Sunday, April 12

Embracing Female Domestic Discipline

My husband and I decided to make it official: I will now become, officially, a spanked wife! We have agreed to engage in a Domestic Discipline lifestyle with me as the "taken in hand".

The woman in the photo is bare breasted with her panties at her knees.
She has either just been spanked, or is about to be.
I look at that, and genuinely wish it was me being disciplined.

What got me going was my recent disciplinary spanking described in Julie Spanked for Being Irresponsible, and elaborated on in Emotions after a Real Punishment Spanking. This was done as kind of a very justified real-life extension of our kink, but it sure came naturally to the both of us! I can't stop thinking of the feelings evoked in me by a spanking motivated by discipline, not kink (although it is kinky, subtle distinction). So my husband and I have decided to formalize it into a DD Contract of some sort for me - still working on it.

Ok, my DD is going to be a little different from other ones you may have heard of. I will continue Domming my husband for fun. I will design the scenes (with his input) and may roll them out unexpectedly, and may involve others, as we have always done. None of that will change. For purposes of sexy kink, we both enjoy that a lot! We even strive to make the scenes super real, like punishing him for real things I find around the house (dirty dishes in sink for example). All of that will definitely still go on. He will also be subject to discipline spankings when he falls short of his own goals (or as a "reward" for continuing, e,g., picky food diary / weight loss spankings). Though there will be no formal "contract" for that, because if he does not think it justified, he will manhandle me right across his knee and let me know! None of that changes in the least.

But overlaid on top of all of that fun kink, I want to add a more "real life" 24x7 dynamic as well for me. I want to be a spanked wife. Not motivated by sexy fun times (we have that already), but real discipline when in his eyes I have fallen short of one of my (or our joint) expectations of myself.

It won't be him being "Head of Household" or anything like that. We will continue our 50-50 partnership in chores, decision-making, bank accounts, and so on. From each according to their abilities, to each according to their needs. A two-person communist party.

But beyond all this, what I have come to realize is that I crave a father figure doling out real discipline. I feel safe and protected, and it makes me a more passionate wife (in the vanilla sense). My need for it is not primarily a need for kinky fun. My primary need is to feel taken in hand, to feel loved via discipline. Essentially for my emotional health (I have been feeling down a bit lately, who hasn't, but my recent disciplinary spanking was a bright light). Oh yes it makes me burn with passion and lust after it happens, or thinking about it happening, but one follows from the other, not the other way around. It's complicated! It's so hard to explain that. It's been hard for me to disentangle those things and come to my current realization.

I "blame" my Dad. I love my Dad so much. In early childhood (around aged 5 to 10) I was spanked across his knee, by hand, on the bare. The spankings from him were very mild, and I was always loved and cuddled more than usual afterwards. That was a different time. It was the 1980's. There was no hint of impropriety. I understand from research that back then it was maybe considered old fashioned to spank your child and not recommended by the liberal child psychologist types. Looking back from my vantage point now, I realize those spankings didn't "hurt" so much as "make a point". Despite how mild they were, I inevitably wound up in great sobbing tears during and after my spankings. I was not spanked often at all. Maybe in total a half a dozen times over a five year period. So when I was spanked, it made an impression. I did get spanked by Mom as well, in much the same way, maybe a bit harsher but not overly so, but I remember resenting those spankings and feeling defiant inside - though I did toe the line outside!

I absolutely craved and adored the attention of my father. I am the middle girl of three, and they say the middle girl is often the forgotten one. Not me! I forced myself on my Dad. I was for sure his favourite (that's what my sisters kept telling me anyways, and I think they were right). We would have long, silly conversations and he was so patient with me. When I had childish troubles I could always confide in him and our talks always helped. I would greet him joyously, jump up on his lap, hug him and cover him in kisses!


This persisted into my late teens, where I would still jump on his lap and hug and kiss him, wearing only a T-shirt and my panties! I knew that something about what I was doing was somehow "wrong", and it gave me a funny but good feeling in my tummy. My older sister (Sue) did not approve, and my Mom looked askance as well. I stopped doing that when I was around 16, as I started dating and started recognizing that those feelings about my Dad were definitely sexual. I became very guilty about it, and very self-conscious of the approbation of my sister and Mom, so I stopped. Though I never stopped loving my Dad! It just morphed from a childish love into a grown daughter's love, which is unchanged to this day.

So when I got spanked by Daddy, it was a signal that I had been a very bad girl in his eyes. I had disappointed my Daddy. I cried worried that I had lost his love. After a spanking I would do whatever I could to get back into his good graces, which was never very hard. For weeks afterwards I would be extra affectionate with Daddy. Just checking!

My relationship with my Mom was a lot rockier as a child and as a teen. I always thought she paid more of the good kind of attention to my siblings, and I resented it. As I started growing up, she was the one who tried to regulate my behaviour, and I resented it. She always made me do chores like set the table or help her to cook. She would timeslice watching over me as I did boring homework, enforce my bedtime, and as I was older set my curfews. She wouldn't buy me the clothes I wanted, and she would be the one to send me back to my room to change because, "you're not going out looking like that!" I look back on it and laugh. She had four kids to watch over that way, was entirely justified, and Dad was entirely MIA for that sort of parenting.

Man, was I ever set up to be a spanked wife or what?

Unfortunately, anything along those lines got derailed when I was in my early twenties living on my own. I had a bad (terrifying) experience with a guy I met at a bar and brought back to my apartment. It lasted three days and I was absolutely sure I was going to die at the end of it. I never reported it to anybody, and I got fired from my job for missing work. While I'm a conservative girl and the #metoo shit drives me crazy (because really, you willingly got "casting couched" you whore, give me a fucking break), reporting my rape did not even enter my mind. I was completely humiliated, and completely emotionally broken down. I shut it away and never wanted to think about it again. Oh I know, GREAT way to deal with trauma (she says sarcastically). Instead, my "self-treatment" plan was alcohol, drugs, and sexual promiscuity. Real smart.

