The Tangled Musings of Tankerton Latch

I'd like to introduce you all to a wonderful, quirky, insightful, sexy new blog I've been following called "The Malfunctioner". The author is a young man who goes by the pen-name Tankerton Latch. He's of an age that when I was 17 I could easily have been his babysitter.

He not only writes the sort of smut we love, he also writes about Life, the Universe and Everything. He is witty and fun to read. Like a modern-day J. D. Salinger, Kerouac, or a Gen-Y Douglas Coupland. Quirky and clever. I warn you that some of his stuff gets dark and personal. Some of it is a train-wreck that you cannot turn away from.

Tankerton Latch

"Tanky", as I affectionately call him has been lurking on my blog for several years. Recently Tanky published an anonymous comment on my Women's Pussies Punished on Wooden Ponies. That post put him over the delurking edge, just as I was fantasizing being punished by having my pussy over the wooden edge.

He wrote,

Oh Julie, whilst I agree a simple wooden pony would add some rustic charm to your cottage and act as a real conversation piece, I do worry about you getting chilly up in the Great White North with your tits out on display. I would have you don a hessian top whilst riding your pony, similar to the one worn here:

I'm sure you'd agree this retro look would fit the situation perfectly! After your ride I would help you step into the matching panties, pulling the coarse fabric up your legs until they're snug around your waist. I'm sure your sore red backside would look fantastic in these botty-huggers!

Of course, you wouldn't be wearing a bra like this lucky model, but would remain in your hessian punishment outfit whilst you carried on with the activities I had planned for you. The itchy fabric rubbing against your bare skin, your glowing buttocks and your well punished pussy would be a constant reminder to strive to be your best self! You would wear them whilst you cleaned the cottage and washed the windows (inside & out!), explored a local hiking trail, prepared dinner, and orally pleasured a playmate I arranged for you to meet. At the end of the day you would sit down on a hard wooden chair and blog about your experiences before carefully changing out of your punishment outfit and into your pyjamas. Satisfied with a busy day well spent you would climb into bed and, I have no doubt, bring yourself to multiple orgasms, cumming like a champ several times before drifting off to sleep.

It was one of my submissive posts, so of course all dominant-style comments were welcome. However, some make me feel much more submissive than others, and have the effect of both making my pussy tingle and dampening my panties; and this one did that in spades. It's not the silly itchy underwear that does it for me, it's the kinky, clever mind of the person suggesting it. Where other women may submissively melt at the sight of a hunky body-builder type, I submissively melt at a brawny IQ firing at full strength towards miss hard-nipple puss-puss.

And what's worse is Tanky is young enough to be my nephew or something... Bad, bad, naughty little man-boy, making Aunty wet her panties like that...

Soon after that comment, Tanky created an account to comment and identified himself as the original poster. He also started sending me emails. Since then he has been commenting more frequently. One comment to my Wives Punished on One-Bar Prison post was extra fun.

In response to a commenter that suggested leaving a wife alone like that might be dangerous, and me wondering if there was a baby jumper sort of arrangement that could make it safer, Tanky proposed the following:

Point of interest: You can find those jumpers built for big girls! They seem like they could be fun under the right circumstances...

Aaliyah Taylor's Fetish

Seems like a fun way for a restless sub to tire herself out before being put down for a nap! You remember what happens to little girls who are naughty during naptime, don't you?!

I'm not sure if Tanky remembered at the time, but that thought "triggered me" (in a good way!), and I wrote back:

Oh blush! I do. You are no doubt referring to the time Daddy hauled me out of bed, put me face down across his lap, gave me a little spanking across the seat of my cotton print panties in front of Sue, who then gave me an "I told you so" afterwards when I was crying my eyes out.

Pretty soon Tanky and I were exchanging emails, and he made it his mission to get me hot and horny on each email, and succeeded. His emails were long, juicy, sexy, quirky. The first was entitled "My Little Pony Rider". The title already had me in a submissive state of mind and I felt the tell-tale tingle.  He started with a bit of small-talk and then went into a couple of scenarios imagining devious games he would play with a couple of subs (yours truly one of them). I really, really do enjoy reading about what my blog people want to do with me, or have me do with them! He then went on to elaborate on possibilities at the cottage with Larry, riffing off what happened in Wife Spanked and Neighbour Told.

