Vanilla Wives who Spank

I find it especially exciting when I hear about a vanilla wife or girlfriend who spanks her fetishist guy. I was such a wife myself at one point, and I wrote a popular column, Advice for Wives (with 75,000 views), suggesting others do just that. I was most gratified when I got an email from a blog fan of many years who began a relationship with a vanilla girlfriend who has decided to spank her man partly based on that article, and on one of my most popular posts, Beating your man properly (152,000 views).

He was kind enough to catch up with me and provide several exciting photos and gifs of his girlfriend and him in action. I did a bit of an interview over email to fill in some extra details, and I thought you all might be interested as well.

First of all, here he is after one of his spankings.

Is this case of careful what you wish for? Ha ha!

He goes by the name of Leo. He was 25 when he first wrote me in 2019. He said he has had an interest in spanking ever since he can remember, discovered my blog a few years back, and has masturbated to it countless times. I always like to hear that my readers jerk off to my stuff. Makes me feel covered in cum, you know?

He began exploring his fetish in real-life via some pro dommes as well as a few men whom he got to spank him. He found the encounters with the men considerably more "punishing". Haven't I been saying that?

He recently met and then moved in with a girl. He says she is very vanilla, but he confessed his fetish and she was willing to satisfy him and has become very good at it (as we can see above!).

He provided a short video of one his spankings:

Aren't all you guys jealous of Leo? His girlfriend is such an elegant beauty! And, she does not hold back in satisfying Leo's craving. I particularly admire her slim waist, strong arm, and feminine breasts. Leo has a very cute bottom as well, don't you think?

Leo directed her to the two blog entries I mention above. She said they were useful in helping to understand and learn to satisfy Leo. She also gave credit to one of the books I referenced:

Available on Amazon

She says she doesn’t exactly enjoy spanking Leo per se, but she also doesn’t dislike it. She likes some parts of it, for example the sounds he makes and especially his screams. But mostly she’s pretty neutral about it, and compared it to doing a workout one time. While she doesn’t get turned on by spanking / punishing him, she does like that he enjoys it so much and how she can easily turn him on that way.

Clearly, in my opinion, she has a strong and dominant personality, but just is not sexually turned on by our specific, strange, spanking fetish. I think that fact makes it even more special that she has put the effort into learning his kink (which does not come naturally to her), and made the commitment to satisfying her guy.

The fact that she is vanilla and spanks, sometimes for real reasons as you will read below, makes her closer to the fantasy of a spanking wife. She certainly doesn't get any sexual gratification from it, how perverse, it's for his own good.

Leo says that in bed she’s actually pretty submissive, except sometimes she’ll slap his face while they are having sex (which he loves). She thinks his personality is 99% submissive, which she seems not to mind at all. He thinks he is more than 1% dominant, but I believe her. A woman knows.

I requested more for this blog article, and he sent me another couple of clips.

Isn't she graceful and athletic? I'll bet she's a dancer. I think this is part 2 of the OTK bath-brushing he received above, and culminated in the image of him kneeling in the corner that I lead the blog post with.

I feel I understand this woman completely. Once she got her head around what her boyfriend wanted and needed, and how to do it, and gaining the confidence that it would not injure him, then even though she thought it was crazy, she gave him what he needed. "Ok, if that's what you want, I can certainly do that..." Her enjoyment of his cries and his red ass is just the satisfaction of knowing you're doing the job properly. That was me. Why can't this be ALL women who have partners like David and Leo? It mystifies me to this day.

Here's another video of Leo receiving the Delrin cane, maybe in the same session?

You can see the beating is delivered very dispassionately, in an almost detached sort of way. I find that very exciting. I have invited some women over to spank David, and it's an attitude I recognize from the vanilla women wanting to try it out. There's a certain amused enjoyment in inflicting the pain once all the conventional social barriers are removed.

I was so curious where they had taken this, and I asked Leo more questions about their kinky relationship.