It affected all future relationships including with my husband. I always insisted on being in control, on being on top. If something even slightly went wrong during sex I would freak, like a guy touched me in a way I hadn't expected, or at a time I didn't expect. David was extremely tender with me and I eventually told him a bit about my past. I think this is the reason he hid his spanking fetish from me for so long. When he first approached me, he very gingerly asked me if I wanted to be spanked, and I was, in my head, NO FUCKING WAY (I said it more gently to him!). He pivoted to asking if I would mind spanking him. Sure, why not? I was usually "on top" anyways, and if he had a kink, I definitely wanted to know about it and cater to it. I love the guy! What I found was that spanking him (beating him, even, humiliating him) was absolutely empowering for me. I did it with such joy! It was like therapy. I went over the top, I admit, but his passion for being spanked, beaten, and humiliated knew no bounds, so it was a perfect match. I also think he saw the joyfulness in me, and went with it hard in part because of that: for me. Oh, I never lost my head, it was always safe, sane and consensual (well, safe and consensual, anyways, I like to say, fuck the sane part).

This blog is my diary of everything kinky that happened since that first time, so you can follow along, although looking back at some of my posts, I was not completely up-front about some of my motivations. I was not quite ready to spill all the beans, so to speak. I guess the therapy worked, though, because there came a time when I started getting the itch to be spanked myself, which for me is putting my early adult trauma behind me, and returning to my childhood innocence where my relationship with my Daddy defined my relationship with strong loving men.

It started slowly and I had to feel 100% in control. My first experience with David spanking me was after I had read a blog from a Pro Domme that said as a top you needed to experience being spanked yourself or you would not get any good at dishing it out. I was a very earnest young woman and took her advice. I made David give me a spanking under my own terms. If I was in control I did not panic at all, and I enjoyed the physical sensations. I kept telling him to go harder as it appears I have pretty high pain tolerance. I enjoyed it. We had a few other cases where I was spanked, always me initiating it and controlling the action.

There was a watershed moment at some point where I realized I like girls as well as boys. I had arranged a vanilla escort to visit us in a hotel room to witness David being dominated by me. That went off great and according to plan. After it was over we still had time, she suggested that she and I make out, and let him watch but not touch. I was pretty hot and horny from dominating David, and so I totally went along with it, and absolutely lezzed out with her for the first time in my life, and loved it!

After that, I was anxious to get with more women, and arranged a few scenes including David where that would happen. I also mixed in a few spankings for me from the women, as it felt sexy and did not make me as anxious as being spanked by a man (any man, even my David). I started getting more and more intense submissive feelings at around this time as well.

There was an e-mail correspondence with a reader where it slipped into us roleplaying him being the Daddy and me being the Naughty Daughter. I told myself (and you all) at the time that I was "researching" Daddy/Daughter kink as I was intending on a gender-age-bender scene with David where I would be the Daddy and he would be the Daughter. We did actually do that, but looking back on that post now (Daddy Spanks Daughter!), OMG I was so Daddy-Daughter subby! I didn't at all mind the e-mail roleplay as I obviously felt completely safe. It was not going to happen to me, after all. But of course I was thinking about myself, but barely admitting it. Not sure who I was fooling.

I was sliding fast! Very soon after that, my correspondent offered to construct a paddle for me and send it to me. I accepted, but I did not want to give him my real address. I have a friend (named Tracy  for blog purposes) who maintains a US address forwarding dropbox for her thrifty US online shopping. I asked her if I could use her service to have an item sent to me. She wanted to know what it was, and I had to tell her it was a spanking paddle (!).


She asked me who it was for, and I told her David, but that because I was so scatterbrained and delayed in getting the address to him, that I had promised to take 24 on my bare butt first and send my Paddle Daddy a photo. She asked who was doing the honours, and I told her David... unless she wanted to... She jumped at the chance and wanted to involve her husband (it turns out, I did not know at the time, that she and her husband are swingers), but I asked that it just be her. I was so fucking excited it was unbelievable. You can read all my fevered postings about it, and see the pics of my very well-paddled ass (Julie in for a Severe Paddling!).

This was me later in the evening after my paddling from Tracy.
Photo courtesy my then girl-cucked husband!

The infatuation grew, and Tracy came over and saw David get spanked. She came over and spanked me once. And then I went over there and took a belt whipping from her while her husband watched. He even participated a little and I found myself very turned on having a man involved in the Domming process (unexpectedly). We then arranged another scene where I would be a schoolgirl, and they would be my Mommy and my Daddy.

Me after my spanking from John and Tracy.
Tracy taking the photo. John standing right there!
He would fuck my pussy that night as well.
First (and only) fucking outside my marriage.

After that scene with John and Tracy, I realized what a ninny I was for allowing Tracy's husband John to spank me while I had never really allowed David to (and it was a real drawn out affair with John, without me "totally in control" - I mean, me not topping from the bottom as I had been with David). So I invited David to spank me for the first time "for real". I did "yellow out" during it, but that was the extent of my control. I wrote at the time (Wife Spanked by Husband),
It was nice getting a spanking from my David!!!!! I fell into my submissive state of mind and fantasized I was a bad girl getting spanked by her Daddy.
In fact, David was a much, much better spanker than John or Tracy. There was no need to tell him what to do, he was naturally dominant, sufficiently firm, and sensitive to my reactions. After that spanking he gave me anal intercourse. That's turned into a theme! We began switching from then on, maybe for a third of the time or less. I still mainly Dommed him during our scenes. We also starting playing more with Mistress Violet, with me taking on a sub role half the time.

A photo of me being spanked naked by Violet taken by David

My submissive fantasies started becoming darker and darker with time, to an unhealthy level I will admit (Am I Sick in the Head?). It culminated in me writing a long letter to my husband, expressing my darker wishes for him to dominate me (Letter to my Husband). I wasn't sure how he would react, but he was amazing. He said "we needed to talk about it" and I thought oh oh, Julie's off to the shrink. But instead he told me to strip naked for our "talk", and then he made me read aloud every sentence of the letter (do you know how blushy that is when you lay your heart out on a platter like that???). He decided I would be his total sex slave for a week. We started by him taking me to a pet store and very publicly fitting me for a dog collar and matching leash!


