Tuesday, July 30

Hot Take on Julie's Masturbation Session

One of my favourite "first reponders" is Brett, who sometimes gets inspired by a post and will write comments and emails that really express the essence of a scene.

Responding to Julie's Masturbation Session (you need to read it if you have not already - it even has photos of me fingering myself for real!) he writes in the comments
The account here is stunning. This girl, and I do mean *girl*, doesn't need a psycho-analyst, she needs a disciplinarian. In all the years I've been following this blog, you've never been as shamefully naughty as you've been this week. Your exposure is profound. I read through this very slowly, pausing to picture in my mind everything you were describing in detail. It feels like I was in the room with you, in your mind with you, and your humiliating performance is still palpable. The embarrassment you felt when you posted this must have been intense, and it should warm you for a long time to cum. It's a bit of a game-changer here because, though you've exposed your submissive side and experiences in many ways, this to me represents a more personal submission and vulnerability to your readers not like anything you've shared before. As such, it's possibly the most erotic account I've read, and these are the best female masturbation photos on the web. Generic pics of models or porn stars can't touch them.

I reached out by email after his comment thanking him and telling how much he "gets" me. He then returned my email with a series of more lengthy ones (which I hoped he would!). My commentary in red. The images added in are mine as well.

Dear Julie. Thank YOU. It was such a pleasure to read and see your latest post, even more so than I expected. The tease up to it was exciting, and I wasn't sure you'd go through with it. I would not have blamed you at all if, when it came to pushing the send button, you had decided against publishing your masturbation. What you sent was more than simply that. If I had read your account before you posted, I would have recognized you enjoyed the pins and needles you sat on while writing it, but thought it too embarrassing for you to share.

Yes. Even more embarrassing Brett pointing out that the "correct" and "mature" thing to have done would be NOT to hit publish, but I did anyways...

As I read your account, I found it reminiscent of adolescence. A boy or girl at an age where they've discovered masturbation, the hormones raging, with no sexual outlet beyond what they can do alone in the secrecy of their room, and have indulged in repeated self-stimulation to a point where they are desperate to take it to a next level. In his or her bedroom, waiting til everyone else is out of the house, that inflamed boy or girl will behave without restraint. To what depths will that young mind go to find a more satisfying sexual release? Four solid walls, closed and covered windows are the only protection from unimaginable embarrassment should their shameful behavior be discovered. Is it not unbecoming for a mature married woman to be alone on her bed like an overstimulated teenager, slavishly devoting herself to, and helplessly controlled by her own salacious urges?

That is how I felt. Out of control. Not being able to control my own pussy. Desperately guilty about it at the same time.

And so you were all alone, your husband out of the house, no supervision for young Julie with her pants on fire. The pants had to go, and you were bare naked on your bed like the girl who used to worry about her Daddy catching her. You don't need to be totally nude in order to masturbate, but to totally submit to the sordid visions of dominant men in your mind, you stripped bare for them, exposing everything to their lustful objectifying eyes. It wasn't enough to be telling us you masturbated while thinking you were being punishment spanked over your husband's knee with groups of strange men watching your humiliation, you were sharing every detail of your masturbatory performance. Here I sit not just knowing you do it, but step-by-step exactly how you play with yourself, how you rub your clit and spank it, our pretty little slut in heat. Your disgraceful fantasies were just beginning, though, as if your subconscious had righteously judged your selfish naked behavior in bed, and was now prepared to subject you to the full punishment you had coming.

My "pants on fire". Oh BLUSH!
Yes, every detail. How I finger myself, how I rub my clitty, how I spank it! Touching myself where I imagine the mens' eyes fixate.

I love how full nudity can still in this day and age be so embarrassing for a boy or girl, such a potent symbol of lower standing and higher susceptibility, how you can feel the eyes of witnesses on your bare skin, head-to-toe, like an army ant of invasion of your most private space. The higher you are, the longer the fall, and so who do you NOT want to witness such painful indignity? To see you truly "taken down a peg?" At work? In your bed, on your altar of indecency, you prop up the photo of the pretty girl bent helplessly over the edge of the table.

Is that your boss's boss? Grabbing the girl's hair in one fist, his other hand spanking her bared bottom? Fingertips tease your exposed clit, your fevered mind takes you to that place because it thirsts for the shame.

Grabbing my hair, spanking my bared bottom... publicly

Your reputation at stake before your male colleagues, where you've attained a high level of power and position. How easily that can all be stripped away. See that naked girl contorting to hide her breasts and pussy behind barely adequate arms and hands. With sincere modesty, she fights her exposure.

Could that be innocent Julie, doing all that is humanly possible to cover her privates? Mortifying enough that you are showing so much bare white skin to those six well-dressed men over whom you once presided.

No. please no! Not this. no...

"Hands to your sides, young lady." It's not enough, and you are not in a position today where you dare disobey. You're naked to the world now.

I love the drawing! That poor young woman forced to stand naked in the center of a room full of well-dressed businessmen. The miserable look on her dismayed face tells us that she has never experienced this before except perhaps in her nightmares.

Imagine being forced against your will to be naked like that? Oh gosh!

She has no ambitions to be a stripper. She might rather have a job jumping out of airplanes without a parachute. This is a woman who holds tightly onto her privacy, only her most intimate partners having seen her bare body. Does she even know these men? It would be infinitely better if they were complete strangers she would never see again. The most devastating is that she is shaved bare. With arms at sides, her pussy is not just exposed, but in a blatant fashion, her puffy hairless mound and smooth slit are an invitation.

