Friday, January 27

Schoolgirl Punishment (part 6)

Continued from Schoolgirl Punishment (part 5).

So, up to now I've had to dress in a schoolgirl skirt, pose for photos, go over Tracy's knee for a hand spanking, go over John's knee for a hand spanking (!), take a nasty paddling from Tracy, take a belt whipping from Tracy, and then had to have sex with John (!!). You can understand why it's been a six-part post! Mercifully, this is the last installment.

It starts with the outfit. A little humiliating for sure to be dressed like that, expecting a spanking. Tracy's spanking was soft and sexy. When John spanked, though, it was very different. So strong by contrast. I tried resisting a little and felt his easy strength putting me across his lap. No round edges there. All his surfaces were hard. Once I got him going, his hard hand hurt. And I had a strong sensation of there being no way I was getting off his lap until he allowed me to. I found that very sexy, to understand that if this man wants to spank me, he will spank me and I have no say in the matter. Just a teary-eyed, red-bummed girl learning her lesson! Sexy.

But then it was Tracy's turn with the paddle. And this is where women excel. There is a casual cruelty in many women that cannot be matched by a man. That same sort of cruelty would be ugly in a man. In a woman, you better watch out. If she gets into a position of power over you, with an adequate implement to multiply her strength, well fuck you. She will giggle as she blister-roasts your cheeks to a deep dark red!

Sex with John was the most outrageous thing. From almost the very start of my interactions with Tracy three months ago the thought of her husband's involvement had been hot and bothering me. First just the notion that he would be told about my paddling was already humiliating in a tummy churning way. Then it escalated to him watching me get spanked, and from there to touching me intimately, and then to me blowing him and hand-jobbing him while he stuck his finger up my ass. All of that sexual stuff happened the first time he was present. I am SUCH a slut. So in retrospect, nobody should have been surprised that I was putting out on the second date.

I mean, everybody wanted it. Tracy wanted it, clearly John wanted it (though he did not hint, which was cool), my husband wanted me to, and I wanted to as well. So guess what? I made it happen. Like magic. Despite my extreme sluttishness, neither Tracy nor John were expecting it.

But Tracy did make me pay for it. I had to get on all fours on their Ottoman and wave my ass and pussy in their faces as she belt whipped my already sore behind, and adding insult to injury even whipped my pussy lips directly with the tip of the belt! During this entire whipping I just felt that it was necessary to arch my back and stick my butt out so as to prominently display my pussy. As my pussy lips were being whipped I distinctly remember feeling extremely submissive, knowing that John's rather large cock, with his extreme lauded staying power, was going to have at me next. Tracy clearly intended that I would leave their house with a very sore pussy! (And I did).

After my pussy whipping I thought that John would immediately enter me. Instead, I was put on my knees with my hands behind my back, and was required to put John's rather large penis deeply into my mouth.


I am calibrated to my husband's penis size, and John's seemed so much larger! I had to really struggle to get my mouth around it keeping my lips pursed in. Goodness knows I didn't want to nip his cock with my teeth at all! No telling what his wife would have done to my ass had I done that!!! Another dozen with the paddle at the minimum and then back down on my knees to try again?

And Tracy made me go deep. There was literally no way to keep his cock in my cheek. The only way it was going that deep was down my throat. I tried to relax as much as I could, but still managed to gag on his cock.

And then all of a sudden I was put back on the Ottoman on all fours, my skirt was lifted way up over my back, and my pussy was presented. For a fucking. Oh my. I asked for it and I sure got it. A grade-A pussy pounding.

Ouch! Nothing pleasant about this!

As he got near the end and slowed down, I grabbed onto his big cock with my cunt and wriggled on it like a fish on a line. He pounded me a bit more and then I actually felt him cumming inside of me, something I had never experienced before.

Once I was done, I clamped my hands to my vagina to keep John's juice inside of me. I could feel some had already escaped, and some more was wet on my hand. But mostly it was all still inside of me. And all of a sudden, I felt the strong urge to turn the tables on them both. There's one thing about being submissive with me (which probably indicates I'm not a "true" submissive, more just an experimental libertine), and that's after a submissive experience I want to Domme more than ever.

As well-meaning as Tracy and John are, they are not natural dominants, at least not yet. Perhaps in my recounting I make them out to be more than they actually are. In person, it comes across as a bit... tentative I would say. They "check in" with me to a fault, even when there is no need to. And they are so delicate with my feelings, which is nice, but if I was that way with david he would wonder what was going on! I have trained them to spank hard (and now fuck hard) but I really needed to bring them both to it, they were so afraid of "hurting me". I mean, John felt the need to ask me how I wanted my fucking. Oh for goodness sake, wasn't it clear by then? Hard and violent and don't ask me, show me! Don't get me wrong, that is a great instinct for a beginner, but it is a beginner's attitude, not the attitude of a confident and experienced Domme. (Although, as you will see, they do have some game!)

It's like being made to watch a dumb co-worker slowly and painfully type out a document at the keyboard. At a certain point you just want to push them aside and say, "for heaven's sake I'll do it myself!"

I felt this dominant power inside of me, just waiting to be unleashed. I did not feel it during my submission, but rather immediately after its climax (which was John's literal climax). And after a man's climax, he is at his least aggressive, and I knew he would obey.

So I just summoned up my Domme power, and very authoritatively told them both the score (and it's not like they hadn't been warned beforehand). It was sort of funny. I was clamping my hand on my pussy, holding my lips tightly closed with John's semen splooshing around inside me. You would think that would make me feel a bit submissive? Quite the opposite! His semen was my weapon.

I ordered John to undress me, and he complied like a little puppy dog. It's not as if it's a completely unpleasant task after all, so no troubles there.

And then I ordered Tracy to strip, and to then to get her little caboose up to her bedroom for her cleanup duties. I said it in a confident tone that brooked zero dispute. I have honed that skill over the years Domming david. I knew that Tracy, used to being sexually submissive to her man, would obey me. Especially after I dominated her man by ordering him to undress me. Once John had served his purpose, I ignored him, focusing all my will on Tracy.

So I stood there buck naked, holding both hands on my pussy while Tracy did a striptease for me. She could see where my hands were. She knew what was inside of me. She had been told she would clean it up with her mouth. I imagine that thought was in her mind as she stripped for me.


