Are Women Just Wired to be Submissive?

It happened and I'm halfway through writing up the babysitter roleplay I wrote about in my last blog Babysitter Roleplay Advice Please! Thank you for all the suggestions, they were super helpful and inspiring and my husband and I had a great session as a result. It's taking longer to write it than I thought as so many things went on. An exciting additional development was that Mistress Violet Mays had a subby reaching out to her referencing that blog entry, and so she and I both did essentially the same roleplay and compared notes! Cool! I learned about it when she left me a comment here.

Anyways, I thought I'd pound out a quick blog entry to hold you over based on some unrelated  recent events, and some of my surprising behaviour.

It started with a comment from one of my readers named Tim (there is more than one tim, but this one I have to capitalize from now on, and he goes by a different handle when he posts - Tim may fill you in if he wishes to in the comments).

Anyways, I have known Tim as being a switch, but with more of an inclination towards topping. We had an email exchange after a comment he posted where he said I was a being a bit short and dismissive with him in my reply. I wrote back giving him what I thought of was a bit of a mild "spanking":

Hi tim,

In my opinion, one has to be careful what one reads into short messages. In the void made by the absence of long, carefully thought out responses, the sentiments read into it can be more a reflection of the reader's thoughts and emotions rather than those of the writer. (We are all guilty of this from time to time). This is surely the case here, because none of the thoughts and emotions you assign to me are in fact anywhere close to what I actually think or feel. Without the nuance of in-person communication, short messages can be easily misinterpreted. I know that you know this, as your email messages are always long and well thought out, and you take pains to convey your true thoughts and emotions accurately. Not so in your blog comments, those can be easily misinterpreted. In answering blog comments, I have to knock each one out quickly, as you can imagine. When a range of possible interpretations present themselves (including some being gentle teasing from a mostly Dominant Woman to submissive men), withold judgement and imagine the nicer end until proven otherwise. Saves grief!

Sincerely,
Julie

There we go. I wrote that feeling a bit smug. I was definitely in the right on this one. I enjoyed giving him his little "lecture". Putting him gently but firmly in his place, making him a better person as a result. With great power comes great responsibility. (I say this tongue in cheek, reflecting back now and feeling a bit foolish...)

He was also upset that I had asked his permission to publish a story he had written for me a while back, yet I had still not gotten around to doing so (months and months later). He withdrew his permission in a pique. But then after the above email he wrote back, restoring permission to his story as a peace offering I supposed.

Hi Julie,

Thanks, I will most certainly remember this when making and reading future comments and replies. I usually put more thought into my primary comments, but I too am guilty of off the cuff comments that could easily be misinterpreted. I shall endeavour to curb my interpretations and grow a thicker skin (lol).

The other thing is my story (I’m probably driving you nuts at this point). If you are still interested and if would still like to share it with your readers I am okay with that regardless of the time frame. It is totally up to you whether you post it today, tomorrow or ten years from now it will not matter to me. The only time I would ever mention it in the future is if and when I ever finish the two sequels.

I know you are busy and that this blog is not your life only a hobby/pastime and that your real life is your husband, friends, family and work. So thank you for taking the time from that to correspond with me. It is greatly appreciated.

Cheers

Tim

Was that not a nice, gentle, gentlemanly reply? Especially so after I realize now how positively and cringe-inducingly condescending my original note was. I have the best readers! I wrote back saying as much,

tim,

What a delightful reply. You took your gentle spanking from me very well. Such a good boy!

The thing is, publishing the story has now turned into a sort of tease and denial thing, your tortured reactions are turning me on a little. One of the perils of corresponding with a Domme...

Julie

Mischievous, aren't I? Pulling my puppy's tail like that. But apparently, puppy liked playing with the Tiger Lady!

julie,

Ha, ha, ha! Is that what that was supposed be?? Here I thought we were just having a nice friendly conversation with each other about misinterpretations. Oh well, if that’s what floats your boat…sure, let’s go with that!