She most definitely did not shave her pussy for strange men -- maybe just being very naughty for the seduction and pleasure of her lover? In this room of well-dressed men, she appears like a prepubescent girl.

Yes. That is sooo private!!!! Not for them! Not for all of them!

As you squirmed in heat on your bed, you were this girl, forced to turn in a slow circle, showing the men your bare white bottom. As director of your own fantasy, you must have seen where this was going, but as that helpless girl, you believed this WAS your punishment. Naked humiliation. None of these coworkers would ever view you the same again. That should have been bad enough, but not enough to satisfy a naughty little whore still squirming in unfulfilled desperation. The wretched naked woman would never even imagine that, in this room of men, she had been stripped bare for a little girl's punishment, over a strong man's knee for a spanking...

I knew where the fantasy was inevitably headed, but me, in my fantasy, was naive and did not.

As I read what you are facing I'm asking myself, what is humiliation? What might satisfy a situation where feelings of embarrassment are truly overwhelming, where you can't see beyond them to imagine a way of coping? Each person will answer that differently, but we agree that a spanking is our place to start. Where you are sitting, say that word out loud -- *Spanking* -- You prefer to speak it softly, in case someone might hear. You know what spanking means. Taken over the knee, helpless, to be punished like a child. On your BARE bottom.

This is a spanking. In my mind, having this done to you against your will, by a member of the opposite sex, and with witnesses of the opposite sex, is one of the most humiliating things imaginable! The humiliation includes the inevitable crying, carrying on, and begging, sincerely, for it to stop, please stop! My humiliation is heightened by the knowledge that all he needs is his hand to get me to that state.

We bring in an audience to raise your self-consciousness, the jury to render a verdict on your indignity.

From Shadow Lane - Heidi and Elka

We strip you bare completely. You are powerless, your status reduced to that of the smallest child, but what does your relative social or professional standing matter now? Only that the members of your audience define that standing, that you will forever be judged through their eyes?

I enjoyed how the heavy ornate chair brought from the side of the room was placed in the center of the semi-circle of facing men.

You were confused because, really, who would think...? Naked, yes, but are you not still a powerful businesswoman? Turns out, this was your disciplinarian's premeditated plan for you. The traditional armless spanking chair is still the preferred platform for dealing with bad boys and girls. The extravagance of this chair says we're putting on a show. Its solidity is the assurance that your spanking will be thorough. Center stage, nothing to distract from this dramatic scene in which you in your birthday suit will star.

Brett and I are both fans of "birthday suit discipline." A spanking is surely bad enough, but when Mommy or Daddy sentence you to birthday suit discipline on top of that???

The taking off his suit jacket, rolling up his sleeve -- patiently removing his ring. A naughty girl should have had her hand on an upset tummy, or reflexively seeking to protect her tingling behind, but maybe our businesswoman in front of her coworkers was in a state of denial? And the man has a manservant to help him prepare for your punishment. Do you not think it delicious that, in this oddly Baroque setting, your station was now much lower than his. It was all such a richly formal proceeding, and with you standing there agape, a lost little girl with no power to move against the powerful current that is carrying her.

Yes. A fully witnessed birthday suit spanking. There is no position lower!

Against this strong, handsome, confident and dominant man, you could have simply been ordered to submit over his knee. Would you have dared to disobey? For how long? That could have been a scene for your coworkers to digest, hearing your desperate negotiations before the inevitable, but at least you could have spoken up for yourself. Instead, he chose to simply treat you like a child by wordlessly and forcefully taking you to your spanking. In his powerful grip, man-handled. You needed to feel his strength and be assured that you were fragile under his control, that you were a naked girl given no options here, could only blush brightly for your audience, the look on your face like nothing the "bitch at work" had ever shown her colleagues before.

This is important in my fantasies. That I not be "given a choice". That I am forced across his knee through ridiculously superior strength - a grown man handling a naughty child.

How a naughty girl is positioned for her spanking is so important, and I was excited to see your Dom was not careless in this regard. You got taken Over The Knee, which of course is idiomatic for over or across his lap or thigh. To be precise, you were turned up and over, head to the ground, backside arched wantonly high to the sky.

My "nightmare" / "worst case scenario" position! The exposure of my dangling breasts as acutely embarrassing as that of my backside.

One hard spank where it does a bad girl good, and you finally and fully understood where you had been taken. With your face at the floor, did the men get to see your expression at that moment once you had felt the power of his scolding hand on your bare flesh? It must have been priceless. You could not believe you were being spanked like a child, yet the reality of it must have grabbed your attention like the sting of a bullwhip.

Oh my gosh. Can you imagine being positioned like this, on display like this, for your spanking??? You realize that when you are positioned like this, and when the spanking occurs low across both cheeks, your pussy is not spared the spanks? You get that, right? And that everybody can see your pussy being spanked, along with your backside?