I mean, it was her fucking husband's cum. I should clean it up myself? She's the eager little cum guzzler. Let her do it. Besides, I don't cum from getting fucked. I cum from getting my clit licked. She can take care of that too while she's down there.

When she was naked I turned to John and said, "you stay here. I've got some business upstairs with your wife. Watch some porn and stroke your dick. I want it nice and hard for when I return your wife to you, because you're going to fuck her like it was your wedding night while I supervise. You understand?"

"Yes Ma'am!" he said. Good. I had never seen a husband fucking his wife in the flesh. I thought that would be... I don't know... entertaining.

"You, pretty lady," I said, turning my attention to Tracy, "upstairs. Now."

"Yes Ma'am!" she said with a giggle, imitating her husband and playing along with me.

We were both naked and I followed her up the stairs, admiring her sleek womanly curves. I lay myself down on her bed with my back leaning against the pillows at the head. I spread my legs, my hand still clamped on my pussy lips.

"My bedspread," she said.

"Fuck your bedspread. If you don't do a good job cleaning me up, I guess you'll be doing laundry also."

I pointed to my crotch and she crawled up between my legs and put her face down near my pussy. I released my hands and immediately she dove in, licking and lapping and slurping and swallowing. Ha ha! Now who's the slut??? How must she have felt to taste and swallow the mixture of her husband's cum with my pussy juices, the woman he just fucked? I was cucking Tracy!


And I talked dirty to her. Girl, did I ever! "Clean it up you filthy whore. Get every drop. What's it feel like to lick your man's cum out of my pussy? Slut!" I've had lots of practice using exactly these same words, in exactly this same situation, with my husband!

This talk just made her more eager. And as she licked, I must say I was enjoying it very much as well. I pulled her head down and clamped it onto my pussy, mashing her into me so she was barely able to breathe. I could still feel her tongue desperately wriggling down there as I orgasmed spectacularly! Oh fuck! I highly recommend it to all you ladies, getting a wife to eat her husband's cum out of your pussy!

I picked her up by the hair, kneeled to face her and said, "let me taste you," and then French kissed her deeply on her lips. I could taste his cum, her mouth, and my own pussy. A very heady mixture.


"How's your bum?" she asked me as we disentagled.

"Sore!" I said. And then, "here, I have an ideal." I got up and sat down, nude, on the end of her bed. "Come over my knee."

"What...?"

"Come over my knee, silly goose, I'll give you a nice little spanking. You'll like it. It'll get you ready for your husband," I offerred.

"I'm already ready for my husband!" she proclaimed.

I took her over my knee despite her feeble protests, and I started smacking her cheeks. This is something I know how to do! In a sensual spanking you want to start light, but not make the mistake of staying light. It needs to go up and up in intensity, and then down, and then up and up again, and so on, pushing higher each time. When her ass runs away from you it's too hard, when her ass raises to invite the spank, it's good. You want it up there begging for it, and then you increase the intensity until she runs away, flattening her ass against your lap, and then you lighten up again until she's again begging for it. All the strokes nice and low so that they resonate into her pussy and asshole. Harder and harder you go until those cheeks are nice and rosy and your gal is moaning in pleasure and crying in pain!


"Did you like that?" I asked, rubbing her bottom cheeks with my hand, knowing she did.

"Oh my gosh," she said, "that was amazing. You have to teach John how to do that!"

Nice.

"Maybe next time, sweetie. For now, this pussy needs its man," I said, stroking her kitty, feeling its wetness. "John!" I yelled at the top of my voice, in a most vulgar fashion. "Get your big hard cock up here! Your wife needs a fucking!"

John was up in a flash. Naked. Dick in hand. Hard again (yay!)

I had Tracy up on her feet by now. I spun her around and bent her over a bit under my arm. "Do you like the colour of her ass?" I asked him.

"I sure do!" he said, enthusiastically. Tracy's ass was very red from my little spanking. I was envious of her reddening skills.

I put her on her back on the bed. I slid a pillow under her hips (that's how I like it). I told her to put her legs in the air and to spread 'em!

"Go on," I told John. "Go get her!" I said. As he was walking on his knees on the bed towards her I gave his ass a slap. He stopped and looked at me with a dangerous look. I put both hands up in surrender. His look lingered on me as if to say, "I can still put you across my knee and spank you, young lady!" Ok. NOT a sub!

He slid in between her legs, put his cock at the entrance to her pussy, and pushed in. Wow. I had never seen it like this before! So up close ad personal. Tracy had her legs way up, bent backwards, fully exposing her cunt for a good hard fucking which is just what she got.


I just watched and supervised. And it didn't take very long at all before Tracy was cumming. Amazing from my perspective. To cum just from a cock!

"What about you, John?" I asked. "Got enough in you for one more ejaculation?"

"Of course," he said, starting to pump again.

"'Atta boy," I encouraged, "you don't get two beautiful daughters like yours by pulling out before the job is done!" I know, I shouldn't have. I couldn't resist.

He fucked her some more and then came again. What a stud! Lateish thirties and everything!

"Did she make you clean her up?" John asked Tracy.

"She did," she said with a smile.

"Oh no!" I said, but in a fun way, backing away from him.

He reached over and grabbed my hand, and then pulled me into him. "Me first," he said as he pushed me down to his groin, and pulled my head onto his wet limp dick! Ewww! I sucked and swallowed and cleaned his dick off of all the cum and pussy juices. He then grabbed me gently by the hair and pushed down towards Tracy's crotch. "That's right," she said. He pushed me towards her and I started lapping at her pussy, just as she had done to mine. He held me there by my hair as I cleaned his nasty wife's snatch out for her.

"Clean her up good," he said, as he slapped my ass. Fortunately, the volume of his ejaculate seemed somewhat diminished from what had been oozing out of my nasty snatch so I had it comparatively easy, though I still got a good mouthful of his cum I needed to choke down my throat. I ended by lapping my tongue all up and down Tracy's hot puss like a little Tigress! Meow!

We all then knelt on the bed and hugged each other. What an evening! I won't go into it more, but eventually we each went around finding our clothes and putting them back on. I kissed John goodbye and thanked him. Tracy showed me to the door.

