Tim Punished

Some of you were wondering what happened to Tim's cartoon that appeared briefly on my last post and was then removed. I will share with you the whole story and its aftermath here. It makes for an interesting case study in online boorish behaviour, something I am subjected to with some regularity.

Tim, a.k.a. "Hattrick" was the person I was bantering back and forth with in my post Are Women Just Wired to be Submissive. He lit the flame that got me started on my family swatting and the several weeks of submissiveness that ensued. Towards the end of that, as I was considering swapping roles, Tim sent me a gift in an email.

Hi julie,
I just thought these might be a couple of fun cartoons for you! 😉
Cheers
Tim

I interpreted these as a gift to do with as I pleased (was I wrong on that count?) and used the second one in my blog post Tables Turned! to illustrate what was going on in my mind as I was preparing for the turn. I added a cheeky caption to it attributing it to "tim" and thanking him for sending it. I deliberately lower-cased his name as we had been going back and forth on the lower-case / upper-case thing, and in my mind this was a continuation of a fun flirtation.

Well, Tim behaved poorly. We exchanged comments on that blog post (since removed), but I have them all in my email still.

His first comment was

So julie I Think you made a Typo in The carToon capTion use missed a CAPITAL “T” as in TIM. Perhaps you just forgot “one of my readers named Tim (there is more than one tim, but this one I have to capitalize from now on,” …TIM ;-)

The comment struck me as not being so playful in tone as I would have expected, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and responded cheekily.

I'm sorry, timmy, you must be referring to my subby identical twin sister, julie. ;-)

Soon after I wrote this, I received a lengthy email from Tim.

Well julie....

I must say I'm very disappointed in you.

I know that you will not respond well to this 'verbal spanking', I also know, from previous experience, that you will spin it to look like you are "definitely in the right", but unfortunately, however you spin it, what ever good will that may have been established has been torn down, and for what? An unnecessary display of wannabe dommyness for your blog!!

Not only did you use my recent cartoon in your latest blog post (Tables Turned), without my explicit permission, but you've reverted back to referring to me in lowercase; the same as all the rest of the masturbating, submissive, cum guzzling sycophants. Something I thought you'd have realized by now that I'm not! This email should be proof of that! While some other reader would be choking back his cum right now all you've done is made me angry and disappointed, (not that you care).

I am less angry about the use of the cartoon than I am about the lowercase name. I would have, in all likely hood, agreed to it's use anyway, but it would have been nice to have been asked rather than it be assumed! At first I thought it must be just a typo and was willing to give the benefit of the doubt (re my nudge, nudge comment on the blog). After reading the post again carefully, that is clearly not the case, it was no typo. There is no misinterpretation of the words "but this one I have to capitalize from now on" those words are quite clear and indisputable no matter how you try to spin Doctor them. You may very well point out that I have still being addressing you in lowercase. That is very true, but I never made a claim to do otherwise, and as events have now shown I was justified in continuing to do so! I would have eventually changed my form address had the respect toward me continued as professed, clearly it has not. They were your words, not mine, you published them for all your blog fiefdom to read. That is what is so disappointing!

I thought we had moved past that, I earned that respect.

I thought you would have had more integrity than that!

Very, very disappointed!!!

That was a very long, petty, and annoying email. I am VERY protective of my "cum guzzling" fans!!! You are the greatest guys on Earth, and what nerve with this guy? And so petty! And trying to act all "above" and Dommy? Give me a fucking break. All he's displaying here is his very thin skin. TOTAL turn off to display so much insecurity while pretending to be a Dom. yuck.

Soon after that email he must have seen my return comment, and his comment back got even angrier.

TIMMY IS NOT THE LEAST BIT AMUSED!!!! THIS REFERS TO BOTH subby julie AND her wannabe domme twin!!
Also kindly remove the cartoon as you do not have explicit permission to use it!!

I did not publish this one, and I was starting to get a little freaked out by the vehemence. As if he was so invested in Domming me that he was incapable of bantering. I deleted the comment, ignored the above email diatribe, and wrote him a polite email.

Tim,

In regards to your comment that I deleted, please remember that you're a guest on my blog. This is a Dommy post, intended for my subie readers. I will not be breaking character on this post.

Best Regards,

Julie

He wrote me an email back

Julie,

That's fine I shall refrain from making in further comments on this post!

However, please note that you were still not given explicit permission to use this cartoon, therefore I must insist that you remove it. I will also ask that you refrain from using any other materials that I may have sent you, that you have not received explicit permission to use

Best Regards.

