Julie's DD Contract

As explained in my previous post, Embracing Female Domestic Discipline, I've come to the realization that I crave more externally-imposed discipline in my life: essentially where my husband spanks me for my transgressions.

To be honest, I don't 100% know why I want that, but I do. It gives me feelings of warmth and love to be disciplined in that childish way by my husband. And it's ridiculously exciting for me to be disciplined like that "for real" and to have other people know about it. It's re-awakened in me an intensity of sexual excitement I did not know I had.

I don't think there's actually a lot I need to change in my life, as I am a very disciplined person to begin with. But, you know, it's exhausting: to be always on top of everything all the time. And that includes my commitment to scene my husband as his Domme (which I will keep doing, btw, eagerly!), and my commitment to this blog (likewise!). But I also have a demanding job where I manage people, I manage a lot around the house, I help out my Mom and Dad a lot, I manage our taxes and finances, and I manage myself a lot (diet, exercise, ...). As I said, all that managing of things is exhausting.

When I was a little girl I was happy, carefree, mischievous, and sometimes got spanked for it. I did not need to hold myself accountable, I was held to account. I want, at least a little bit, a return to that for at least some portion of my life.

I've realized that what submissive tendencies I have are focused more around the above than anything else. When I am being submissive, I am thinking of a Daddy or Mommy figure being my dominant. It's a pretend version of being held to account. It pales against the real thing. My husband is very different in that regard. He has a great desire to be dominated, and some of those Mommy themes come up for him as well, but he has zero desire to turn it into anything more full-time. I don't think he fully understands why I do, but is very game nonetheless (and is a really good top to boot). He is a natural switch and loves it both ways.

As I mentioned, I am an organized girl, so to that end, with inspiration and guidance from Jennifer at the blog Domestic Discipline, Jenny style!, I've taken her example and used that as a basis to craft a Domestic Discipline Contract for my husband and I. I'm still working on it with David so any suggestions would be welcome.

It's at: Domestic Discipline Contract 1.0.

I've left comments enabled on that page, so if you have any suggestions regarding my contract, please leave them there. All input is welcome!

I'll walk you through it now.

It starts with some boilerplate, some definitions, and some details around term and renegotiation procedure. Basically aiming for April 20 to go into effect, with an initial renegotiation after 6 months and then automatically yearly renewal. So basically I am committing to give it a go for 6 months. That's what's solidly in my head.

The next big section is Duties and Obligations. It starts with my commitment to adhere to the contract and to defer to David's judgment regarding how to interpret it. It also includes David's commitment to take it seriously and to hold me accountable for everything and as soon as possible after any transgression.

The contract then goes on to a lengthy section that goes into details regarding the duties and obligations that I've agreed to hold myself to. This section was largely written by me, however David has had input and added (what I think is) one of the sillier clauses.

The first part involves respecting David as my disciplinarian. Basically I have to not resist my discipline and be all "Yes Sir / No Sir" during it. I added in myself that I may choose to address him as Sir outside the confines of the contract as well. I retained Jen's clause with modifications regarding Sexual Obedience. I said I'd be sexually obedient after I was disciplined on the day I was disciplined. With Jen that's more 24x7. I wanted it to be more right after punishment, not necessarily as punishment, but more to reinforce my submission and his dominance, as I knew I'd be feeling pretty subby after being disciplined by him!

Then there's a physical self care part about diet, exercise, and weight. I'll be setting my own goals, thank you very much, but I will be held accountable by David to set them and stick to them! There's a bit in there about me not drinking to excess. That was David's insertion. He really does not like me overdrinking, which I admit I sometimes do to my own detriment next day. It will be good to be held to account for that. In that section I'm also committing to keep myself 100% hair-free beneath my eyebrows. I guess that pussy is staying bare! It plays into my "little girl" thing. As a last clause I committed to maintain my "personal hygiene", especially in my anal/vaginal area, as that might get exposed at the drop of a hat now to goodness knows who. All the stuff in the contract about me being disciplined and exposed in front of others was all stuff I insisted be in there. David resisted, but it is does not compel him to do that, only makes it a possibility. He is dubious but knows how much I want it, so we'll have to see where that goes.