They have not done any role-play as of yet. He would like to but thinks she is not comfortable. That is perfectly fine. Many people feel self-conscious when "acting". I think sticking to the roleplay of "strict girlfriend" is best in such a case.

Leo is like me in that he sort of dreads the actual spankings themselves, but is very excited immediately before, is a good sexual partner after, and the exciting memory stays with him, so it's worth it. And obviously a light spanking won't entirely do it (as for me). It needs to be realistically hard., which is an ordeal one wishes was over while it's going on.

As he's more turned on by the idea of receiving a spanking than the spanking itself, what he enjoys greatly is hearing his girlfriend tell him how she is going to punish him while he masturbates or while she plays with his dick. Leo says that nothing makes him orgasm harder than that. He says she even managed to make him come with her feet one time, and another time hands free, while describing how hard she was going to spank him, how she was going to wash his mouth out with soap, how she’d put him in the corner on his knees, and so on. He also loves when she uses an implement on a pillow to show him how she’s going to use it on his ass.

Leo has not yet tried strap-on play, but he has purchased a strap-on and they will try pegging soon. His girlfriend says she needs to try it to see if she enjoys it. What a great attitude! I think she will enjoy it. She tried on the strap-on, and it melted poor Leo.

One of the nice things about being a spanking couple is if your submissive partner truly misbehaves there's a way to get out your frustrations via a good ass beating. Leo says this has happened spontaneously. Once when he was careless, not listening to her to slow down, and got a speeding ticket. She was genuinely pissed off at him and came up with spanking him very hard as a punishment on her own. Leo thought that was super hot and the spanking ended up very severe, which became a lifelong memory for him. It's why I submit to being a spanked wife: I live for those infrequent "real" punishments which stay with me forever.

I think, in order to cater to his needs, she spanks him for more minor real things as well, such as not cleaning the kitchen or forgetting to turn off the lights. I recognize these things as some spontaneous roleplay. I do the same with my husband, and he with me, It's clear it's not the same as a "real" punishment, but it's exciting nonetheless, like a super-realistic roleplay. So smart of Leo's girlfriend to understand this about him and use these opportunities.

Nobody who knows them in real-life knows that he's into spanking. He would love for his girlfriend to spank him in front of another woman and/or have her join in, but that's just a dream for now.

Leo's girlfriend does enjoy asserting her dominance. She drags him by the ear when she feels like it. For instance, if dinner is ready and he's still on his computer after being called, she'll walk in and drag him by his ear to the table. I think she'll make a great Mom 😉. She also fairly routinely slaps his face. Maybe if he teased her or just for fun. Leo thinks she really does enjoy doing that.

One of Leo's big kinks is a mouth-soaping kink. He has gotten his girl to wash out his mouth sometimes before a spanking. At first she was quite reluctant to do it, but now that she tried it she’s fine with doing it although she still think it’s weird as fuck to want that. Good for her to just shrug her shoulders and give him what he's asking for.

Leo says he would like to try liquid soap, but has not asked for that yet. He shared a video that turned him on to it.

http://www.femdomtb.com/videos/6896/meggerz-dirty-mouth-soaping/

With spanking so routine, it has happened that his girlfriend sometimes threatens to spank Leo. For example, they were out and he did something that annoyed her (not the first time), and she said, "if you do that again, we’re getting back home right away and then I’ll give you 50 hard strokes with the cane and then we’ll go out!" Leo says he instantly went into subby mode. She even made him repeat what would happen next time he annoys her like that. He was good as gold after that. Isn't that wonderful that a vanilla girl has so understood Leo's spanking psychology. Brava!

Leo's girl knows he fantasizes about corner time as a punishment. She usually puts him in timeout after a spanking for 15 minutes, either on his knees or standing up.  She has not yet given him a truly severe timeout where he would have to hold an uncomfortable position for long. Horny Leo would like her to, but post-orgasm Leo isn’t sure it’s a good idea.

