracy had used on my hands. I told him to lie face down on the bed. His hips across the same pillow I had just submitted to marital intercourse over.

"Oh, honey please! I've just cum! Please!"

I told him I didn't give a shit. I was hot and I was horny, and I needed an outlet. And if I wasn't allowed to cum, then I'd get my pent up sexual frustration out by strapping him to tears.

He reluctantly went across the pillow and presented his bare ass to me. I was determined that he would be humping that pillow ten time more frantically than when he was fucking me, courtesy the strap this time, and not a female's hot tight wet pussy.  I did not hold back. I used full swings of that tawse to his bared cheeks and thighs. I had him howling fast and kept going. "Show me how you fucked me!" I told him, making him hump the pillow and then strapping him hard for his troubles. Strapping  him like this brings me some considerable joy, and provides a wonderful outlet for my frustrations!

When I finished, he was whimpering and I was glowing.

"It's going to be a long week for you," I told him.

Tuesday, December 6

Switching the Narrative

Recently I've been switching things up a bit, as you all know, and thought I would take a post to reflect on all this.

My blog chronicles my kinky life with husband and others. I do not often go into life outside of this, as that is not the purpose of the blog. My original purpose in starting this blog was to blurt out my feelings and experiences around this new kink my husband had introduced me to. It was done more as a way of processing my feelings and sharing my excitement. I started getting a lot of wonderful response, and it has become a two way conversation where I get as much, if not more, than what I give. It has therefore evolved into me seeking to turn on and thereby entertain my readers with my real life experiences. This, in turn, has led me to seek ever more wild outlets, because I want to keep exploring, and keep turning up the heat in the blog and in my relationship, for your sake and for ours.

But my husband and I do have a real life. You would all be very surprised at how boring it is. We both work (too hard!), and we have other family obligations. Outside of our sex play, we are equal partners. I very much admire my husband. I consider him to be kind, smart, handsome and accomplished. I absolutely adore him. It is only during sex play that we take on the roles you see in the blog. So I can well understand why you might think we are more 24x7 than I let on.

While any kind of vanilla sex was pretty hot for the first few years of our relationship, it got into a bit of a rut. By now, I consider vanilla sex to be a bit boring, and so does he. When he first introduced me to spanking him, though, it just completely lit me up, and him too.

Both our favourite is for sure DD: Domestic Discipline. Our most favourite roles are Dominant Wife and submissive hubby. For a husband and wife, those are very easy roles to slip into! We sometimes role play other power dynamics, and those are fun also, but we keep going back to the FLR roleplay.

Like most subs, he does not enjoy having to tell me what to do. And goodness knows I hate being told what to do! So we have evolved such that for the more familiar types of scenes, especially FLR, play is entirely in my hands. I control the whole scene. After a scene, then we talk. We have developed enough confidence in one another that he can honestly say what he liked and what he didn't like about a scene, and I use that to guide me for the future. When we're talking we're not role playing. It's an honest exchange, and one that I take very seriously as part of our consensual play.

Over time, I have developed a sixth sense for what he will enjoy and what he won't. In fact, I have proven to know him better than he knows himself in certain regards. My entire purpose in play is to actualize his fantasies and make it be highly rewarding and engaging for him. At the same time, I only do things that genuinely turn me on as well, so we both have fun.

Part of the fun is pushing his boundaries. Sometimes these are psychological, for instance taking him out for a good dose of public humiliation. Or humiliating him in front of a female friend I bring over. I enjoy this greatly as well. Sometimes the boundaries are more physical. for example, making him take a punishment beyond what he has taken before. I let my inner beast out. I am so cruel. It is cathartic for me. It's when we are pushing these boundaries beyond our ordinary that we can really go deep. It's when he's at his most submissive and I at my most dominant. And that's incredibly exciting for us both. He does not "enjoy" these more extreme sessions in the conventional sense, not while they're going on. He submits.