"Next time at my place?" I asked in a lowered voice. "I owe David your pussy now," I said.

"I know, I did agree to that..." she said.

Yes she had!

Saturday, January 21

Schoolgirl Punishment (part 4)

"I'll cure that teenage attitude once and for all. It's the paddle for you, missy!"

[Continued from Schoolgirl Punishment (part 3), after a brief detour into Unacceptable Fantasies.]

Continuing the recounting of my latest role-playing experience with my friend Tracy and her husband John. Tracy played my Mommy. Her husband was my Daddy. I was their naughty school-aged daughter with the bad report card and the inappropriate panties. Mommy had spanked me first, and then Daddy took me across his knee, and spanked my little caboose red with just his hard hand!

No Daddy! Please!

After that spanking I got stood up. I was sore but uncowed! I continued to maintain that spelling was "stupid" in these days of spell checkers. It was a test of wills. My fourteen-year-old will versus my parents' stupid prejudices. Who do you think would win that battle?

"I'll cure that teenage attitude once and for all. It's the paddle for you, missy!"

Oh Gosh. So there it was. This was the reason I was here after all. My Paddle Daddy had made me a fierce paddle to my (unfortunate in retrospect!) specifications. I needed an excuse to get "Mommy" mad at me, so I maintained stubbornly, despite the spankings I had just received, that spelling, for which I received an "F" on my report card, was "stupid". It's a form of safe-wording, I suppose. If the brat continues to act like a brat, the scene intensifies!

Mommy made be bend over in front of the Ottoman, and put my elbows and forearms down. I felt very vulnerable like that! Tracy paused the play to take a photo, my cheeks still showing red from Daddy's spanking.

This one is the most embarrassing one to me.
Freshly spanked bottom fully displayed.
Panties at my knees. Skirt flipped up. Socks and shoes.
Bent way over waiting for my paddling.

She did some roleplay banter which I no longer remember. I was distracted! I do remember her rubbing the cool wood of the fierce paddle all over my butt. Then she pulled it back and gave me a whack. Woompf! It was hard, but not intolerable. I felt it did not have that much velocity on it. I think Tracy was just getting her bearings. But already I noticed that even though it covered both cheeks, the far cheek got the worst of it.

Tracy sentenced me to a dozen paddle whacks. She hauled back and let loose the second. OWWW! That one was much harder! Ok , ok, I get it now. That paddle is a bitch!

Then WOOMPF! Shit! That one was hardest yet. I felt now I had to say something, "it's all on the right cheek, Mommy!"

"I'll have to fix that," she said. And WOOOMPF! Another one this time entirely on my near cheek.

She rubbed my ass some more and then WOOOMPF! Holy Shit! This one came from underneath more and practically lifted me off my feet. I yelled out OWWWWW! Tracy giggled. The bitch giggled! John was there, watching it all, but I wasn't thinking about him, believe me!

I got back into position and I was hyperventilating!

WOOOOMPF! Again she lifted me off my feet, my lower cheeks bearing the brunt.

"Do you still think spelling is 'stupid', Julie?" she asked.

"No Mommy! It's not stupid. It's good! It's good!" I responded. The time for bratting was OVER.

"Six more, young lady!" decreed Mommy. Oh no!

WOOOOMPF! Youch!!!! Ouchie ouchie ouchie. I couldn't help it, my knees buckled and fell onto the Ottoman and I put a hand back to protect my cheek.

"Awwww," said Tracy, and told me to hold the pose while she took another photo.


She told me to stand up and get my forearms and elbows down in front of me. That I still had five coming and they were going to be the hardest.

"Oh no no no no no..." I said, but I complied with Mommy's instructions and put myself bravely back into position.

She rubbed the wood across my ass cheeks again and then let fly another doozy. WOOOMPF! Owwwwwww!

"I'm sorry Mommy, I'm sorry Mommy," I said, the tears starting now.

"Sure you're sorry now," she said, "but you'll be even more sorry after the next four..." What a bitch!

The last four were a blur. I think she alternated cheeks, and some were more square and some came up from the bottom more. It was pure hellish agony getting through those! I felt extremely submissive just then, and extremely well punished. It was good being able to countdown the twelve though. It makes it easier to take if you know the end is in sight!

After the paddling, I collapsed face forward onto the big Ottoman and started rubbing my cheeks. Tracy told me to hold that pose, and she posed me with the nasty ass paddle.


I know, it doesn't look too beat up, but believe me it was! I had two dusky dark circular bruises on my low ass cheeks that lasted a couple of days. And one other bruise on top of that on my right ass cheek that coloured up nicely.

Tracy made a variation of the lying down one with the padde on my legs, "for scale" she said.


On that one you can see where the extra bruise on my low right cheek was going to develop.

She made me roll over into a fetal position and posed me there.


I think this is one of the cutest! Poor little babygirl crying her eyes out after her paddling!

And another one kneeling, pussy on parade.


Tracy then stood me up and made me face the wall, holding the paddle in "timeout".

This is Paddle Daddy's favourite

After the spankings, and all that picture taking, I was still a horny little girl. I turned to Tracy and said, "thank you for punishing me, Mommy."

"Go thank your father as well," she said. She used "father" throughout the scene. Must be used to that form of address! Hee hee.

"Can I sit on Daddy's lap while I thank him?" I asked.

"You may," she said, sounding intrigued.

I went to John and had him sit on the Ottoman, just where he had spanked me so thoroughly. I lifted my skirt behind and sat my bare bum down on his lap, snuggling my butt into his crotch, feeling his hard excitement. He held me in his arms around my waist. I put one arm around his neck, and with my other hand I tugged up on the front of my skirt, up to just barely below my pussy. John got the hint. He lifted my skirt all the way clear of my pussy and lower tummy with one hand, and he started stroking just above my pussy with his other.

"Yes, you wanted to say something," he asked.

"I've been a very bad girl, Daddy."

"Yes, you have been," he agreed.

"No, you don't understand," I said. "I've had very very bad thoughts. About you, Daddy."

"What kind of thoughts," he asked as he grazed my pussy with his fingers. He knew.

"About you fucking me Daddy. Fucking my pussy. Giving me a punishment with your cock like I deserve."