Tanky imagined David taking me shopping for diapers and running into Larry whilst doing so ("whilst" -- fancy, eh? Tanky rubbing off on me). David invites Larry and his wife around for dinner. When they come, I greet them at the door with only a diaper under my apron! I'll let Tanky take it from here...

"Why don't you hang your apron in the kitchen and then come back and sit on my knee?" David asks, though you recognise it as a command. Blushing fiercely, you turn on the spot and walk back to the kitchen, exposing your diapered rear end. You keep moving forward, unsure if the sounds your guests make are from surprise, excitement, disgust, or a mixture of the three. You recall the spanking you received in the cottage that afternoon, and wonder if the tops of your thighs are still red.

You hang up your apron, briefly check your reflection and take a deep breath before heading back into the living room with as much confidence as you can muster. You are conscious of the lingering gazes of your companions but make no effort to hide your diaper, determined to do as you are instructed with grace and decorum. Smiling warmly you take your place on your husbands left knee, one of your bare legs either side of his denim-clad one. David wraps an arm around your waist and you feel your pussy tingle as his leg makes the slightest movement.

"So David wasn't kidding then?" Larry asks rhetorically. "We were sure he must have been joking."

"There's no way I'd let Larry put me in a diaper!" his wife tells you. "Do you really go to the bathroom in that thing?"

"Oh yes!" David answers on your behalf. "She found it hard to do at first, especially in front of me or when we're out and about. But now she's resigned to these occasional disciplinary measures she can go without much fuss. She still gets embarrassed when I change her, though. You should have seen her this morning; she had a bit of a runny bottom and she made a great big poopy in her diaper only twenty-five minutes after I cleaned her last mess! Head in her hands the whole time I was changing her, bless her!"

With this David hugs you even tighter for a few seconds whilst jiggling his leg up and down. You stare at the floor, mortified. You can't remember being so embarrassed! You wonder how long your guests will stay after dinner. Will you have to wet yourself in front of them? Would they watch whilst David changed you? You become aware that whilst you have been familiar with these people for years, you don't really know them very well at all.

Isn't there delicious humiliation in there? Ok, a bit gross in parts, but the grossness serves the "shame art" in this case and adds rather than detracts in my opinion (YMMV).

After this little episode, the wife reveals that she is peeved at Julie for a perceived sexualization of her husband. Larry's wife says,

"Larry showed me the email she sent him, it said you knew she was writing it. And now Larry tells me you want to apologise in person?"

This last comment is directed at you, and you are quick to respond. "Yes ma'am! I'm very sorry that I wasted your time. I appreciate you securing the cottage for us and take full responsibility for inconveniencing. It was a silly accident and I-"

"I don't give a fuck about your front door!" Larry's wife interjects. "I want to know why you're coming on to my husband!"

You realise your mouth is still open and you struggle for words. "I - I wasn't coming on to him!"

"Oh please!" she responds. "Parading around in your wet swimsuit, goading your husband into spanking you in front of him, talking about your... relations, and now e-mailing him accounts of sexual activity? I wasn't born yesterday, young lady! And now, this!" With this last comment she points straight at your exposed diaper, and you sit dumbstruck until David speaks up.

Oh no! Found out! This is one of my real-life embarrassments, that in the pursuit of being seen as a "spanked wife", people will realize and confront me with my needy sexual reality. David comes to my rescue:

"If I may... Julie has boundaries that are different to most people's. She genuinely needs punishment such as spankings and time-outs, and will act out more and more without them. She still receives spankings from her parents, and her sister too. She is also very... generous, sexually, and enjoys displaying her body to friends, family and strangers alike. Whilst she enjoyed flaunting herself to your husband, this should not be considered an explicit invitation to take things further."

