Interview with Julie

My 'lill sketch slut asked if he could interview me and if I would post the responses on my blog. Happy to!

1. How early on did you discover your own kinks, were their early life experiences where you look back and think: 'That was one of the first times my response was definitely dommy!'?

I didn't know I was for sure kinky in this way until my husband asked me to spank him about five years ago.  But I was kinky in other ways, for sure. One man asked me to pee on him when I was quite young. I did it and found I enjoyed it a lot. He even licked me as I was peeing and that felt soooo good! For some reason I did not tie this activity into BDSM at all and did not pursue anything else (I was young and confused). I just thought he was into this one thing.

I did totally enjoy being a cock tease in high school. I enjoyed getting my dates hard under their pants and not doing anything about it. I distinctly remember enjoying that. I was not afraid of sex (and did give a few hand jobs and blow jobs when in high school), I just found I really enjoyed sending them home hard also.

As a child, I was definitely the bossy one!


2. At what point did you become aware of david having a submissive side? Was it very early or was it some years in? Was it a particular event or did it just come out in conversation? Was it part of the attraction to him?

I was actually pretty clueless until his "great reveal" to me, and that was already several years into our marriage, plus a couple of years dating before that. My boy could sure keep a secret!


3. Do you think that david has become more submissive over time as you have played more intensely?

I don't think so. I keep pushing it more and more and discover new depths in his submissiveness, but I strongly believe it was there all along, it was about how much I had the skill to access.


4. Does david ever act 'macho' or protective of you?

He definitely does and I love it. There was once a confrontation with some drunks in the street and david was cool and composed and navigated our way out of it with assurance. It even got a bit physical and he did not show the slightest fear, which turned me on (after the fact!). Made me want to beat the crap out of him! This man, who was willing to take on three drunks in the street, would submit to me for his beating. Yummy!


5. Do you think there is a clear division between punishment and play spankings for you and david?

They are all play spankings, though our favourite play acting scene is strict wife and misbehaving husband for which I often pick out some real life thing and scene him without warning. Of course, this is where the lines get blurred. After it's all said and done, though, we both know it's a scene and debrief on it after the fact.

On the other hand, if he messes up, he knows a scene might be on its way, and he never refuses once I start in. So he does get punished for real things, but equally so for made up things (I got him legit punishment paddled by his trainer the other day for a totally made up offense).

So it's all very capricious and delicious!


6. Have ideas from your followers fed into how your relationship with david has developed or has it just been at the level of giving you occasional play ideas that have been fun?

Some ideas have been very concrete. But mostly it's just general inspiration and encouragement for me to outdo myself! He's had more public scenes than you can imagine in part because I receive such great feedback from my readers on those.


7. There is plenty of third-person play on your site, as with shop assistants in your recent post. This seems like something that might go out of control with unexpected negative reactions? Is this a concern - or part of the fun?

It for sure is a risk and it gets both of our hearts pumping like crazy with the adrenalin, so it is part of the fun. But I am very careful and monitor closely for any signs of a negative reaction, escalating slowly to keep everybody safe and happy. There have been some non-starters I have not blogged about because of the instant negative reaction to even a small hint.

However, generally our fears are overblown, and there are a great many women who love to see a wife publicly put her man in his place. I know I do! They live vicariously through us, no doubt wishing on occasion that they had such control over they naughty boys.


8. Third person play has mostly involved dominant females(?) Do you see where a male might be involved in domming david? or a second submissive, male or female, might be involved? Is there a safe/workable level for this sort of play that you can see?

I would love to involve another male, but so far that has happened only once: a hand job I arranged for him by a male massage therapist in Spain. However, he has not shown an interest in wanting to play more like that and I respect that.

A second female submissive he would for sure be into and is something I might definitely entertain at some point. I would love if I could make him have sex with her, and then make him suffer the consequences after. Something about having a woman willingly submit to being punished by, say, having to take my husband's cock up her ass just fucking turns me on. But holy crap he would get such a leathering from me afterwards, in front of her, that he might never want to repeat it!

And absolutely there is a safe way to do this. Just go slow and get to know the people you are going to play with.


9. A lot of D/s relationships seem to head toward more 'extreme' expressions like: cuckolding, chastity, forced bi/gay encounters, body modification (piercing, tattoos), bondage, Mistress/slave or stronger '24/7' arrangements. Is there anything that you think might develop on these lines?

I doubt it. We are very happy with our focus on domestic scenes with some public play mixed in, and keeping our play life and real life quite separate. He is not really turned on by those things (though I enjoy the thought of some of them!)


10. Do you find it incongruous for david to make straight 'male on top' love to you when you are aware of his submissive, or even occasionally slightly feminine side?

Not at all. We sometimes do just plain vanilla sex without the BDSM overtones. But I don't orgasm from his cock in my pussy. I need a tongue or strong vibrator down there, so that limits it a bit. I also don't particularly enjoy giving oral.

Also, he confesses that what turns him on the most when he is on top is imagining something a bit submissive for himself. One example he shared was him imagining I as a chambermaid that he was discovered having sex with and his aristocratic mother is behind him, whipping his ass with a crop and insisting he cum into the "little slut" who will be promptly whipped and dismissed after she has received the young master's cum into her pussy.

But no, I don't think of my husband as "submissive" or "feminine" except when the scene calls for me to, mainly because we spend a lot of time interacting in real life as well, I suppose, where he is neither of those two things. To us it's just fun play - like children!

11. Is there something about your vanilla life work, relaxation, hobbies that you would like to share?

I always feel I had better not. I like keeping "Julie" (not my real name) separate from my real life. But after many years of blogging, Julie has become my kinky avatar, and mixing my "real name" with all this kink is somehow less fun for me.


12. Do you get many hurtful or nasty comments that your followers never see?

Almost none. I generally can't resist the temptation to publish them so that I can tell them off (with kindness mostly?). I'll only not publish if we've already been back and forth and I want the last word.


13. Has there ever been a 'scene' that has turned into a 'train-wreck', perhaps where david has safe-worded out of a scene or been really resentful about how a scene has developed? So perhaps, scenes you would never repeat? Or do these things get sorted out OK in after the event open chats?

Yes. We once scened with a supposed pro and it was a disaster. I didn't even blog about it. But fortunately I was there and not afraid to control the action to keep him safe. Generally not when it has just been the two of us as I am very careful (much more so than my general readers assume).


14. Has david stated any hard limits? have any of these been relinquished?

Chastity and involving males are the two main hard limits that I would want to explore and he does not. So far not significantly relinquished!


15. David doesn't know about your blog. Do you think this will ever change?

I am constantly aware that he might discover it. For all I know he already has and it would be just like him to post anonymous comments and not let on (he is dastardly that way). He would respect the fact that this blog is my thing, and as long as I am discrete about our real life he would be encouraging, so I am not worried. If you're reading this, sweetie, thank you! I love you!


16. Do you have a 'dream scenario' or ultimate scene that you would like to do in real life with david?

Yes, I would like to meet up with another couple and have the boys 69 one another while the wives spank. I do believe you've drawn that one for me, in fact!