After he paid, he leashed me and whipped me on the seat of my jeans with the end of the lead and then pulled me out of the shop by my leash. All as the pet store staff watched! That started one full week of intense submission from me. That seemed to get it out of my system for a bit! Phew.

It was after that that I asked my sister to spank me also after I had pushed some boundaries with her (she previously knew about my sex slave week, so she knew what to do with me!). Then there was the incident where I had David give me some super-embarrassing (playful) swats on the seat of my tight dress hoisted up on his knee in front of my whole family. That got my real Daddy fantasies going but good 'cause Daddy egged David on and teased me after. Then I think I got switched by David "for real" (but more for fun) for taking a wrong turn (my responsibility) on a hiking trail. It was bare bum on the trail (mercifully deserted owing to the time of year), and I had to blow him right there afterwards as "penance". I would not actually call that DD. That was a scene for sure.

Later on I wrote a blog entry Christian Domestic Discipline where I admitted to being fascinated by that whole scene.

A disciplined wife sent to stand in the corner before her spanking.
Imagine how embarrassing if her Mom and Dad happened to drop in?

But it wasn't for me. No, not me. Those guys are a little kooky. Spankings for real? Give me a break. It's all kink, I told myself. Either lying to themselves or (more likely) lying to us.

I did a bunch more subby scenes with David. It became more like 50-50 as my readers pointed out (they counted). Many, many of them involved my "Daddy" fantasies, if not explicitly, then implicitly (in that I was thinking that as David spanked me). The distinction between my real Daddy, an abstract Daddy figure, and my husband was all blurry. They were all mixed in there at the same time. Again, I thought of them all as "scenes". Sexy scenes. They made my tummy flutter, and made me feel good inside. I was Loved. I was never abused. Daddy loves me. Daddy needs to spank me when I'm naughty because he loves me. After my spanking, I would be reassured with how much he loves me with hugs and kisses (and orgasms!).

What I've only now come to realize is that, for me, I have it backwards. It's not that my main goal is sexy feelings and an orgasm, and an imaginary spanking from a father figure is a means to that end. No. It's actually the other way around. I need to feel disciplined to feel loved. Feeling loved in this way makes me warm inside and tingly, and is what leads, incidentally, to sexy feelings. That's how it actually is.

Ok, so that's weird to need to be disciplined to feel loved.  But it's not really that black and white. Sure I feel loved without. But to feel the highest intensity of being loved, I need the discipline. That's not for every woman. But for me, for my personality and my path, it is.


It was this last spanking from David (Julie Spanked for Being Irresponsible) that made me realize that. I had done something wrong, and I knew I had done wrong but would not admit it. David spanked me. He actually spanked me! And then sent me to the corner until I admitted it. That was real. That was fucking real!


But he was right. I had done wrong. I had been childish and irresponsible. I felt I completely deserved my disciplining.

The fact that I had been disciplined, like a child, by my loving but strict husband, without my "consent", was incredibly emotional for me. I felt squishy afterwards that he cared enough about me to do this, to take this risk of offending me.

Afterwards, alone in bed, there was masturbation. Oh my, but there was masturbation! He had mastered me, and it made me feel amazing. As I masturbated, on my tummy, bottom up, I linked my feelings to the same feelings I had as a child when Daddy spanked me, and my sexual feelings towards my Daddy (never acted on, of course!).

Later on, in bed with David, I confessed to my masturbation, and my feelings, and begged him to, casually, tell my Mom and Dad, like no big deal, "I spanked your daughter for being naughty". I wanted those closest to me to know I was a spanked wife. My ask was motivated by kink, but now I know it was more than that.

He followed through, and I found myself very embarrassed, but at the same time very proud, to be a spanked wife, proud that I had a husband who would not hesitate to discipline me when I clearly needed to be disciplined. I don't know if my folks thought it was just playful, but I really want them to know it was real. That I really was and am taken in hand. That my husband judges when I misbehave, and punishes me like a child when I do.


I gave it a lot of thought, and did some online research (one of my "realer" sources was Domestic Discipline, Jenny Style!), and decided that I wanted that. For the rest of my life I want that. The desire for those closest to me to know, heck, for anybody to know but especially those closest to me, is because I want this thing to be the new real for me. I sat down with David and we discussed the parameters of a DD relationship.

I have certain goals I want to achieve. I want to work out at least five times a week in our gym. I want to cook us a healthy dinner at least 3 times a week. I want to keep my weight within a narrow band.  I don't want to overdrink. I don't want to overspend. David will help me with my goals. He will hold me accountable. His behaviour is not my concern. He does not want a DD for himself. I want one for me.

If I feel I have been naughty or irresponsible, I don't want to ask him to discipline me, I want him to see it and act on it. If he feels I have been naughty or irresponsible, whether or not I realize and ask, he will discipline me. Yes, there's a huge measure of trust associated with that last one, but I trust him completely. If I never see it, well so be it. I don't want to continue behaviours that he thinks are wrong, and will submit to his will on those occasions.

I asked him if there were any behaviours in me he wanted to correct? He said there were none, but there is this one bedroom thing... "what?" I asked him. It's about (blush!) blow jobs...  He told me that I really was not that good at giving them. What? Geeze, I mean, not a huge fan, but I thought I was ok at it. I mean, I can make him cum. I thought I was ok at it. Good even. Apparently not. I told him I'd do better, that I'd apply myself and do online research. David suggested I ask my sister for tips (FUCK!). I swallowed my pride and said "Yes Sir". We agreed that if I didn't do my blowjob research and improve, I'd get spanked. He also told me that he really hates it when I run to the bathroom sink and spit (I do that). I'm going to try to do better, and if I do spit we agree that it's spankable.