You could feel the eyes of every man gathered around you. In the throes of masturbation, it was not enough that they be fictional characters, but your real male coworkers seeing you like this. Did you think about times you gave them reason to want to see you taken down a peg? Imagine if they found out you, while naked and alone in your bed, think about them when you finger your clit, wishing you could tell them you deserve the spanking you are getting. You promise to kick your legs and jiggle your bare breasts for them. You will scream and beg to them. Your pussy will pout open, a pretty little slut offering them everything. On your bed you rub, knowing you'll see them all at work soon enough...


and here's another installment from Brett:

We're talking about a fantasy here. We want to imagine that it's real. Imagine Julie stripped naked in front of her coworkers, taken over the boss's knee and given a spanking, a humiliation that will forever change the relationship between her and her colleagues. It is such a powerful idea, but what is *not* fantasy -- Miss Julie in real life, alone and out of her husband's eye, selfishly engaged in desperate masturbation. You performed naked on your bed in rhythm and tune with the fantasy, a direct reflection of the imagined humiliation you were suffering. As I read that narrative, two parallel scenes played on my mind like a split-screen effect, on the left where an office humiliation fantasy was showing, and on display on the right, the reality of a grown woman in adolescent heat. I thought the girl I was watching on the right should have been getting the spanking shown on the left, but totally real and across her husband's knee. Years ago, if Daddy had discovered this disgraceful behavior, maybe Julie wouldn't be needing this well-deserved punishment today from her husband.

And since Brett wrote that, that actually happened, and was video taped, and was posted!!!!
Julie Spanked on Video!

As you masturbated, you imagined yourself over the handsome man's knee, held in place by a strong left hand. He then began the spanking. You italicized "the spanking" because the words required emphasis. I definitely picked up on that detail. Turned on your side in bed, your own hands busy front and back, you were getting spanked. Do you know what happens to bad girls? Answer me young lady! You know what a strong man's bare hand can do to a poor girl's bare bottom when she's earned a good lesson with that hand.

I do know... every teenaged girl's nightmare!

Naked on your bed, you heard the sound as if each fleshy slap was an explosion from the scene at work echoed by the walls of your bedroom at home. On the split screen in my mind, in bed you throbbed in time with the punishment witnessed by your coworkers.

Did you make a spectacle of yourself? Businesswoman on the left, naughty girl on the right? At the office, you had no choice. You were getting a spanking that transforms a proud and bossy woman into a humble and obedient child. That strong hard hand is your master, and no one watching doubted it. The lowest fleshy curves of your buttocks, your tender sit spots, are agonizingly vulnerable, and everyone could see it. You know every male in that room is wishing to see your surrender, and no matter how badly you want to deny them, hard, sharp spanking discipline has you kicking and hollering like a little girl. Over his knee you were on fire. On your bed you were on fire. As you played with your pussy, did you also really spank your own bottom? You chose italics again in confessing to us your slutty behavior. Your blog really should be renamed The Shameful Confessions of Miss Julie.

yes, Sir...

You had been spanked to shocking disgrace in full view of your coworkers, but it still wasn't enough. Fevered masturbation to that point had only brought you to a state of higher desperation, his fingers, your fingers, spanking your inflamed pussy, and you needed to put on a more humiliating display for your audience. He pulled your cheeks apart to spank, and you posted a photo to show us explicitly what you looked like, a woman's most private parts uncompromisingly exposed as bare as can be. Look how pretty you are, shaved so pink and smooth, but this was no exhibition of which you could be proud. You will receive no trophy to put on your desk at work to remind everyone how you looked that day, but then nobody is about to ever forget the sight anyway. I'm trying to imagine a future situation at work where you have to exert your authority, or to compel a coworker in some conflict to take you seriously. Will they be able to hide the smirk on their face with the vision of your pink nether regions on ripe display?

I enjoyed your confession, how you spread your own bottom cheeks and played with yourself back there, rubbing and spanking, fiddling your clit. On the one hand, a naughty girl is inherently erotic, while on the other, you are sharing your most private moments in public shame. In your mind, you were kicking wildly over his knee. In your bed you flutter kicked your legs so you could feel how your pussy and bum were opening and closing to be exposed to your audience. He was spanking every inch of your most intimate anatomy, and you had to spank yourself in concert, a naughty girl driven by insatiable desire to ultimately spank her own wet pussy frantically hard, then rub her clit, spank and rub and spank and rub like a runaway machine. The men were laughing at your greed.

"No! Not that! I'm so sore already. Not a paddling! Please!" You were actually in bed begging yourself to be spared the paddle. How crazy horny is that? Of course you were not to be spared. Very bad girls get the paddle. The paddle in italics because Miss Julie knows what that means. Her tender pretty behind knows. See the photo.

Those deep red marks on pale flesh are evidence, exhibit 'A'. The paddle was fetched by the manservant, who appeared to be maintaining a gentlemanly air in the presence of your unladylike downfall. Driven by your arousal, the position for the paddle had to be even more vulnerable and revealing. The drawing you share is delicious, the man with the paddle securing you so that while your hands and feet dangle ungracefully awkward, your bottom and pussy from behind are presented dramatically high and under the firmest control.

I like how you gave yourself no safeword. Girls behaving like you are never allowed to stop their own punishment. That fact lives in the pit of your stomach.

It wasn't enough to simply imagine the paddling you were getting. You were a girl scrunched into a fetal position on your bed who needed an actual punishment, even if she had to do it herself. You rubbed the hard wood of the hairbrush against the soft lips of your pussy and, under increasing arousal, you were driven by lust to brush-spank your own bottom hard. OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! you cried to your real master. I enjoyed your description of the performance, and how you recognized what a silly little woman you were being.

On the left side of the screen, Julie was still getting paddled. Relentlessly on her elevated ass.

"The man stops paddling and asks me mockingly, "are we going to be a good little employee for me from now on?"

"'YES!' I cry out through my tears."

"'Yes what?'"

"'Yes Daddy!' I scream out from across his knee."

