Sorry if this post won't be up to my usual standard of kink. My special apologies to my loyal follower who is playing a denial game with my blog and not allowing himself to jerk off until my next post. I have a little something something for you at the end, but it's sweet, not nasty. I give you permission to jerk off to an earlier, nastier post, just this once!
That last blog entry described the most intense scene I have played out to-date with my husband. It involved me, my sister, and her girlfriend; an enema for david (with a public "expel" - yuck!); deep-throat cocksucking lessons for him while dressed in girly clothes; a cropping from my sister and a hard strapping from me; a very public ass fucking, hard and long and humiliating; and then corner time with his fucked up asshole spread wide for us. Very intense, yes!
The commenter suggested I was making it all up, was sick to the head, that my readers were sick and how would they feel if it was a woman treated that way, and that I needed to think about the negative impact of what I was writing before putting it out there. Now I'm feeling the blog police breathing down my neck! Is this step one in getting removed? I'm surprised I've lasted this long!
Am I making it all up? Argggghhhh I hate that question!!!! It's a "when did you stop beating your wife" kind of question. Any answer you give is a bad one. I would love nothing more than give you all my address and declare next Saturday "open house". I'll have Sue and Trina there of course. Trina will be getting a spanking over Sue's knee the whole time. david will be serving cocktails in his schoolgirl outfit with a butt plug shoved up his ass. Sound like fun? Not going to happen! I have a career, as do david and Sue, and goodness knows Trina may want a bit or privacy while pulling espresso shots. For me, the only possible way I can blog about these things is if I do it pseudonymously. Besides, even after the open house, these types of people will assume that was all made up as well, and all the commenters were clever deceptions. You really can’t win at this game!
But ask yourself, is every single person who is blogging about a kinky real-life situation making it all up? How ridiculous! And how enraging to think that the only "acceptable" way to live is by some vanilla standard, and every other lifestyle described is some perverted imaginary-only fantasy indulged in by "sick" people. What a dreadful world that would be in which to live. I read other people's blogs and believe them. Maybe that's because of my situation. I know what's possible. I know how freaky people are behind closed doors. There is no limit. And even if it is a fantasy, I'm the richer for having read it and believed in it.
The vast majority of my readers tell me david is a very lucky guy. A small minority (all men) feel the need to tell me that it's all made up. I personally believe that those men have these fantasies as well (why else find and read my blog?), but sit there at home doing nothing about them, not acting on their fantasies for whatever reason, or even imagining that they possibly could, and then lashing out in jealousy and frustration at those of us who do live out our weird-ass fantasies.
Whenever my readers tell me david is a lucky guy, I counter by saying I am lucky as well. I know why men think david is lucky. There are more subby men than dommie women. I could probably snap my fingers and have ten guys bending over for a hard whipping tomorrow. You poor guys snap your fingers and nothing happens. Boo!
But you guys seemed to be wired a bit differently than us women. Wired for indiscriminate sex, sewing your seed all over hell's half-acre if you could! So, while I'm generalising and I apologise in advance to you sensitive guys out there (pen-pal david with the nice butt I am thinking of you amongst others! Write me soon!), I think any technically proficient woman who can act out your fantasies well would meet your needs. That is why there are so many pro domme women out there (and prostitutes, by the way).
My needs are more complex. Like you men, I need a compatible play partner. But I also need somebody I can trust completely, who is my best friend, that I am head over heels in love with and he with me, that is my soul mate. Without these things, the sexy playtime is blah, and just does not do it for me. And I mean, do it for me at all.
Don’t get me wrong, we all, men and women, want what I just described. The difference is that I cannot separate my kinky play from those things, and it does nothing for me in their absence. You guys can play (and fuck, and get blow jobs, …) with any woman you find attractive, be wonderfully fulfilled sexually, and then keep looking for what I just described. That's why you need to be taken in hand! Just kidding. I think it's wonderful that you guys can do that. Sucks for us women, though, as you play us for sex with promises of love, and then leave us looking for the same for yourselves, crushing our souls in the process, don’t let it bother you, though.