We agreed that most of my disciplining will be over his knee, with his hand, on my bare bottom. Cornertime also. Implements for more serious or repeated offenses (like a hairbrush, paddle, belt, strap, switch, cane, ...), anywhere from waist to knees, front or back, or tits. He can also be more creative with my discipline if he wishes (like line writing, mouth soaping, thumb sucking, held enemas, ginger root, icy hot, diapering, whatever). I also told him that the day of my spankings that he should expect me to be submissive in bed. Whatever acts/positions he wanted. Even rough blow jobs or hard anal. Husband's choice if I put him in a position to have to discipline me that day.

We are working (well, I am working) on formalizing that into a "DD Contract" as suggested by Jenny: Our DD Contract. Stay tuned. I am in correspondence with Jenny and will run it past her.

Because my parents are already a little bit "in the know", I told David he didn't need to hide anything about our new DD lifestyle from them, or in fact from anybody. I feel proud to be a spanked wife. He should for sure tell my Mom and Dad anytime he spanks me for discipline, and what I did to earn it. Or I will anyways.  Yeah it's embarrassing, but isn't that what a spanking mainly is for a grown woman? Isn't that the whole point? In fact, if he thought it was reasonable and natural to discipline me in front of others, he should do so, and should not hesitate to bare my bum for it, or anything else of me for that matter, if that's what he thinks I need. I consent in advance.

I really do want a spanking in front of, or better yet by, my Dad. Ideally bare breasted and bare bum, where he can see my private parts clearly, maybe, like diaper position or straddling the knee. I doubt that will ever happen. I suppose that's just fantasy, sigh, but I told David that if there ever was an opportunity to discipline me like that he should. He probably won't. Pooh.

Because I really don't intend to misbehave, but want to know I am loved in this way, I asked David to give me maintenance spankings once a month or so. It's a spanking to remind me to be his good girl.

One question I have in my own mind is boundary pushing, or bratting I guess we call it. Is that acceptable in a DD? For example, David has a problem with the skimpy swimwear I prefer to wear at the cottage in the summer ("family harmony" - my little sister gets offended when my nephews get to see their Aunty Julie like that.) Even pre-DD he's discretely threatened me with a spanking for it.  Do I "brat" and see what I can get away with? Test his resolve? It's probably one of the surer ways to "get it" in public. Topless sunbathing on or by the lake is against the county Bylaws. Fucking Nazis. Removing that top is likely to earn me a spanking! I wonder if bottomless spanking on or by the lake is also against the Bylaws? ;-)



I just read about this punishment the other day on O&P Spanking Stories that seems more a European thing I think, which is being "made to dance" to a martinet, a small handled flogger.


The husband would make his wife stand bottomless (or nude), hands on head, as the martinet is whipped indiscriminately from knees to waist, front and back, causing the miscreant (i.e., me) to "dance" in place as she is whipped. I will buy a martinet for David to use on me like this. I guess the "P.G." version would be to do it with only my skimpy bikini bottoms on. Imagine being made to "dance" like that for sunbathing topless, in front of the males of my family. The top would only go back on after my whipping. I'm sure my nephews would love to see their Aunty Julie dancing topless like that under her husband's whip. I doubt my breasts would escape the whip under those circumstances. Oh dear, there I go again. I can't seem to discriminate fantasy from real-life DD. I'll have to put myself in David's hands to ensure I don't go overboard.

And other than boundary pushing, is it still a DD if I deliberately misbehave (or pretend to) knowing it will get me spanked "for cause"? For example, David hates, with a passion, drinking and driving. His rule for himself has evolved to simplicity itself: zero alcohol when driving. If I were to tell him I had a glass of wine or two before driving home? Hoo boy! That's the belt being taken off. I do think zero tolerance is too strict in reality. Stay under the legal limit, it's low enough. But the legal limit is considerably higher than my husband's limit for me, I'm sure.

Maybe every wife's license should have her husband's
limit for her printed on it. Naughty wives caught exceeding
their limits should be placed in handcuffs and taken straight
back to their husbands for the swift administration of justice
to her bare bum with the officers as the official witnesses.

I also swear a lot. You guys have probably noticed. David does not much like that either. I did specifically mention "mouth soaping" to him as alternative punishments, just throwing that out there.

And for some of you, you know who you are, I'll add that David gets annoyed at my tiny bladder capacity. I'm constantly making him stop at rest stops or pull over by the side of the road.


He'll ask me why I didn't "go" before we left. I didn't have to then! These conversations probably make me feel the most childish, as does pulling down my pants and panties to my ankles and squatting by the side of the road.


I have a small bladder, ok? Pack the diapers and the icy hot for long road trips from now on, I suppose, sigh.

I guess I'll have to give some thought as to how rebellious or bratty I ought to be. I'm thinking at least some. I'm still spirited, after all!

I will still spank David for a scene. I don't mind that at all! In fact, he says it will be a spanking offense for me if I don't scene him enough (that will be one we don't tell my parents about, along with the blowjob and swallowing ones!) :-) There's a twist on a Female DD! I also fully intend to remain sassy and provocative. I am comforted to know I have my man to keep me in line if I step over the boundary.

I know you guys are going to think I am crazy (like I did about those Christian DD people), and some of you may be disappointed that "Strict Julie" in fact turns out to be a spanked wife. Oh well. Sorry not sorry.

So far I have been good, and have kept to all of my resolutions and not misbehaved at all, so I am golden! Yay! But I know that if I slip, my husband will be right there with a firm hand to lovingly correct me and set me back on the right path, and cuddle me (and make love to me) afterwards.

I feel excited and am really looking forward to formally settling the parameters and then on to my new DD life!

P.S. I don't mind being teased about my "spanked wife" status, so no need for you guys to hold back at all in your comments. My resulting blushes are helpful to me. I don't at all mind you telling me what you would do with me if I was your wife or grown-up daughter, and in front of whom. I am still kinky!










88 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Sorry not sorry?
      Hey, I still intend to Domme my husband, this is just an extra layer. You'll barely notice ;-)

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    2. Darn right sorry not sorry. There are plenty of F/m only spanking blogs that the masturbators can use. You finding who you are is most important!