The climax of your account for me. The money shot. Your bottom paddled. Your face awash with tears. Your bare body ruthlessly exposed, you cry to your Daddy from across his knee. Your surrender is now complete yet more profound than anyone expected. If an employee is to show respect to her boss, the honorific is, of course, "Sir." For the woman at work, this is astonishing what she has involuntarily revealed. Across her boss's lap, she has been taken to the point where, as if injected with a truth serum, she is unable to hide her most closely guarded secret. In her mind, her heart, her body, this was a spanking from "Daddy." Everyone in the room laughed out loud as expected, but looking at the screen on the left, I was smiling. At the heart of the fantasy, a teenager was getting a spanking from her Daddy, and that is really what the girl masturbating on her bed is seeking...

Oh yes!!!!

Thursday, July 25

Julie's Masturbation Session

Before I start this post, I just want to thank all my wonderful readers for the incredible engagement from my teaser post, Feeling Exhibitionistic. Over 100+ comments from readers (plus another 100+ responses from me of course). In fact, you broke Google (blogger comments in "Embedded" mode tap out after 200)! I was feeling a bit down for various reasons, and receiving that quantity of love and affection, well, just, THANK YOU.

In that previous post I described how I got turned on reading a poem written by fondles on her blog Fondlers Anonymous called The Hand that Spanks. I had this whole extended masturbation session that started with me imagining my husband spanking me and then making rough love to me, but then spun off into a ridiculous (and dark!) direction before I was "done". I went to write it up (essentially this blog post now) and after finishing it felt very... submissive.

One of the more submissive things I do is publish embarrassing photos of myself on my blog. It allows all of my readers (whom I consider to be friends) to see me at my most vulnerable, and tease me (which I invite, and turns me on even more). Every new level of depraved photo published changes my relationship with my blog and my readers.

I had never published a photo of me fingering myself, which I do during masturbation. It made my tummy do flip-flops actually considering posting such a photo. For me, masturbation is a secret thing. A guilty thing. I've been doing it since I was a child. My earliest memories were putting my stuffed doggy between my legs and humping it. I progressed to flicking my clitoris and fingering my pussy. I would do this at home, in my bedroom, with the door shut, at night. I was always worried about somebody walking in on me. I was particularly worried about my Daddy walking in on me and seeing me doing that! That sort of shame now turns me on, though at the time it did not.

As it happened, I actually had a photoset of me fingering myself as I do during masturbation. I considered giving it to a French blogger who wanted to do a series on me to post, but for various reasons he never got the project off the ground. When I took them, I sat down at the foot of my bed, arranged a mirror in front of me, and took a bunch of photos of me doing what I do during masturbation. I was super critical of the results, and trimmed them way down. I got down to two that I thought were fit. Then I cropped and blurred the background, and softened the edges to make them look more sexy.

I promise, I have the actual photos below, but as a tease, here are the two that remained, artistically filtered by Photoshop.

As you can imagine from the cutouts, I am completely naked, my legs are spread wide, my breasts are on full frontal display, and I am fingering myself!!! (BLUSH)

In this post I will walk you though what went through my head as I did it (as I masturbated to fondles poem and beyond). It was not as linear as I portray here, nor were the details quite as worked out, but all those feelings that I describe were there. The scenes were hazier and less specific, though the best way to share the feelings is to provide a bit more after-the-fact detail and illustrate with some photos off the web that are, like, YES, as I will do here. There is even some never-before published artwork from lil jo that I kept in the "spank bank" for just such an occasion.

Also, there are things I describe here that a fully grown-up, married woman, such as myself, absolutely should not be doing. They are very, very embarrassing things. I cringe at the knowledge you will be reading all about what I do in a moment. But my husband was out of the house, and I was completely alone in bed... You will see.

Let me back up a moment and explain what got us here.

Reading fondles' poem got me all hot and tingly and bothered. I re-read it a few times (thank you Miss fondles). My initial thoughts went to my husband. How I feel when he pulls me bare naked across his knee and gives me one of his ridiculously appropriately hard hand spankings (all he needs is his hand). And after the spanking how I crave his cock in me, even in my ass if that is where he chooses to put it (though I will never admit that I crave it there to him - he needs to take me if it's going to be up the ass...)

I went up into the bedroom and undressed. I lay on the bed. I pulled my iPad into me and navigated back to the poem. I started rubbing myself thinking about it. Thinking of the feelings of being dominated like this then taken. I lick my thumb and fingers and put my fingers in my pussy. I rub my clit with my thumb. My fingers play around the entrance to my vagina. I pull my hand out and taste my own juices, and lick my hand some more, and then go back at it.

When I need more I pull my fingers out of my cunt and drag them up to my clit where I really go at it. I rub it in a circular motion and then I spank it with my fingertips, and then rub it some more. I can feel my clit engorging: getting bigger and more prominent. I bring my left hand into play. I spread my lips with my left hand while continuing with my right. My clit is way more exposed this way.

I am thinking of being across my husband's knee, getting the spanking of my life. My mind flashes to a group of men witnessing my spanking. I feel a surge of wetness and a heat. From there I am put on all fours and fucked doggy style by my husband as the men watch. My right hand rubs my pussy and my left my breasts as I am imagining the fucking I am receiving from my husband in front of these men.

I'm not quite there. I calm myself down a bit, let myself coast. I pick up the poem again and re-read it. I keep focusing on the hand.. spanking... and the implied fucking afterwards. I glance again at the photo that fondles decided to include.


Wait, that's not a husband with his wife, that's something different from that. My mind spins off in another direction...

What follows is a bit rapey in nature.
To be clear, it is not a rape. I am not being raped in my fantasy. But it will feel like it.
If you are uncomfortable with these motifs, please do not read on.
As a further disclaimer, I want to emphasize that fantasizing about having rough sex from strangers,
and actually wanting or having rough sex from strangers,
are a million miles apart and are not to be confused.

