Reflections on the Book

I thought in today's post I'd take a step back and reflect on the contents of my new book. Many of you have had a chance to read it, and the rest of you will get to it soon, I'm sure.

Available at Amazon

On my last blog post, vic commented that it's really a love story during the first 20 short chapters. Why, yes it is. A sexy/spanky love story, but a love story with boy meets girl, a relationship, falling in love, marriage, and honeymoon. I wanted to establish the relationship between Julie and David, and make it mirror the depth of our real-life relationship. I needed that basic love and trust to permeate the rest of the book, even as it gets kinkier and kinkier!

The stuff about my backstory is pretty accurate. When I was a bartender, I did have a run-in with a guy. I voluntarily took him back to my apartment and it did not go well. I wished there was someone there to rescue me :-(

I did meet my husband at the bar, but we did not marry right away, and I in fact did go back to school, did well, including graduate work, and made a career for myself.

I was freaked out about doing anything vaguely female submissive for quite a while, which I attribute to my incident, but really got into being female dominant with my husband when he asked. I found it to be deeply cathartic. Over many years, really all of it documented here on my blog, I became more and more comfortable with female submission, and have now come to crave it.

In the book I took an alternate reality "fork" in my life. One where I get physically rescued by my husband-to-be in a spectacular and manly fashion. My husband is into MMA, and can kick butt, so that part is not a reach. So the question became, if that pivotal moment had happened, what would the rest of my life had been, given my obviously natural submissive tendencies that have emerged only lately? With the right man, would I have become a trad spanked wife? I like to think so! It actually sounds nice.

In the book David goes very slow with me, and refuses me intercourse completely until marriage. Thinking I can seduce him, I strip and demand it from him. He picks me up, puts me across his lap, and gives me a spanking instead! Oh! He turns it into a sexy spanking and even gives me my first orgasm from him from humping his knee as he spanks cheek-to-cheek.

How about that for setting the tone of the sexual relationship?!? I find that act, and that position, and the mere fact that I can actually come like that to be so embarrassing. I must look a lot like the girl in the picture up there. He determines when I come, how I come, how many times I come, and how much fanny pain I will be enduring as I come. All my most private parts are there for him to see, touch, smell, and even spank. Oh Blush!

In the book I make David a Christian. In life, David's paternal grandparents were Christian, but his Mom and Dad much less so, and he not at all. One of my grandmothers was Christian, and I interacted with her Pastor quite a bit before she passed on. My younger brother also married a Baptist girl, and they have Baptist nieces. So I had a model for that community in my head. I always liked the Christian community and the people and the philosophy of loving your neighbor, but could not believe in God and Jesus in the literal sense. In the book I make David a full-on modern Christian man, and I make myself Christian-curious, while maintaining a bit of reluctance to fully embrace the mythology. But I convert for him, and because I like it.

Why bring Christianity into it at all? Like I said, I really do like it and can get into God and Jesus as metaphor. But Christians are also a little notorious for their spanking ways, so that was convenient. It gave David a grounding in insisting that he will spank his wife.

I think the abstract ideal of the Christian Domestic Discipline is beautiful, though I am sure it is not realized in life so often in that way, reality intruding as it does. No such constraints in the book.

I also made both David and Julie enjoy spanking for play as well as practicing spanking for discipline. I do not find those things to be at all contradictory and wanted to explore that seemingly contradictory theme.

I make the discipline extra confusing, as I make it so that Julie's sexuality is only truly unleashed via spanking her. Only a warm bottom makes her a tiger in bed. David also enjoys spanking his woman before sex, with full use of slowdown and stop safewords.

Before spanking came into Julie's life, she was reluctant to give oral sex, was poor at it, and spat every time. After she gets a warm bottom, she becomes amazing at it and even swallows for her man. Amazing!

In my fantasy I make David more "built" than my actual man and with more sexual stamina and skill in the fucking department (sorry, Baby! - a girl can dream :-) In fact, part of my fantasy is that I can actually come just from a pussy fucking (I can't, boo hoo). I doubt there is any man, no matter how skillful or full of stamina, can make me come from a pure pussy fucking, but if you'd like to try you have my email above :-)

But I did not at all exaggerate my real husband's tonguing skills, which are over the top amazing. None of you can challenge him there (though see above if you want to give it a go).

Part of my mixing of sexual and disciplinary spanking involved David's fictional little sister Beatrice. He fictionally became her guardian when she was 14 and started spanking her. It involves sexual excitement for her, mixed in with the discipline, but David is utterly oblivious to it, and does it because the Church recommended it. I loved making David, that big lug, so naive that he cannot see it. I made his sister a devout Christian on the surface, and an utter horn dog beneath!

I explore with the grown-up Beatrice the whole idea of women getting turned on by being spanked for real by their men. Again, I don't find it contradictory. I also know full well the dynamic exists when the sexes are reversed, but I think we are all built with a mix of Yin and Yang, Male and Female, and we are expressing our Female parts when we get turned on by our spankings and our Male parts when we derive pleasure from doing the spanking, even if motivated by disciplinary reasons. When I spank my husband I take on a very Male aspect, even insofar as wanting to fuck that little bitch in the ass afterwards. When he receives a spanking, he is all girl. I even dress him accordingly in panties and a bra to emphasize the point, and make him guzzle his own cum, which I deposit directly into his mouth, like the little whore he is.