Well there you go! Now the cat was out of the bag. I had decided, in consultation with my husband who was very encouraging, that I was going to get fucked, Tracy and John willing. I don't know what else to say. There it is.

"Woah, did you hear that, Tracy?" he said.

"I certainly did," said Tracy, "what a very naughty little girl we have here, John. Shall we give her what she's begging for?"

"Up to you," he said, "I'm willing."

"Julie," said Tracy, "are you sure?"

"Yes, Mommy. Please may I have Daddy's cock in my pussy, and please can he fuck me really long and really hard, just like you get, Mommy. No condom. I want to feel Daddy squirting inside of me and then I want you to eat me out afterwards."

"Wow. John?"

"Oh my gosh. You two have discussed this, right?"

"In theory, yes, but not about doing it tonight."

"I'm clean, Mommy, and on the pill, and I know Daddy is clean from what you said, and I WANT HIM inside of me! I NEED to be punished with his big cock." I rubbed my ass on his lap and John squeezed my tits as I said this.

"You're very demanding, young lady," said Tracy with a smile. "I'll let you have my husband's cock, on one condition. That I give you another ass whipping first."

"Oh Mommy, no!" I said, but I was secretly delighted. This played perfectly into my fantasies. "My poor bum is already so sore!"

"Take it or leave it," said Tracy, with a smirk.

"I'll take it, Mommy," I said.

"Good. Then stand up. Get off my husband's lap you little tart. John you get up too. Kneel on the Ottoman, Julie, ass nice and high. John, give me your belt..."

To be continued in Schoolgirl Punishment (part 5).

Unacceptable Fantasies

WARNING! In this post I will be exploring some of my darker fantasies around female submission including incest and rape fantasies. If you've been abused sexually, especially in a family setting, you may not want to read on. (If you're here looking for pictures of my spanked butt, go back one blog post to Schoolgirl Punishment (part 3))


So, I'll just say it. I am very turned on by the concept of Daddy Daughter sex and d/s. This is why the roleplay I am in the midst of describing involving my friend Tracy and her husband John so turned me on (see Schoolgirl Punishment). I find this sexy in many of its permutations and combinations.

I am very turned on by the idea of Dominating my Daddy. Stripping him, spanking him, whipping him, fucking him in the ass with my strap-on, and so on. Not at all domming my Mommy though. Mommy could be a partner in doing this to Daddy: that is sexy to me. I explored this quite a bit a while back in the blog. There was some elaborate fantasy/fiction illustrated by 'lil jo on this theme in Daddy Punished by Daughter and Maid; and I exposed some of my feelings in Daddy's Little Girl as well. david and I and a pro also engaged in a roleplay described in Playtime Happened: His Spanking in which I played a daughter, david my father, and the pro my stepmom and we spanked david.

For the most part it's a "Daddy Concept" rather than my real Dad, But if I focus in and think of my real Dad, I do not lose the interest. For example, if I discovered he was a closet subby spanko and Mom never spanked him, I would share with him my experiences with david and offer to spank him. I really would. Even though he is now an older man, and my father, I would still enjoy seeing his penis, teasing it with my hand into full erection, and then putting him across my knee. Well, ok, I probably wouldn't do it, but that is only because of the potential family complications. I would genuinely enjoy doing it, though.

I also enjoy playing the Daddy role myself, but with my husband as my "daughter". Me as "Daddy" mercilessly spanks and fucks his little girl! That was recently described in Daddy Spanks Daughter! and is in fact what got me going on deciding to explore my submissive side more.

As I've previously described in Daddy's Little Girl, my actual relationship with my Dad is amazing and perfectly vanilla normal (except for my flirting with him, that is, but that's on me!). He is kind and the perfect gentleman, and loves me (in the conventional sense!) I did get spanked by him once, lightly, when I was very young (and that has clearly stuck with me!). Despite this one exception, his discipline was almost entirely of the talking and lecturing nature, without "punishment" per se.

When I started playing submissively with Tracy, we somehow naturally slipped into a Mommy-Daughter dynamic in our play. Perhaps it's because she has young daughters, and her only real reference for being in charge is motherhood? Certainly from the earliest discussions of spanking, she started referring to me as "little girl" and "little missy". And I was very receptive, as my head was already thinking about Daddy-Daughter play based on the interactions with Paddle Daddy and my roleplay with my husband (only he as daughter). Then when Paddle Daddy helped Tracy, first with the letter and later by email, he continued to reinforce the idea of me as the naughty child.

When I got my first spanking from Tracy (Julie Paddled!) Paddle Daddy suggested in the letter that she put me in timeout. Here is approximately what Tracy said when she read that part:
Oh no! A timeout! I put my daughter in timeout when she's been naughty. I actually have a naughty spot for her. Just over there, in the kitchen. Should we use that? Just like my nine year old? ... Of course, she gets to keep her clothes on. Unlike you, little missy! And, also unlike you, I don't spank my kids. Although sometimes I sure feel like I want to! Tell you what, I'll take it out on your bottom then I won't want to anymore, ok?
So there's Tracy, clearly enjoying the Mommy-Daughter dynamic of our play. And then during my OTK spanking she spontaneously went into it more, and I upped the anty by referring to her directly as "Mommy":
"Are you going to clean up your room when you're told to, young lady?"
"Yes Mommy."

"All your dirty laundry in the hamper? Every time from now on?"

"Yes Mommy."
She didn't seem to mind me referring to her in that way.

So Paddle Daddy, Tracy, and I were all into the Daughter play. For me, it was my very first real submissive episode, and the fact that I gravitated to the "Daughter" was not an accident given my Daddy-Daughter fantasies.

Later on, when John got involved (Julie's Belt Licking!), he observed Tracy and I playing a bit of Mommy-Daughter, and heard references to Paddle Daddy as my Daddy, but he did not play a Daddy role at all, though he observed me in my Daughter role with Tracy, and Tracy and he do have daughters together.

However, the whole time John was involved, I was imagining him as my Daddy. Him as my Daddy and Tracy as my Mommy. Daddy would see me get my spanking. Daddy would spank me. Daddy would make me suck his penis and then fuck me. Always Daddy.

