Sandy's Story

A young woman who named herself Sandy reached out to me in the comments section of the Mr. Daniels blog post (this comment). She said she was "working on a guy" currently to try to get him to spank her properly, but had not achieved that yet. We all know what she wants from him:

I offered to help coach the couple over email, and so that's what we're doing now. It's been only a short time, but we've already exchanged dozens of long emails between all three of us. We're still working up to that first "real" spanking with great anticipation.

Sandy was clever and did not use her real name; and when she emailed me as I invited her to, she set up a new email for that purpose. She had her boyfriend, whom she christened "Tom", do the same. Because of the anonymity provided, both Tom and Sandy have graciously allowed me to share their adventure on the blog. I think it may help others who find themselves in a similar situation.

Here was her first email to me.

Hi Julie,

I'm the "Sandy" from your blog comments. 28F living in [redacted] with boyfriend.

Really love your blog ever since I found it. I've been following spanking blogs for a while, and then I saw you mentioned on Domestic Discipline, Jenny Style where she recommended you. It was right around the start of COVID. I loved how you were inspired by her and created your own DD contract, but then tossed it a few weeks later. That was funny. I enjoy Jenny's blog, but they take it too serious and too far for my taste. I guess you agree. You seem to strike the right balance for my taste as a "spanked wife" as you call it. So I guess I'm a wannabe spanked wife 🤭.

I like all your posts, but the spanked wife ones the most. I don't think I'd ever be into spanking the guy, at least not the same way. I even like your political posts. Even if I don't agree I enjoy reading about your viewpoint.

Thanks for the offer to help out with my bf and get me spanked properly. I can't believe I'm doing this😲.

Sandy and Tom are not our real names, and I just setup this email account. Is that ok? Do you need my real name? I understand "Julie" isn't your real name either right? I guess that's how it's done. It feels like I'm a super spy or something 😂.

Anyways, just want to make sure you get this email and it's still ok to correspond and you weren't kidding about helping out.

Have not spoken with "Tom" yet about any of this. Figured I could use your advice on that.

Let me know next steps sort of thing. And thank you again.

"Sandy" 

I often put out offers to help like this in the comments, but rarely get a response, so I was happy to see Sandy pull one together so quickly, pseudonymous email account and everything.

I wrote back straight away.

Hi Sandy!

So nice to meet you.

I think it's wise to use pseudonyms when online and exchanging info about private stuff like this. Most fetishists do. You never know who's on the other end, or if somebody disturbed wants to track you down and hold this stuff over your head. So I hereby christen you Sandy without the quotes. Welcome to your secret identity!

Thanks for the compliments about my blog, and thanks for being so tolerant about other points of view when so many seem not to be nowadays.

And sure, I'd love to help out! Given you have your secret identity locked in, is it ok if I post about how this goes? My readers would for sure be interested. It's not essential, and if you want to keep it just between us, that's perfectly fine also.

So I don't know anything about you guys at all. Let's start there. When did you first know you were into spanking? Were you spanked as a kid? Have you had any adult spanking experiences? What's your spanking fantasy life like? Have you told anybody about your fetish? Tell me about your boyfriend. Is he uptight about things or generally cool with things. Does he have fetishes? How's your sex life? What does he like in the sack? I presume he knows about your spanking fetish but is not a natural? Has he spanked you at all? If so, how did that go? What's his attitude about it like? That should be a good start.

I'm interested in your replies and then we can work out an approach together. Write as much as you want, the more detail the better. I'm sure we can get you spanked properly before we're done. Exciting!

Julie

Sandy wrote me straight back with a rather long email  I think you'll be as interested in her responses as I was. I'll inject additional blog commentary inline and indented in black ink.

Julie,

I'm ok with you posting. I know you have a blog that needs writing, but you never seem to run out of ideas regardless. But I think we'd need to ok it with Tom once we tell him.

Thanks for the questions, I'll use them as an outline sort of thing.

I guess a little more background first that I'm ok with you sharing if you think it adds?