So glad to hear I’ve turned you on! Here’s the thing about tease and denial, and as a domme you should know this, it’s only tease and denial if the person being teased and denied really wants what’s being denied! Not so much in this case it’s more a case of publish it if you want to, don’t publish it if you don’t want to, I don’t care, hence the never bringing it up again in the future. So…sorry no tease and denial here I’m afraid!

Oh wait, my mistake, there is a tease and denial here, you can publish the story, you can’t publish the story, you can publish the story, you….hmmm, this is turning me on!! 😉

Cheers,

Tim

Notice the respective capitalization of our names. And the condescending way he referred to me as a "domme". So little timmy wanted to play power games with me, did he? He didn't know what he was getting himself in for!

Power games is it? Would love to have you tied face down naked on a spanking bench to continue that discussion... ;-)

Julie

There! That will show him! I was expecting a submissive little response saying how much he would just DIE were that to happen to him, his every Strict Julie fantasy fulfilled. This is what I got instead...

Likewise, this "Daddy" would love to have you naked across my knee with your panties dangling around your ankles for the very same discussion!!😉

Tim

So, that was unexpected. Notice how he picked up on my "Daddy" fantasies which started a disturbing little flutter in my nether regions. The idea of being draped naked across his knee, my panties dangling around my ankles, my legs flutter-kicking as he spanked me rosy. Fine, point for him. But the game was not over yet. I shook my head and suppressed any submissive feelings and summoned up my fiercest Dommy Warrior. My reply would melt him into a submissive puddle. It needed to be witty, scathing, devastatingly sexy, make him yearn to even lick my boots. I was contemplating my reply when unexpectedly Tim went in for the kill shot!

julie,

After our last email exchange I decided this would be an apropos cartoon for you!😉

TIM

Notice the EXTREME capitalization of his name, and his continued lower-casing of mine. This is the cartoon he included for me (the filename was even "julie.jpg").

Well, just gosh... I'll come back to my feelings looking at that, but summing it all up, this was my immediate reaction to Tim: utter defeat.

Ok, well... that made my pussy tingle. You win!
May I publish it and a bit of our banter as background, Sir?

Sir was, of course, extremely gracious with me in his response.

julie,

Your capitulation is graciously accepted! ;-)
Yes, of course you may use it and our email banter if you wish.

Cheers ;-)

TIM

I know when I'm beat. I know when I look at a drawing of my very well spanked bottom and my pussy starts gushing a little between my legs, and I get that tummy churning butterfly feeling in the pit of my stomach, that he had subdued me, dominated me, made me his little submissive. As I read down the captioning and found out that I was in for another spanking just for being (admittedly deliberately) disrespectful with my manner of address, and that he WAS NOT going to let that slide, I gushed even a little more.

After I received Tim's reply, I will even shamefacedly admit that I propped up his cartoon of me on my pillow on my iPad, and masturbated to the thought of me getting that spanking (especially that second spanking) from him. I inserted a dildo in my pussy and used my fingers on my clit, imagining that Tim was doing more than just spanking me! Imagining my sore red ass pushed into the bed as Tim made me His woman.

Please don't get me wrong. I love being Dommy. I love my Dommy roles very, very much, and for the most part I enjoy interacting with others on email in my Dommy role. It is the rare gentleman who even attempts to top me, and rarer still those who succeed. So don't get any ideas, 'fellas. You better be up to the task if you expect to Dom me.

In this case, I think it was the creativity of sending me the cartoon, and the careful captioning. His topping instincts. His unwillingness to disengage. The captivating (not rude) and consistently gentlemanly way he continued. The time taken. And then his politeness and graciousness after I "capitulated". It just sort of melted me into a puddle of submissive goo. Geeze I'm easy!

Is this a woman/man sort of thing? His unrelenting drive to "win" and "dominate" (so gently, or he would not have "won"). My being sexually susceptible to his suggestions: a weak woman melting like butter to His Dominance.

I'm going to go have a cold shower now and get back to topping!