Yoga Girl on her blog FLR101 talks about a different kind of relationship. Her punishments are meant to be aversive. I think it's really important to distinguish aversive stimuli from BDSM play. What she presents is truly aversive. Designed to modify behaviour and ensure it stays modified. What I practice with my husband is BDSM play. The most aversive thing about it is my threatening to withhold it. Does that mean Yoga Girl and her husband are "wrong?" Of course not! They are "playing" as well, of course, but at an even deeper level than my husband and I. The female domination that her husband craves cannot be satisfied with the sort of play my husband and I engage in, they both desire it to be deeper than that, and that is very cool as well, just different from what my husband and I practice.

I love dominating my man the most. The thought of controlling him, humiliating him, and punishing him is truly exciting for me. That same excitement extends to the thought of doing that to other men as well, though I have not yet done that in person.

Being dominated by a man in the flesh is a turn off for me. I panic at the thought in fact. Oddly, I can engage in email exchanges with men where they take on the dominant role, and I can quite get into it and even become highly sexually excited at the thought of it. But contemplating doing it for real is still frightening for me. I have tried experimenting with my husband, the man I trust most completely in this world, and it just doesn't work out. When I am just fantasizing out a role play of man over woman, the excitement of the dominance and the submission turns me on. Often when I am dominating david we flip roles: I am the man and he the woman. I love that. So when I am fantasizing these power exchanges with the woman on the bottom, I guess I am seeing it very much along those lines. Although it is me on the bottom. When it's safely in the verbal fantasy realm it's exciting.

What I think it comes down to is energy. There is a certain aggressive male energy which legitimately scares me. I do not feel that energy while fantasizing, only during the real deal. And I also would not get it if the male was under control of the female either. In her latest post, Examples of Aversive Stimuli, Yoga Girl talks about using that male energy to create a truly aversive experience for her husband. I get it.

I do enjoy dominating a woman, but find that I want to fuck them more than spank them. While I like men above all, I definitely have a very healthy dose of bi in me as well.

Lately I have found myself to be highly turned on by being dominated by a woman. This came as a total surprise to me. I had never entertained the thought previously. I guess I lumped it in along the same lines as being dominated by a man. Imagine my surprise when it turned out very differently!

I am exceedingly happy with this development, as I now get to experience "what the big deal is" for a subby. Such delicious anticipation and surrender! The pain of the spanking needs to be there so that I can truly submit. I'm loving it.

For my next session with my Dommy Girl Tracy, she is having her husband watch. That is turning me on as well, surprisingly. I think it's just a heavier form of submission to Tracy. In this society, for a woman to be stripped in front of a male by another woman is a real surrender to her. And then to be spanked in front of him. I am even promised to be fucked with a strap-on (a first for me) while he watches. Very humiliating. Very submissive.

There has even been a suggestion of physical contact. For example, he holds me across his knee as Tracy spanks me. If I think of it as HIM holding me, and directing the action, it is panicky. If I think of it as HER ordering him to hold me down so that she can spank me better, it is a TOTAL turn on. Wow. Such a thin edge! I'm afraid to admit that the same thinking would encompass a sexual act. Being MADE by Tracy to blow her husband, her hands around my neck and on the back of my head, pushing me deeper, is an immense turn on. Being sprayed by his ejaculate, or being made to take it deep into my throat and swallow is equally as exciting. If it is HER will. The same excitement even extends to a hard fucking: pussy then ass. It is my punishment from HER. It is me submitting to HER. I am HER slave to be given like a blow-up fuck toy to whomever she pleases.

I have shared all these thought with my husband. He is not into the male cuckolding thing at all (though him being cuckolded by my lesbian lover is another matter entirely). But he is perfectly happy to allow me to experience this sort of thing with Tracy and John. He does not feel cuckolded in the least. He says that one day I'll be old and wrinkled and won't anymore have the opportunity with anybody other than him (he says he will go down on me 'til death do us part - I plan on holding him to that!). In fact, he says he would be excited to hear about me getting well-fucked by another man.

And ps, I tease him a lot about his premature ejaculation, but actually he's fine. He did have a bad time in high school which I will NEVER EVER let him live down: cumming in his pants during a petting session with a girl. Ha Ha! And while he does cum considerably faster than some other men I have known, I am not into getting my pussy banged for that long anyways, as I can't cum from that no matter how extended a banging it is. If my husband cums into my pussy before I am done, he's the one who has to eat it out regardless, cum and everything. As it is, I love how easily I can get him to the brink and then keep him there, or make him gush with a whisper touch for my girlfriend's viewing pleasure if that's what I want!