So I feel I am incredibly lucky that I can play with david. Now you can see why I say that.
On to the next point, what would my readers think if it was a woman those things were being done to rather than a man? What a naive question! Some of my switchy readers would love it; some of my subby readers would leave it; and other subby male readers would imagine they were the girl. It's all fantasy playtime for Pete's sake!
I play safely and everything I do is with david's consent. He has no safeword, and we have never felt the need. We know each other well enough that I know the difference between "no" and "stop, stop, stop" by the way he says it. It shouts at me louder than a "PeachyFuzzBunnies" safeword would. If you’re new to one another, use a safeword. Sue and Trina have one (yes, that one (!), they apparently settled on it while in a drunken stupor).
He also rarely knows the scene in advance. Sometimes he knows the general outlines, sometimes not. I will scene with him completely spontaneously, sometimes when he least expects it. He loves that! I know what turns him on, and I know what turns me on (or may turn me on - I am open minded), and I only will ever scene things that I think will turn us both on. For example, I will not ask him to take a fucking in the ass from a guy, even though that would turn me on tremendously to see that. It does not (currently) turn him on, and he would not consent to it. I did set him up to take a hand job from a guy, but it was a great call, because he liked it and was surprised by that, and he was in a position to not consent to it (he could have told Michael to stop, he was not being forced at all).
After our scenes we come back out of character and discuss them. We are not "full time" that way. Most of our life is very normal. But when the time is right, and the mood hits me, look out, we are in a scene without any discussion! He could say "stop" and I would respect that. He doesn’t. He takes a deep breath, gulps nervously, and gets his ass into character! Good boy. He explicitly asked me to be spontaneous like this. He didn’t need to ask twice. If he ever wants me not to be that spontaneous, he will ask again, and I will respect that. That is our particular balance between consent (absolutely required) and acting out the fantasy of "being forced".
Did he really "consent" to having a rubber cock jammed so down his throat he gagged? Did he really "consent" to having his ass strapped so hard it seared him like a steak on the grill? Why, yes he did. Did he like those things? No he did not. Does he want me to do it again? Yes he does. Don’t even try figuring it out. I certainly can't!!! Did he "consent" to having Sue whip his balls hard with the tip of the crop? Ah, well, no, actually. I got told off for that afterwards. Sorry, baby! I owed him a bj and a "real man" cunt slamming for that, already paid in full. I am apparently responsible for Sue's behaviour during our scenes. "Strict Julie" indeed!
Here's the funny thing, though. If I unilaterally decide by myself on a scene, and spontaneously carry it out, and he invariably submits to it, then is it real life, or is it a scene? My lines are starting to blur.
Sometimes he initiates a scene. The other day he was very frustrated with our cable box not working, and him trying this and that to fix it, on top of an already rough day for him. I had come home late, had changed into baggy track pants and a T-shirt, and was sitting at the kitchen counter reading the newspaper and having a bite to eat. David taps me on the shoulder. I turn around to look at him. He is in his skirt with a red shirt tied up at his midriff, and holding a hairbrush. He said "I really need it…" I laughed and asked "and what's under here?" lifting his skirt. His black and purple panties, of course, the ones I had forced him to wear when Sue and Trina were here. I smirked a bit and looked back down at my newspaper. "Wait for me in the living room." I told him.
I finished what I was doing (no rush, mind you) and went to the living room. He was standing in his corner, his hands on top of his head. The hairbrush was in the centre of the sofa. "Come here" I told him. He settled over my lap with a sigh. I lifted his skirt, started spanking his panties with my hand, and told him off for being such a girl. He squirmed in pleasure over my knee.
I pulled his little panties up into his crack, grasping them with my fist, and spanked his naked cheeks.
After a bit, I pull out. I whispered to him "turn over, put your cock and balls behind your legs, I'm getting the oil." I insert the vibrating dildo and turn it on. It slides in very easilly. He loves this position for a hand job.
That is what our weird-ass relationship is all about.