Tim

Well I was now getting more than a little annoyed at Tim. Isn't it annoying how he copied my letter format? I had constructed the blog post using the cartoon and I would have to edit it in order to work around it. But I had zero desire to lift a single finger for somebody displaying this sort of boorish attitude. I wrote back.

I find that to be very petty of you tim, and a transparent attempt to dominate me.

You sent it to me unsolicited for my own use without limitation and so I shall use it as I see fit.

I will remove the caption crediting you, however.

Julie

Then he responded with more of the same.

The fact that you find this to be petty, julie, is of little consequence to me. In so far as an attempt to dominate don't flatter yourself I really couldn't care less.

Yes the material, as with other material, was sent unsolicited, as was other material that permission to use was requested in advance . However without lilmitation for use as you deem, I don't think so. However please feel free to point me in the direction of the statement on your blog that so specifies that "unsolicited material sent to the blog owner becomes the sole proprietary property of the blog owner for use at their descreation and the author and or producer of said material waives any and all rights to such material". Show me where that statement, or similar, is on your blog and I will stand down!

Otherwise save yourself the grief and take it and the accompanying caption down.

Tim

Ok, at this point I read this as some sort of pseudo-legal threat to me, and it scared me. He might contact Google, claim it was his work, and make more vindictive claims regarding my blog and have it taken down. I am feeling vulnerable with all the sexual content I post. Or he might be threatening to dox me somehow? I don't know. Last thing I wanted to do was to deal with a lunatic. I responded with one line:

Fine. Good riddance.

I removed the cartoon and all comments referencing him from that blog entry and hoped he would just stop harassing me.

Well, a few days later Tim comes crawling back to me, half-repentant.

Julie,

I have been reading the comments so I am going to assume that you have not as yet flagged my emails as trash?

I understand that you are peeved with me, as I am with you.

I would like to point out that you are not the only agreived party here and therefore not completely blameless in this! You did renege on captilizing my name, something you publibly vowed to do, then tried to fluff it off and then hide behind your dommy persona. You did use something without express permission. You had not done that in the past, you always asked first that set a presedent.

I on the other hand realise that I behaved very very badly and boorish to the situation.

I believe there is room for restitution on both sides. I would like to propose that we check or Dom/sub personas and discuss this as adults to reach an amicable resolution satifactory to both of us.

If you are not in the least bit interested then that's fine. We can just both travel the good riddance highway!

I know I should have just ghosted him, but I believe in peace and reconciliation, not war, so I hoped there was a chance at saving the situation, but it would only be on my terms.

Hi Tim,

At least we can agree that you did behave very poorly.

You frightened me with your aggressive email. I am very concerned about being doxed, and also concerned that the blog may be taken down at any moment by Google if people complain, and thousands would lose this forum. As you know, I make no money from this at all, and frankly losing the blog might be a relief as it is a big time commitment, but I would feel genuinely bad for the fans. Based on the tone of your message, which was out of all proportion to the good-natured teasing regarding the capitalization of your name, I was quite concerned that you are not stable.

You will have to earn my trust back.

I tried to take a balanced and even tone, and refrained from referring to places where he felt I did him wrong (which I disagreed with, but thought it not worth discussing).

Rome was not built in a day, and Tim wrote back again,

Hi Julie,

You replied back so I'm hoping this is a sign that we can perhaps move forward with this.

First, I would like to reassure you that you were never at risk of losing this blog at any time. At the very least not from me! As pissed as I was at the time I never had any intention of going to Google or who ever the watch dog for blogs may be. I would not and could not do that to you or your loyal readers, and whether or not I am banned for life, believe me I would miss it too! (What is doxed by the way?)

I understand that there are now trust issues. They exsist for both of us.

Right now I am not seeing any acceptance for some of the blame here. When someone tells me something I have a tendency to take them at their word and believe they will follow through with what they say! I trust that they are not lying to me or playing me! When they don't, follow through, they lose my trust and my loyalty. I believe the good natured teasing regarding the capitalization of my name was nothing more than a way to try to skirt the issue, after I had already raised it. I still to this point do not understand your reasing for it (the lowercase lettering) both it and the explantions for it made no sense given your previous declaration.

If you truly feel that you are blameless here then I don't believe there is a chance for us to move forward. Please do not view this as some veiled transparent attempt to dominate you, it is not.

It is an attempt to establish that neither of us are blameless here, that we both have a certain amount of responsilbilty to shoulder and we both have trust to rebuild.

If you are willing to admit to, and accept, some of the liabilty here, then I have a proposal I would like to pitch. However it is contingient on that admission.