The other thing I'm thinking about is submitting to do these acts with John provided I can get Tracy into bed with david and I. Since he's been married to me he has not had any strange pussy. Imagine me sitting on his face getting licked out, while Tracy rides his cock, she and I kissing and making out.

Under those circumstances, he likely will not last nearly as long as Tracy would want (who seems to enjoy that sort of thing).

This would afford us an excellent opportunity to flip him over and whip his premie bitch ass while he sucks his spoiled condom dry.

Thursday, December 1

Is THIS what will happen???

I have a blog follower named tom who delights in sending me pics showing very explicitly what he imagines will happen to me during my upcoming experience with Tracy and her husband John. I must admit, many of these pics do make me squirm in heat. I will reproduce here all the recent pics he sent me, along with my thoughts on each in the context of what might happen to me soon...

I know from previous experience that I will be stripped very bare and taken over Tracy's knee for a warmup spanking. I am not expecting John's presence to lessen my complete stripping in any way whatsoever. I can only imagine how Tracy will spread my cheeks, and for John to insist on looking me in the eye...

The spanking will happen while John feasts his eyes on my pouting, excited sex.

Tracy will not hesitate to lift me higher across her knee, to afford John an even clearer view of my needy pussy and dirty bottom hole.

Will Tracy make me spread my legs wide apart like this, so that John has an even better view??? This is the submissive position of a woman who is about to have her anal passage violated. tom imagines that Tracy will spank me like this, making me hold this posture for John's titillation and amusement.

If Tracy does her research, might she enjoy putting me in other spanking positions for my warm-up?

She has already paddled me in the "legs up" position. Should I expect a spanking like this as well? in front of John? As she plays with my clit???

tom imagines that John will be allowed to spank me as well. Will I really refuse if Tracy insists, or will I meekly go across this handsome man's knees to have my bottom further warmed?

John's large hand slapping my ass so close to my vulnerable sex.

Will I be forced to pay my respects to John as a naked submissive girl should?

Soon I will be positioned for my belt strapping. I can only imagine (to my horror) that this is the type of view I will be presenting.

The belt will come out, and she will not go easy on me. She has promised that it will be "to tears".

I know my bottom will be rosy red well before she is finished with me, and John will feast his eyes on a normally strong and assertive woman thoroughly humbled and reduced to tears in the most humiliating ways imaginable.

It is her prerogative to use other implements as well. A thin wooden slat to my exposed pussy that I am forced to hold apart for them?

A strict cropping perhaps as I am made to present?

Whips and canes as well?

Another paddling?

Will Tracy soothe my sore cheeks after my beating?

I am promised a fucking by Tracy as John watches. I will be forced to hold my vibrator at my clit to ensure I cum from my pussy pounding.

 It might be a wild ride for her husband's viewing pleasure.

It will not be short. She will want to extend my fucking in front of him until my pussy is sooo sore.

 Afterwards, Tracy will bed me.

I am sure I will be expected to service her orally.

And again vaginally, to her heart's content.

If I complain that my pussy is sore, I know what will happen to me.

Perhaps even the hairbrush as she teaches me who's in charge.

Maybe she will insist I ride her, sore pussy or no.

She might be aggressive and grind us into one another.

Make me her lover.

Kiss me sweetly.

Bring her off again and again.

The big question is will she ask me at that moment if I am now willing to involve her husband. I will be so deep in sub space, so beholden to her, so in love with her, that I would likely throw caution to the wind and submit to her strong will. I know John requires a girl to demonstrate oral subservience to him first.

I'm sure Tracy will encourage it.

Then, and only then, once I have truly earned it, do I get his cock. I had best not complain about a sore pussy at this point. The punishment for this disobedience would surely fit the crime, and it may well be my tight asshole that this Man chooses to take instead. I will have no say.

Tracy will be licked as John buries himself deep into me, mauling my tits with his strong hands.

Their relationship can only improve, having seduced their little slut together.

Afterwards, my ass and every hole sore, I will be their's...

