Thursday, June 2

Sadistic Julie

For some reason, recently I have gotten into comment exchanges regarding my being "overly sadistic" with my david, and risk harming him psychologically. Other choice comments are "If I find out my wife was capable of doing that to me, or that she was turned on by seeing me in that state, I would get rid of her in a hot second." and "In other words, even if I said I wanted that, I would not feel good knowing that she enjoyed it."

While my first thought was that point of view is narrow minded and intolerant for an ostensibly kinky person, I decided to cover my bases by checking in with david on the severity level of his spankings.

So quite outside of any scene I sat down with him and we discussed it. He told me that I am not going too hard on him, that the severity is just right for his taste. He enjoys the variety of severities that I dole out, and he feels most submissive when he is being spanked the hardest. He really appreciates that he feels completely safe when I am spanking him.

I asked him if he was turned off knowing that I enjoy going really, really hard. He thought I was crazy for asking that. He said of course not! He said he loved knowing that the harder he gets beaten the more turned on I get, and he said it eggs him on to take harder and harder spankings. He said I was surely one in a million and that it was a great gift to him that things turned out this way. So sweet!

He did say that he likes to vocalize during his spankings, and say things like "no, please no, please stop" when the spanking started getting really intense. He says it helps him feel even more submissive. But recently he is feeling he has to hold back on those vocalizations because he has noticed that I lower the intensity or soon end the spanking after he says things like that, and that is not at all his intent. Now what's funny is that of course I know this about him, even insist on the vocalizations to express himself, and am not conscious of reacting that way to his vocalizations. In fact, I assumed I was doing the opposite!

Well, as it happens with us spankos, talking about this put us both in the mood for a spanking! david asked me for a really, really intense paddling to his lower butt cheeks. I promised I would do that for him, and promised it would get harder when he started begging for it to stop. But then I wondered how would I know when I had passed his high limit if I am giving up my usual methods of assessment. So I decided I should start back as a beginner, and gave him the "Yellow" safe word to use when he had passed his limit.

I went and got my little hardwood paddle. I made david strip to bare. I took him across my knee and told him this was going to be a no-holds-barred grade-A punishment paddling. Just what he asked for. He squirmed across my lap and I could feel his hard cock digging into my skirted thigh. He was clearly excited for his punishment paddling.

I started in and immediately went hard at his twin spank spots.  Before too long I was getting the reaction I expect from him. It felt nice knowing I had the yellow safe word. It was liberating. It was liberating me to spank him harder and harder.


Now this is where the sadist in me starts coming out. Usually I keep her caged up, but for these intense spankings I let her out to play!

When I start seeing the legs shaking, the feet kicking, the fists clenching and hitting the floor. The sweat. The eyes watering. When I hear his crying out at the strikes. When I see his butt start to go past red to something nastier. Well that's when I start getting turned on. I simultaneously start getting angry at him for not taking it better. "You little wimp!" I think to myself as I see him struggling under the paddle. "You will fucking take more and I don't give a shit, you pansy-assed excuse for a man."

Oh fuck. That guy's right. I am a terrible woman!

I was spanking him harder and harder and then the begging and pleading for it to stop started in.

"Julie! Please! No more! I've had enough! Please no more! PLEASE!!!"

It's funny because I caught myself at that moment in exactly what david was telling me. I really felt the urge to back it off and potentially end it at this point. I mean, it is really hard to get past the pleading. It was like a psychological impediment to my continuing.

I guess there's some small modicum of redeeming decency left in me.

But I was on a mission, at my husband's very specific request, to erase even that from my soul, so I totally ignored his cries and pleading and just kept at it, hard and fast as I could by now.

I was really exerting myself, and with a pretty heavy paddle, and still I did not get my Yellow! I reminded him "I still haven't heard that magic word from you. You remember what it is don't you?"

"I know what it is," he said, "but I swear I won't use it. I swear!" And then he even raised his ass up high submissively across my lap, his ass begging me for more. I obliged.

I judged we were done, and david had submissively taken all I could dole out. But I still wanted my Yellow. I told him, "If you don't say your magic word, you won't get to get on your knees right here and now and lick my pussy!"

"Yellow! Yellow! Yellow! Yellow!" he cried out.

He slipped off my lap onto his knees in front of where I was seated. He lifted my skirt, pulled my panties to the side of my cunt, and started licking me. Did I ever cum hard and fast I was so turned on!

It was so amazing.

"What do you want?" I asked him. "You can have anything you want right now," I offered him. He would have been allowed to fuck me in the ass if that's what he asked for.