If not then I guess we are truly done.

Thanks,

Tim

As I said, Rome was not built in a day, but I was getting some movement here. And I felt that if only Tim would understand the differences in our situation, he might be made into a better, nicer person and think more of others in general. So I gave it another try, still on my terms (I DO NOT give up where there's hope).

Here's the difference, Tim.

In one case it's you being obsessed by the difference between "tim" and "Tim" and ascribing a ridiculous importance to something that is absolutely silly. What I did was referring to you as "tim" in a playful and cheeky and in fact flirty way on my own blog, in a polite caption crediting you for your cartoon which you made and sent to me as a lovely gift.

In the other case it's you making things extremely awkward for me, genuinely worrying me, and forcing me to physically change my blog entry after it has already been posted, which people noticed. Your coercive overreaction frankly made me very concerned. I did not think I overreacted at all to your frightening threats. "Doxing" is exposing an anonymous Internet person's true identity. My career and relationships are at risk from it. It's no insignificant thing for me. And protecting the blog is no insignificant thing for me either. What else other than these things could you have meant by your threats? In all my years corresponding with hundreds of men, nobody has ever been as bullying and impolite and threatening towards me as you have been. I urge you to re-read your email to me and try to put yourself in my shoes.

If you think there is any sort of parity here as to who did the most harm to whom, you are very mistaken.

Well, after this message, something must have happened and he finally saw the light. Yay!

Hello Julie,

I apologize....I apologize for my bad behaviour, my ill manners, my temper tantrums and in general poor attitude.... I apologize for the problems, the aggravation, the stress, and the fear I have caused you. There is no excuse for it.

I want you to know that this is not some attempt to try to appease you, I do not expect any forgiveness, that I have overstayed my welcome here is a foregone conclusion.

This is a heart felt, no strings attached, apology for everything.

I am truly sorry!!

Tim

Ahhh! That felt good. So rare that a person actually comes around like this. I responded back.

Hi Tim,

Your apology is accepted and you are forgiven. I do not hold grudges and am relieved that you are not a threat.

You do get quite angry at perceived slights. Is that a "thing" you are trying to deal with?

Would it make you feel better if I assigned you a mild punishment of my choosing?

Actually, I really, really wanted to punish Tim, which is why I added the last, but I wanted to suggest it in a way that would not restart the wars and would see the greatest likelihood of him actually accepting my punishment. Initially I was a bit disappointed at his response.

Hi Julie,

Thank you for your graciousness and your forgiveness. You are a far better person than I.

No this is not something I'm working on. Believe it or not I am normally a very calm and collected person. Now that the dust has settled even I am having hard time understanding my outburst and subsequent rampage. It is hugely embarassing.

Thank you for the offer of a mild punishment but it won't be needed. I am already in the process of arranging for my own well spanked ass as punishment. It won't be happening right away, but it will be happening!

In the meantime I will be staying away, from the blog, until such time as I have been appropriately punished for my actions. If that is alright with you?

Tim

A day later, before I had a chance to respond, he sent me another email.

Hi Julie,

Further to my previous email, I have been thinking about your offer of a mild punishment! I don't know if it will make me feel better, but I do feel it is now the right thing for me to do, to help make amends, especially knowing that it is coming from you as the wronged party.

This will not be replacing the hard spanking I have already mentioned. That I will be getting regardless!

So...(gulp!)

Ms. Julie, may I please be assigned a mild punishment, of your choosing, as restitution for my actions?

Thank You,

timmy

Ahhh! A contrite little boy. Finally. I responded.

Good decision. I can respect that. Get a pad of paper and a pen, and write out 100 times by hand,

    "I must not behave badly, be ill mannered, or have temper tantrums online."

Take a photo of the results and send it to me. I won't publish it unless you ask me to in order to make full online penance (which would also include a photo of your spanked bum).

Quite mild, and I would not publish it unless I had him asking me to. I DO NOT believe in publishing anything of a personal or private nature without the full buy-in of the involved parties.

Ms Julie,

Thank you for assigning the punishment to me.

Attached are the photos of my 100 hand written lines as requested. I hope they meet your expectations.

I would like you to know that I also received my spanking! My bottom is quite red, sore and welted even though it may not look that way in the photos. I have attached two photos of my spanked bottom. I am holding a note which says "timmy's spanked bum" so that you'll know it is actually my bottom.

Please, Ms Julie may I ask you to publish them so that I can make my full online penance complete.

Thank you Ms Julie,
timmy

Well is not that just a delight! I wrote back, still in my stern mode.

