Porn Addiction and Guilt

On the subject of things I probably have no business writing about, I thought I'd tackle porn addiction and feelings of guilt while using porn, and feelings of guilt about our own sexuality.

I know there is a big "no fap" movement out there. A lot of people feel they have been overdoing it on the porn. I wonder if it's a symptom, or a disease, or nothing at all?

Certainly porn has at no time in the history of humanity been so ridiculously and readily available. And there are kids growing up being exposed to all manor of porn from a very young age, and this is a brand new thing and we don't know the developmental effects. We imagine it can't be good. I am not one of these gradualists who think that Grandad railed against that new fangled Television and what it was doing to kids' brains, and this is just the latest iteration of it. I really don't think so. What we're seeing with social media and porn is in a whole different league.

Ironic that I'm writing this, as I am absolutely a creator and purveyor of porn. Do I feel any guilt at all about that in light of what's going on? I do not.

It's a challenging time to be growing up. There are very few stable things to hold onto. Not the family unit in many cases, not the Church, not the government, not the schools, not the media. Trust nobody. Uncle Frank is a racist. School is useless. Authority figures are a joke.

We have social media and the interweb instead.

Kids are not naive. They know that most of what they read there is fake. They surf it like the waves on the ocean. Yes they have short attention spans, but they are amazing multi-taskers. They can pull on a thread from a Tweet, surf three different sites in less than a minute, and get to their own sense of what may or may not be true so quickly. They may not find "the truth", but they sure have good bullshit detectors. Porn is just part of that landscape they surf.

Will porn ruin them for "real relationships"? I don't think so. A real human partner is like super 3D ultra-high-def super-sensormatic porn. What's not to like about that? They do not expect real partners to act like porn actors. They know the stuff they see on porn is made up shit. As I said, they have real good bullshit detectors.

Porn allows them to discover their true sexuality early on. Are they cis or gay or bi? They'll find out fast with porn. What are their fantasies? Are they into BDSM? And if so, what flavour? They'll find out fast with porn.

I have a number of young men who contact me. If they are underage, I remind them about that super-secure warning banner on their way into my site, and suggest they might enjoy http://disney.com instead. Sometimes I become their Mom a bit (not the kinky kind) and give them some life advice when they ask.

A lot of both young and older men have trouble bridging from their fantasy life into real-life.

Some feel really messed up that they have the fantasies that they do, and that they can't keep away from material like mine.  I've seen fans swear it off completely, only to come crawling back a few months or even a few years later, tails between their legs.

Guys. It's OK. It's ok to fantasize about shit. Even very, very dark shit. Keep it real and gentle and consensual and rough when she wants it in the real world, and all is cool. Have you fantasized about raping a girl? As a victim of rape, I can tell you nothing about it in the real world is at all cool. It messed me up for years. I'm still a bit messed up because of it. But I still fantasize about it. I fantasize about being taken by force, belt whipped, tied up, and raped in every hole. I fantasize about getting wet and my abuser laughing at my turn on. It's my demons being exercised and exorcised. I fantasize about raping asshole guys. Macho guys who absolutely don't want it. I don't even care if they get excited. The limper their cocks the better as far as I'm concerned. Stripped under gunpoint. Tied down to a horse. Whipped until they are howling with pain. Raped with my biggest strap-on dildo in their boy holes. If they don't please me by moaning like a horny little bitch while they take it, well that's what the big cutters are for...

Oh dear. Did I say that aloud?

It's fantasy. It's cool. Don't act it out unless with a consenting partner, and then be safe. (and ps, you can have them at the ready, but don't ever use those big cutters :-)

A lot of guys are super distressed about wanting to be submissive to a woman. Or not being transgender but wanting to be "made to" dress like a woman, or take it like a woman. Guys, it's all cool. You are the interesting people. I'm reminded of the scene in Annie Hall.

Woody: You look like a very happy couple. Are you?
Her: Yeah.
Woody: So how do you account for it?
Her: Ahhh, I'm very shallow and empty, and have no ideas and nothing interesting to say.
Him: And I'm exactly the same way.

But some of these guys, they really want a partner like me. I counsel them not to worry about it so much. Don't obsess on finding a girl who exactly matches their kink. Find a nice girl. Find a girl they feel comfortable with, who is fun, who they can explore with. Had they hooked up with me when I was young, I would not have been into BDSM at all, and look what a prodigy I turned into! Luck of the draw.

A lot of men wind up with pretty vanilla wives. Hey, BDSM is not for everybody. The most common thing is that they try a bit with their partners, but they sense their partners are not into it, and they back off as a result. I think the woman in the relationship should be more understanding and put out more than that, but hey, whatever. A life partnership is about a lot more than just kink.

And that's where I come in. I was lucky enough to find my kinkmate in my husband. Many don't. So I post stuff on here that allows (mainly men) to live vicariously through our relationship. Don't get me wrong. that is not the purpose of this blog. I write because I enjoy writing. I write to sort out my feelings on things. I write for the great interactions I get. I write because I'm a little attention whore. I admit it all! But... there is this beneficial side effect, so that's cool.

I have posted some education stuff along the way, such as Advice for Wives and Beating your man properly, some of my most-visited pages. But the most important thing is providing an outlet for men of all ages to jerk off to my material.

And honestly, that is my biggest kick imagining the men out there rubbing their hard cocks and spurting in front of their computers or tablets, making a sticky, gooey, white mess. Mostly they are hiding it from their wives or girlfriends. Dirty little cheaters! I feel like a dirty whore of a mistress for them. It turns me on. It's why I got into posting some pictures of myself, even though when I started off I swore I would never, ever, ever do that. I couldn't resist. I even succumbed to the temptation of posting a couple of videos. I am your little exhibitionist whore, aren't I?

But what turns me on most is painting a word picture for you. Trying to describe the emotional richness of a situation beyond what a photo could convey. Finding pics off the web that match my feelings and including those for a visual stim. I know you guys love the words, but also like to fixate on a visual stim to get off.

More than anything else, this constant need to generate new source material is what causes me to be so adventurous out there with my husband. Unthinkable to return from a vacation without some titillating story to tell you. So I wanted to give you all a big thank you from me for keeping my kinky sex life so adventurous over the years.

So please, young or old, male or female, enjoy my blog.

And guys, please, please remember my rule: if you cum while looking at my blog, you eat it, and you make damned sure you get every last drop down the hatch you little fuckers, or else...

;-)