I just turned 28, pretty average looking to be honest. Went to University and stayed in redacted after. Got a job in government. Met Tom on a dating app, like about a year before COVID? When everybody needed to lock down we decided to quarantine together at his place. I know, so romantic. Was pretty cramped though. About a year ago we both gave up our apartments and we rented a bungalow together. Pretty shitty place but we like it. Tom's a software engineer. We go on hikes and stuff when we can. And learning to downhill ski (he's been skiing since a kid).

Ok, on to your questions.

When did you first know you were into spanking?

I can tell you exactly when. 13 years old. There was a graphic novel on one of the bookshelves at home called "Barbarella" by Jean Claude Forest. Do you know it? It was all in French. My Mom is French, and I went to French immersion school, so I could sort of read it. My Mom was always trying to get me to improve my French and she actually gave it to me to read. She said it's a little "adult" and I should ask her if I have any questions. I remember being so embarrassed for some reason.

The main character is a beautiful blonde spacegirl who always seems to be getting into adventures and losing her clothes and being rescued by hot guys and sleeping with them. It was actually pretty exciting for a thirteen year old girl. I took it and hid it in my room and would only read it when my door was closed. I didn't want anybody to catch me reading it. And I never took Mom up on asking her any questions about it.

At one point Barbarella gets rescued from two teen brat princesses, and then they get spanked by their father the King. It was only the one panel in the entire book. That was literally the moment for me. I got what you describe as a "tingle in my pussy" the moment I saw that. There's lots of other sexy stuff, but I didn't care about any of it. I obsessed over the tiny amount of spanking. It was the first time I masturbated, on my tummy, imagining i was the brat princess getting spanked.

After that I started slyly looking for more spanking stuff. I didn't really have unsupervised Internet back then, but there were used book stores, and I found a novel called "Ellen's Story" by anonymous. I opened up and right on the first page there was already a spanking. I was so excited. I blushed and put the book down. I was with my family. Next weekend I made some excuse and took public transit back to the book store desperately hoping nobody had bought it, and used my own money to buy it. I bought two other normal books for cover also.

There was an old fat guy ringing up my purchases. He gave an extra glance at "Ellen's Story", looked at me, sort of said "hmmm", and then rung it up anyways. That was so embarrassing. I think he knew exactly what that book was and why I was buying it. That book was a goldmine though, and worth the embarrassment. So many spankings!

I still have both those things. I could send pics of the good parts if you want?

I found that "spanking origin story" great! Sandy has sent me a lot of pics and scans of both those things she loved so much in her childhood, and in the next blog article we'll revisit this along with some further info that Sandy wanted to share.

Were you spanked as a kid?

No never. Did not even know of any other kids who were spanked. I was totally unaware of spankings at all until Barbarella.

Have you had any adult spanking experiences?

No, nothing except my attempts with my current boyfriend. He's the first person I even told about my spanking fetish.

What's your spanking fantasy life like?

Started young, as I said. Found some other spanking novels like Ellen's Story, but none of them were quite as good. Some were more S&M style, which are sort of adjacent, but not as exciting for me, you know? I always liked the embarrassing domestic discipline stuff, which is why I like your blog so much.

By the time I was 16 I got a computer in my room "to do homework". I never posted anything, was too afraid to, but I lurked on all sorts of forums, and spanking story sites, and some blogs. I would print out some of the stories and bring them to bed with me and wind up masturbating. I did that a lot. Never into images or videos too much back then. Got more into videos after I moved out on my own for University. Realspankings was actually a favourite. I got a subscription for like a month, downloaded all I could, and then cancelled it as I couldn't afford to keep it up. But then I watched some of those videos over and over again. Coach (Mr. Daniels) was my favourite, so when he reached out to you, I just had to comment (first spanking comment, ever).

Have you told anybody about your fetish?

Nobody other than my current boyfriend. I was so embarrassed about it. Had a couple of other boyfriends in high school (just kissing and petting) and university (went "all the way"), but I never felt comfortable sharing my spanking fetish at all.

Tell me about your boyfriend.

Great guy. We share a lot of interests. We can talk for hours and hours about nothing at all.

Went on a few online dates before finding Tom. We just clicked. I am hoping to get married and have kids one day, and am conscious of the clock ticking here, but Tom and I aren't ready for that step yet. Hope we will be because he's definitely husband material.

