Tuesday, May 24

Interview with Julie

My 'lill sketch slut asked if he could interview me and if I would post the responses on my blog. Happy to!

1. How early on did you discover your own kinks, were their early life experiences where you look back and think: 'That was one of the first times my response was definitely dommy!'?

I didn't know I was for sure kinky in this way until my husband asked me to spank him about five years ago.  But I was kinky in other ways, for sure. One man asked me to pee on him when I was quite young. I did it and found I enjoyed it a lot. He even licked me as I was peeing and that felt soooo good! For some reason I did not tie this activity into BDSM at all and did not pursue anything else (I was young and confused). I just thought he was into this one thing.

I did totally enjoy being a cock tease in high school. I enjoyed getting my dates hard under their pants and not doing anything about it. I distinctly remember enjoying that. I was not afraid of sex (and did give a few hand jobs and blow jobs when in high school), I just found I really enjoyed sending them home hard also.

As a child, I was definitely the bossy one!

2. At what point did you become aware of david having a submissive side? Was it very early or was it some years in? Was it a particular event or did it just come out in conversation? Was it part of the attraction to him?

I was actually pretty clueless until his "great reveal" to me, and that was already several years into our marriage, plus a couple of years dating before that. My boy could sure keep a secret!

3. Do you think that david has become more submissive over time as you have played more intensely?

I don't think so. I keep pushing it more and more and discover new depths in his submissiveness, but I strongly believe it was there all along, it was about how much I had the skill to access.

4. Does david ever act 'macho' or protective of you?

He definitely does and I love it. There was once a confrontation with some drunks in the street and david was cool and composed and navigated our way out of it with assurance. It even got a bit physical and he did not show the slightest fear, which turned me on (after the fact!). Made me want to beat the crap out of him! This man, who was willing to take on three drunks in the street, would submit to me for his beating. Yummy!

5. Do you think there is a clear division between punishment and play spankings for you and david?

They are all play spankings, though our favourite play acting scene is strict wife and misbehaving husband for which I often pick out some real life thing and scene him without warning. Of course, this is where the lines get blurred. After it's all said and done, though, we both know it's a scene and debrief on it after the fact.

On the other hand, if he messes up, he knows a scene might be on its way, and he never refuses once I start in. So he does get punished for real things, but equally so for made up things (I got him legit punishment paddled by his trainer the other day for a totally made up offense).

So it's all very capricious and delicious!

6. Have ideas from your followers fed into how your relationship with david has developed or has it just been at the level of giving you occasional play ideas that have been fun?

Some ideas have been very concrete. But mostly it's just general inspiration and encouragement for me to outdo myself! He's had more public scenes than you can imagine in part because I receive such great feedback from my readers on those.

7. There is plenty of third-person play on your site, as with shop assistants in your recent post. This seems like something that might go out of control with unexpected negative reactions? Is this a concern - or part of the fun?

It for sure is a risk and it gets both of our hearts pumping like crazy with the adrenalin, so it is part of the fun. But I am very careful and monitor closely for any signs of a negative reaction, escalating slowly to keep everybody safe and happy. There have been some non-starters I have not blogged about because of the instant negative reaction to even a small hint.

However, generally our fears are overblown, and there are a great many women who love to see a wife publicly put her man in his place. I know I do! They live vicariously through us, no doubt wishing on occasion that they had such control over they naughty boys.

8. Third person play has mostly involved dominant females(?) Do you see where a male might be involved in domming david? or a second submissive, male or female, might be involved? Is there a safe/workable level for this sort of play that you can see?

I would love to involve another male, but so far that has happened only once: a hand job I arranged for him by a male massage therapist in Spain. However, he has not shown an interest in wanting to play more like that and I respect that.

A second female submissive he would for sure be into and is something I might definitely entertain at some point. I would love if I could make him have sex with her, and then make him suffer the consequences after. Something about having a woman willingly submit to being punished by, say, having to take my husband's cock up her ass just fucking turns me on. But holy crap he would get such a leathering from me afterwards, in front of her, that he might never want to repeat it!

And absolutely there is a safe way to do this. Just go slow and get to know the people you are going to play with.