But he does very much fantasize about being put in timeout for at least 30 minutes after a spanking. He'd have to hold a coin with his nose or kneel on rice which are the two timeouts that turn him on the most. He would want his gf to make sure that he stays in position otherwise she’d immediately punish him further. He has not yet dared to confess this fantasy to her. Perhaps she will read this article and learn about it?

To me, this is one of the easier things. No effort required. Just put him in the corner. If he wants 30 minutes, give him an hour. Allow him to beg to come out, but refuse him until the time is up. No effort at all, really, just a "mean" attitude required. After his full time is up, make him beg you on his knees not to have to do another 30 minutes. He will beg very sincerely!

Time out with a peeled and shaped ginger root up his bum (figging) is also great. If not handy, use some wet toothpaste and push it up his bum, refreshing it every 15 minutes or so. I think Leo would "like" that.

I asked about writing lines. It’s definitely a big turn on for Leo and he would love his girlfriend to make him write lines as a punishment, but is also something he has not shared with her yet. The previous tips about ginger roots and/or toothpaste apply to line writing as well. And make sure to check the lines carefully afterwards. The smallest mistakes should get extra spanking.

Leo has a lot of different fantasies, but is careful to not lay too much on his girlfriend all at once, out of consideration and gratefulness for all she is doing already (he truly is very, very, grateful).

One way Leo found to show his girl how he fantasizes about being punished is to show her videos he finds arousing. They watch while he strokes his dick. He gave me a few examples.

The first video is from famous pro spanker Alice Morningstar.

Looks to be a husband in a relationship like Leo's receiving an OTK spanking. I like the tighty-whitey warmup. It's almost more embarrassing, isn't it? In my new book, David visits his aunt and all he has are worn and threadbare tighty-whities. His Aunt does not allow him to replace them as they are still "perfectly good".

Those undies come down pretty quickly and now he is hand-spanked to a rosy red.

After this, she gets first the hairbrush and then the paddle out and begins really toasting his buns.

Once done, he's lead by his ear to the corner.

Where he is made to stand as she takes a photo of him to send to her sister.

Notice the corner time. Nose IN the corner, pressing against it. Hands clasped behind back. Bare bum on display. One hour should do it.

You can see so many elements of Leo's fantasies in that video. And I think you can tell that his girlfriend  may well have studied it and applied the lessons learned to Leo's backside. Girls, don't be shy to exactly repeat what your spanker guy has shown you on video. It will never be exactly the same, which is fine, and he will appreciate the effort. David did this with me when I first started.

Here is a link to the video put up by Alice herself on spankingtube: A Quick Lesson.

The other videos Leo masturbated to with his gf present are some realspankings.com videos that are M/F.

One is a mouth soaping and spanking video.

The other is  a hairbrush beating:

You and I both know, and so does his girlfriend, that when Leo is looking at this video, he wants to be the girl.

Leo is honest with his girlfriend. She knows about him having went to professionals in the past and having been spanked by men. She asked him to tell her about those sessions which he happily did. One time she was even playing with his dick while he was telling her all the details of one of his best sessions with a pro.

The best part for Leo is he thinks him telling her the details of those sessions titillated her and "triggered" her competitive side which made her want to spank him as well as he had been spanked by them in the past, which Leo says she has achieved and surpassed.

I would recommend that Leo's girl give him a treat and take him to visit a pro domme of Leo's choosing. They can each try to outdo themselves on how well they can spank Leo's ass. I've done this many tmes with David, and it's always been really fun. The Pros LOVE seeing a wife or girlfriend bring their man in. It's actually a real treat for them.

Good luck Leo, and Leo's girlfriend! Thank you for allowing me to publish this and share your experiences with others. I'm hoping other vanilla wives/girlfriends may read this account and do the same (I'll link to this from Advice for Wives).

To Leo's girlfriend: you are one in a million, sexy lady. Good for you!

To my blog readers, any words of praise or encouragement for the couple? Or any ideas you think they should try? Please comment below. Thanks!