Well, that's tom's fantasy anyways. Some of that is mine as well, but I will not let on which parts, and keep that to myself for my private moments...

Tuesday, November 29

Yoga Girl and Story

I was recently in touch with a relatively new blogger named Yoga Girl, whose blog is called FLR101. I recently added a link in my blogroll to the right. I would highly recommend it. It is thought provoking and you submissive males will find it titillating (though that is perhaps not the intent).

She is a professional woman with a science and medical background as a primary care provider. She is also an avid Yoga practitioner.

It so happens that she's also a very strict FLR wife who insists that her husband practice the Taoist tradition of semen retention.
I introduced semen retention to my husband, and he also has an ejaculation schedule which is enforced by consequences that he agreed to.
She argues convincingly that there are many great health and relationship benefits to the practice.

I love her blog name, Yoga Girl. It conjures images of a strong, fit, attractive, centered woman, who in this case brooks no disobedience from her stay-at-home husband.

To get you interested in going over to her blog, I will quote some choice passages (slightly edited for continuity out of their original context).

She says,
I decided on one ejaculation every 5-7 days. Thanks to the application of consequences for unauthorized ejaculation he has learned restraint and waits for me to give him the release command which once given produces a large amount of ejaculate immediately every time. After riding him daily for 5-7 days for extended periods in his pre-climax state (the moment just before ejaculation), he's more than a little anxious, and I'm kind of eager to watch his release. It's a special day all around. Now that he’s trained, retaining his semen, and maintaining sustained thrusting, I typically enjoy at least nine orgasms in intercourse and about 50-100 orgasms before he has his special day. It’s so much more intense having intercourse with a man that's writhing on the brink in excruciating pleasure beneath me.
At this point we need to discuss the "brink". You're on your bull ride cranking out those orgasms which for me tonight ratcheted up to 18 full and powerful orgasms. Thank you, hubby! Now what do you do with the quivering whimpering mass of man lying between your thighs in excruciating pleasure on the brink. It's over for him and he's still humping the air like something might happen but it's just not. Unfortunately, ejaculation is still 5-7 days away for him. You need to take solace in the fact that the orgasm he's going to have days from now will be far more mind blowing than the one you could give him now. Women want so much to please their man, but you need to realize that this delay is the best thing for his health and the long term passion in your relationship.