9. A lot of D/s relationships seem to head toward more 'extreme' expressions like: cuckolding, chastity, forced bi/gay encounters, body modification (piercing, tattoos), bondage, Mistress/slave or stronger '24/7' arrangements. Is there anything that you think might develop on these lines?

I doubt it. We are very happy with our focus on domestic scenes with some public play mixed in, and keeping our play life and real life quite separate. He is not really turned on by those things (though I enjoy the thought of some of them!)

10. Do you find it incongruous for david to make straight 'male on top' love to you when you are aware of his submissive, or even occasionally slightly feminine side?

Not at all. We sometimes do just plain vanilla sex without the BDSM overtones. But I don't orgasm from his cock in my pussy. I need a tongue or strong vibrator down there, so that limits it a bit. I also don't particularly enjoy giving oral.

Also, he confesses that what turns him on the most when he is on top is imagining something a bit submissive for himself. One example he shared was him imagining I as a chambermaid that he was discovered having sex with and his aristocratic mother is behind him, whipping his ass with a crop and insisting he cum into the "little slut" who will be promptly whipped and dismissed after she has received the young master's cum into her pussy.

But no, I don't think of my husband as "submissive" or "feminine" except when the scene calls for me to, mainly because we spend a lot of time interacting in real life as well, I suppose, where he is neither of those two things. To us it's just fun play - like children!

11. Is there something about your vanilla life work, relaxation, hobbies that you would like to share?

I always feel I had better not. I like keeping "Julie" (not my real name) separate from my real life. But after many years of blogging, Julie has become my kinky avatar, and mixing my "real name" with all this kink is somehow less fun for me.

12. Do you get many hurtful or nasty comments that your followers never see?

Almost none. I generally can't resist the temptation to publish them so that I can tell them off (with kindness mostly?). I'll only not publish if we've already been back and forth and I want the last word.

13. Has there ever been a 'scene' that has turned into a 'train-wreck', perhaps where david has safe-worded out of a scene or been really resentful about how a scene has developed? So perhaps, scenes you would never repeat? Or do these things get sorted out OK in after the event open chats?

Yes. We once scened with a supposed pro and it was a disaster. I didn't even blog about it. But fortunately I was there and not afraid to control the action to keep him safe. Generally not when it has just been the two of us as I am very careful (much more so than my general readers assume).

14. Has david stated any hard limits? have any of these been relinquished?

Chastity and involving males are the two main hard limits that I would want to explore and he does not. So far not significantly relinquished!

15. David doesn't know about your blog. Do you think this will ever change?

I am constantly aware that he might discover it. For all I know he already has and it would be just like him to post anonymous comments and not let on (he is dastardly that way). He would respect the fact that this blog is my thing, and as long as I am discrete about our real life he would be encouraging, so I am not worried. If you're reading this, sweetie, thank you! I love you!

16. Do you have a 'dream scenario' or ultimate scene that you would like to do in real life with david?

Yes, I would like to meet up with another couple and have the boys 69 one another while the wives spank. I do believe you've drawn that one for me, in fact!


  1. My wife, Merry, would love to engage in that #16, also.
    I'd enjoy it too!
    Oh, shoot, I'm getting aroused thinking about it, while I'm at work.

    Fortunately, I work graveyard, and am MOSTLY alone all night..

  2. What a super interview. Great questions, and fun to read!

    1. Thank you! I tried to be entertaining in my answers as well as informative!

    2. Thanks on the questions comment Penney. It was completely new for me.

  3. I have been enjoying your blog since January. Do you ever do water sports? Has David tasted your golden nectar? Since you wish to sometimes include a second male but David does not,will you ever push or egg him on that front? If so how far do you intend to go? Keep writing and sharing. Your posts are both fun and learning. It kindles our own desires. Love. Shaina

    1. Not nearly enough water sports! I won't push him, just a gentle nudge every now and then, and if the opportunity spontaneously arises...

  4. Lovely insight!

  5. I really enjoyed reading this. It is so refreshing for me to read of a relationship where the communication is so honest and clear. Fresh. A contrast to the relationship with my wife where I regret telling her my dreams and fantasies / kink. It seems she just sees that as a fault in me.

    I also enjoyed the detail. In a way especially nice to hear on the experiences when younger before you had the knowledge you have now plus the detail where you can know it is a scene and enjoy it and then swap into real life mode.