Ha ha! In light of Sandy's closing that she intends this to be read by Tom, is Sandy sending a little message to Tom here? Better learn to spank her properly and put a ring on it, Tom.

Even though I am so into spanking, I was not looking for a boyfriend who would spank me at all. Isn't that strange? After we moved in together he saw all my spanking-related books and stuff, so we had to have a talk about it. I felt like a total fraud. He thought he was getting a nice vanilla girl, and I turn out to be this raving spankaholic. I downplayed it as just a fun thing for me. I have to wait until he's out to get myself off to my old favourites, and he's not out that much with COVID. He does go to the gym without me, mercifully, so when they were open and now that they're open again I do have some "me time".

WHAT a naughty girl!

But he's not really into it. When he gave me my first spanking over his knee it was so exciting for me after all that time fantasizing about it. But he went super light, because he doesn't like "hitting me" (that's actually what he calls spanking me, "hitting me"). And he didn't scold at all, or play a scene or anything like that. And as you know, I like what you like, and so it was great that he tried and I love what I get, but it's not really scratching that itch. So we don't really do it that much, I guess because neither of us really like it the way it is, but we have normal sex and everything and it's really nice.

Ah yes. The very definition of a "vanilla".

I know I have absolutely no right to, but I feel resentful that he won't even really try to figure it out. But then I've never really found the words to explain it to him either. And then I feel like what a shitty garbage human being I am to date him for a year, not tell him anything, move in with him and tell him but downplay it, and now even fucking rent a house together, and put this spanking thing on him now. I'm crying as I write this. Sorry.

Oh dear. What do they say? "I'm not crying, you're crying." That was tough to read. I was in tears.

Is he uptight about things or generally cool with things.

He's pretty cool and accepting of most things. Open minded for sure.

Does he have fetishes?

Not really. I've asked if there's anything I can do for him along those lines, and no, he's fine. He did say, when I asked him, that he would do a threesome with another girl if I wanted that. But I wouldn't even know where to start to do that. I don't have any really close female friends. I'm not into girls at all (but I would do it for him). I'm actually really shy in person if you met me. I live in books and my imagination more. Writing this is really cathartic. I should write more.

How's your sex life?

Minus the spanking part, it's really good I think. We do it multiple times a week. I have good orgasms and so does he. Sometimes he does a quicky in the morning as we wake up when I feel his erection spooning my bum. I'm usually pretty submissive and let him take the lead. I think he wishes I would initiate more, but I keep telling him that I love it when he initiates, and i love what he does with me.

I like doggy style or from behind on our sides, so I can stick my bum out and imagine I'm getting a spanking, or getting dicked down after a spanking sort of thing. I think because our sex life is so good he thinks the spanking part is no big deal. But he doesn't understand that it's different, probably because I don't even really understand. And it's on me that I haven't even really tried to explain it in any positive sort of way either.

I'm sort of starting to see a pattern emerging here.

What does he like in the sack?

Just the usual stuff. Blowjobs, playing with my tits, licking my pussy, fucking me. He's not into rough sex at all. It's all gentle. I wish he went a bit rougher. He doesn't really like any kind of bum play. He gets freaked out if my finger gets anywhere near. He never really touches me there, but I am pretty anal erotic so I wish he did.

Ha ha again. What a little hussy she is! Remember, she's writing with Tom in mind.

I presume he knows about your spanking fetish but is not a natural?

Yup. See above.

Has he spanked you at all? If so, how did that go? What's his attitude about it like?

As I mentioned above, he has, but it's pretty frustrating for me because he's not into "hurting me" at all, or into any "Daddy-daughter" kind of talking, or into any role-playing at all, and totally does not understand how humiliating me can be a turn on for me.

I asked him to spank me harder and harder until I said "uncle". I know you said to say "uncle" (yellow) a bit early to encourage him, but he got nowhere near, and when I told him he could go harder he just said, "no, I don't want to hurt you." So frustrating.

 

Is that enough to go on? You did say you wanted details. It was actually nice writing this. Had a good cry along the way.

I know you're going to want to blog about this, and so I'll have to send it to him first to get his permission. I wrote it with both those things in mind.