"May I lick your asshole while I jerk myself off?" he asked. He was still feeling a mite submissive.

I smiled at him and took him upstairs to our bedroom. I put him face up on the bed. Right on his sore ass. I fetched my Magic Wand, plugged it in, stripped, and sat on his face looking down his body. I told him to get in there properly and lick!


He did so after licking his right hand and jerking his hard cock. I love the visual of him jerking his cock. I used the vibrator on my clit. I saw he was getting ahead of me so I told him to drop his cock. I loved that it was rock hard, sticking straight up, glistening, and quivering with the anticipation of an ejaculation.

I got myself closer and told him to start rubbing himself again, but to ask me for my permission before cumming. He asked me for permission and I told him no, and made him put his hand by his side again. Remember, he still has his tongue licking my asshole this whole time. The I let him go again. I am right on the edge, and then he asks for permission and I grant it this time.

He sticks his tongue into my ass as deep as it will go and frantically rubs his penis. Then he spurts a giant load onto his tummy and that's too much for me, because I cum hard again watching his semen spurt as he bucks and writhes beneath me.

OMG...

So, yes. Guilty as charged. An inveterate unapologetic sadist and proud of it.

67 comments:

  1. Others don't know or understand what you and David have and what you both desire. Ignore them and enjoy what you love doing.
    archedone

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    1. I enjoy receiving comments back, even one's that challenge me!

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  2. The perfect couple........

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  3. The comments that prompted the post all came from me. You won't be seeing them anymore. I used to really enjoy this kind of activity, but I guess it's triggering a reaction in me that no one else experiences. That led to my comments.

    You were unsure about the "sadist" label when I first asked if you considered your self one, but it sounds like you've now embraced it. That's neither here nor there. I just noticed it.

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    1. Oh don't run away like a little baby! I enjoyed our exchange, and it got david spanked really, really hard, so you should be proud of that.

      I am still not sure "sadist" applies as I am quite sure I would only enjoy it with a willing partner, but with that willing partner I am for sure part sadist! So really no change there.

      And you should by all means continue enjoying all this spanking and humiliation and kinky stuff, and enjoy it at whatever level of intensity turns you on most. I would only ask that you not be so judgy of how others feel.

      Now, apologize to me for being judgy, and then punish yourself by masturbating to something gentle on my blog and swallowing down your cum for me. Then all will be forgiven!

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    2. Obviously, that wasn't the result I hoped for with respect to David.

      Not that it matters to anyone, but I was never quite sure whether (or when) he had a safeword. When the trainer beat him, I didn't think he had one, and I didn't think he had one when your friends got together and caned him. Obviously, if he can pull the plug at any time, that changes things. Perhaps I missed that.

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    3. We have always maintained a "red" safeword for "stop", and during that paddling with the trainer I was within earshot listening for that (I did describe that in the post). But that is reserved for imminent injury, not for limit busting.

      When we first started playing (and for several years) we maintained the "yellow" safeword for "slow down" so we could make sure we were within where he wanted to be. If I got a yellow (which I did from time to time) I would back off a bit but not stop (he did not want that).

      As we matured in our playing, we mutually discarded the availability of the yellow safeword. I had become very attuned to his limits and felt I did not need it, and he did not want that "out".

      What we did this time (by your instigation) was to trot back out the yellow safeword as a way of checking in. As it turned out, I found that it was ok for me to go harder than I had thought, and I realized that I was reacting to his pleas in ways neither of us wanted.

      So it's not totally straightforward, but it really is safe and consensual ("sanity" is relative!)

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  4. And, for the record, what did me in was the vivid descriptions of his crying and unheeded pleas for the beatings to stop.

    Auf wiedersehen.

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    1. He wanted that to be part of the scene. A real plea from him would have been the word "yellow", and that would not have gone unheeded.

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    2. Fair enough. The crying in particular, really got to me. Although, I've been around the scene off and on for some time and used to go to a fair number of parties, I have never seen that. I've been reading other blogs where it occurs in a domestic discipline (i.e., real) context, which got to me even more.

      At least you found out you can go harder, and now you'll get an outpouring of support (and get to enjoy watching me get the opposite).

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    3. Oh goodie! That appeals to my sadistic streak ;-)

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  5. You go girl :)) My (submissive male) take on the comment is that every person has their tastes and their limits. That's what safewords are for. And while you and david had an open conversation about limits, it probably wasn't necessary. Please don't take such comments to heart; you best know yourself and where your relationship goes.