    1. Ha ha! You LIKED little 16-year-old cock tease Julie???

  6. Thank you Ms Julie Ma'am for being so open, honest and yes entertaining in answering my, sometimes long winded questions. I hope your readers learned one or two things (i did).

    A submissive takes a big chance being such a 'nosey parker' to his Mistress as i have here. Thanks again for your patience and these thorough answers.

    lill (Ms Julie's punished sketch slut) jo

    1. I would never punish you for a question, jojo.

    2. ^blush^ I have this nagging feeling that I'm kind of due Ma'am...

      ^Respectful curtsy^

      lill (Ms Julie's punished sketch slut) jo

  7. do you have any sisters ?

    1. Yes. One older and one younger. david and I regularly play with my older sister (who is quite kinky herself), but definitely not my younger one.

  8. Miss Julie

    Good Job on the interview everything i learn about you was like opening new present make every day feel like birthday or christmas

    did you ever think you and david even this far still be doing spankin stuff i get it role play and all

    i doubt david would care you had blog i mean he may be keeping something from you too

    1. He better not be keeping anything from me!!!! ;-)

  9. Ms. SJ:

    A great interview. What I appreciate about your blog is that it includes the right combination of human honesty and titillation.

    For Irene and me, there is also a lot of intensity and serious role play, but in the end it is a sex game.

    I identify with David as you've described him. I'm into a lot of stuff, but definitely not anything involving another man. You say that he has always had the desires in him. That is the case with me as well, but we have explored many things that had never occurred to me.

    When I was 16, I was thrilled to have my first real girlfriend. She was a year older, and declared herself to be sexually adventurous. I asked her to spank me, but she did not like the idea. This was long before there was an internet where people talked openly about this kind of stuff. I also tried on her panties when she was not around, but I never told her.

    Over the next eight years, I was in a number of relationships - some better than others, but I did not dare ask for another spanking. Looking back there were a few times when my girlfriends suggested spanking me (once with two of her friends present over a bottle of wine), as well as a few times when other girls told me I needed a spanking. I definitely would like to have those opportunities back.

    I had known Irene for a year when we had our first date. Sex was better than ever. I asked her about spanking, and she said she was open to it so long as she would be the one with the upper hand. But I had to ask her several times over a year or so before we really got into it.

    I had never thought much about anything but a hand spanking, but those were ineffective so she used hairbrushes and a ping pong paddle before sending me out to buy a riding crop. I would wear panties from time to time, but she seemed indifferent to that so it was not as much fun for me as it would be later. She brought a dildo into our activities - something that would never have occurred to me.

    We had great sex for 25 years, often at lunchtime - we were both fortunate to work close to home and it was a good way to know we would not be interrupted by the kids.

    But now the kids are grown and out of the house, and our sex life has exploded. Discipline, foreplay, maid service can all be drawn out over several hours. She will dress me in frilly girly things and lecture me like I am a naughty sorority girl. Often she will whip me soundly then tie me down and order me to take a nap. Oddly I usually do manage to sleep, but cannot wait to wake up when she comes back for more discipline and then sex.

    Irene talks about bringing in another woman, but there is nobody we know who seems appropriate. Maybe we will look for a pro sometime.

    What an adventure! It goes on and on.



  10. NOw Now Miss Julie if innocnet David was hiding something from you what worst could happen not like he would be over your lap being spanked worst spanking he even got before

    my guess is if i was holdin something bad or anything from you i be spanked over your lap i guess go for any female too i be bare butt over their lap for same offense

    1. I don't punish him for real, but it would be fun to construct a bun burning scene around such misbehaviour!

  11. Do you consider yourself a sadist? The answer seems obvious, but I sense that some dommes are reluctant to accept the label because they think it carries certain connotations that they are uncomfortable with.

    1. I'm not sure the exact definition so I'm not sure I am. I would not enjoy inflicting pain if I knew the person wasn't ultimately into it. However, I do definitely enjoy inflicting pain under the right circumstances!

    2. After reading your blog for a while, I'm extremely interested in my wife's level of cruelty and sadism. So, in our spanking play, I'm starting to push her to see where she goes. You've made me intensely curious to know what she's capable of and what kind of person she really is. I've read so many stories about DD wives administering harsh and merciless beatings (on your friend Dianne's blog, on disciplinedhubbies.com and other blogs), I've started not to trust her.