This transition from thrusting and stopping without completion can be a big hump to get over for him. I don’t mean to be graphic here, but this is the most effective way I’ve found to deal with this transition. I’m almost always on top riding the bull until I’m almost to orgasm, and when I’m on the brink, I jump off onto his face, and he licks me to climax. And rinse and repeat about 9 more times ... sometimes 18. On the last time, after my orgasm, Instead of getting up and walking all ten feet to the bathroom to pee, I use the "Open" command and just use the convenience that’s already between my thighs, and have him hold it in his mouth until he cools off losing his erection. Meanwhile, while he's holding it in his mouth, I can use the bathroom and get dressed with no annoying begging and then give him permission to spit it out as I'm walking out of his room.
In addition to the health benefits for him, she speaks to the benefits in obedience that such a regime brings about:
Tell him what chores need to be completed before ejaculation. My husband may be on a 5-7 day schedule, but that is contingent upon his behavior, and certain things getting done. If he's had an instance of poor behavior, his 7 day schedule just became 8 or 9 days. Would you like to try for 10? It corrects bad behavior instantly.
For example let's take a typical experience that most couples encounter. This happened today. We're having a discussion in the car, and he raises his voice. I don't like that, in fact I hate it. I simply calmly said "You've just been bumped a day," meaning his ejaculation day on Sunday is no longer tomorrow, it's on Monday. The drive to ejaculate is so strong in a male, it was less than ten minutes before he apologized, and asked if I might reconsider as he has been looking forward to his release all week. I said we'll see how the rest of the day goes. He doesn't have to apologize either. He could just wait until Monday. But he does what he can to repair it, and he hopes he's back on track for ejaculation tomorrow. We'll see, I haven't decided yet. Does an intercourse session take place if the kitchen is dirty? Or if the kitchen is clean and orderly 99% of the time? Answer not required. A clean kitchen does not guarantee a session will happen, but a dirty one 100% guarantees a session won't happen.
Your opinion will be highly valued, and your words will be closely listened to. Indeed, once my husband approaches 10 days without ejaculation with daily intercourse sessions, everything is "Yes, mam." No, mam." And he will even ask for permission to speak if it's about a subject we may have disagreement about. Your opinion will move from just being your opinion to law. I don't require these things at all from him, there are no rules issued by me. This former alpha male just adapts these behaviors as his biology changes.
She speaks about how to enforce the regime.
The only authorized ejaculation in our relationship follows the words coming from my lips: "You may release your load now." He lives to hear these words, and ejaculation always follows on the last syllable of that sentence. He will do anything to hear them. But those words won't mean anything if the schedule you set for his ejaculation isn't enforced. There's no getting around this. Males have such a strong evolutionary built in desire to plant their seed. They'll just do it and apologize afterward. It's a sincere apology, but it doesn't get my schedule followed does it? I believe he really means it, but it doesn't solve the problem. When hormones take over, they can't help themselves. When my husband's passion has pushed him to the brink after thrusting me to 18 orgasms, the only thing I've found that works to keep him from teetering over the edge is something that's so horrible that awaits on the other side of his ejaculation that he wouldn't even consider violating the sacred ejaculation schedule. Violating the schedule should be almost as serious to you as him sleeping with another woman.
The consequences that you decide on must be so completely aversive to the subject, he will do anything to avoid them. It doesn't bother me to deliver the punishment because I know what I'm doing is for his own good. I administer it with a firm tone and make sure that it is severe, but I don't do this out of anger. It's in a loving manner but fierce.
It's likely that he'll be aroused by being punished by you. The aversive stimulus must overwhelm the "punishment at a women's hands reward" that he just earned by violating your schedule. My husband wants no part of his aversive stimulus, and it's why he hasn't touched himself in close to a year. He has gone from masturbating 30-60 times a month to masturbating 0 times a month. That's all I require from an aversive stimulus.
Yoga Girl is coy on specifying the aversive consequences, as she feels it is up to each woman to select what's best in this regard for herself, taking her own male into account. But in the comments section she does give some more prescriptive advice.
Averse punishment need not be harsh. An aversive stimulus could be as simple as bumping his ejaculation day 2 days later than it otherwise would've been. The threat of bumping my husband's ejaculation day has a huge impact on his behavior.
For an infraction of the schedule I could implement an 8:00 bedtime for a week or whatever time and length I choose that would be aversive. The threat of a bedtime terrifies my husband so it works. An 8:00 bedtime is aversive in that it removes all stimulus, and gives him time to reflect on what he's done and how committed he is to following his wife's wishes. Before the wife goes to bed, she should check in with him and ask him to explain why he now has a bedtime. My husband finds one day with an early bedtime akin to Chinese water torture and is very aversive. It keeps him very alert during intercourse about warning me about any spill that may arise. He actually would prefer a whipping with a leather strap than an early bedtime.
Corner time can also be effective. Turning a chair facing the corner and having him sit there for an hour. The wife should check with him periodically during this time out and have him explain why he has a time out.
Nose against the wall. The wife can have him stand with his nose against the wall with a quarter between his nose and the wall for fifteen minutes. If the quarter falls, the time is increased. It's pretty aversive.
Putting a man on an allowance for a period of time is also aversive. If his behavior is compliant, spending limits go up. If he's not, spending limits get tighter.
Whether he has permission to go out with friends should be determined by compliance with the ejaculation schedule.
Accidents happen, but I really don't like them as it wrecks all the work we've done in retaining. I can probably count on one hand the number of accidents he's had in the past year.
And, while Yoga Girl does not stress it in relationship to his retention training, we do find out buried in the comments that she is not averse to applying additional discipline on the side:
I find that firm discipline helps my husband focus on his role as well which is of course to be a loving and supportive husband. I have used a brush, but more commonly use the 16" drilled wood paddle, and the 20" leather three tailed strap which are also very effective in helping him align his priorities.
A truly strong FLR wife and a truly pussy whipped mate. Please go and visit her blog and leave a nice comment for her. FLR101.