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    1. Not to heart, but it prompted a check-in and paradoxically got david spanked even more mercilessly as a result (which I enjoyed greatly, as you could tell!)

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  6. Dear Miss Julie, This a wonderful insight to your relationship with your husband david. It shows that any one the puts you down, is not know what the true meaning is. david said it, he feels safe with you. You wanted to keep spanking him, but you also wanted him between you legs. He cried yellow to please you. I hope you both continue to please each other and share this with your readers.
    pie pie 4 now
    pieclown

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  7. You two are so in tune. This was just hot and I am rock hard. Being a sadist to me is when you deliver unwanted pain, you two are so in line it is not sadistic. My opinion only.
    Always
    Ron

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  8. A very loving sadist, who gives her man what he so desperately craves. Many men, including myself, wish that our wives would mercilessly spank us and enjoy doing too!
    Thank you so much for taking the time to share with us, your devoted readers.

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    1. Well the butt is such a wonderful place to punish! All that fat and muscle protecting anything vital, yet all the nerve endings right out there on the surface of the skin!

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  9. As long as you two are in agreement and it pleases you both go for it.

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    1. Will do. With renewed enthusiasm!

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  10. You are an amazing combination of sexy power, intelligence, and playfulness.

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  11. Sadist is one of so many words that is used to mean different things. It could be a sociopath who truly enjoys hurting people. For real. In your case, it's a generous and benevolent desire where you are acting out to please yourself AND your partner. Always both. Is wanting to experience pain somehow a more virtuous trait than wanting to administer it?

    Compatibility is what matters. I don't find every kink out there to be agreeable to me. Some fairly common kinks turn me off completely. I ignore them. Why do some people feel the need to poop on someone else's party?

    --brett

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    1. Well, to be fair, if i thought somebody was at risk I might say something as well, as did this commenter. But overall I agree with you.

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    2. I've never seen any indication here that david is helpless in your relationship. On the contrary, it's more he designs the car, and then you get behind the wheel, if you'll excuse the metaphor. But a lack of understanding is something we all should be able to relate to. I'd expect if you were uncertain about somebody at risk, you'd be tactful rather than condemning.

      --brett

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    3. Good analogy!
      And I do always try to be tactful and nice.

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    4. As I recall, "Brett" here gave me a hard time for using the phrase "harsh and merciless" in connection with your beatings in a discussion on another thread.

      Here, I'll quote you (from above) regarding your reaction to my comments: "it prompted a check-in and paradoxically got david spanked even more mercilessly as a result (which I enjoyed greatly, as you could tell!)."

      So, while perhaps at the end of the day, David is getting what he truly wants, my choice of language ("merciless") was apparently not off the mark. Nor was my use of the term "sadist" as you closed with the statement "An inveterate unapologetic sadist and proud of it."

      And to answer the question, I do find it more virtuous to want to experience pain than to want to administer it. I'm guessing many people would. The Marquis de Sade is feared and thought of quite differently than Leopold von Sacher-Masoch.

      The whole idea of consent here is quite confusing. In the post above, you said "Red" is "is reserved for imminent injury, not for limit busting." That suggests that if he has a limit, it is not honored unless injury is imminent. I guess "yellow" is for "limit busting," but you don't use it very often? In that case, I guess no limits are honored or you rely on yourself to honor them without his being able to intervene? I don't know.

      At any rate, you'll pardon my confusion if it's hard to figure what is going on here. Brett apparently finds it crystal clear.

      I don't really care anymore. I was just responding to Brett's snide attack.

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    5. You should care, it's an interesting discussion!

      The reason the Marquis is not thought of well is maybe that he does things to people against their will? (I haven't read his story, so apologies for my ignorance). And also if not, then maybe because he goes beyond being "sane" in his play (and maybe the same can be said of mr masoch?).

      I don't see any reason to think either the top or the bottom role is more virtuous than the other?

      The contract around "yellow" is that he gets to communicate when he feels he is at his limit (as opposed to using the more conventional words as they can be misconstrued during a scene). For my part, I take that into consideration, but may choose not to change anything. That's all according to the contract. If he needs it to stop he says red, imminent injury or not.

      The reason we don't usually use yellow anymore is that we both feel I have a good overall understanding of where his limits are, and can dance back and forth across them, which is fun for both of us.

      And you shouldn't read too much into my words, such as "merciless". I do like using colorful language to describe what we do! I am careful with him both physically and psychologically.

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    6. Do you have a written "contract"? That would be interesting to read.