The trip to Moorea in Tahiti wasn't on our actual honeymoon, what newlyweds can afford that? But we did go later in life, so everything I described there is pretty accurate.

During our honeymoon, David requires me to submit to anal intercourse from him for the first time. I have them go on an embarrassing shopping trip to the the sex store (been there done that!). We buy graduated butt plugs to loosen me up. In fact, in terms of graduated butt plugs, I was actually describing what I do to loosen David up for my dildo. I can take it without the prep.

When we got back from honeymoon, I went into a "Converting to Christianity" arc. I made my chief sin the Sin of Pride, influenced by C.S.Lewis's thought on the subject.

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After I dropped out of University on my first attempt, I felt like I had a chip on my shoulder and that people were talking down to me. Now I realize that's just how I perceived it (people talk to me the same way now, graduate degree notwithstanding. Ha ha!).

My sin manifested as being rude and foul-mouthed to the matronly Sunday School teacher in front of a roomful of children when I thought they intended for me to attend Sunday School with the kids (I did not give her a chance to explain it was to be as her teacher's aide). So, the natural punishment for me was to actually have to attend Sunday School, dressed young and subject to their rules. This gave me a chance to explore some age regression themes, which really turn me on. And also to throw in some diapering for you guys out there, you know who you are!

I like to pretend I'm Daddy's little girl with my husband. I can't speak for all women, but it's definitely why I keep my pussy completely hairless.

Sometimes I do baby talk with Daddy, and Daddy has to spank me. I know it's likely controversial, but I think men like treating us as little girls they can fuck. I certainly enjoy it from the receiving end, and don't at all mind playing "Mommy" for my little boy when the occasion arises. (If you're a man and you're really into actual little girls, please go cut your dick off now.)

At a certain point I feel the need to tell my parents about my lifestyle choice. I pretty much followed the same arc that I did in real-life on that front, so had plenty of real-life material to draw upon.

Where I diverged was something that David in real-life talked me out of. I wanted to "accidentally" break some dishes at Sunday dinner and be spanked for it in front of them. In real-life I never did that, but in my book I took that fork. Pride of course being what drove me, I wound up breaking one of Mom's antique china plates that cannot be replaced. I was taken upstairs to be spanked, and then Mom walked in and demanded extras to cure her of some resentment she had over me never listening to her advice when I was a young woman (very true!).

My younger sister Nancy is in the book as well, and her journey took a fork for the better when at 18 my parents decided that spanking for older girls was a thing, and started spanking some of the unpleasantness out of her. They also put her on a diet. Ha ha! Nancy wound up super pleasant and very good looking as a result. Having Nancy spanked meant that at the cottage the two of us could get spanked together which enlarged the kinky space considerably and was a very natural way of getting my parents to accept my own spankings in the house, seeing as they were spanking Nancy all over the place. So that was a fun excursion into "could have, should have, been".

We got one big spanking together for jointly wrecking Dad's motorboat. (You guys out there with boats can relate!). We got another spanking when Nancy came home super late from curfew and she asked me to cover for her, which I did. We both had to lie to Mom and Dad's faces, but we were found out and they were very mad at us. Daddy gave us both the paddle, and then Mommy had us cut switches (while the elderly neighbors watched) and then we got birched, with many of the strokes falling on some very private places!

Throughout the book there is a theme regarding my small bladder and my poor bladder control. It's all true. Ha ha!

I've been known to pee a little when exercising or even laughing, and always make David stop when we're on the road, which drives him NUTS. I've heard about people peeing their pants when really nervous, which is also a kid thing, so made Julie do that a couple of times before spankings. I must admit that for "research" purposes I got into the shower stall wearing only a pair of white cotton panties, and peed them completely. I observed where and how the pee dribbled, and what the fronts of my panties looked like afterwards. Talk about camel-toe! I needed that research in order to describe it accurately in the book.

This, of course, necessitates embarrassing legs-in-the-air cleanups and diaperings for big girls.

Whether or not you're into the diaper fetish, is there anything more embarrassing than being diapered like that in front of others?

For lying to David one too many times about peeing before leaving, and then for disobeying him when he required me to wear a diaper for the drive home, he decided my punishment would be to be diapered in front of the whole family. He sentenced me to wearing the diaper in the car for the cottage trips until I could go a certain number of times without wetting them. The worst part was the diaper checks, where upon arriving at the cottage David would put me face up on the dining room table, hold my legs up as he removed my diaper, and then pass the diaper around for my sisters and Mom and Dad to gleefully do the "pee check" as I was held there squirming in embarrassment.

Of course, leave it to Sue to point out how my diaper was wet, but not from pee. Everybody had a good hard look at my glistening pussy and enlarged clit, and Daddy suggested that my husband take me to our bedroom to "take care of that." I had to rejoin everybody in the living room afterwards where I was teased about how loud I was in the sack. Mom hoped I was not too sore, as she wanted more of that sort of thing tomorrow so as to make her some grandchildren. Mom! "Here here!" said Dad. Dad!

I enjoyed writing the book and exploring these themes. I hope you have fun reading it. Please go get a copy and write me a nice review on amazon, please! As you are filling out the review you can choose to remain anonymous if you choose, so nobody will know.

Here's the link again:

Julies Spankings at your local Amazon

Thank you!

I've been saving up some real-life blog posts so will get on that soonest!