      Delete
    3. Yes! Plus there still will be PLENTY for everybody!
      Publishing stuff for the boys to masturbate to has always been a blog goal - and has always been a bit subby of me if you think about it...

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  2. Hi Julie. So much great stuff in this post. Your sixth paragraph is something I could write for myself if the gender pronouns were reversed. Welcome to the other end of the paddle, for real! I hope you like the experience, though it definitely can have elements of, "Be careful what you wish for, you might get it."

    FWIW, I know you and I come from opposite ends of the political spectrum at least where feeling about Trump, but we aren't all that far apart regarding at least some aspects of #MeToo. If I'm going to feel really bad about something related to the casting couch, it's for the better actress who *didn't* get cast because she *didn't* make that trade.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had to go up and count down to 6, and yes, I see it!
      And agree re #metoo. The bigger issue is that some of those girls are just not that bright or self-confident, and they were definitely used and most damaged in the process, and we don't hear too much about them. The ones who are now famous because of it... yeah, fair trade.

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  3. So nice to read that you are now a proud spanked wife!!
    Have fun with provoking your hubby

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  4. Oh Julie, it seems you are finally coming to terms with your true spanning self! And that’s wonderful! It takes a very strong and confidant person to understand and admit their needs. So proud of you, and you should be proud of yourself.

    A few thoughts, as a dominant myself, I will tell you that you fully know the answer to your “question” about bratting, and pushing boundaries to try to get spanked. Punishment and DD spankings should be quiet different than playful fun kink time. You’ll end with tears and a bright red butt, hopefully reminding you of the answer you very well already know.

    Hopefully David will take to his new role, and I’m so excited to hear about your progress as a spanked wife. There is so much more to a DD relationship once you cross this threshold! Congrats!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow. Thank you! It feels like I've joined a club.
      And yes, a dozen from the Delrin cane would put a stop to the bratting pretty quickly! I guess I don't have to worry about it - self correcting!

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  5. Seems that, except by mothers (who need to grow up to discipline their own children), all women really are little girls needing a strong manly figure to care them. Welcome to your true place, wish you happiness!

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    Replies
    1. I think even Moms can be little girls at the same time, though need to switch on a dime, as will I when Domming david.

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  6. It sounds like your family gatherings are about to get a lot more interesting...
    Out of interest, did your siblings get the same kind of spankings as you growing up, or were you all treated differently?

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    Replies
    1. My older sister did, but by the time my younger sister and brother were of spanking age, my parents had given it up. Thus why my little sister can be so unpleasant as a grown up, if you ask me!

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  7. Wow looks like it went from 0 to 100 real quick. Enjoy (or don't ;) I'm curious to see how much your husband is going to take advantage of this new dynamic.

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    Replies
    1. He does not intend to take advantage. He intends to help me hold myself accountable. Though he might enjoy it...

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  8. Congrats on becoming a spanked wife Julie ....should be lots of fun , especially since you will make no attempt to hide it.
    I've started the artwork in anticipation for your first witnessed 'adventure' !
    Eventually the scales balance don't they?

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    1. Darn. Do I have to follow through for it to be revealed, or will it be published as inspiration?

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    2. You provide the account of the scene and I will provide the art.No more stalling know....you know you'll love It!

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    3. Ok. I think I have it. It will involve some breakage. It will be more a DD scene than real DD, and I will have to run it past David. But I'll sell it as an opportunity to discuss our DD more openly with Mom and Dad, which I want to do.

      I have a "bad habit" of balancing all the dishes at once when clearing a table. But I was a waitress back in the day, so I'm good at it. What if David warns me, and I brush him off, but then break a glass on the kitchen floor.

      I can imagine David rushing into the kitchen and standing over and scolding me as I clean up the broken glass. At the end it's a "Come with Me" and he takes me upstairs to the guestroom for my spanking.

      What do you think, believable, spankable?

      After we come back down, I have to apologize to Mom and tell her I gt spanked for it. That would give us an opening to discuss our DD?

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    4. Sounds like a spankable offence to me Julie.
      I suggest when David warns you ,he should add that if you dare smash any plates you will get a spanking.
      When he comes into the kitchen the options are :
      Julie- You're not really going to spank me are you?
      or
      David - I told you what would happen if you broke a plate?
      Julie: You wouldn't dare...not here!
      I'll get to work sketching those broken plates!

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    5. Wait! It has to be a glass. Mom loves those plates!!!! SHE'D spank me if I broke one of her dinner plates! ;-)

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    6. Exactly! Mom will enjoy your spanking even more.
      OK I wil erase the plates and replacing them with glasses....but Don't drop the Crystal!

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    7. Thank you. Now I just have to do it! You're like a salesman, I feel Imowe it to you know! (Which is good!)

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    8. It's always nice to have beautiful woman in my debt!

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    9. Sorry... typing too fast. I mean, Sir,
      "you're like a salesman, I feel I owe it to you now!"
      Spankable?

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    10. You know you are very spankable young lady...and I expect that debt to be paid!
      I may add my own little twist to the actual scene....

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  9. I've noticed that the end of Winter and the beginning of Winter seem to be some of the subbiest Kinkiest times for you. Now that the links ate all in one place it would be interesting to check them to see if I'm right about that one!
    One DD conundrum, and you can easily check this over at My Bottom Smarts, is that the Wives who usually initiate this arrangement oftentimes want the husbands to be psychic as well as implacable and proactive so there is usually a " why doesn't he step up and be an HOH " post if not several. To this end mainentance spankings are essential to quell the cravings because this is an erotic exploit insofar s there is a psychological drama at play. So if we imagine a wife who tells her husband she wants to be spanked for crossing boundaries and he says , Oh no problem it's always been that way and you never crossed a boundary yet -there she is with a disciplinarian and no spankings and she is NOT satisfied at all. So Maintenance but only that, a form of self reporting is required along with a penalty for not self reporting , maybe even a formal request for discipline form! We should also note and be realistic about the fact that these activities cause endorphins and dopamine which then dissipate and then we are left wanting more, hence bratting. So self reporting, and maintenance will result in your itches getting scratched a lot more often. I have always admired your intrepid nature as far as the scene goes , but one of the cardinal rules besides safety is that others have the right not to know about your exploits, so you might not want to out yourself at least for their benefit. Looking forward to hearing all about it! Congratulations.