Ok Tim,

But in addition I will have to re-publish the cartoon and excerpts from our correspondence to provide context. It will be deeply shaming for you. Please acknowledge your acceptance of this.

He did.

Yes Ma'am, I fully understand that I will be shamed and embarassed beyond belief!

I acknowledge and accept!

Thank you Ma'am
tim

I was now curious about his spanking. I could tell that it was not self-administered from the evenness of the damage. I asked Tim to give me the full lowdown on that. This is how he responded.

Hi Julie,

This is pretty much what I can remember.

Have a lady friend; I have known her more than 20 years, we are not romantically involved just good friends. A few years back we were trash talking each other and after something I said she replied to the effect “I should spank you for that” and then she did, nothing to serious and not on the bare. Since then we developed a one way spanking relationship. Whenever I feel the need for a spanking I give her a call and she is usually happy to accommodate me. I contacted her on Saturday shortly after I sent my apology email and told her about what had transpired. She agreed to do it but said she was busy and wouldn’t be available until the following weekend. Sunday afternoon she called to say her plans had fallen through and that she could do the spanking that evening. I was to be at her home around 6:00pm. When I arrived we went to the kitchen where she poured us some coffee. She wanted to know more details about the situation, so I showed her our email conversations. When she was done reading she quite literally said “What kind of fucking asshole does that? No wonder you’re asking for a spanking”. She told me that she would give me the spanking under the condition that she is not to be involved in any way, with any of this afterwards, and would certainly not be in any photos.

At this point she told me to strip, and while I was doing that she spread a heavy blanket over her island work station, while she continued to chastise me. For the life of me I cannot remember very much of what else she said, I was only thinking of how disappointed in me she must have been and how small I felt, but D- bag and asshole were mentioned a few times. She then told me to bend over and grab a hold of the far edge of the island. When I was in position she stood beside me and started in with a hand spanking, noticeably harder than usually. She is not much for using implements and when she does it’s usually something nearby. I don’t know for certain how long the hand spanking lasted but I would guess around 10 minutes or so! She started complaining that this wasn’t working and left my side momentarily. A few seconds later I could hear a whoosh noise from behind me and a very excited “Yes”.

I have been stung by wasps on several occasions and the first swat by this implement was like getting stung by 100 at one time. It made me jump! Each swat seemed to sting more than the one before. She would do several swats in row then stop for a few minutes. Then it would be another volley of swats. Then she would stop again. She also moved from one side of me to the other. Sometimes the swat would land directly across the middle of my bum cheeks and other times it would land on that area where the cheeks curve down to meet your legs. I have no idea how many of those swats I got. Counting them was the last thing on my mind. I guess she was too busy swinging to count them either. The punishment stopped after the third time she broke skin and drew blood.  The only thing I thought of during the spanking, aside from the pain, was “you brought this on yourself”, “you asked for it”, “it’ll be over soon!” I just kept repeating that over and over. When she finally let me up she pointed a finger at me and said “I don’t want to ever hear of you doing anything like that ever again or you will get more of this!” She then showed what she had been using on my now very sore ass. It was a long thin semi rigid clear plastic tube maybe ¼ inch diameter, one end was straight and the other was hooked, essentially like a cane I guess. It stung like a mother f****r. She then gave me a quick little hug. All in all I was across the island for about 35 to 45 minutes judging from the time on the clock.

She then had me kneel in front of the island and said “let’s get this picture stuff done so you can get going”. That’s when I thought about the sign and she got me a marker and paper. She took a couple of shots with my phone.  Then I got dressed and left.

When I got home I spent the rest of the evening sitting, with a sore ass, on a hard kitchen chair writing out 100 lines of “I must not behave badly, be ill mannered, or have temper tantrums online”

tim

35-45 minutes of a good hard ass beating from a pissed off woman who understood fully what he had done to me. My surrogate! My hero! Even drew blood and kept going. Then having to sit on his hard kitchen chair afterwards writing out my lines. Be still my fluttery heart!

I am fully satisfied with Tim's apology, with his chastisement, and with his contrition. Following this blog post, I am happy to welcome him back with open arms as an equal and valuable contributor on my blog. I expect all of you to do likewise as well, and forgive him his trespasses as I have done.

That is after this blog entry. For this blog entry you may all pile on a bit, express any displeasure with him you may feel, and tease and embarrass him over his chastisement. Fair game this one post only.

And timmy, NOT A WORD from you in response on this blog post. NOT ONE WORD. You sit there, you read it, and you take it.