Next there's a housekeeping section that is pretty light. The most significant thing is me committing to cooking us a healthy meal a few times a week. I try, but do not always succeed now. I'll keep trying, but if I don't succeed in future, there will be consequences! See how that goes? I also committed to not make a mess, which I am pretty bad at, so that will likely get me spanked if nothing else does.

Next is a safety section where I agree not to take risks to myself or others (like what I got spanked for). David put in a "zero tolerance" for drinking and driving (I knew he would, sigh), and for non-hands-free cell phone use while driving.

I especially wanted a "Kink" section, where I'm committing to continue to scene david with the same enthousiasm I always have, and I can't use scenes to "get back at him" for discipline he gives me.

Because David raised it specifically, I added in an "Oral Sex" clause where I commit to getting better at giving it. David added a clause on never, ever, spitting out his ejaculate again (but I verified that snowballs are ok - where I push the cum into his mouth to swallow - at least when I'm not having to be sexually obedient following a punishment).

Finally there's a "Going Potty" clause. I DID NOT want this last clause in. The design and wording of this clause is 100% David's. I think it's a bit unfair, but I'm going to have to live with it. Though I admit it does play into my "little girl" vibe, which is why it's still there. Let me know what you think. Should I banish it, or give him a bone?

The next big section is DISCIPLINE. I had to think a lot about this one, and modified it considerably from Jen's version of same. Jen's DD involves a lot more and various "grown-up" punishments. I wanted mine to focus more exclusively on "little girl" discipline (but ratcheted up to have an impact on a grown woman). So, basically, OTK hand spanking on the bare bum ought to be the main form of discipline. We do explicitly list other "extensions" involving implements, alternate positions, and alternate states of undress. Anything mentioned is more ok and more in the spirit of the thing. And then there is a general waiver at the top "David may use his discretion to provide any Discipline not explicitly defined or explained in this Agreement within reason." In case he wants to mouth soap me, or diaper me or something, or clamp my tits or plug my butt or whatever. It's available, but it's not the point of the thing. I do get a safeword, of course. I'm mature enough to not use it unless it absolutely needs to be used, and have proven that on multiple occasions. It's there for safety.

I wrote all of the Types of Discipline section myself.  There is heavy emphasis on embarrassment for me. Lots of potential pussy exposure in front of others possible in the contract. As I said, David is not as keen as I on this, so I really wanted to spell it out, to let him know it's OK by me to go this far, and that in fact I obviously crave it as part of my discipline. I added Cornertime Discipline on top of Spanking Discipline. I was actually never put in the corner as a child, but the whole thing is so childish and embarrassing that I made it a "Grade A" sort of punishment, right beside Spanking.

The Discipline Timing/Location clause is straight out of Jen's contract. It basically says anywhere, anytime, in front of anybody, at his sole discretion. Same comment as above.

The Discipline Integrity clause is also lifted entirely from Jen, but in addition to the goal of me being Reflective, Remorseful, and Surrendered; I added in the element "Embarrassed", and I lifted some of the wording from an email from pen-pal Brett.

The Discipline Ceremony is then laid out for when we are alone at home. This is Jen's concept, but I modified it to be somewhat less "ceremonial" while still maintaining elements of that. This is the "being sent to your room" discipline, really.

Then there is the Immediate Discipline section, also a Jen concept, but modified by me to focus on public spanking discipline, and the embarrassment aspects. I mean if I want it so bad to write about it over and over and over again in my contract, I am hoping David will come around.

The final part of the contract is the Maintenance Session, whose precise execution is again a Jen concept. I figured if I went a few weeks without needing to be disciplined, I would need a spanking! Better that than "bratting" my way to one, which I think is a bit dishonest and counter to the spirit of things. The maintenance session is also where we can "course correct" (for me, respectfully, or else!). It's also where I list out anything that David may have missed since the last session that I may need to be disciplined for. This is both to continue being accountable, but also so David can learn the sorts of things he really should have spanked me on the spot for, but might have missed.

The end of the maintenance session is a really unique thing that Jen has in her contract and that made me totally blush, so of course it needed to stay in there! It involves a solo, witnessed, masturbation session for me. I am still self-conscious masturbating in front of my husband. I feel like he surely is able to see into my brain and see all my embarrassing naughty thoughts as I get myself off. I committed to telling him truthfully exactly the thoughts and images I got off to afterwards.

So that's about it. Please give it a read and let me know what you think. The link once again is:

Domestic Discipline Contract 1.0