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    1. Great points. I do want him to pick up on things and not have to self-report, but their may have to be an acclimation period where he calibrates to the sorts of things I would wish he picks up on.

      I don't accept others' absolute right not to know. It's more a courtesy than a right, I would say. I won't blurt it out to just anybody, of course, but those closest to me should know (as hiding it would be rude - by definition you share important things with those closest to you - not the explicit details, but the concept). If they have questions, or ask for more detail, I will answer truthfully. Spanking titillates us, but for others it's more associated with childish punishment, which is fair.

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  10. Hi Julie, I'm a huge fan of your blog and have been following since the beginning. As a switch, I can relate to a lot of the experiences you have written about. I think you are heading in the right direction with exploring DD and can't wait to see where this goes.

    Why do you want to have a formalized DD contract? I have a feeling that David will have no problem keeping you in line as a spanked wife without a contract.

    Also, don't you think it is finally time to reveal this blog to David?

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    1. The DD is more about David helping me to meet my own expectations of myself. I think it's only fair to give him some explicit guidelines. What behaviours, what types of punishments, when and where. He needs to know my limits both to stay under them and to be free to go up to them. And I don't want an ongoing dialog, I want to set the framework up front and then let him lead.

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  11. WC here David should hang paddles around the house with sayings on them like. Wife tantrum tamer. Bare bottom board of education. Etc. he should have a list of Julies demerits on the refrigerator. He should buy a real female chastity belt to display as art in your living room. And speaking about that I would certainly prohibit your masturbation for a few days after I had to blister your bare bottom. Shameful Julie!

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    1. THAT is exactly why we need a DD contract! :-)
      In Jen's contract it spells out that she MUST take alone time to masturbate.
      Though I would not be averse to the demerit list on the fridge (oh BLUSH!), or a "wife tamer" paddle hung up prominently in the house (blush blush blush!)

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  12. One of our favorite alternates/additionals is enforced bottomlessness. She says she finds it so embarrassing yet so hot at the same time walking around the house freshly spanked and naked below the waist, knowing she is available for occasional smacks on the bum or a mounting at any time.

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  13. Your honesty and openness is truly refreshing. Can’t wait to read more.

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  14. Get ready Julie for your trips over David's knee.
    I think you love it with his hands only (no implement) to feel overpowered.
    I do that to my wife, and when she has been really bad I just give her home bastinado (I hold her feet under my arm pit and hit her with a ruler), this makes her feel overpowered as she doesn't have to tied because her man is strong enough to do it without ropes.
    Once we had an argument and she threw her slipper at me, I immediately put her otk and used her slipper to teach her a hard lesson, she was unlucky because it was an Ipanema flip flop, these really hurt.
    To humulate her further, all spankings take place with her slipper since then, she says it impacts her deeply all the time to know that her own slipper will be used to spank her.
    After a month or so we returned back to the usual hand spankings.

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    1. You sound like a good husband. She had it coming!

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  15. When I imagine the most exciting kind of DD relationship, it’s one where both partners are subject to the same discipline from the other partner (or both from a third party in fantasy.) With you now being genuinely disciplined by your husband, your new regime at home is very close to that. I’m not very interested in one-dimensional submissive females, and it’s especially exciting to see a strong, independent, and even “bratty” wife, who is also very strict, skilled and enthusiastic as a Domme, needing to be nurtured and disciplined as a vulnerable little girl. Yes, you will be even more deeply and justifiably embarrassed, and that will be a most potent ingredient in this disciplinary process. I don’t know about submissive males who come here looking for a strictly dominant female but, for me, I love your dominance, and I love that you need your Daddy.

    I reread your last posts, and there’s a universe of things going on here. It will take some time to sort through and process it, and there should be much to think and talk about as your new life as Wife Taken In Hand unfolds.

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    1. Thank you Brett.

      You know what is amusing, all the men who come here and wish for me to dominate them, well, they'd be dominated by a submissive spanked wife, and so how low does that make them?

      From your email to me:
      "You twist to look at your behind in the mirror, and the stark realization hits you that when you misbehave, your daddy or husband will have the authority to discipline that bare bottom to make you a good girl. For many in your position, there’s a strong, even desperate, protective mechanism that needs to keep the knowledge of this mortifying condition a guarded secret that remains behind closed doors, or at least only known to the outside world by the understanding readers of a blog. Though the “taken in hand” relationship can cause you that level of embarrassment, you want everyone around you to know the true status in your marriage. When those close to you know, they know you, you must own that identity, and the DD in your life feels all the more unambiguously real. Everyone is going to know that you are disciplined at home in a manner no different than a toddler. That makes you different than your peers in a powerfully humbling way, yet it’s evidence that you have a Daddy who loves you very much, enough that he doesn’t compromise when it comes to parenting you."

      your writing makes me melt...

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  16. Hi Julie,
    I only recently discovered your Blog. It is Frank, erotic and honest (who else would write about fantasies of being buggered by their Father).
    I have absolutely loved reading the blog from the first post up to the current. I hope you will continue to write as your emotions and desires develop down the ‘Taken in Hand’
    Role.
    All the best, stay safe
    Mark x

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    1. Wow! All the way from first to current. Well done!
      And thank you for your kind comment, fishy.

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    2. Lol,
      I should point out I have not gone from start to finish in one sitting - I ‘discovered‘ you early December and have been playing catch up since. I love the journey you are taking and you write so descriptively well. I am totally hooked!!
      Pardon the fishy pun (I don’t fish by the way)
      M
      x

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    3. I will myself voraciously consume a blog in a couple of all night settings, though none as long as my own (i did do Jen's blog referenced above in one day, though I skimmed some!)