By coincidence, as I was getting ready to write this article, it just so happened I got a story submitted to me by a blog follower on the topic of Yoga Girl.

His name is michael, and he also goes by the name "Proud Servant". You may email him at proudservant4women at gmail.

Here is his wonderful little story inspired by a mixture of myself and Yoga Girl.

An Exercise in Humility

When I acknowledged to Strict Julie that I'm over 65 and I frequently masturbate to her blog she replied, "It excites me to know a man your age is still jerking off to my stuff!!!"

I was very gratified to know I'd excited her.

Then she added, "You should go ask your Doctor's permission, though ;-)".

Yikes! I hadn’t expected that. My immediate reaction was resistance, even defiance. She couldn't make me! She only knew me as a nearly-anonymous commenter on her blog, so I didn't have to. There would be no consequences. But soon my desire to please Strict Julie won out, and I resolved that I would do as she said. I am a submissive man, after all, and I love to please women. Especially dominant women. And Strict Julie had provided me with countless hours of happy stroke-time, so it seemed only fair, even fitting, that I be willing to humiliate myself for her amusement.

Gulp. Had I realized how much humiliation would be involved I might not have gone through with it. But I'm glad I did.

As it happened, I had my annual physical exam with Dr. Gibson the very next week. I've been seeing Dr. Yvonne Gibson for eight years. She's probed, diagnosed, prescribed, explained, and helped me be a healthier man. I really appreciate her skill and dedication. Dr. Gibson exudes confidence when she speaks, when she makes eye contact, and in the way she moves. She's an attractive woman, in her mid-thirties, I’d guess, and I always give her my full attention when I'm in her presence.

I was nervous when I arrived at the clinic. I hadn't rehearsed, but I was resolved. The nurse took my height and weight and led me into the exam room, where she took my blood pressure. A bit higher than last time. I knew what that was about. Fortunately, my blood pressure is generally low (in a good way), so my nervous energy didn't lead to any concerns.

The nurse gave me an exam gown and left the room. I changed and waited. And waited, it seemed like a long time. I thought I could hear my heart beating. Then there was a knock on the door and Dr. Gibson announced herself. I acknowledged her and reflexively sat up straighter. Dr. Gibson entered, followed by a younger woman who also wore a lab coat. Dr. Gibson introduced her as Ms. Slater, a medical student. Dr. Gibson explained that Ms. Slater was shadowing her as part of her education. Did I give permission for Ms. Slater to be present during my exam? Of course I did. I was always quite compliant with Dr. Gibson. It's just my natural reaction to confident, assertive women.

The exam started routinely. When Dr. Gibson looked in my ears, eyes, and mouth, Ms. Slater stood up and watched closely. I felt like I was being probed by both women. I gave it up for them, opening wider, following directions intently. When it was time to listen to my heart and breath Dr. Gibson asked if it was all right for Ms. Slater to listen, too. I nodded. So they both leaned in, their stethoscopes on my chest, on my back, listening closely. In such close proximity I felt awash in their sexual energy. I got just the slightest glimpse of Ms. Slater's  cleavage and imagined nuzzling her there. I was starting to get aroused. This wasn't good.

Dr. Gibson put on gloves and had me stand up. Time for the testicle exam. She had me lift the gown and then she nonchalantly held my somewhat-engorged penis out of the way with one hand while she felt my balls for lumps with the other. Ms. Slater stared, intent on getting full value out of her day beside Dr. Gibson.

"Do you examine yourself this way?" Dr. Gibson asked me.

"yes...", my voice was weak.

"How often?"

"Ummm, about once a month?" I exaggerated.

"That's not enough. For best results you should examine your testicles every week. I suggest you pick a day of the week and make it part of your routine when you shower."

"Yes, Dr. Gibson. Thank you." If only she would do the weekly exam! Sigh.

Dr. Gibson let go of my penis, and I was aware that it didn't go back to just hanging down. Her little touch-and-talk had gotten me more aroused. I could feel my cockhead pressing lightly against the gown. I wished I could detach from my body and float away somehow.

Dr. Gibson consulted her tablet and announced that I was due for a digital rectal exam. I smiled weakly, turned, and bent over the exam table. The gown fell away, exposing me completely, I'm sure.