Please don't think Tom understands all of this how I feel. I've never properly approached it with him. Always been too scared. But maybe it's time to get at least a little bit out of my closet, right?

You got that right, little sister! What do you need me for?

Thanks for reading,

Sandy
(oops, almost typed "Sarah", also not my real name, but I forgot my secret identity for a minute there 😊).

I wrote back.

Hi Sandy, (or was it Sarah?)

Very cool that you can identify the exact instant you got interested in spanking! And what a great "spanko origin story", including the old fat guy who sold you the naughty book. Yes, please do send me pics. Including maybe pics of the juicyest bits of "Ellen's Story" as I can't find it online anywhere. I do know the Barbarella graphic novel. I used to have an English translation, but I can't find it now, but I know the frame you are thinking of with the brat princess getting her spanking. There was a Jane Fonda movie also, which was fun and weird, but no spanking as I recall.

I cried with you when I read about you crying. Oh sweetie, I feel for you. But first things first. You haven't properly communicated with Tom as of yet so let's do that first. And you know, this note to me, especially that part of it, absolutely tugged at my heart strings, and I bet it will for Tom also. I think you should just send him exactly our email chain. Yes, you're running a risk with your relationship by sharing so openly, but do you really want a long-term relationship, potentially a marriage, with a guy you cannot share with? That's what you have to ask yourself. And you're not giving him any credit at all by not trusting him with this.

Honesty is absolutely the best policy here. You are going to be unrelentingly honest with him. You haven't been so far, and that's on you. You express yourself really well in writing so you should use that. Maybe just add a cover note on top of your note to me explaining the context to him. Just before you hit send, tell him that you're going to send him an email, and that it's something he might think is silly but is actually really important to you, and you want to discuss it after he reads it carefully. I don't think you want a back and forth email exchange with him. You said everything that needs to be said in your email. The rest will work itself out.

Regarding my role (if any), I would consider telling him that because of the dynamic you wish to establish, it's hard for you to tell him exactly what to do. You just want him to do it. But then acknowledge how insane that is without any guidance at all. Say that you and I share the same interests, and I offered to act as a free email coach for him. I'm pretty sure I could tell him exactly what you need (and get him there, safely and responsibly, for you both).

Good Luck! Exciting!

Julie

Sandy appreciated my suggestion (she already knew what to do, but maybe needed just a little push from me).

Julie,

Thank you. I needed to read that. It is on me for not communicating properly with Tom, and for not giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Here's my proposed cover letter to Tom. What do you think?

--

Dear Tom,

First of all I need you to know that I really, really, really, really, really (really) love you! 💕💕💕.

This note is really hard for me to write, and has been a long time coming, but an older woman friend I've recently met online (but have been following her and her husband's spanking blog for years), named Julie, has kind of given me a slap in the face and made me realize what I need to do.

I've been hiding something from you. Something important. You know I have an interest in spanking. But I've been dishonest with you. It's way more than just an interest. It's sort of an obsession. More accurately, it's a part of me that's never going away, even if you and I both might wish it did.

Julie has been really helpful in getting me to collect and order my thoughts. She's just like me. Deep into this spanking obsession also. She wants to help (and I trust her to).

She asked me to send her an email explaining our situation. I did. I'm using a pseudonym (Sandy) because I wouldn't want any of our private stuff to be traceable back to us. You're "Tom", btw.

We discussed, and she thinks I should just send you the full email chain I had with her as a good first step. I include it all below.

My ask of you is that you read it carefully and then we can sit down and talk about it. I don't want you to do anything right away, just talk, ok?

If you're ok with trying to make things better for me about this spanking stuff, Julie has offered to be an email mentor for the both of us. If you're not comfortable with that, I totally get it, and we don't have to do that part of it if you don't want to.

I am so very sorry I did not tell you this stuff about me earlier on, and I get it and wouldn't blame you at all if you can't go on with me as a result, as sad as that would make me. But I'm being optimistic here, and hoping you can accept me as I am, and learn to cater to who I am, weirdo flaws and everything.

Love Sandy

I thought Sandy's note was absolutely perfect and told her so. Then I waited with baited breath for Tom's reaction... 

[continued in Sandy's Story - Barbarella]