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  17. Well, you will have to behave yourself now, young lady! Otherwise you are likely to be subject to disciplinary action. Possibly even in public. Can you imagine the humiliation? The comments, the guarded laughter of those witnessing you being stripped naked and spanked to correct your behaviour. And you only have yourself to blame, don't you?

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    1. Yes Sir. I am working on my Domestic Discipline Contract right now, and the parts of it that detail my husband's right to spank me "on the spot" make my tummy drop!

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    2. Susan is Definitely going to be getting an eyefull and an earfull and no doubt she will happen by during some sort of aftermath and sanction to find you in the corner or otherwise occupied in some state of embarrassing undress

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    3. Yes, she will no doubt go poking her nose where she ought not to! And she will tease me like crazy. I spoke to her about this thing, and she thinks I am NUTS.

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  18. It does seem though that you need to re-title your blog to Strict Julie Spanked!

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    1. Or. in your mind you can reinterpret "Strict Julie Spanks!" as the spanks earned by "Strict" Julie?

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  19. If you swap the pronouns you are describing my marriage. The only difference is that we don't switch for BDSM play. Mrs. Lion and I are 50/50 partners. Her role as my disciplining wife brings me a strong sense of comfort and care.

    We don't have a contract. We don't need one. The DD is quite simple: She determines what I need to be doing better. Almost every part of our lives is a loving partnership. If I break a rule she has made or otherwise cross the line, I get spanked. It's as simple as that. We've been at this for about four years.DD is a natural part of our lives. We are both comfortable with how it works. I'm sure that you will also find that balance.

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    1. I'm working on my contract now. i don;really think we need one either, but in my case it's to really clearly say what I want from this, and then sign it and commit for an initial period (6 months). It's also to really clearly spell out to David, "hey, you can go that far, that's ok".

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    2. I'm still trying to convince Mrs. Lion she can go that far! I think it will be easier for you.

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  20. Looks like a lovely change. Fully agree that your pee desperation problems must cause some frustrations, so you will need to be spanked to improve in that area.
    Good luck, sara elise

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    1. I ran the contract past David, and entirely unprompted, swear to God, he inserted a "Going Potty" clause. His words! Do I know my man or what? :-)

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  21. Julie I am so proud of you for sharing this and being completely open about it. As we used to talk quite a bit in the past I remember me telling you that I saw this in you and as you may remember I am firm believer in discipline for myself as well as others

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    1. Yeah, I remember. I guess I'm there now...

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    2. It’s definitely a journey

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  22. How great, Ms. Julie, for you to be embarking (continuing) on this journey.  I can absolutely understand ,and indeed empathize, with your desire for loving control and correction in those aspects of your life. 
    Also, it seems correction as you describe, bare and exposed, in front of your father may at some point be a possibility as you've laid some groundwork already.
    What would affect you most deeply were it to happen?  Would it be the exposure of your vulnerability and willingness to accept correction  or the exposure of your sex to him with the possibility of him thinking of you on some level in a sexual way?  Or maybe something else altogether?
    vic

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    1. Good question. I think less the latter, more the former. When I masturbate thinking about it, him spanking me with my bare pussy exposed, I say to myself, "no Daddy, please! Don't look at me THERE. Please!" and he's all like "oh yes, young lady, I'm looking at you RIGHT THERE" as he spanks. It's the most deeply embarrassing and humbling thing in my existence, for my Daddy to see me writhing around with my wet gaping pussy on show. And then I would CUM, cum right across his knee JUST from getting a hard bare bottom spanking, and he would be "None of your nonsense, young lady, don't think your spanking will stop because of that!"

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  23. Nothing makes you feel more little and punished than a soapy enema and a spanking.

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    1. I've made david hold enemas before. The dansing and but clenching is good fun (for the top!)

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  24. Julie, you are an unrepentant chatterbox. Do not forget to specify in your DD contract, the provision of enough rolls of sticking plaster for david to gag you permanently. :)

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    1. If you mean my multiple giant posts lately, I would have to agree!

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  25. If you really want the humiliation mixed with excitement then you should become a cuckquean as I have. My husband does not spank me because that would take too much attention. Instead he openly has sex in our bed with whomever he wants, usually my sister, who he reminds me is prettier than I am. I wait outside the door listening to them until it is time to bring them wine. I am usually dressed as a French maid with very high heels. It is so embarrassing to serve them like this but I get so turned on. Funny, but I fantasize about being the one to service my sister. She does let me massage her feet now before my husband gets home. And she has me clean her apartment in the nude except for locking five inch heels. But that is all and it is so frustrating! I can see this is a great opportunity for you to become a cuckquean with Sue as your cuckcake

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    1. Sounds hot!
      but I'm being 'kinda a little on this one...

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  26. I get it it is hard at first. But it plays into my lesbian/ incest/ submissive/ fantasies that I never knew I had . Not to mention humiliation/turn-on. I really feel owned after a night like this, especially when I am thanking my sister at the end of the night or the next morning depending on whether I have spent the night standing at attention at the bedroom door in those heels

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    1. I guess I don't have the "girlcuck" gene. If there's a girl in bed with David either I put her there because I want a piece of that ass, or I'll scratch her fucking eyes out :-)

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  27. You dont have to buy a martinet, you can make one with leather shoe laces...
    B

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  28. Totally! Of course you can always lean all the way into it if you want.

    Naughty Julie Spanked
    Slutty Julie Punished
    Spanked Wife Julie

    Or my favorite: “Formally strict wife, now nude in the corner. With a red butt, plugged and in tears” but maybe that’s just me...