    3. Trust is essential. You need open and honest lines of communications and you need to trust her that she is only interested in taking it where you want to go, and erring on the side of less to avoid any injury. You need to trust that ultimately she has your best interests at heart. All that having been said, if she enjoys it as well? Bonus!

      And besides, of all these "harsh and merciless beating" you have read about on my blog, is the boy ever injured? Or is he up and about with a big grin on his face five minutes later and a pleasantly tingly bum that continues to put a smile on his face all next day? I can assure you that even the worst "beating" you have ever read about on my blog, that was exactly the result. Oh how you boys go on sometimes about a little spanking!

    4. If memory serves you couldn't handle too much of a spanking. So . . .

    5. I don't want to handle a spanking, a subbie does. Key difference!

    6. I wouldn't know if the boy was ever injured. You're smart enough not to admit anything publicly in any event.

      That being said, I'm not really talking about that when I say "harsh and merciless." I mean a beating that has someone begging for mercy and crying as you continue to beat them.

      Here's your description of his condition after you let his trainer do a number on him:

      "When his spanking was over, Mags brought him limping and mincing his steps up to me holding his punished nates. I conducted him to the corner and made him stand there with his arms folded behind his back holding up his skirt. His knees were shaking and he was sniffling. He was still in his bra, but some of the inserts had popped out so Mags went to fetch them.

      His butt was a holy mess! His spank spots were legit blistered from her paddling. All sorts of hues of angry reds, purples, and whites directly on his two spank spots. I decided I would keep him standing there for a while to watch the evolution."

      Were bones broken? No. Do I still consider it harsh and merciless to beat a man until he cries uncontrollably and limps. Absolutely.

      If I find out my wife was capable of doing that to me, would I get rid of her or that she was turned on by seeing me in that state: In a hot second.

    7. And you might be very justified in doing so if it was non-consensual. In our case it is consensual and is something my husband has been built up to and craves, and he confirmed afterwards that it did press his limits, but that he loved the experience.

      Wherever your limits are, if you and your wife never pushes them a bit then I think you are missing out.

    8. As I said, she is pushing them, and I'm instigating it.

      For me, the issue is not my consent. It's got to do with my knowledge that there are certain things she doesn't have the stomach to do to me (like beat me until I limp or am bawling uncontrollably). In other words, even if I said I wanted that, I would not feel good knowing that she enjoyed it. I don't disagree with your perspective and emphasis on consent, it's just not where my head is at with the whole thing.

    9. I for one enjoy it in large part because I know he wants it, and if I did it reluctantly and hating it then it would be no good for anyone. So let's agree that it's good that you and your wife are well matched, and good that me and my husband are well matched!

    10. It's not "harsh and merciless" to give someone what they want. It's also not "cruel." As long as no one is being injured.

      Is sadomasochism involved? Yeah, I guess. The kind of partner I'd want to get rid of is a manipulative one who makes kinky play into a test of character.


    11. well put, brett.
      Sadistic for the right reasons and in the right circumstances and proud of it!

    12. Yeah, well said Brett. You sure showed me.

  12. What a great interview, with two of my favorite people. Thank you, thank you!! s

  13. This was really nice. You are so intelligent bright but freakin sexy as hell. Love it. I love you early on bring the tease sending boys home with hard ons that is hot

  14. Miss Julie

    i know dont punish for real life offene but i do agree be good role playing blistering thing to do maybe make something up he hiding from you then his butt bun all yours to spank hard

  15. My wife just bought new slippers made of some new type of polymers, it hurts like nothing I tried before. These are really weapons of ass destruction.

  16. What a lovely interview. In the world wide web of pretend, You are a beacon of truth and honesty. The words You speak are always the frank and perfectly well stated. It is a joy that You enjoy what You do especially since You are happy to push boundaries. How lucky Your husband is. It is a world that many would wish to have, but at best have to encourage an unwilling partner.

    As You have stated, Your relationship is completely consensual and should never become dull. Yet You can be vanilla at Your will.

    It is an honour to read Your blog and to be excited about where You will take me next!! luv kim xxx