These thoughts rolled around in my head, driving me to distraction. Paddle Daddy knew about my Daddy Daughter obsession more than most, from my blog and from our correspondence. And he was inclined that way as well, so when he sent Tracy the new paddle, he suggested a Mommy-Daughter roleplay to go along with it (complete with schoolgirl skirt). Paddle Daddy missed the boat, though, when he suggested John may or may not be involved, and if he was involved he would play a School Superintendent. No way! I corrected that quickly when I heard about it, and begged for John to play my Daddy: what I had been fantasizing about.

But Paddle Daddy was only protecting me. You see, I had been reticent about allowing a male to dominate me. I had a bad sexual experience when I was in my early twenties. It was a rape. I never reported it. I didn't know his last name. I only knew he was friendly and hung around. I invited him up to my place. There was nothing subtle after that. He tied me to my bed and he raped me repeatedly. There was nothing sexy about it. I was scared out of my mind. I thought he was going to kill me when he got tired of raping me.

So as a result, I always got panic attacks when I felt myself in a submissive posture, out of my control, with a man. When david asked me to spank him, none of those feelings came up at all. I reveled in it! It was a taking back of power. In fact, I've essentially re-created my rape with my (willing) husband as the victim. No flashbacks there, no panicky feelings, only complete empowerment and ownership.

When I made the "deal" with Paddle Daddy to take paddle strokes on my butt and send him pictures, I imagined myself very much in control with my husband as the spanker. I imagined myself controlling the force of the blows through my verbalizations. I was 100% confident david would respect that, as he knows my background here. "Ok, next one harder. That's it. A little bit harder. How's it looking? Ok, one more then," and so on.

It was a complete spur of the moment thing to switch the spanker over to be Tracy. I lust after girls, and always had a "thing", never talked about, regarding Tracy. So handing her the paddle and having sex with her got all tied together in my little mind. Also, the anxiety with a woman spanker was historically there, but never as much. It was always a shadow of what I felt about a male. Almost pro-forma.

When I got to thinking about the paddling from Tracy, I found I was not panicky at all, but I was excited. Incredibly excited! She wanted to involve her husband that first time, but I nixed it completely, so he wasn't even present.

I then got paddled by Tracy. A rather severe, totally out of my control, spanking and paddling from her. I fucking loved it. I loved the submission.

What surprised me is that when she started pushing for John to be involved (she has no idea of my backstory around this), I resisted, but I also fantasized about it. More and more and more. And I did not get those panicky feelings at all when I did fantasize about it. I was worried, though, that they would appear if John was actually domming me. So I compromised. I allowed him to witness me being spanked the next time. And I was so comfortable with him, he was so careful and respectful, that I allowed myself to be put across his lap (but spanked by Tracy), and allowed him to touch me intimately during the spanking scene. In the bedroom after, I also fairly submissively blew him and jerked him off.

It was fun! Oh my gosh it was fun. I had no sense of panic whatsoever during that whole thing. Just the opposite. I wanted more Domming from him!

So this last time, that I am now in the midst of describing ("dragging out" some may say ;-), I allowed John to Dom me himself. He gave me a hard hand spanking. I was NOT in control of it (I had a safe word, but I felt as if I didn't). After that, which I have not gotten to yet in the blog, I had to "endure" a punishment fucking. Basically a rape fantasy. Exactly the sort of thing that I imagined would panic the FUCK out of me, and it didn't, and in that moment I knew with certainty it wouldn't. I was super excited by it, in fact.

So I am going to declare, that through the power of KINK, I am over it. So FUCK YOU you FUCKING ASSHOLE, you have no power over me.

Ok, that was dark. But liberating. So thank you for reading that.

Now back to my little Daddy obsession. Now that my head is clear, I see way more clearly now that Daddy - Daughter, with Daddy on top, is central to my sexuality. And this has been there since my early teens. All those other daughter variations are reflections of the central theme. Don't get me wrong. Incredibly fun reflections that I also enjoy playing with, but reflections all the same.

It appears as though my sexuality is a bit "stuck", according to Freud and Jung. Here is where I'm getting that.
[Collected From Wikipedia]
In Neo-Freudian psychology, the Electra complex, as proposed by Carl Gustav Jung, is a girl's psychosexual competition with her mother for possession of her father. In the course of her psychosexual development, the complex is the girl's phallic stage; formation of a discrete sexual identity, a boy's analogous experience is the Oedipus complex.

In classical psychoanalytic theory, the child's identification with the same-sex parent is the successful resolution of the Electra complex and of the Oedipus complex; his and her key psychological experience to developing a mature sexual role and identity. Sigmund Freud instead proposed that girls and boys resolved their complexes differently—she via penis envy, he via castration anxiety; and that unsuccessful resolutions might lead to neurosis and homosexuality. Hence, women and men who are fixated in the Electra and Oedipal stages of their psychosexual development might be considered "father-fixated" and "mother-fixated" as revealed when the mate (sexual partner) resembles the father or the mother.
Without a penis, the girl cannot sexually possess mother, as the infantile id demands. Resultantly, the girl redirects her desire for sexual union upon father, and thus progresses to heterosexual femininity, which culminates in bearing a child who replaces the absent penis.
Well, no child here, so I guess I'm stuck "redirecting my desire for sexual union upon father".

But it appears as though others are as well. As I was doing my research, I very readily came across numerous sites such as Daddy Daughter Obsession, Fantasy in a Daughter's Mind, Anna Daddy's Little Girl, Daughter with Daddy, Daddy's Good Girl, Love My Daddy, Daughter Lover, Daddy's Kinky Bad Babygirl, It's really just normal porn with younger ladies and older dudes (nothing new there) but with everything interpreted as Daddy Daughter. I think there are plenty of women posting based on my cursory glance. It seems to be a very common fantasy!

I received a note from a pen pal of mine, D, whom I have posted stuff from before (Reader Reactions to Julie's Upcoming Paddling). He is very insightful (and he makes me wet)...
Hi Julie,

I'm loving your schoolgirl series. And it has been interesting to see your evolution in regard to John. You were at points averse, afraid, reluctant, cautious and timid, yet it was obvious his involvement in your submission to Tracy was on your mind, taunting you, making you wet with the humiliating possibilities. I'm happy to see he is earning your trust, and that you are powerfully attracted to him. Isn't it thrilling to have him as the audience for your exhibitionism and to witness your ordeals under Tracy's control? And did you imagine the things you will do for him and what he is able to do to you? The scenes between the three of you are now even more sexually explosive, but for me the hottest aspect is Tracy and John, husband and wife, assuming the role of parents for schoolgirl Julie.