It was Ms. Slater who spoke next. She told Dr. Gibson that she hadn't gotten much practice at rectal exams in medical school, and asked if she could perform this one. To build her confidence, she said. She gave quite the little sales pitch. Dr. Gibson was sympathetic, but pointed out that since Ms. Slater didn’t have her MD degree any exam she conducted could not be part of the official record. But she offered an alternative. She asked if I'd let Ms. Slater conduct an exam, just for practice, to be followed by her official exam. I agreed, of course. I adore confident women, and I want there to be more of them in the world. I spread my legs a bit as a gesture of acquiescence.

So I got two rectal exams for the price of one. Ms. Slater was tentative at first, then a bit rough, and it seemed she took a long time. She found my prostrate all right, and I felt my erection grow. She pressed on it repeatedly, and rubbed across it, back and forth and around, and I swelled with every movement. Eventually I shifted my hips just to free my very hard cock from the weight of my torso. This brought a mild admonishment from Dr. Gibson.

"When you move it makes it harder for Ms. Slater to examine you. Can you hold still, hmm?" When she said, "makes it harder" I had to stifle a giggle. But I did hold still.

"Thank you," said Ms. Slater. "Now just bear with me while I find your prostate again." And then she repeated her exam, complete with all the probing she'd done the first time. I lay still and visualized my anal sphincter opening wide. My humble contribution to women’s advancement.

Eventually Ms. Slater withdrew her gloved hand and Dr. Gibson entered with hers. She was quick and precise, in and out in just a few seconds. She announced that my prostate was in fine shape. And well-stimulated, I thought to myself. Dr. Gibson stripped off her gloves and handed me a large wad of toilet paper to wipe myself. I always hate this part of the exam. I didn't know if they'd encountered any fecal matter, and even if they hadn't I had a mess of lube back there. I didn’t want that in my underwear, so I turned sideways and wiped myself, then dropped the toilet paper in the trash without looking at it. This part is humiliating every time, but especially so as I tried to hide my erection.

I eased myself gingerly onto the exam table, closing the gown behind me. I bent forward slightly, but still my erection poked up against the gown. I wanted to be done, but I knew the hardest part lay ahead.

"So, you're in good health, as usual," said Dr. Gibson. "Do you have any questions or concerns?"

Oh, Lord, that one tumbled around in my brain for a while. Yes, I had a question, but it wasn't really mine. I was just carrying it for Strict Julie. I looked up at Dr. Gibson, knowing I had to ask, but not yet ready to. Dr. Gibson met my eye with a steady, inquiring look. She really did want to hear my question, and address my concern. Such compassion. I love that woman. Ms. Slater bore witness.

I drew a quick breath, then another. "I, umm..." I couldn't get it out.

Dr. Gibson gave encouragement. "Yes?"

Another full breath, and then I plunged ahead, into the dead silence in the room. "Do I have your … permission…" That word was hard, and the next was harder. I barely got it out. "…to masturbate?"

There was an explosion of sound as Ms. Slater jumped up, knocking her chair over. She retreated to the far wall of the small exam room, one hand at her heart and the other held out in the "stop" sign, as if to hold me back. "No!" she fairly shouted. "Don't you dare!"

Oh, shit! She thought I was asking permission to masturbate then and there, to relieve my obvious erection. I turned fifty shades of red. I shook my head "no", but I couldn’t manage speech. Ms. Slater turned to Dr. Gibson, close to tears, and said, "I can't be with this." She emphasized "this" by shaking her outstretched hand at me, as though shooing away an annoying animal. Dr. Gibson just nodded. Ms. Slater shot me a look of disgust and horror and made a quick exit, closing the door loudly behind her.

"I'm so sorry," I offered to Dr. Gibson. "I didn't mean now. I meant, in general."

"I see," said Dr. Gibson. "Well, your timing wasn't good. I can see why Ms. Slater misunderstood you, since you were aroused. Do you understand that?"

"Yes. I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to upset her. Or you."

"I'm not upset. But I am curious. Why are you asking my permission to masturbate?"

Oog. I couldn't exactly tell her the truth, that a woman I didn't know had told me to. Fortunately, Strict Julie hadn't told me to go into any detail, so I was on my own as to reason. "Well, I just want to be careful, at my age. Am I in good enough health to masturbate? Are there any risks?"