You are unable to see David's face from your vantage point on his knee, and so stare at your bare feet whilst awaiting your neighbours' response.

Stare at my feet, embarrassed to death! It's not what you think, it's just that she's a raving slut. Hits a little too close to home. Tanky makes me feel that way... that I've been hit a little too close to home. His words are like a kick to my pussy. It hurts, but after the boot is pulled away you realize it also tingles and dampens.

"You're telling me there is not a sexual element to these spankings? Specifically, the spanking you emailed my husband about? Julie, have you been thinking about my husband in a sexual manner?"

You take a second to consider before replying. "It's... complicated. There is definitely something about spanking that is a release for me, both emotionally and physically. The spanking was definitely a punishment, and a well-deserved one, but I would be lying if I said my pussy didn't let me down by getting wet whilst I was being seen to by David, but I wasn't thinking about Larry during my spanking!"

"You were thinking about the note you would send him whilst you were playing with yourself in the corner though, weren't you?" chimes in David. "I had to take my belt to you for that little transgression! You told me you thought Larry would enjoy seeing that, too!"

You can tell your guests are not best pleased by this news, but he continues. "Julie was being honest with you, but the larger truth is she thinks about most people she meets in a sexual manner in some way and often acts accordingly, whether it is simply making sure others view her as a sexually desirable being or orchestrating a situation in which a third party views or participates in a sexually explicit scenario. In the past these third parties have ranged from total strangers to her own sister."

Oh my goodness. Another kick to my pussy. Mercy, Sir, she can't take any more!

Larry is clearly excited by the direction the conversation is heading in, though it is his wife that speaks directly to you. "I see. So although you enjoy it, it registers as a punishment as well?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"And you think my Larry would enjoy seeing you punished in this manner?"

"Yes, ma'am."

She smiles wanly. "I think so, too. Well, I raised three children and was a school teacher for many years, with many colleagues with stories of the good old days. I joined a sorority when hazing and public physical disciplines were not just allowed, but expected. I know a thing or two about corporal punishment. I see there is a paddle upon your mantle. Is that used for spanking you?"

"Yes ma'am" you answer.

"Of course it is" she answers, smiling. "And that strap-on dildo that was mentioned, do you have that here?"

"Yes ma'am" you nod, a little bit too enthusiastically.

"Then if you are amenable, I shall spank you good and hard over my lap with my hand, right on your bare bottom. You will then stand up and bend over, presenting your bottom to me for a paddling, which I will gladly administer. I will inspect your pussy with my hand, and if I discover you are as aroused as you claim you will be I shall don your strap-on harness, and you shall offer up all three holes to me, to borrow your husband's charming expression. At this point I shall penetrate you anally, right here in front of your husband, so I hope you have some sort of lubrication here as well. When I am ready I will inspect you with my hand again, and if you are still wet you shall offer to pleasure my husband orally to completion. When we are through with you your husband will place you back in your diaper and you shall serve us dinner. We will then carry on with our evening as planned, only you shall remain topless, as you enjoy being ogled so very much. Do you agree to proceed with my plan?"

"Yes ma'am!" you answer quickly.

THAT, is an exciting plan, OMG!!!! The rest of the story details the ensuing goings on, and it was every bit as exciting as was the setup.

I confess that when I first opened the email, I was a bit distressed as to its length, not expecting that. I do like long juicy emails, but I like to be prepared for them. So I had to skim through it the first time. But after skimming through the above story, I came back to it and diddled myself to a nice little orgasm while reading it. After Tanky launched his blog and we'd exchanged more email, I wanted to post a blog entry introducing him to my readers. There were a number of his email stories I could have chosen, but I was drawn back to this one. And on further reading, I did not think my casual diddling of myself really did his writing justice. And if I was going to post a blog featuring his story, I would need to put on a better performance than that.