I imagine I am completely naked and embarrassed about it. My hands and arms covering my pussy and my breasts. A hot blush on my chest, neck, and face.

I am in a darkened room, a spotlight on me. Sitting half-obscured in the shadows in leather chairs in a semi-circle around me are a half-dozen men in suits, some smoking cigars, some with a drink in their hands, not talking at all, silent, staring at me. No. Not staring at me. Staring at my body. I could see the lust in their eyes.

I prop the photo fondles included up on my bed. It's a good photo of a pretty girl being spanked by her man, in perfect position to be taken immediately after.

One hand roams across my breasts as my other gently teases at my pussy. I cover myself with my hands in shame, and then rub myself again.

Why was I there? Who were these men? There was no elaborate plot in my fantasy (I suppose I could make one up now, after the fact, to justify it). There were emotions. The emotion was that I was not being forced to do this, but nor was I doing it willingly. Maybe I had made a power-play and I had lost. If I wanted to keep my position, my money, my prestige in the outside world, I would need to do what these men required. Something like that. That was the feeling.

The man in the center silently shook his finger at me, and motioned for me to drop my hands to my sides. I reluctantly did and felt my face and breasts flush hotter. My shaved pussy was on full display. My breasts were on full display. My hands were trembling. My breathing was heavy.

As I had this thought my hands dropped to my sides and balled into little fists. I squirmed on the bed, rubbing my upper arms against the sides of my breasts and rubbing my thighs together. I imagined my breasts and my vagina totally exposed like that.

I imagined being fully nude, completely naked, in a roomful of smirking superior business men. I was not a stripper, or a whore, I was their equal, their superior even (or at least, was before this). The fall is what is most humiliating. The fall from a woman to be feared, to a naked little whore...

The man made a motion with his hand to turn around, a full circle, slowly. I complied, gritting my teeth. All the men could see my bare white bottom as I turned. This was my punishment, the ultimate indignity, or so I naively thought, to be displayed completely naked in front of these clothed men. To be utterly stripped of position, power, dignity, and clothes.

When I was back facing him he stood up suddenly. He walked over to the side of the room, the footsteps from his expensive shoes echoing. He effortlessly picked up a heavy ornate armless chair from the side of the room with one hand and placed it in the center of the semi-circle, facing the men, directly in front of me. I was confused. I did not know what was happening.

He took off his suit jacket. A butler stepped forward from the sidelines to take it from him. The man rolled up the sleeve of his custom-tailored white dress shirt. He removed a heavy silver signet ring from his finger on his right hand and handed it to his manservant. The servant faded into the background.

He came around beside me and took me by my upper arm. I imagined his grip was not painful, but felt unbreakable. I could feel the strength in his hand and arm. He pulled me around to the front of the chair. He sat, spreading his legs, and pulled me between them. I was still confused as to what would happen next, blushing furiously in my nudity, not thinking straight.

He pulled me down across his left thigh. My head was very close to the ground. I felt one hard smack to my bottom. It finally dawned on me. I was to be spanked. Spanked like a naughty child on her bare bottom, fully nude, in front of an audience of men. This could not be happening. I was an important and powerful businesswoman, not a child to be spanked on her bare bum! I felt completely humiliated.

I imagined my real-life boss's boss at work, a handsome man, and all my male coworkers. I know they would love to see me naked, of course. They probably think I am a bitch at work. They are probably vanilla. Imagine what would go through their heads if they saw me given a spanking like this??? They would love to see me kick and scream and beg, reduced to the status of a six-year-old. They would enjoy the views of my jiggling breasts dangling in front, of my naked bottom, of my pussy!

I felt completely jack-knifed across his leg. He adjusted himself so that those watching had a perfect view of my backside. The spotlight was still on me. I felt the blood rushing into my head.

I thought as I rubbed myself, "on no, please! don't spank me like this. don't show off my bare bottom and my bare pussy like this. Not to all these men. Please no. Not an actual spanking. Not spanked like a child. Not with my pussy so open and exposed and vulnerable and pouting out as if ready to be fucked...". Those were the words in my own head as I masturbated to the thought of this pre-spanking exposure. Some of my real-life colleagues mixed in. I will surely blush next time I see them at work!

His left hand steadied me. He begins the spanking.

I imagine that the spanks sound out like gunshots in the large echoey chamber. I have been spanked by my husband, over his knee, naked, with only his bare hand. Just his hand. I know what it feels like. I know what a job a strong male hand can do on a poor girl's bottom.

How humiliating! I stroke myself imagining the spectacle I am making of myself, kicking and crying out. Imagining the man's hard palm crashing down onto my defenseless cheeks. I turn onto my left side and I spank my own bottom with my right as I play with my pussy.

He concentrates on the lowest part of my buttocks: the fleshy undersides. His fingertips carelessly whip into my pussy lips as his palm connects hard to my near cheek. "no... not there..." I whisper to myself as I spank my pussy lips from behind and rub my clit.

His spanks move down to the tops of my thighs, well-padded for such punishment. I wriggle uncontrollably at the pain of his hard hand punishing the backs of my thighs. I move my own hand down and smack my thighs. Hard.

I feel him pulling my cheeks apart and spanking the insides of my bottom cleft. My butthole is on full humiliating display! I can't bear it!

As I imagine this my hand goes to my bottom cheeks and spreads them. I brush my fingers across my asshole as I hold my cheeks wide apart. I brush my pussy lips from behind. I try to smack as closely inside my bottom cleft as I can. I fiddle my clit.