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  29. Let's see if I may be of assistance with some helpful resulting blushes shall we?
    Perhaps a telephone call? From you to you Sister?
    "Hi Sue it's me
    Well, quite nervous actually....hang on David wants to say Hi
    Ya he wanted to check to make sure you were actually on the line.
    Well, because I'm being instructed to ..to tell you certain things
    that I might not ....well that I might be hesitant to say and to invite you at your convenience to stop by this weekend to witness...well it depends on when its convenient for you of course it would depend on what you would see...me being punished
    If dinner sounds good we can make a whole evening of it or if the afternoon works best then it would be more random or just a quick visit is fine as well, totally up to you.
    (sigh) yes I'll stop stalling and get to the point.
    There is a weekend long Julie's naughty bottom punishment humiliation extravaganza taking place and David .......(yes) and myself as well, think it would be best if it was witnessed to some extent to make it....well....real.
    Well as I said it depends on when you come over of course but some of the highlights will be Friday afternoon before dinner ....oooh ...well....I am to be shaved
    I know I am already shaved, not there.....my bottom will be shaved, I know it's already very smooth but this way it sort of ....it's a raise the bridge /lower the water kind of thing. First hot towels then a thick layer of shaving cream them a long, slow, methodical shaving of every bit of any layer of protection against any spanks coming my way.
    then after that there's Friday maintenance and implement testing and this week we are comparing stingy vs thuddy light vs heavy so wooden spoon to wooden paddle and ruler to something called a lexan paddle , the spencer variety with the holes in it for air flow,it's supposed to sting like bees!
    Then there's the issue of my need to practice my skills in the oral department and I;ve been told to consult you on that and I havent yet and so well, there's few sanctions headed my way in that regard.and then remember when I sent David to your house in adult diapers? yes well he found the box of them because I didn;t throw them away and they're one size fits all and he said something about them and somehow as the weekend progresses the outfits will progress from strict to slutty to juvenile to ....well infantile.
    So when did you think you would?...... oh Slutty Saturday then, for dinner? and the evening? Yes 4 o'clock for cocktails, that;s fine, hang on David wants to talk to you some more. Yes I know, you think I'm nuts and Saturday you'll be coaching me on how to not forget his nuts. O.k back to the corner for me. see you then".

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  30. well least now you going learn how bve very good girl get your cutre butt the real spankings you need Right Miss Julie

    were you able sit down after the real punishment spanking got from your lovely Husband

    part of me figure would come to something like this wehn you started switching with Sue and the one time Husband spanked you from video and picture you show us even Tracy and her husband as well

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  31. Dear Julie:

    I am sorry to hear of your bad (terrifying) experience. My wife Irene also had a "bad" experience (she went along with the sex, but did not feel like she had a choice) which is why she says she has no interest in anything submissive.

    She agrees with you that some of the #metoo claims are unwarranted.

    Best,

    Rosco

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    1. Well, I came around eventually to subby stuff!

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  32. "Topless sunbathing on or by the lake is against the county Bylaws. Fucking Nazis. Removing that top is likely to earn me a spanking! I wonder if bottomless spanking on or by the lake is also against the Bylaws? ;-) "
    Your humor finds it difficult to hide your anger against a typically North American appreciation which seems very surprising, very stupid and very unfair from an European point of view.

    It would seem that the inhabitants of North America, USA as Canada, confuse the woman's chest and her sex, just as the senator William Hays confused in his time sex and navel! This seems to reflect an incredible immaturity here. It is true that the United States sent two space probes into space with the image of a sexual man and a sexless woman, her sex having been "erased" following virulent attacks by Congress and the press screaming at "pornography"! Because if the sex of the woman is pornography, the sex of the man is not pornography? This should interest psychiatrists and psychologists! These are the aliens who are going to laugh about it so much it is ridiculous!

    The more or less marked swelling of the female chest is in principle intended only for nurturing functions, nothing more. Is it so unbearable to lay eyes on what almost fed us all at the start of our lives?

    This is a cause which, rather than dispersing into stupidly hateful fights against men, could healthily occupy your feminist movements: the right for a woman as for a man to evolve freely with a bare chest, without any major induced sexual signal, no more in men than in women.
    The breasts of women are not really different from that of men: why would we hide it if we reveal that of men?

    In front of the dangerous rise of obscurantism, Islamist or not, leading to the oppression of the bodies, in particular to that of the female body, but not only, it would be in my opinion a much wiser fight to wage than those which seem to be currently in vogue.

    For my part, not only would I consider that a woman who is topless at the beach or at the pool behaves well and deserves no spanking, but that those who deserve spanking, and there a bare bottom spanking with exposed sex would be desirable, would rather be those who keep their top while their men must reveal their chest!

    Do you want equality? So take it!

    For those who would think that the breast of women is something so different and ... ugly (?) that it should be hidden, would it not then be wise if the criterion is aesthetic to also hide most of the male breasts ? If ignoramus and primitive people feel "embarrassed" at the sight of female breasts, I would advise them to learn about what is called gynecomastia and to meditate on the significant number of men who have more breasts than some women!
    Should we then force these men with gynecomastia to wear a bikini top like women in your county? ;)

    Besides, if one has to be completely honest, the buttocks too should be able to gain this freedom to be revealed, because from an anatomical point of view, the forms overlap in reality much more than we think, and statistically , it is very difficult to draw a line between the sexes, but that is yet another debate...

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    1. While I agree, I do kind of like that my breasts still retain power over men. And breasts are, let's face it, sexy as hell!

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    2. Thanks for agreeing, breast of both sex can be sexy, no doubt about it, and a pretty female breast is always a charming asset for a straight man like me, in the same way as pretty legs, and certainly less than pretty buttocks, but I also wonder what can be the effect of a powerful and well-designed male chest on a straight woman and on a gay... ;)

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  33. Mistress Julie, I've enjoyed reading about your spanking kink. You have disciplined david so often and so severely (even writing that gets me aroused) that I'm still having trouble seeing you on the receiving end. The visuals of your lovely bottom help me with that. But, then I start seeing your scrumptious bum for what it is -- a work of art. An object to be worshipped. And then I think of how it should be worshipped. You'll have to excuse me again. I have something I really need to do ... lars.

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    1. Why thank you lars. Being submissive is MY choice, as is being Dominant. So all my choices.

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