So, I made some "quality time" for myself, alone, in the bedroom, totally naked, iPad in one hand, sex toys (blush!) near to the other. I had a dildo ready for my bottom hole, a dildo ready to suck on, a Muskoka paddle for my bottom, and my trusty Hitachi, just in case. David was out of the house. I was alone. Had he been there, and were I to have been discovered, I would have been extremely embarrassed, properly spanked (to tears), put in timeout, and not allowed to cum the way I wanted, if at all. But when the big dog's away, the pussy will play! I read on:

"I am sorry for the lewd words and behaviour I directed towards your husband. I did not consider I would be hurting you with my actions. Please punish me as you see fit." You have both hands in front of you, fingers intertwined, shielding your pussy from view as best you can. You are all too aware that you are already beginning to get wet with excitement.

"That is a very gracious apology, Julie. I am glad we had this frank discussion and will indeed punish you. Please bend over my lap, presenting your bottom to me as best as you are able, so I can administer a hand-spanking."

You do as she says, laying over her, eyes shut. You wonder how hard she'll spank you, and for how long. You are surprised how quiet Larry is being; it seems that for all his bluster his wife is the one that takes charge in the bedroom. A few beats go by before you decide to speak up: "Please spank me, ma'am!"

"I shall!" your tormentor responds, running her hands across your smooth, pert buttocks, which you know must still be showing signs of your earlier spanking. "Whilst I do, you shall reflect on the conversation that took place this evening and how you wish to conduct yourself in the future." Finally, she ends your anticipation with a firm slap delivered to the base of your right butt cheek. A few seconds pass before you feel a second spank delivered to your left cheek, just as firm, just as humiliating. She continues alternating between the left and right cheek for some time, getting faster and faster until suddenly - slap! - she delivers a blow across both tender cheeks that you feel in your bottom hole as well. She focuses her attention on either buttock once more before attacking the middle of your warm red rump again, and continue in this pattern - left, right, middle, left, right, middle - maintaining her firm strike but steadily increasing her tempo.

Despite her instruction to you before you can't think of anything other than the pain growing in your rear end, the spectacle you are making of yourself in front of the others, and the confusing mixture of feelings as you experience fear, desire, humiliation and pride all at once. You feel the stares from the men in the room whom you know must be enjoying the show. You wonder if you might embarrass yourself further by climaxing whilst lying across this other woman's lap. When she abruptly stops you are not sure whether you are feeling more relief or disappointment. You definitely feel a familiar tingle in your puss and have no doubt you are wet with excitement. The room is silent and there is a moment that seems electrified by possibility, as if literally anything could happen next.

After I read the passage I put my iPad down, turned onto my tummy, pulled a pillow underneath myself, and gave myself a hand spanking while imagining I am across her lap, the men watching. Left cheek. Right cheek. Middle. Repeat... That was just to warm myself up...

Tentatively, you speak up. "Thank you for spanking me, ma'am!"

"Not at all!" she responds. "I hope it gave you an opportunity to reflect. Now, if you stay there whilst I check you..." You feel two fingers brush against your most intimate area, causing your whole body to shudder. "Oh my, you're very damp indeed. Stand up and bend over, placing your hands against the wall for support. David, bring me the paddle from the mantle."

You rise with as much dignity as you can muster, and she follows suit. You take in her admiring smile, Larry's appreciative grin and a supportive wink from David before turning to face the wall as instructed.

As you assume the correct position, bending over to display your glowing backside to your audience, you hear an appreciative whistle, presumably from Larry. You hear his wife thanking David, presumably for passing her the paddle, and then the room fills with expectant silence.

"Please paddle me, ma'am!" You do your best to keep your voice steady, as if asking the older lady to further punish your aching bottom was the most natural thing in the world.

"Certainly I shall!" she responds. "Spread your legs a little." You feel her foot push against the instep of your left leg and you adjust your stance according to her liking. "Good!" she says, before administering a blow that connects with your lower backside. You feel an instant warmth radiate across the base of both buttocks and your precious bottom hole for a few seconds before you feel the paddle strike again. As she settles into a steady rhythm, punishing you firmly and precisely, you find yourself pondering this capable lady and imagining what it would have been like to be raised by her, taught by her, loved by her. You realise that soon you'll be fucked by her, and in the ass no less! And with onlookers! Suddenly the paddling stops, and you feel her delicate hands massaging your backside, feeling the heat and relieving you from some of the pain.