I can imagine my legs kicking wildly and uncontrollably spreading open. I can imagine my anal pucker clenching and releasing as I am spanked like this. I can imagine the lips of my cunt spreading widely to reveal what's inside as I struggle. A completely humiliating show for all the men present.

Still on my side, I slowly flutter kick my legs, my hand feeling my pussy and asshole open and close as I do so. I give myself the occasional slap on whatever part of my intimate anatomy becomes available, as I imagine the man is doing to me. I allow the fingers of my hand to penetrate into asshole and pussy (from behind) as I wriggle and kick, so I can feel those parts of me opening and then contracting down on my fingers, as I imagine those openings would do in front of the mens' lustful gaze.

The man meticulously covers every inch of my previously private, most closely guarded, flesh. Nor does my pussy escape, rather it is spanked. Directly spanked! The men are actually laughing as my pussy is spanked and I am made to react and gyrate like a greedy whore because of the pain.

As I imagine this, I have turned back to lying down and am giving myself full slaps to my wet cunt. Slapping it hard. Painfully hard. Then frantically rubbing my clit. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat.

His palm then continues crashing into my poor, sore backside. I become frantic, yelling out and wriggling madly across his knee. The thought of escaping from across his knee never even occurred to me.

He stops. I am able to finally catch my breath, believing my ordeal to be over.

But no.

He calls out to his manservant, asking for the paddle.

"No! Not that! I'm so sore already. Not a paddling! Please!" I say this to myself as I continue rubbing my pussy and fingering my hot wet snatch.

The manservant hands him the paddle and then steps away. He hoists the leg I am draped across even higher. He places his right leg across both of mine, doubling me over even more so than before. I feel my pussy poking dramatically out. I also realize that there is no escape for me. I am going to be paddled, and paddled severely. I do not have a safeword. Nothing like that. I will be paddled until he decides that it will stop, not before.

He begins.

The paddle crashes into my defenseless cheeks! ARGHHHH!

In real life I have been paddled, paddled hard. I know what it feels like. It's agony.  This was the result of my last hard paddling.

I replay the sensations in my mind as I stroke myself. The agony of the paddle crashing again and again and again into my ass. The complete inability to stop it. I have a stout wooden hairbrush that we keep on the bedside drawer. I pick that up.

I roll over sideways again and I scrunch up into more a fetal position. I rub the hard wood against the soft lips of my pussy. I pull the brush back and smack my bottom cheeks. Ouch! Harder. OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! (silly, silly, little woman) I am playing with my pussy with my left hand, but my left hand is not good at this. I put down the brush and roll back over onto my back. I bring both hands to my pussy and really go to town. My left penetrates me as my right rubs my clitty. My ass is now glowing and sore from the hairbrush,

His hand and foot keep me rigidly in place. There is no escape from the punishment. The eyes of his smirking compatriots are felt keenly on me as he reduces me to the status of bawling little girl across Daddy's knee. I am reduced to begging him to stop. Pleading with him to stop, please stop, while all the men laugh at my pleas for mercy!

The paddle crashes down relentlessly on my elevated ass. I can feel it compressing into my pussy lips as he whacks my lower bum!

The man stops paddling and asks me mockingly, "are we going to be a good little employee for me from now on?"

"YES!" I cry out through my tears.

"Yes what?"

"Yes Daddy!" I scream out from across his knee. Everybody laughs at that. The expected response was "Sir". I just said "Daddy" inadvertently, not being able to help myself, much to the amusement of him and his assembled gentlemen. Perhaps that is what earned me some mercy, some fatherly feeling from the man, because, finally...

the spanking was over.

I am stood up. I imagine my ass is bright red, my eyes are crying big wet salty tears and my nose is running with snot. I no longer care that my tits and my pussy are fully visible. He walks me to the side of the room. Another spotlight comes on illuminating a leather and wooden spanking horse. I see it and I resist, pulling back against his arm. He pulls me forward and smacks my bottom hard with his hand and pushes me over to the bench. "Don't make me put you across my knee again," he warns. No no no no no, not that.

He bends me over the contraption, fastening my spread wide ankles to the floor on one side and my wrists on the other. He pushes a button that makes the midsection rise, lifting my hands and feet up off the floor.

I saw the photo once and saved it.
It spawned this part of my fantasy.

Oh no. Was this my "timeout" position? My bright red ass fully on display. My legs pulled widely apart to show off my well-spanked pussy and bumhole. My breasts fully visible between my whorishly-spread legs.

The manservant reappears and puts a shallow step between my feet. What's this for?

One by one the spectators rise and come over to me. One of the men steps forward and pulls out his cock. I can see it upside down between my spread legs.

"No... not that... pleeeease not that. Pleeeeease!" I say to myself, realizing this is not timeout. I am going to be used by all the men present!

I rub my pussy raw on my bed thinking about that moment of realization.

He approaches me from behind. He roughly grabs at my pussy with his hand. "After all that, this stuck up little bitch is soaking wet!" he says to his fellow witnesses.

I rub my clit more furiously, reciting to myself, "Oh my God. The bitch is wet. Soaking wet. After a spanking no less. What a slut. She needs to be fucked. She clearly needs a good fucking. Fuck her. Hard and fast. No mercy for this little whore. She's earned it. Earned it. Bad girl. Slut. Earned it. Fuck her. Hard..."

He rises up onto the step. His cock is in perfect position to fuck my pussy. I imagine the head of his cock at my entrance.