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    7. No, we don't take it that seriously. I meant "contract" in the sense of a two-way agreement.

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  12. Miss Julie

    you may and can be as Sadistis as you want make David naughty butt red and sore as you want iam sure he wont mind he will thanks you iam sure of it

    good you had the convo about the play and spanking he get from his sweet sadist wife lol can you give him our spanking too please

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  13. Miss Julie

    one other thing to me now and then you sound like a female who wouldnt spank or give somebody a spanking if they ask you too. like somebody you meet on street or in pulbic places if some guy ask you spank him my guess you would turn him down even if he ask you to do it in sadist type way

    but as i know daivd the husband ask you to spank him as rest say is history as he get all the spanking now

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    1. I don't know about that. The only other time somebody asked me to spank them I was only too happy to oblige! I guess I don't see a spanking itself as all that sexual. Certainly fun and flirty though! I think I'd be happy to spank another man.

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    2. Mistress Julie, You may want to be careful for what you ask. You might just get is as in every subby here wanting to go over you knee for a spanking. haha

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    3. Well, maybe I should hang out my shingle and go pro?

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  14. I have a dream. A fantasy. I would like to be tied down and whipped. In my fantasy, I have no safe word BUT I am being whipped by someone (F) who I love and who I trust and who has the experience not to do permanent physical damage. I want the pain to be greater than I would be able to withstand if I had a safe word. I want to be in a place and with a person where I can scream out loud in pain and beg for it to stop and have that person lay it on hard and not stop in response to my begging. During it I don't want to be asked if that is enough or is it hard enough or do I want more. I want the number and time and severity to be totally under the control of the deliverer. A bonus would be if they enjoyed it. Maybe even taking pleasure like whip me then leaving me tied up and having a drink and then coming back and whipping me some more.

    So you see I am somewhat envious of you and David.

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    1. Well I think that's what it's all about!

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  15. EXCELLENT insight!!! Thanks much for commenting on your relationship!! This explanation just makes your scene with David hotter and better!!

    Thanks for blogging and sharing this enticing literature--for YOU are a prolific and articulate writer!!!

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    1. Thank you for your comment!
      I am often guilty of skipping over the "this is actually safe and consensual" part in my descriptions, and go right for the meat! So nice to have a post like this one every now and then.

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  16. While that type of severe spanking is not my cup of tea ( ive given a few though) The fact that you sat down and discussed it with him is great ,he's a lucky man to have a wife give him what he needs .As long as you both communicate with each other there's nothing wrong with what your doing to him .Keep on spanking

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  17. Miss Julie:

    I am the same as david in that it turns me on to know that my Wife, Mistress Gloria, sexually enjoys punishing me. That I believe is the definition of sadism. My greatest joy is in submitting to Her so She can have that pleasure. I can not explain in a rational way why this is so, but we are both happy that we found each other. david is very lucky to have found You.

    william

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    1. In that case I am proud to be sadist too!

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  18. Ms. Julie,

    I am glad you and david were able to chat and reaffirm that each of you was on the right track with a few tweaks. Some of the comments I have seen of late (I presume those are among the ones that prompted your chat) were from folks who did not understand the origin or dynamics if your relationship. At the end of the day, the only ones you have to satisfy are yourselves, and you certainly do that.

    mitch

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    1. Thank you for saying that. I think you are right on.

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  19. As someone once told me, you have to be a bit hard sometimes, or it does not seem real to the sub. If you are to lenient on David, you will also lose some of the control that you surly love. Most doms love being able to tell their subs, "Hey, put your girly panties on and do the dishes sissy. Then, get ready to eat me." David get his spanking fantasy, but at the cost that you are now in control of the relationship. What a slippery slope for David.

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    1. You're absolutely right. I won't tolerate any topping from the bottom. If he wants me to domme him then I am in charge. If he wants me to stop, then fine, else it's game on, baby!

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    2. Disagree. Disagree with the whole "topping from the bottom" nonsense.

      You 'Dom' David because HE LETS YOU! HE WANTS, you deliver because you want to. (And bless your heart for that.)

      You " won't tolerate any topping from the bottom", but he has a safe word. So who's really topping from the bottom/top?

      A.J.

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    3. He can communicate all he wants outside of a scene and I will aim to please. He can communicate the word "Red" and the word "Yellow" (if I let him) inside a scene. Him trying to communicate his needs and wants during a scene beyond those words I allow him is the definition of "topping from the bottom". If he uses his safewords inappropriately, that is also topping from the bottom. using safe words appropriately is, by its very definition, NOT topping from the bottom.