"I will now administer a hard paddling, what was once referred to as six of the best. This means I will be delivering six final spanks to your long-suffering botty, and you shall count out each one, thanking me for it. Is that understood?"

"Yes ma'am!" you reply earnestly, though your heart sinks a little. You hate counting out strokes, and are sure this lady will be merciless with these final six. This suddenly feels much more like a performance piece.

"Then we shall begin." Suddenly -CRACK!- your bottom feels like it's on fire. You inhale quickly and shift your weight from one foot to the other.

"One! Thank you, ma'am!"

"Good. Again."

CRACK!

"Two! Thank you, ma'am!"

"Good. Keep those legs apart."

CRACK!

"Three! Thank you, ma'am!"

"Good. Halfway there."

CRACK!

"Four! Thank you, ma'am!"

"Good. Remember your breathing."

CRACK!

"Five! Thank you, ma'am!"

"Good. Nearly done!"

CRACK!

"Six! Thank you, ma'am!"

"Good. Stay there."

As I read about the paddling I turn onto my side and take up the paddle. I reach behind myself and deliver some resounding cracks to my bottom. Oh my! A hot bottom always puts me in the mood, apparently even if self-administered.

You hear Larry moving in closer, to inspect his wife's handiwork. You wonder how his hard cock will taste in your mouth.

"Simmer down boys" his wife scolds, fondling your searing buttocks with both hands. You feel her fingers glide across your eager pussy once more before retreating, no doubt glistening with moisture.

"Well," she announces, "it seems you were telling the truth. I have punished you severely and without compassion, and you still seem aroused. I accept you were not making advances toward my husband."

"Thank you ma'am," you reply. Then, "I offer myself to you, ma'am. Every inch of me. I am yours to do with as you please."

"Thank you Julie. David, if I have your blessing, I would like you to bring me your strap-on dildo so I can penetrate Julie anally."

"I'll be right back" David announces cheerfully, and without hesitation.

"Julie, please step away from the wall and lower yourself to all-fours. When your husband returns I will don the strap-on with which I will be fucking your asshole. I suggest you lubricate yourself whilst I do so."

Nervously you make your way to the centre of the room and get down on your hands and knees. You can see Larry's face now, and he is beaming at you unabashedly. You have no doubt he is as horny as you are in that moment.

David pops in your line of sight and hands you a tub of Vaseline. He smiles and shakes his head in mock disapproval, like a father who has caught his daughter reading a story after lights out. You can read his expression: What am I going to do with you?

Oh no. This is the ultimate humiliation. Down on all fours, about to be taken doggy style, and in the bottom hole, expected to lubricate my own bum hole with my fingers while everybody watches me as I do it. And no doubt taken roughly, by a strict woman, directly in front of two men. I am to be fucked. Publicly fucked. In my well-spanked ass. As humiliated as it is possible for a woman to be. While the men look, laugh, and tease.

You take the Vaseline and begin greasing up your rear entry liberally, pushing two slippery up fingers deep inside yourself. It is uncomfortable, but not altogether unpleasant, and you know from experience you will soon be glad you did. It is not long before you feel a hand pressing firmly on either hip and you quickly withdraw your own hand from between your legs and plant it on the floor. You feel a hand let go of your side and feel the round tip of the sex toy press against your lubricated sphincter.

You breath in deeply as the rubber cock makes its way along your back passage. It holds steady for a second before withdrawing, not quite all the way out, and then makes its return deep inside you. This carries on a few times as a steady rhythm builds, Larry staring at you the whole time. You subconsciously change your breathing to match the rhythm, and begin thrusting back and forth in order to increase the pleasure you are getting, determined to put on a good show for your neighbours.

After I read those passages, I paused to lubricate my bottom hole dildo, and (a bit painfully - needed to be true to the story) inserted it into my bum hole where it would stay until orgasm.

