Waning Sex Drive?

I responded to a comment from Anthony on a recent post (Anticipating my Spanking) which got me thinking about this issue of waning sex drive.

Anthony:

Would you consider yourself hypersexual?

By definition it is “An obsession with sexual thoughts, urges, or behaviors that may cause distress or that negatively affects health, job, or relationships.”

I’m just curious because you are clearly excitable and seem to have a needy pussy. Wondering how much it impacts your life as a whole.

Julie:

Definitely become obsessed for sometimes days in a row, but I never let it negatively impact anything. I feel it's a net positive in my life.

I do sometimes get distracted during work-at-home, but I'm successful at work (feel good about my output and not letting anybody down, and doing ok in my career). But I'm not actually that ambitious that way. My husband's career sort of sky-rocketed so I actually don't care that much about my own (he now makes so much more than me that I doubt we'd even notice if I quit completely).

I would say the only tension it brings is that I want it ("it" being spanking, domination, rough sex from him) more often than my husband is willingly able to give it to me at this point in our lives, and I do feel that playing outside of our relationship would be a negative, so I do get a bit frustrated and channel that into daydreaming, spanking porn and masturbation, and my blogs and book.

Anthony:

I appreciate your honesty. That’s so wonderful that your husband is performing so well at work. I have an uncle who also sky rocketed and it’s such a blessing to you and everyone in your lives.

It’s funny how our brains long for what we can’t have. Now that he fits your ideal of a man, possibly more then ever before, and at the same time that means he’s busier and less able to give all his attention as often as before. All that together makes you even hornier! As frustrating as that can be it’s kind of in a kink person's nature to get frustrated no matter how much we get it (our kinks met). A part of us needs that frustration. It’s like a worthy punishment for our misbehaved minds. Thats such a fortunate problem to have!

If I’m assuming too much or way off on my observation please correct me. As a side note I personally appreciate your discernment in regards to “outside of our relationship”. That can be very dangerous even when it’s worked out in the past. You two are special people and we as followers are lucky to have your story to relate to and learn from.

Great comment exchange. Thank you Anthony, especially for the kind words.

Yes, it's unfortunate but my husband is now back to travelling on business a lot, always jetting off to one exotic place or another, leaving me at home to my own devices. And when he's here he works long hours and is frequently tired. Plus, as he's been getting older (he's older than me), his sex drive has been waning naturally as well. It's one reason I don't post as often as I used to. Less going on, and he has less interest in his own kinks than ever before. It's about all he can do to satisfy mine as occasionally as he does.

As well, I find my own vanilla sex drive declining precipitously. It feels like the only thing that really keeps me going is my kinks. In that sense, my kink is an amazing gift that keeps giving. Really endless hours of the highest grade of amusement.

Like, I don't get at all excited by thoughts of "making love". I used to, when I was younger. I'd be as hungry for a lick and a fuck as the next girl, independent of kink. More the licking than the fucking, but you 'gotta put out, right? Now? Now it doesn't turn my crank. Ho hum.

But when tied to my kink, I come alive sexually. For instance, the spanking and domination I just described kept me in horny anticipation for days, was amazing when it happened (other than the actual spanking itself, which hurt like hell, and the anal plugging and plunging, likewise), and has kept me horny for days after.

And now the only reliable way to have me come alive in the bedroom is to spank the shit out of me first. A little good girl spanking won't even do it. I need to be spanked literally frantic to transform me into the ultimate bedroom whore, willing to do anything for pussy relief, and wildly excited to do anything sexual my man demands of me. I especially love it after a severe beating if I'm threatened with even more, maybe a hellacious belting, if I'm not the best slut I can be. Oh, then I am eager to please! Daddy's good girl in the bedroom.

Between times when my husband and I play out these episodes, I must amuse myself. And hence I turn to spanking writing and spanking porn. If a normal person found out how much time and energy I devote to this stuff, and how excited I get, they would consider me off, abnormal, "hypersexual". I know men who become obsessed like me, and get very guilty about it, and attempt to quit, or beat themselves up over it. I've never looked at it that way. I have always considered this obsession I have been given to be a great gift that immeasurably enriches my life.

Recently I've been spending a fair amount of time on a site called Over The Desk Punishment Memories. The curators post true life recollections of real spankings from contributors (there is a sister site for fiction of the same ilk). There are lots and lots of memories of girls punished by their Mommies and Daddies, and at school, by babysitters, and so on. Also boys. My favourites are the ones where the girl is a misbehaving teenager and is spanked bare bottom in front of witnesses. That's very central to my fantasy life. Also ones where the girl is spanked bare bottom in private by her Daddy. Love those.