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  20. Great posting. I know I'm not in David's sub space but you did say "What do you want?" "You can have anything you want right now," I offered him. He would have been allowed to fuck me in the ass if that's what he asked for. You offered your ass for a fucking, now that doesn't sound like a sadist, just a loving wife. I would have had a hard time deciding:)

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    1. I've been fucked in the ass by a guy, but not by david and not for a long time. I recall it felt kinda nice...

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    2. Got to have an ass fucking party where you take turns. I would recommend using progressively larger plugs and gradually work up to David's size, so it will feel good. Also a good rimming to get you in the mood. I would recommend saving this for sometime special, maybe David's birthday. John

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    3. What a treat that would be for him!

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  21. Safe, sane, and consensual. And a safe word, too! All prefect. Change any of those parameters you may have a problem.

    I'm a switch. With my last GF she LET ME spank her, and sometimes would indulge me by spanking me (nothing like you do to David.)

    I came back from a grueling business trip during which I called and let my frustration-flag fly and really bitched at her. It had nothing to do with her, but I let'er rip. She said nothing.

    A week later I tell her I'm on the red-eye home and she tells me, "It's been so long. Why don't you come right here before going home?"

    I did. 'Cuz I was going to get laid!

    She met me at the door wearing my favorite: My white dress shirt and heels - and nothing else; told me I was bad and to get to the bedroom right now for a spanking. Translation: "I'm going to get laid!

    I go bare-bottom OTK and get a pretty good spanking; just the usual fun stuff. Red and tingling.

    Then she puts her right leg over mine, grips me firmly around the waist with her left, and tells me I was a royal shit treating her the way I had. What I could not see was her reaching under the bed quilt and pulling out a paddle. I was still screaming from the first whack when the 2nd, 3rd, 4th hit me!!! I squirmed to get off her lap but no dice. I think I got about 10 before I was able to wriggle off - mad! Angry mad.

    Asked her why she did that and she said two things: 1, I deserved it for taking out my problems on her; #2 "You're not thinking about that shitty job now, are you?"

    I smiled. No. I certainly wasn't. Scorching butt pain takes that away. And she was right about the way I treated her and apologized.

    With that she spread her legs and guided my head and lips ...Right....there...and told me to thank her, properly.

    And I did. And I got laid, too.

    She and I are hand-spankers and didn't have a paddle in the house. But I had pissed her off so much she went out and bought one! That is the definition of pissed off!

    A.J.

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    1. I understand safe, and I understand consensual, but the "sane" part seems not quite right for what we do, and a bit unnecessary given safe and consensual!
      ;-)

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  22. My wife spanks me and it seems to be the only thing that really gets her wet. I think that sadistic streak she has it what turns me on more than anything about her.

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  23. Irene, my wife and mistress, surprises herself that she really likes to "hurt me a bit", and make me moan and whimper. I describe her discipline as intense but not severe - delicious welts but few bruises and no blood. If we have any differences, I would like a spanking or whipping to go on and on, but with a slightly reduced intensity. She likes to go at me quickly and with no mercy.

    But she knows when to stop by how I respond. We have never needed a safe word.

    -Rosco

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    1. We sound pretty similar, rosco.

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  24. well miss julie if you go pro you know i be one of those naughty boy who love go over your lap for a spankin lord know you would had given me lot of spanking by now lol alway wanted find out if you SPANK HARD OR NOT OR IF SPANKINGS HURTS from you

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  25. For what it's worth, you are hardly the only one he's been doing this to. He's been trolling my blog for more than six months, going so far as to launch his own "tribute" blog in which he lets the fully ranting, misogynist crazy come shining through. http://disciplinedhubbies.blogspot.com. He has this thing about "sadism" and anything that results in crying. Yet, he seems to spend his entire day surfing for this kind of content. I was fine just letting it go and deleting his comments from my blog, but he couldn't let it go, and started using his blog to launch attacks not on me (he's as bothersome to me as a cloudy day) but against female commenters who he sees as sadists. He can't quite grasp that just as your David wants this kind of relationship, so do the men on my blog. It would be really nice to return the favor with some comments on his, but after whining incessantly about people "censoring him" he has his own blog set up not to take comments at all. Priceless.

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    1. Sorry, my bad, but MY blog is http://disciplinedhubbies.blogspot.com. His "tribute" is http://disciplinedhusbands.blogspot.com.

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    2. Oh well. It takes all kinds!

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