The schoolgirl fetish for me is not as much about school relationships, but rather centers more on a teenager's relationship with her parents -- and then, to her profound discomfort, how that parent-child relationship is exposed to the world-at-large. As you described so well, the 14-16 year-old girl has reached an age where she is learning the very potent power of her sexuality to drive both men and boys crazy. She wants to explore the role of seductress and is herself seduced by the attention she receives and her position of control. The largest threat to her newfound status is to be seen as a dependent child. She can be especially vulnerable because, beneath the bold flirtation and bravado, the actuality is a fragile little girl, inexperienced, self-conscious, and not emotionally ready to handle any true sexual attention she might receive. The schoolgirl uniform is a strong symbol for this phase of life, and when donned by an adult woman, it is her signal to all interested viewers that she is still in touch with her inner teenager. Past feelings of fresh sexual power are alive and she is craving attention. Does she also remember being fragile? What feelings is she trying to recapture in her schoolgirl uniform?

The connections are fairly evident. With John you are fragile and unsure. He is Daddy. You want to seduce him. On some level, you are being a bad girl again. Before Julie can get everything she wants, there must be punishment this time, and there will be no compromises. Your schoolgirl role play with Tracy and John is not simply role play. You, young lady, were, indeed, that teen brat. You have confessed to your horrible behavior because it is not enough that Julie-the-adult be punished as part of an adult game. Julie, the teenager, is going to get a spanking from her Mommy, the spanking that she thoroughly deserved years ago, that is now very long overdue. Do not think for a second that I dismiss this vital connection. It makes little difference that years have passed. It is not role play to remind you that you were a bad girl, old enough to know what she was doing, but now she is not too old for Daddy's paddle on her bare bottom. When you post the experience of your paddling, that is how I will see it -- a good old-fashioned spanking from your parents as a consequence of your bratty, manipulative behavior as a teenager.

I can just imagine you at 16 and the sexual power you possessed, wanting attention and to get a reaction from your father. Yes, your own father. Your mother's husband. Jumping on his lap with so little between him and the warmth of your bare, nubile body. Were you hoping he would get an erection? I have a hard one just thinking about it, and harder still imagining that young tart in disgrace over her Mommy's knee, the sounds of fire-hot scolding from the paddle as her Daddy watches. Mommy wields all sexual power in this house, and little girls who try to subvert that are taken down in spectacular fashion. What did Daddy see below the roses blossoming on those bouncing tight smooth buttocks? Your most private places, where if a man were to see, a teenage girl might just die of shame? Like you showed on your blog, both brightened and blown up, under a child's school uniform, your bare little pussy exposed for all to see?

Just after writing this, I see you've posted Part 3. This should be delicious.
In fact, D and I were writing at exactly the same time in the wee hours of the morning. In my opinion, he absolutely nailed it. I do have guilt over my flirtations with my Daddy. I do have guilt over trying to "take him" from Mommy. "Mommy wields all sexual power in this house, and little girls who try to subvert that are taken down in spectacular fashion." Yes, that is how it should have gone down. And my role play was not entirely role play. I put myself into a schoolgirl outfit, regressing myself to be that exquisitely vulnerable fourteen-year-old. I took a very painful spanking from Daddy and paddling from Mommy to atone. I also atoned by bending over and allowing my surrogate Daddy to fuck me. It was hard, and my pussy felt sore afterwards. Atonement. It felt real. It was real. That is why it was so exciting.

In my darker fantasies, alone in my bed, stroking myself, I fantasize about giving myself to my Daddy. I am his little girl. He made me. He loves me. It's only right. He is old now. I am young and nubile and exciting. Would it not be a gift to give myself completely to my Daddy? To invite him into my bed. To invite his cock into my pussy. To fuck me hard. To ejaculate deep inside of me. To impregnate me. He made me. He should do as he pleases with me, surely?

Even darker... Daddy has spanked me and whipped me. Nothing seems to help. I need to be tamed. Daddy tames me as only a man can tame a woman, with his cock. In her pussy. In her ass. She will obey from now on. I will obey from now on.

You guys must be sick and tired by now of my compulsive Daddy fantasies. But there's still more to come! Schoolgirl Punishment (part 4), coming soon...

Thursday, January 19

Schoolgirl Punishment (part 3)

Continued from Schoolgirl Punishment (part 2).

So we started in on the roleplay. Tracy was my Mommy. Her husband John was my Daddy. I was their naughty school-aged daughter with the bad report card and the inappropriate panties, waiting with my nose against the wall for Daddy to get home. I don't remember all the dialog exactly, but I'll recreate the gist of it without bothering you further.


John pretended he just got home from work. I hear him greet and kiss Tracy and then they walked towards me.

"What's this?" asked John.

Tracy explained to him that I was in timeout showing off my utterly inappropriate panties. She said she had no idea where I had gotten them. Then she added that this misbehavior was on top of the report card she had just received from the school.


They took some time discussing my grades with one another. My nose was facing the wall the whole time and my ass was sticking out of the bottom of my panties feeling very vulnerable as they discussed my need for PARENTAL ATTENTION!!

They asked me to explain my "F" grades. I told them those subjects were "stupid". I told them spelling was "stupid" because everybody just uses a computer anyways. I told them health was "stupid" because it was so lame. I thought I would go with that approach. In my mind I was thinking they would have to spank me until I agreed those subjects were not "stupid". Helps out newbie tops if the bottom maintains that something is "stupid" so they know to keep spanking!

"Where did you get those panties, young lady?" Daddy asked me.

"I bought them," I said, "with my babysitting money."

"Why?" he asked.

"So I won't look like a DORK," I said.

"And who exactly are you expecting to see you in your panties, little missy?" asked Mommy.

"nobody..." I said.

"Those panties are too grown up for you, young lady," said Daddy. "You are not wear them again."