Another of my favourite little pastimes is browsing bdsmlr.com for sexy images and gifs that turn my crank. I reblog most of them to https://strictjuliespanked.bdsmlr.com/. Sign up there and follow me to get an insight into my sex-addled brain based on what I repost and my little thoughts that I mostly append. For some of the better ones, I save them to my iPad with the intent of doing a blog post. The act of collecting them, curating them, selecting them, adding commentary to them, and posting them, also turns my crank. I play with my pussy a lot during the process, and orgasm multiple times using the various images as springboards to rich fantasies I build around them. As David is again away, and as work is none too demanding, it gives me plenty of time and opportunity to be naughty in my bed doing this alternate "work". Let's do some now, and celebrate our kinky obsessions!

---

1.

I do get turned on by girls. A much younger, very strict one, going over my browser history. Oh my! So blushy! I think it will be the strap for me afterwards.

But I bet a lot of you switchie/subie guys see this and think the same thing. A young niece perhaps. How you will blush as she recreates your browsing history. I'm sure punishment will follow!

---

2.

I think I may have posted some of these in the past, including this one. Some images are just on endless loop on the interwebs. Never mind, it's like fishing: sometimes you catch the same fish as before.

And yes, I sometimes work myself up like this. Generally I am imagining a man's belt whipping across my backside as I writhe in pain... "No! Please! No more! No more, Sir! Please!"

---

3.

The results of a strapping across the fronts of her thighs. What must she have done to have earned that punishment???

---

4.

Been there! I hope for her sake that was the last one!

---

5.

Love the kicking and the very red bum. Love the strong arm and the big hand delivering her spanking. I dream about this.

---

6.

There are certainly more pleasant ways to get yourself off! But when a pussy is horny, anything will do.

---

7.

Have always loved the legs dangling positions. The knee socks make it. This is the "correct" relationship between the masculine and the feminine.

---

8.

Another of the same ilk, nude and in the kitchen (like me). I imagine she was spanked for failing to prepare proper meals on time as well.

---

9.

Daddy looking all over for his misbehaving daughter, finding her necking with a farm hand. He'll make an example of her now.

---

10.

A little vignette. Newlyweds. A clash of cultures. In his culture, the women do the kitchen work! Oh yeah? You 'gonna make me? Love her struggles. Pointless ones. She's getting this spanking whether she agrees or not. Love her submission at the end. She never truly understood before why all the women in his culture did all the kitchen work. Now she does! She knew what she was getting, she just needed to see if he was man enough to do it.

---

11.

A humiliating position for a belting. Especially with all of us as witnesses. Love how she looks at us in pain and embarrassment. She is learning her lesson.

---

12.

This one is high on a kitchen stool, the same exact way I got it! Boobs dangling on one side of his lap, bare ass hanging off the other. Frantic from her spanking. Despite the pain, it's how I want it: spanked frantic.

---

13.

I don't know. Don't ask me, because I don't know! Maybe she's about to get a spanking with that hairbrush, and that is how she must wait for it?

---

14.

This is EXACTLY what should happen when hubby comes home and finds the kitchen a mess. No, you may not pull up your pants until this kitchen is spotless, young lady!

---

15.

A full pantsing and shirtsing for the camera. What a naughty girl! Did she lose a bet? Was it truth or dare? She strummed her little clitty that night thinking back on it.

---

16.

Ha ha! If you want to act like a sourpuss around the house, there you go. Only a Mom would think to do that to her teenage brat!

---

17.

Another excellent punishment for backtalk from Mom. If you can't say a pleasant word, you won't get to say anything at all.

---

18.

A nasty paddling for his daughter while her sleepover friend stands there and watches. It was the third time Daddy had to come in to tell them to quiet down and get to sleep. This time he brought the paddle. There won't be a fourth.

---

19.

I've mentioned that the thought of much older men with younger women turns me on. My old boss was maybe this guy's age when he took me to a hotel room to spank me. Oh gush!

---

20.

Whats going on here? Was she a little snooty to her man's friends on poker night? I think so. Now she's paying the price.

---

21.

One heck of a spanking. Gulp. The shudders, sobs, and tears are all too real. We women who sign up for this lifestyle understand that this can be us at the drop of a hat.

---

22.

A truly intense spanking meant to teach a lesson that won't soon be forgotten.

---

23.

A little time in the great outdoors, in the nude and nursing a very well-spanked bum, will bring this girl down a peg or two. Especially seeing as how the lawn maintenance crew were grinning from ear to ear as they went about their grass cutting, leaf blowing, and shrub trimming. They spent considerably more time than usual this week, looking over, pointing, chattering to one another in Spanish.

---

24.

A spanking followed by a figging for this naughty wife. How her bum hole burns! He'll be sure to wear a condom for the bum sex to follow so that his cock will not feel the burn. Mind you, all that fucking up and down her anal passage will make her burn all that much more.

---

25.

She tried playing office politics against the master and lost. She thought her back-stabbing would get the CEO kicked out and her installed in his place. Look where it's gotten her instead.

---

26.

Look at the blush on her face. Mom did not approve of the skimpy bikini she was wearing. She said in that swimsuit she may as well be wearing nothing! "I'd rather wear nothing," she said, "then wear a frumpy swimsuit like yours!" She got her wish.

---

27.