Dr. Gibson assured me that I was in good enough health, and that it was safe for me to occasionally masturbate to orgasm. She emphasized the word "occasionally", and told me that excessive ejaculation was definitely bad for a man’s health, as it drained his life energy and weakened his immune system. At my age, that was the primary risk of masturbating.

Dr. Gibson spoke at some length about the benefits of semen retention, as she called it. She spoke with great conviction, and I listened intently. Eventually she asked if I had any questions.

"How often is it safe for me to masturbate? For my health, that is."

"It's not masturbation that’s the problem, per se. You can masturbate frequently, but you should limit how often you ejaculate. At your age, I recommend ejaculating once every two or three months. And less frequently as you get older." Dr. Gibson was matter-of-fact, with no discomfort at all. I found her confidence reassuring, and felt that I would be all right whatever was said. At the same time there was no erotic edge for me at all, and I was sure I had completely lost my erection. Which was a relief.

"Are you able to masturbate without ejaculating? I only ask because many men seem unable to control their urges."

"Yes, I can. I have." I felt calm, and would have submissively answered every question she had about my masturbation habit.

"Good for you, that's a good sign. Many men are very attached to ejaculating, to their own detriment. Now one more thing. You asked my permission to masturbate, but it's not really my place to give or withhold permission. You have my approval, as your doctor. It's safe, medically, with the caveat about ejaculating. But male ejaculation has social, as well as medical, effects. So the question of permission belongs more appropriately in the context of any intimate relationship you're in. I strongly recommend you defer to any intimate partner in this matter." She spoke slowly and made forceful eye contact. "Do you understand?"

"Yes, Dr. Gibson." I dropped my eyes.

A few moments of silence, and then the exam was over. I thanked Dr. Gibson. I told her I would like to apologize to Ms. Slater. She said it was up to Ms. Slater whether she wanted to see me again or not. Then she set the chair back upright and walked out, on to her next patient. I got dressed, feeling rather deflated. As I walked back through the clinic I looked around for Ms. Slater, but she wasn't in sight. The nurse gave me the evil eye as I passed by.

At home I made myself a cup of tea and thought it all through. I was pleased that I'd carried through on Strict Julie's assignment. It had been worse than I'd expected, far worse. But it was worth it. I had been a loyal blog reader, and I'd repaid, to some extent, all the pleasure that she'd given me over the years. And I thought over what Dr. Gibson had told me, about not ejaculating. Retaining my semen, that's how she put it. I hadn't heard of this before, but it did make sense. When I ejaculated I always felt a big drop in energy. I'd often fallen asleep, and even if awake I was moribund. Did ejaculation really drain my life energy away? It seemed entirely plausible.

That evening I visited Strict Julie's blog, as I do every few days. She didn't have a new post, so I scanned through the blog list on the right side. I have a few favorites there (thanks, Strict Julie!), but none of them had new posts, either. Then I noticed a blog I hadn't seen before, FLR 101. I checked it out. It was written by a woman for women, but it didn't say it was off-limits to men, so I read on. It was well-written, with conviction and lots of detail, and even research. It was about how the author, who went by Yoga Girl, had transformed her marriage by taking control of her husband's ejaculations. She went into great detail about the importance of reducing the frequency of male ejaculation. This was completely in synch with what Dr. Gibson had told me just a few hours ago. There was a whole lot more, about how controlling her husband's ejaculations had transformed their marriage, along with many intimate details about their much-improved sex life. Dr. Gibson didn't go into that, of course. But it was a very much the same material, maybe even the same voice. And Yoga Girl wrote "I'm a professional woman with a science and medical background as a primary care provider." That sounds a whole lot like a physician.

Was Dr. Yvonne Gibson also Yoga Girl? The parallels were striking. But really, that would be too much of a coincidence. Wouldn't it?

I finished my tea and briefly considered moving on to other sexually-explicit sites I've got bookmarked. They had been a reliable aid for getting it up and getting off. But they just didn’t appeal. Something had shifted for me. I wanted to read and think and not ejaculate, and that was enough.