I reach beside me and open my bedside drawer. I have a realistic feeling dildo I keep for just such an occasion.

He pushes in with a guttural moan, impaling me completely, to the hilt, balls deep on his first thrust. In reality, I go in more slowly with my dildo. When I feel I am ready, I thrust it in the final two inches, hard and deep and fast. I cry out in pain! All the men laugh at my pain. The man behind me vigorously fucks my cunt, jack-hammering me. I rub my clit with my right hand. I spit on it for more lubrication. I am fucking myself with the dildo with my left.

Grabbing my hips, he pushes in deep and cries out as he injects his hot sperm deep into my pussy.

He pulls out and another takes his place. I pull the dildo fully out, imagining the changing of the guard. This time fantasy matches reality as I shove the dildo all the way in to its base, deeply into my well-worked pussy. My cervix cries out from the abuse.

The fucking is repeated. The deep sperming is repeated. This happens again and again and again. I am crying but the men are relentless. I beg them to slow down, my pussy is worn out. I am reduced to begging them, "please Sir! My pussy is so sore! Please!" They laugh at me and each one gives me a hard, deep, thorough fucking and cums inside of me.

Each time a cock is replaced in my fantasy the dildo comes out in real life and then I slam it hard and deep back into my wet cunt.

"Are you learning your lesson? Are you learning your place?" the original man asks me, stroking my head after the last spectator man has pulled out.

I stroke my clit furiously while fingering my pussy. "Learning my lesson. Yes Sir. Learning my place. Learning. Lessons. Place..."

"I have one more lesson for you," says the man. He too takes his cock out. What's one more fucking after so many.

He spits directly onto my asshole and he rubs it in with his hand.


I reach for the bedside lube. The man in my fantasy shows me no such mercy. Only spit, pussy juice, and spent cum for this slut. I raise my legs high and I lube the dildo and my backdoor. I gently push the big dildo in. Shit that hurts! I wiggle and wriggle on it. I breathe deeply. I make to go potty. BAM! The big head goes in to an audible cry of pain. Thank goodness nobody is listening!

I allow it to sit there for a moment, without moving. Breathing deeply. Fuck it's big. I gently start working the dildo in, deeper and deeper. Fucking myself a bit with it. Eventually it is in to the hilt. I can't believe it. It's so big!

I lower my legs. The bed pushed the dildo in deeper still. I again finger my pussy and rub my clit is I grind my hips on the mattress, making the dildo fuck my ass.

As I am doing this I am fantasizing about the man. Is he my husband? Not in the fantasy. But he has the feeling of my husband, just not my husband. But just like him.

"Take it," he tells me as he slowly and thoroughly fucks my ass.

It is a long ass fucking. His breathing deepens and quickens. I can feel him hardening inside of me. Like a rod of iron. I grind my hips into my mattress on my dildo as I rub my clit. He grabs my hips and pushes deeply into me, spasming as he injects my asshole with his hot cum.

I have not cum yet. I cannot cum with this giant dildo up my ass! I waddle over to the bathroom and I slide it out while over the toilet. There is mess... I clean myself and then I shower. A hot shower. I am still horny. I soap myself. All over. Especially those places.

I go back to the bed as I am drying myself with a towel. I am still incredibly horny. Should I wait for my husband and jump his bones, or should I be selfish and finish myself off now? I opt for selfish.

I have an idea.
Ok, now. I really, really don't want to write this next part! It's so nerdy, and silly, and I imagine is the thing a little boy might do just discovering his sexuality. But here I am, a married grown woman doing it! You want to know what a completely silly slut I am? read on. BLUSH! Oh geeze... here goes.

There is squeeze bottle of lube next to the bed.

I put the towel down on the bed. I lie down, turn sideways, and inject the liquid lube into my bottom hole (!), as if a man had squirted in there. I turn over and do the same into my pussy. I add a bit more for authenticity. I can feel the lube squishing around inside of me. Oops! It wants to cum out of my bottom hole! Oh no. It feels like... I need to do diarrhea. My pussy just feels incredibly, overly, wet and squishy. As I rub my thighs together the lube squishes around inside of me. The lube makes my hands and pussy very slippery. I move my hand to my clit area. That feels good. I can cum this way...

I go back into my head for the rest of the fantasy.

I am filled with cum, pussy and asshole. The man lowers the horse, unfastens my wrists and my ankles, and helps me up. He leads me back to the center of the room. He cuffs my wrists, then raises them above my head, fastening them to a hook on the end of a chain attached to the ceiling. He goes to the side of the room and pushes a button which raises the chain, stretching me out, until I am on tip-toes.

No! The cum. It begins seeping out of me. There is no stopping it!!!! The doors open and more people walk in. Including wives and girlfriends of the watchers! All elegantly dressed in cocktail gowns with expensive high heeled shoes. Servants mill around serving hoes-d'ouevres on trays. The spotlight is on me. I am the center of attention. They comment on my spanked ass. They cannot fail to comment on the sperm dripping out of my frontside and backside fuckholes.

In real-life I get up off the bed, put the towel down on the floor, stand on it on my tip-toes and raise my hands high above my head (what a silly, silly, horny girl!!!!). I can feel the "cum" beginning to drip out of me. The lube wants to squirt out my backdoor! I need to clench hard. But I also feel it dribbling out my pussy and down my legs. I try to squeeze my pussy but it does no good. It continued dribbling down my inner thighs. I won't let it out the backdoor. I hold it in. But I'm cramping a little. Oh oh. Was it too much lube back there. I relax and let a little out. Oh dear. I'm dripping cum out my backside also. It drips down my inner thighs, front and back combining. I move the towel back to the bed and throw myself on it. My bumhole and pussy are so squishy. I rub my legs together, feeling the "cum" between my thighs. I start diddling my clit.