The fucking post. This little lady has been putting off marriage for too long. Nobody good enough for her. Well it's her 20th birthday and grandchildren are needed around the farm. She'll be spending the full day chained to that post with her feet bound down as well. All the farm hands are encouraged to sperm her as many times as they can the whole long day.

---

28.

This young lady has clearly not had a spanking in far too long. Her first semester away at University was a disaster. Too much partying, not enough studying. She'll have to repeat the term. Mom and Dad were both of a mind what she desperately needed, regardless her age.

---

29.

I am forced to agree with the sentiment.

---

30.

Raise your hand if you are a slut for two fingers up your ass in the spanking position

🙌🏻 🙌🏻 🙌🏻 ✋🏻👋🏻👋🏻

---

31.

This is what school corporal punishment should be like. Straighten out those kids but good!

---

32.

Newlyweds on honeymoon.

Her: Please, no, sweetheart, people will seeeee!

Him: You should have thought of that before acting up, darling.

Old bystander guy: Give it to her good, Son. You need to start off as you mean to go on.

---

33.

She's about to get a good girl spanking! 💦💦💦😥😥😥

---

34.

You were the one who wanted this arrangement, sweetheart, now sign that Domestic Discipline contract while I fuck you to really make it official.

---

35.

Yes, we know. Spankings are meant to hurt, darling. Don't misbehave and we won't have to do this.

---

36.

I think most so-called "feminists" nowadays secretly crave to be put in their place like this.

---

37.

This is what I get when Miss Puss Puss acts up.

---

38.

A spanking over the corner of the bed really opens up the insides of the cheeks for that 'all over' spanking. Too bad about the embarrassing exposure. And too bad about how your pussy grinds down onto the bed as you humiliatingly leak your sex juices during your ordeal. The harder he spanks, the more you grind, the more you leak. You'll be well-prepared for your wifely duties afterwards.

---

39.

Sometimes only Mommy's hand will really do, even when you're all grown up.

---

40.

When the girl has really embarrassed the family, the spanking from Mom in front of them is equally as embarrassing for her. In this case, she was caught shoplifting. The policeman and storeowner were both invited over to watch her be disciplined in front of her family. The storeowner was more than satisfied that Justice had been served and dropped all charges.

---

41.

She "forgot" to wear her panties to the football game after-party. Somebody snitched on her and Daddy came to get her, hopping mad. She was spanked then and there, in the most humiliating way possible. Even the nerds had a good look! Videos were posted. Her pussy lips were sore for days afterwards. Everyone at school called her "Lips" from then on.

---

42.

And Kathy suddenly realized that being a "trophy wife" with an ironclad pre-nup was not all it was cracked up to be.

---

43.

It was a harsh spanking but all in all she took it well. Rather than an hour in the corner she gets a little treat instead. Stick that bottom up and keep it there.

---

44.

She's a submissive. Her Master decided to put her to the test. All his friends would be penetrating her that evening.

---

45.

Yes, I'm just as turned on imagining a woman doing this to me as a man. For burning the dinner she gets her rump roasted.

---

46.

My older man fantasies triggered again. Staying at Grandad's, all alone. A bedtime spanking. Pussy bouncing on grandad's knee. Not a stitch of clothing permitted. This little lady will orgasm several times while still across his knee. Grandad will be pleased he's still "got it". Tomorrow night she will offer to suck him off after her bedtime spanking and he will allow it. The next night she'll get the belt and will willingly spread her legs for him to take her.

---

47.

He's a single Dad who cares a lot for his little girl. He cares enough to spank her thoroughly when she misbehaves. The spankings are always the same. In the living room, in her birthday suit, hoisted over his knee, the wooden salad spoon teaching her a lesson she won't soon forget.

---

48.

A loving Christian man spanking his errant young wife. He's had it up to here with her reading those trashy romance novels. It ends here and now!

---

49.

VR masturbation in her boyfriend's room at the frat house. She doesn't realize she's being videoed while "doing the deed". When she gets back to her sorority later that evening, it will be on a loop on the communal big screen. All the girls laugh at her and tease her. Why did she ever trust Brad? She will never live this down!

---

50.

What a great gift!

---

51.

Oh how the paddle burns! He's getting right to the seat of the problem.

---

52.

She's so embarrassed when her husband chooses to show her off to his friends. How she dresses in little girl panties, and keeps herself smooth like a little girl.

---

53.

A lesson in manners seems long overdue. You can push a man only so far...

---

54.

Once a month he's released and may fuck the rubber pussy while she crops his ass. He only has five minutes though, or too bad, so sad, there's always next month.

---

55.

Its really very cruel to give a "man" an erection while locked in his cock cage. His poor balls will be so sore that night!

---

56.

She is NOT a happy camper. And that spanking looks far from over, she's right to look so worried.

---

57.

Made a complete example of. The tourists are enjoying her, at least.

---

58.

Had to throw this one in. Are you feeling the bern? Ha ha!

There we go. Some good masturbation fodder for me and you. Which ones do you like the best, and why? Let me know in the comments!