"HMMF!" I said as I stomped my foot on the ground.

"You DO NOT disrespect your father, young lady!" said Tracy.

"HMMF!" I said as I stomped my foot again.

"That's it. I'm fed up to here. She needs a good old fashioned spanking, John," said Tracy.

"I agree," said John.

"Across the knee, on her bare bottom," said Tracy.

"Yes. If she's going to act like an immature child we'll have to treat her like one," said John.

"We'll show her we're in this together, we'll take turns spanking her," said Tracy, "I'll go first, you finish her off."

So there it was. A spanking from each of them! No mention of the paddle yet... But I still had my "stupid" comment up my sleeve if it came to that. I couldn't leave without my paddling!

Tracy grabbed me by the arm and pulled me over to the Ottoman. She sat, pulled me across her lap, and scolded me some more about my bad grades. She explained exactly why I was getting this spanking. She flipped my skirt up my back, then reached for the waistband of my panties and started lowering them.

I shot my hand back and stopped her and said, "No Mommy! Please! Not in front of Daddy! Please! Let me keep my panties up! Please!"

I was getting into my role. I tried channeling my inner fourteen year old and feeling as she would feel in this situation.

"Move you hand!" ordered Tracy. "You're getting this on your bare bottom, right in front of your father, and he'll spank you next, exactly the same way!"

I moved my hand and Tracy proceeded to lower my red panties to a little band around my thighs. I was again very conscious of my exposure to my Daddy. Then Tracy started spanking me with her hand. She started lightly and then picked up the strength and the pace. She wasn't a very hard hand spanker, though. I could have done much better! I kept a bit quiet hoping my lack of reaction to the spanking would encourage her to go harder. It didn't. Oh well, I knew I still had John's spanking and in all likelihood the very evil paddle coming up. I knew that Tracy could be fierce with a paddle and a belt, anyways. I think it's not a matter of will in Tracy's case, just a matter of strength, practice, and technique when it comes to a woman's hand. As I soon learned, however, men seem to have no problem with it! It comes naturally to them to spank the bejesus out of a feminine backside!!!

Tracy stopped spanking me and pulled my panties back up and over my ass. She stood me up and handed me over to John, telling him it was his turn now.

John sat and gently guided me down across his lap. Too bad. I wanted him to throw me across his lap! I resisted a bit and said "No Daddy," he pulled me a little bit harder and I went across his lap. His lap felt different than Tracy's. Harder. More muscular!

He also flipped my skirt up my back and then began lowering my panties as Tracy had done. "Noooo! Not bare! Please Daddy!" I pleaded with him, but to no avail. He nonetheless continued the embarrassing panty lowering, exposing my fully bare cheeks and my big girl pussy. When John is involved, this is the part that excites me and shames me the most. For a schoolgirl of my age, the embarrassing exposure is half the punishment. Daddy should not see his little girl like this!

He put his hand on my ass and said the old chestnut "this will hurt me more than it hurts you." Ha!

"Wait, before you start..." said Tracy and she went to get my phone and took a couple of pictures of me hiked up across John's lap.


Very light markings from Tracy's spanking that wasn't hard at all. But oh my goodness, that was John's target area!!! He rubbed his hand all over my ass and upper thighs. He got so close to touching my pussy but didn't quite: teasing me.

I wonder what he thought. Was he at all uncomfortable with the Daddy-daughter play given his own daughters?

Then he started spanking me. I was excited. He started off slow and sensuous with the spanks. But it was all wrong. I was a naughty schoolgirl and he was supposed to be my angry Daddy. I wanted a MAN spanking. I wanted to feel his strength spanking me. That was the whole point of asking for this. Didn't he get it? It was gentle love taps. Wimp!

I needed to change the dynamic here, and needed to do it quickly!

"Mommy..." I said.

"Yes dear?" she answered.

"Daddy spanks like a little pussy."

"Oh he does, does he?" she responded with a little laugh. John laughed as well.

"Yes. I think I've been a very naughty girl, and Daddy needs to give me a proper spanking. A good hard spanking."

"You heard her John," said Tracy.

"ok," he said, and SMACK!

Yowsers! That's more like it! Sort of took my breath away.

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

"Ow! Ow! Daddy! No! Ow! Daddy! Noooo! Please!!!"

"Is that a real no?" he asked. Bah! Amateur!

"No Daddy. I'll say my safeword 'red' if I really want you to stop. No means yes."

He chuckled a bit at that, and said, "fine."

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

"Ow! Ow! Daddy! No! Ow! Daddy! Noooo! Please!!!"

He paused after delivering another twenty or so and rubbed my ass.

"Do you still think your Daddy spanks like a pussy?" asked Tracy.

"No Ma'am!" I practically shouted.

"Let me get some pictures," she said.

I lay across Daddy's lap as Mommy got my phone and took more pictures of me.



Oh My Gosh. So humiliating to be spanked like a little girl across a man's lap! What was I thinking of. I should be panicking now, but I wasn't. I just thought of myself as his daughter, and he as my Daddy, giving me exactly what I deserved.

"Keep going," said Tracy.

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

"Ow! Ow! Daddy! No! Ow! Daddy! Noooo! Please!!!"

Tracy even took an action pick of my kicking legs!


SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!" I said. It hurt! With some of the spanks low down on the near cheek his fingertips brushed my pussy as he slapped! I couldn't help but bring my hand up to protect my ass and pussy. John paused. "Keep that there!" Tracy said, and she took another pic over John's shoulder.


Ouchy! A MAN spanking hurts! John took my hand and moved it back down away from my bum and pinned it at my side. He was so strong. It was effortless for him to control me.

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

Oh shit! Ouch! He paused again, and Tracy took more pics. "For the scrapbook," she teased.



"Are we going to be seeing any more bad grades from you, young lady?" SMACK!

"No Daddy! I promise!"

"And no more inappropriate underwear. Do you understand me?" SMACK!

"Yes Daddy! Yes!"

"Good,"

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

Owwwww!

"Let that be a lesson to you."

Tracy  knelt beside me and took a final pic across John's lap.


FUCK! That's one very sorry red-assed schoolgirl!