I replay the fantasy from the start. Naked in front of the men. Spanked across his knee, pussy and bumhole opening and closing and wriggling obscenely in front of the assembled men, making them hard. Then paddled to tears! Bent over the bench. Fucked and cum into by all the men watching. Then fucked in the ass by my Alpha. Finally strung up in the center of the room, cum visibly dripping out of my pussy and asshole. Men and woman both seeing me.

The people are all milling around now, making smalltalk with one another. Occasionally I overhear one or the other comment about me. About how I called the man "Daddy" at the end of my paddling. How I was sopping wet following my spanking. About all the cock I took. About John (yes, that's his name) spanking me, showing me who's boss, and then teaching me my final lesson by fucking me hard in my ass, by sperming into my ass. The men freely fondle me. Squeezing and slapping and twisting my breasts and nipples. Smacking my bottom. No man even wants to touch my dirty cum-filled cunt. As I dangle there, spinning gently on my tip-toes. I feel the cum dribbling down my legs, pooling at my toes. My toes are dancing in their cum.

"Just look at that little red-assed cum bucket!" says one of the women present.
"She's dribbling sperm!"
"Ha ha ha ha!"

Oh God! look at that little red assed cum bucket... dribbling sperm... I stroke myself violently, my pussy and hands and thighs and ass and asshole soaked in slippery lube that I imagine is male ejaculate, and have one of the biggest orgasms of my life.

OH FUCK!!!! I cry out as I violently cum, losing all control of my limbs.

It's over. All my muscles relax as I gently stroke my labia and my breasts, giving myself some much needed "aftercare". I am soaking wet from both myself and from all the simulated cum on and in me. I laugh at myself and shake my head. I realize I will have to write this up for you all! My dark and silly fantasies, my self-spankings, my fingering of myself, my "lube trick" to simulate sperm in me. Yeah, right. Mature, grown, married woman!

I get up off the bed still laughing at myself and feeling a bit sheepish. I climb in the shower for the second time and soak myself for a long, relaxing time.

So that was my fantasy and my orgasm that day. All of that really happened. All those thoughts were exactly the thoughts that made me cum so hard.

I know. I know. Someone get this girl a psycho-analyst!

So that was my fantasy during my extended masturbation session. But now it's time. Deep breath. I need to show the two photos. Oh fuck!

First of all, please don't be disappointed.  I am not a model, the lighting is very bad, and it's a selfie. There are so many better pictures of women masturbating on the net (some of which I have included above). You also can't see much because I had to blow up the photo and crop myself because it was taken far away through a mirror. Also, my hand is covering "the goods" because of the angle. So these will likely win the vote for the worst female masturbation photos on the web!

But they are me, they are real, my finger is deep in my pussy, which in these photos is very wet. I was excited taking these photos and knowing they will be posted. I know I make fun of men for stroking themselves off like little monkeys, and here I am, doing the exact same thing and posting it on the web for all my readers, and many strangers, to see.

Ok, here are the photos...

Thursday, July 18

Feeling Exhibitionistic

I've been writing up a new post about a solo sexual experience I had the other day. Yes, I masturbated.

NOT a photo of me (I wish!)

I actually do it quite frequently. I love my husband and get great sexual pleasure from him (and especially his hyper-talented and well-trained tongue), but that doesn't mean I don't also enjoy the occasional ménage à moi, paddling the pink canoe, strumming the 'ol banjo, you get the drift.

Certain things I read or see might set me off. I get a sexual feeling about something, and might feel a little tingle or even a gush of wet. If alone, I might put my hand down there to explore. Sometimes I might touch myself a bit and nothing comes of it. Other times it feels right, and I continue. I don't necessarily have a fixed image in my head. It's more like a feeling of something I consider sexy.

The other day I came across a poem written by fondles on her blog Fondlers Anonymous called The Hand that Spanks.

It was a short little poem she wrote that captured my fancy. I won't reproduce the whole thing here (please click over for that), but here is a sense from two excerpts:
When the hand spanked, this girl, knowing,
that time had passed since her last encounter
would surely mean, her cheeks would burn,
she wriggled, and turned. And the man spanked

But the man that spanked, his hands being done,
finally did undress his self. She could feel her bum,
under her, warm and tingling. It had begun.
And fondles illustrated it with this photo...


Well, it got me going, and from there I spun this whole (frankly disturbing!) fantasy in my head and had an orgasm.

I describe it all in sordid detail in this new, as yet unpublished, blog post. I also found a few choice pics of women masturbating to include. The first pic above was one of them (that is not me).

But then I thought... maybe... I should include a selfie of myself, actually masturbating...

It feels very... submissive... to do something like that. But I am feeling a bit submissive right now.

Should I post those pics? There is nothing personally identifying in them, just a farther descent down the depravity rabbit hole for Julie.

I mean, I will or I won't. It will be entirely my choice in the end. But would it gross you out? Me, a supposedly Dominant Woman, with her legs spread, her fingers in her pussy, her breasts on full display, fantasizing about being spanked and taken...

- and yes, this pre-post is a total tease... but I'm a pretty girl and I need some attention :-)


Blogger taps out in "Embedded" Comment mode (where answers are grouped with comments) after about 200. It's a thing apparently. If your latest reply is not showing up, that is why!
That was fun... next post coming soon!