Yes, the above is kind of what I looked like. Please tell me other people do things like this also. I hope I'm not the only one. And, yes Tanky, your story literally made me do that!

I then turned back onto my back, pushing the dildo in deeper by lying on it. As I squirmed and worked my hips, I could make it fuck me a little. In this state I began rubbing my pussy with my right hand while re-reading the previous paragraph with my iPad in my left as best I could. It adds to the literary experience to have a dildo up your bum and a finger in your pussy.

After I re-read it I propped the iPad up where I could see it, and turned onto my right side. With my fingers still in and around my pussy, I used the dildo to exactly emulate the actions in the story.

You breath in deeply as the rubber cock makes its way along your back passage. It holds steady for a second before withdrawing, not quite all the way out, and then makes it's return deep inside you. This carries on a few times as a steady rhythm builds, Larry staring at you the whole time. You subconsciously change your breathing to match the rhythm, and begin thrusting back and forth in order to increase the pleasure you are getting, determined to put on a good show for your neighbours.

"May I please play with myself, ma'am?" you ask.

"Of course you may!" comes the reply, emphasised with a solid slap administered to your left buttock. You take your dominant hand off the floor and apply your still-greasy digits to your most feminine opening, and you deftly begin to manipulate yourself. It is not long until you are giddy with pleasure, and you climax noisily in front of your husband and your guests.

I go through the same paragraph several times, rehearsing the actions and feeling them deeply in my rectum. I then close my eyes and see the words. I imagine Larry and David both standing there watching as the wife fucks me deep in my ass with my strap-on dildo. I fuck myself harder and whisper to myself "harder... please..." and I go harder still. I whisper "may I please play with myself ma'am?" as does the character in the story. I slap my own ass and say "Of course you may!" My fingers dance around my pussy and onto my clit. I am fucking myself, diddling my clit, as I imagine the men watching my every move.

I am close, but I know there is more to the story so I calm myself down and turn back to face up, breathing hard. I pick up the iPad and continue reading, the dildo still deeply up my behind.

"Well, you're clearly enjoying yourself. You may offer your mouth up to my husband."

You look Larry dead in the eye and ask him, "Would you like me to suck you off, sir?"

"Absolutely I would!" he responds, unzipping his fly and lowering his underwear to reveal his hard cock and tight, hairy balls.

You adjust your posture and reach up hungrily with your mouth, using your hand to guide Larry's helmet into you eagerly. You have been critiqued on your oral skills before, and are determined to do a good job. Your lips form a tight seal around his shaft, and your tongue explores his throbbing member enthusiastically. You keep one hand on the base of his engorged cock and use the other to cradle his balls, enjoying the way they feel and how they respond to your touch. It's not long before you feel his cock spasm violently, your mouth filling with hot jizz. The whole time you've been pleasuring Larry his wife has been methodically working your back passage.

I read the passage several times, squirming against the dildo in my ass, fingering myself. I put the iPad down. I took the other dildo, the one with realistic balls, and I put it into my mouth, imagining I am sucking off Larry as her wife and my husband watch. I cradle his balls with my hand and suck his cock deep into me. I picked up my Hitachi, which was at the ready, turned it on, and applied it to my pussy, stimulating my clit ridiculously.

I squirmed on my bed, fucking myself with my dildo while sucking hard on the mouth dildo, lips tightly sealed around it in the classic "O". I gagged myself with its balls on my chin. I sucked it hard as I imagined Larry jizzing deep down my throat while I am watched. I repeated the thought, over and over, and came furiously, yelling and bucking while simultaneously gagging myself on my dildo.

There gentle readers, is how excellent pornography should be read!

I highly recommend that you go over and visit Tanky's Blog. He deserves an audience (after you read his stuff, and also about his trials and tribulations, you will agree). It's linked in my blog roll on the right as well.

Moreover, as a coordinated launch sort of thing, Tanky wrote a sequel in which I am spanked and Larry's daughter gets in on the action as well: DINNER AT JULIE'S: A CROSSOVER EVENT!

Welcome to the blogosphere as a shiny new light, Tanky!