So I had gotten exactly what I had asked for. A legit hard spanking from a man. I did not panic at all. It excited me in fact. Male energy is so different than female energy! A male hand is so different than a woman's hand. A man's lap is so different that a woman's lap. Starting to appreciate it... Vive la difference.

And I can tell you, a man can SPANK. It's night and day compared to a female hand. John's hand felt more like a paddle than a hand! And I felt tiny. Like a powerless little girl across his lap. Outside of my safeword, which I wasn't going to use, I literally had no say whatsoever in when my spanking would have stopped.

It's a powerful feeling for a female to be subject to discipline like this from a male. If I displeased my male, my bottom would pay!

They stood me up and my panties slipped down to my ankles.

"So, do you still think spelling is 'stupid'?" asked Mommy.

Right on cue!

"Yes!" I said with a pout and a tiny stomp of my foot. I didn't want to make her too mad at me after all.

"That's it!" said Tracy. "I'll cure that teenage attitude once and for all. It's the paddle for you, missy!"


To be continued in Schoolgirl Punishment (part 4).

Tuesday, January 17

Schoolgirl Punishment (part 2)

Continued from Schoolgirl Punishment (part 1), after a brief detour into The Schoolgirl Fetish.

As you can read from the previous installment, I was role playing a naughty schoolgirl, and my friend Tracy was my Mommy, and her husband John my Daddy, and I had earned myself a spanking, both for my poor report card, and for my choice of panties.

We had decided to start the roleplay with me with my nose against the wall, holding up my skirt being made to display my inappropriate choice of panties to all and sundry, waiting for my Daddy to come home so he and Mommy could decide what to do with me.

However, before we got started, Tracy wanted me to pose for a few more photos. In particular, we all knew a paddling would be involved, from a very fierce paddle indeed!


Tracy wanted to show my Paddle Daddy (the man who so graciously and selflessly made the paddle for Tracy to use on me) what I would look like, being prepared for my paddling.

Here is me again in my uniform. I think it's cute!


First I was told to kneel on their Ottoman. They made me arch my back and stick my bottom out. Tracy came behind me and fidgeted with the hem of my skirt. Pulling it down, smoothing it. Patting my bottom on top of it. Her husband was watching the whole show. Then she stepped back and she took several photos. The one below is one of the best, I suppose.


Oh gosh! That skirt really is too short, isn't it??? I seems so much longer when I'm just wearing it normally. I don't do it much anymore, but I used to think wearing a short skirt out in public was very exciting. I liked the appreciative glances from the boys. They just couldn't seem to keep their eyes off my legs, no doubt imagining what was just a tiny bit higher...

Well, when a girl is about to be paddled, the first thing that happens is that her skirt is flipped up her back. Tracy did the honours. I felt her hands again on the hem of my skirt, and then I felt it being lifted and draped across my back. She arranged it so that skin was showing both above and below my little red panties. She pushed down on my lower back and made me hold my arch. She stepped back and took another series of photos.


Again, John was watching this whole thing. I wondered what he really thought about my panties. I worried that my butt looked too big like this. I started channeling my inner fourteen-year-old, imagining how embarrassing it would have been to have my secret red panties shown off like this. I knew the panties were cheeky. Did not quite realize how cheeky until I saw these photos!

"Your panties are very pretty, Julie," said John. That made my heart flutter a bit. A handsome man I barely know pointing that out.

I knew what was coming next. Tracy gleefully announced it: "They are pretty, but it's time for those panties to come down, little missy!" she said.

Oh no! With my butt presented like this, I knew my pussy would be in plain view!!!! I am an exhibitionist, clearly, but it's still embarrassing, I can assure you. Maybe that's why I show myself off like this? Am I a shame slut?

Tracy pulled my panties down slowly, slowly, and then arranged them as band around my thighs.


"Very Nice!" John said.

Oh my gosh! At this point I was hyper-ventilating! The photo above is a bit shaded. I've adjusted the level on this one...


 and blown it up...


That is what John and Tracy saw. That is what it means for a girl to have her panties taken down for a spanking! I hope you pervs all realize that!!! So keen to pull a girl's panties down for her spanking. I'm sure it's all about having bare skin to spank. Sure! I'm sure seeing a girl's bare naked pussy has nothing at all to do with it! You dirty, filthy perverts! How can you possibly want to shame a girl like that??? How do you live with yourselves?

At this point I was having thoughts. Yes, I knew I was in for a paddling. This was the perfect position for it. It's the perfect position for something else as well. I was highly conscious of that as John looked me over. I was seriously considering giving him my pussy this time. This position made me want to. So badly!
A naughty girl.

Bent over. Back arched. Bottom out. 

Her panties pulled down.

A virile man behind her.

Undoing his trousers.

Pulling them down.

His strong hands on my hips.

His rock hard cock pushing at my pussy insistently.

I am so wet.

The penetration! All in one stroke. Buried to the hilt!

I gasp! Ohhhh!

A slow withdrawal. Another deep stroke.

Ahhhh!

Again and again and again.

His wife stroking my hair, telling me to be a big girl and take my fucking like a Woman.

Becoming more and more insistent.

His guttural yell. His hot white cum jetting into my overheated vagina. Splashing against my cervix. His hard hips grinding into me as he spurts again and again and again, deep into my cunt.

He pulls out. I am left there. Exposed. His semen seeping out of my fuck hole and down my thighs like the dirty whore I am.
That was what went through my oversexed brain as I was forced to hold that pose while Tracy took her stupid little pictures. It seemed as if I was there forever.

Tracy came back to me. She gingerly pulled my panties back up and arranged them to cover my private parts completely. Her handling of me was exciting. The pussy show was over. For now.


I was relieved to no longer have to display my vagina for her husband's perverse amusement. Tracy had owned me with that panty lowering. She demonstrated that if it was her will that my pussy be displayed to her husband, it would be displayed to her husband!

She helped me to my feet. She looked at my face. She could see I was flustered and breathless. "You poor dear!" she said and she hugged me. "Did your little show for John excite you?" she asked with a laugh in her voice. "yes..." I whispered breathlessly in her ear.

"Over here," she said, putting me against the wall. "Hold that skirt up. Show us your panties again. Now let's start our roleplay!"


To be continued in Schoolgirl Punishment (part 3).